Ten things I hate about Koga

Time wore on and she got used to having Koga around, even though she didn't like it. For her friends' sake she stood out with his company, but no one said she had to be nice to him, did they?

"So what is it you hate so much about Koga?" asked Kagome one day while they were watching a rugby game, where Sango's favourite (cough-not-cough) boy of course was playing.

"Well, for starters... he can't play rugby." Sango pointed down at the pitch. "See, he just fell over. Clumsy idiot."

Kagome peered down in the direction of Sango's finger.

"Sango, he just scored."

"Oh, so he's good at rugby! That's even worse. It's got to be the most stupid sport on planet earth."

"You're not making any sense. First he's stupid if he's bad at rugby, then if he's good at it. Make up your mind."

"Alright, how about this?" said Sango, not taking her eyes off the game. OK, so it was a bit interesting. "He's rude, self-centered, lazy, stupid, arrogant, ugly, sexist and he has the most STUPID  views on everything. He calls girls "chicks". He doesn't open his mouth unless it is to insult someone. He's my exact opposite in just about... I don't know... everything. OK?"

Kagome gave her a very shrewd look.

"You know what they say, opposites attract."

"Specify who "they" are. And what are you implying?"

"Nothing, darling. Ooh, he scored again!"

Sango looked at her friend, feeling very puzzled. She was so innocent in a way, and yet at the same time not. But didn't she realize...

"Kagome, doesn't it bother you that he wants to get into your pants?" Kagome jumped and stared at her, then started to laugh.

"You think he's still on about that? Oh no, no, no, he gave up a while ago. He just keeps flirting with me to annoy Inu-yasha. He's doing pretty good, too. No one can make Inu-yasha as angry as he can."

"How did you meet Inu-yasha?"

Sango kept springing this question on Kagome when she figured the other girl wasn't expecting it, hoping to get an answer. She didn't have more luck today than usually.

"It's a secret." Kagome smiled, lost in her own thoughts. Sango sighed, rolled her eyes and focused on the rugby game again. She couldn't for her life understand why had agreed to come to this. Voluntarily watching Mr. Unbelievable Git. It was probably just because her subconscious didn't want her to leave Kagome alone with Koga (since both Miroku and Inu-yasha had flat out refused to go).

What other reason could there be?

"Oh yeah, Sango... did I tell you we're all going to the movies this weekend?" asked Kagome, startling her and making her look away from the rugby pitch. She looked back again quickly, only to find she had missed a crucial part of the game.

"Aw, you made me miss the opposite team's penalty! ...Oh well, at least they didn't get it," she said with satisfaction. Kagome gave her an even shrewder look than before.

"So rugby isn't that stupid after all, is it? And since when are you cheering for Koga's team?"

"Bah, shut up. Tell me about this weekend instead."

"Alright," said Kagome, smirking in a I-know-something-you-don't-even-know-yourself-yet-way. Damn, she must have been spending too much time with Koga. "We're going to see Matrix Revolutions 'cos I've been dying to see that for ages. We figured most of our assignments are done now, so we wanted to treat ourselves a little. Are you joining us?"

"Yeah, sure... I've wanted to see that for a long while too."

"Oh, good. Then Inu-yasha's definitely overruled."

"Sorry?"

"He wanted to see something else," Kagome explained. "Can't remember what it was called, but none of us others were really interested. He's really into those old, romantic movies you know? "Casablanca" is one of his favourites, I think."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Sango, waving her hands. "Are we talking about the same guy here? Inu-yasha, owns a wardrobe consisting mainly of black clothes, looks about ready to kill every time he gets upset about something, likes to toy with a knife the size of... of... of a really really large knife?"

"Yeah," said Kagome, looking mildly surprised. "But you know he's really just like a cute puppy inside."

Sango didn't bother to answer that. Kagome took advantage of the pause to give her some more "good" information.

"Oh, and we're going to be a couple of people. Shippou and his cousin Kit are coming along – she's in town for a while and Shippou wanted to take her out to do something fun – and of course Koga, Snap and Hawk."

Sango's "WHAT?!!" was drowned in the loud cheer of the audience. The game was over and Koga's team had won. As Kagome jumped onto her seat, whooping and laughing, Sango rested her head in her hands. She was feeling the beginning of a terrible headache coming on.

                                                             *

Friday night arrived and with it, a car horn honking loudly outside Sango's window. She heard her father yell downstairs about young people with no sense of decency, and probably criminals too, and hastened to open her window to tell whoever the idiot was to go the hell away.

Of course, who should meet her gaze but Koga and his two side-kicks, Snap and Hawk.

(Are we surprised? No, me neither.)

"What are you doing here?" she hissed furiously, and was met with a huge yawn from Mr. My-people-skills-are-below-bad Koga.

"We came to pick you up," said Snap helpfully, throwing his friend a disgusted look. "Kagome said to tell you sorry she couldn't meet you, but she and Inu-yasha had a rather nasty accident with a hairdryer. So we are going to take you to the café instead."

"And if you're not down in five I might change my mind about that. Hurry up," said Koga, revving the engine for emphasis. She threw him a glare and hurried away from the window. He was getting on her nerves already. How would she be able to stand an entire night?

