Innocence
By Natsue Arishima

Chapter Two: Silent Agony

Everything was white.

From every direction, the world was bleak, empty... So empty...

He felt horribly alone.

Shutting his golden eyes, the boy breathed deeply. Where was he?

His knees bent, and he fell forward. Preventing his fall only just by pushing out his arms, he remained motionless, facing the frosted ground, staring into the darkness of his eyelids. No... don't open them... you don't want to see...

The temptation was too great. His hopes gradually rose... It's a dream... Once you open your eyes, everything will be normal.

Everything...


Slowly, slowly, he permitted his eyes open to a slit.

From between the slender strands of his golden brown hair, he could see nothing but...

White.

No! His hands clenched into shaking fists, and he blinked a few times, never letting his eyes open more than they were before.

Breathing deeply, he snapped them wide open and stood up shakily, scanning around him.

His surroundings never changed.

Forcing himself to remain calm, the young boy took a few hesitant steps forward. Each of his tentative footsteps seemed to echo throughout the barren land.

No trees, no hills, no houses, no nothing. There wasn't even grass. The silence stretched on, and the ground was forever flat, forever white, reaching the edges of eternity. There was no boundary between earth and sky.

No heavens, no sun, no moon... Did those things even exist in such a place as this? His faint spark of hope slowly dwindled out, like water on flame.

Hours passed. Every second seemed to contain everlasting time. No... not time, even. He doubted that there was even time here.

He didn't know how far he had walked. For all he knew, he could have stayed in the same spot. Everything was the same... There was nothing here.

Absolutely nothing...

His eyes suddenly spotted a dark figure up ahead. Perhaps... another living creature? He quickly started to walk faster, faster... He was feeling faint strains in his legs, his breath was becoming difficult...

And yet, the shape didn't seem to be nearing.

He yelled in exasperation, and starting sprinting, his feet pounding the hard ground. He gave off another fierce spurt of speed, and slowly, ever so slowly, the distant figure neared.

Gasping for breath, the boy stopped inches away from the now distinguished man. "E-excuse me... sir..." He coughed, before shaking his head and straightening up. "Could you tell me where we are...?"

The other didn't seem to hear him. Frowning slightly, the boy stepped closer. "Sir...?" Tentatively, he bit his lip, before waving his hand in front of the man's eyes.

No movement. Not even a flicker.

He slowly let out his breath. What...?

Staring at his oblivious companion, the boy was able to see locks of spiky brown hair, held back along with two feathers by a scarlet band. The bronze eyes were glittering, and a few stray tears slid down the tanned cheeks.

He was wearing a black and gold vest, and had numerous tattoos on his muscled arms. A necklace of bells was hung around his neck. Casual, scarlet pants were held up by a matching sash.

A pirate...

He knew this man... but from where? His memory failed to help him.

As the boy watched, the scene suddenly changed. The two men were left alone as the surroundings swirled together in a single, colorful blur.

And then they were on a battleground. Bodies littered the blood soaked grass. Here and there, a few officers in red still stood. The air was cool, quiet. Grey, thunderous clouds covered the blue sky.

The pirate dropped to his knees, unmistakably crying. And the boy suddenly noticed that another form had taken place in front of the shaking man.

It was the form of a young officer, with golden eyes and light brown hair. Blood was flowing from an open wound in his stomach, blending in with his already red battle outfit and staining his white pants. Two short swords lay on the ground besides him, as well as a single, crimson hat.

Who is that...?

I know him... I'm sure of it.


The watching boy's own golden eyes widened.

Is that...?

Is that me...?


The pirate gently leaned forward, embracing the small figure in his own arms. The boy felt his jaw drop slightly. He knew those two... he was sure. Slowly, he reached out a small hand, looking for his needed support. At the same time, the surroundings blurred together as they did before. His hand brushed through the cheek of the golden-eyed boy and once again found himself in a world of white...

And completely alone.

Alone.

Holding up his hands, he stood still, looking down at them. He felt lost, cold...

Who am I...?

He couldn't remember.

He couldn't remember anything.

Suddenly, he tensed. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

He spun around wildly, scanning his bleak, empty world. His hands felt strangely empty. What was it...? What...?

And then, with a jolt, he knew.

His heart wasn't beating.

Desperate, he shook himself, clutching his chest. Beat! Please! Throwing himself on the ground, he continued pounding himself, banging his head against the white ground as well. Beat! Beat! Please...

The moments passed, and he slowed, panting. Sweat dripped from his pale face, his eyes stared at the ground, flickering. And still, so strangely, breathing.

This is a dream...

He swallowed. Why... can't I wake up...?

Squeezing his eyes closed again, he could feel tears mingled with sweat on his cheeks. Why can't I remember anything...?

And do I really want to wake up...?

Do I want to see...?


~*~

The pirate bit his already bleeding lip, forcing himself not to cry. The tears created a dam in his chest, the pain too hard to bear. A cry caught in his throat.

His grasped even harder around Lu Xun's pale, motionless hand. The young boy had been in the same bed for the past few days, never waking.

The room was silent, the white walls glinting emptily in the few dying rays of the sun. It was too quiet in here... as if the slightest sound could wake the dead.

Don't think about that...

Gan Ning looked up wearily as he sensed another presence over the threshold, his eyes dark.

Da Qiao.

"Hey Gan Ning..." she whispered, attempting her