"Bye Dad, Kohaku!" she yelled as she ran out the door, towards the car where a heated argument was in full swing.

" – why you have to be so damn mean?" Snap was asking, glaring angrily at his friend.

"Because she can't stand me, and I can't stand her, the rich bitch. If she treats me like shit it's not more than fair if I treat her the same way, is it?" Koga looked very angry too, and Sango had a feeling she could guess who they were talking about.

"HI, SANGO!" said Hawk loudly and demonstratively, having just spotted her, and elbowed Snap in the ribs. "How's it hanging?"

"Just fine, thanks." She plastered her biggest and cutest smile on her face. "So where am I sitting?"

"Er... in the front, with Koga."

"Oh." She made sure to let her disappointment show clearly in her face before getting in the car. She noted the grim expression on Koga's face with satisfaction. If he wanted war, she would give him war. Rich bitch, was she?

They got to the café to find Kit and Kagome talking about sales, Miroku chatting up the waitress, Shippou creating a work of art out of three coffee-stained serviettes and Inu-yasha looking as if he had just been through a terrible ordeal. Sango immediately went and sat next to him, asking what was the matter.

"It was... horrible..." He shuddered. "I was just standing there peacefully with the hairdryer... and suddenly it started eating my hair. And I tried to get it off, but it just stuck. And then Kagome came and turned the power of."

"Well, that's OK then, isn't it?" said Sango, patting his hand soothingly.

"You haven't heard the worst part yet." Inu-yasha drew a deep breath. "She cut my hair. And there I was, at the mercy of someone who hasn't cut a person's hair in her entire life..."

"Hey!" Kagome shouted angrily from the next table. "Yura showed me how to do it, it's easy!"

"Yeah, yeah..." muttered Inu-yasha, then explained to Sango, "Yura is her insane hairdresser. So there I was, at the mercy of someone who learnt all she knew from a girl who says "la?" in every sentence like another five-year-old, dresses like a whore and purrs to her customers about how nice their heads would look on her wall, and can you now understand why I was a tad scared? "I'm going to fix it up, it's all uneven," she says and proceeds to attack my scalp with a pair of scissors that could rival my knife. And when she's finally finished I just hear her say one word: "Oops." It was around then I fainted."

"But Inu-yasha..." Sango frowned. "Your hair looks fine."

"Yeah, I don't understand that either," he said, looking puzzled. "I think she bribed her mum to fix it up while I was unconscious."

"I did not!" exclaimed Kagome indignantly. "I fixed it all by myself! And I only said oops because I dropped my towel!"

"Yeah right," snorted Inu-yasha and ducked a coffee cup thrown by his pissed-off girlfriend.

"Oh lord, look at the time!" Kit exclaimed suddenly, making them all jump. "We don't want to be late to the movie!"

"Yes we do," muttered Inu-yasha, and was ignored. The others hastened to gather their stuff together and get out from the café.

(It can here be mentioned that the serviettes Shippou had been playing with were later found by their waitress. She sold the sculpture he had created from them to an art gallery for quite a large sum, which enabled her to quit her job and take a nice holiday to Bahamas. There she met a kind and good-looking bartender, married and had twelve children, plus two dogs and a canary. She never served another coffee in her entire life, and was much happier for it.)

"Tickets, everyone!" said Kagome, handing them out. "I haven't got the slightest clue of what seats we have, but there are no single tickets, I made sure of that." They all got their tickets and left for the cinema, which was just over the road. As they had very little time left before the movie started they just rushed in, got their tickets checked and proceeded quickly to finding their seats. And Sango found that she...

'Kagome, you planned this, you sly bitch,' she thought.

...she was sitting right next to Koga, who didn't look too happy about it either. Fortunately, she had Snap on her other side so she would at least be able to talk to someone during the movie. She was sure Kagome had fixed it up to make her talk to Koga though.

Curse that girl.

The movie was good, and chatting to Snap proved to be very entertaining. He was such a clever guy, even though he didn't usually show it. At first Sango tried to stubbornly ignore Koga, but she found it very hard when he kept a) leaning across her to say something to Snap or b) making lots of very sarcastic, very funny remarks about the film. Damn it, he actually got her laughing.

She had just turned towards him to ask something when there was a deafening explosion on the screen. In the sudden fright she grabbed a hold of whatever it was that was closest and hung on for dear life, squeezing her eyes shut. She then remembered that it was just a movie and opened her eyes again, feeling very embarrassed.

It was then she became aware of what she had been hugging.

"Ho," said Koga, gently prying her arms off his neck. "Now I know which movie to bring chicks to. Not a bad result."

And he smiled.

"You should smile more often, it's much nicer than when you smirk," Sango said without thinking. Then she blushed furiously, turned away from his surprised expression and spent the rest of the movie talking to Snap and Snap only.

'What was that all about?!' she asked herself, once home again later that night. 'What the hell was that all about?!' She pummeled her pillow angrily.

'Why does the bastard always make me so confused?! God, I hate him! I hate him I hate him I hate him!!!'

She gave the pillow a last good bash and then laid down to sleep, trying not to think about how nice Koga looked when he smiled.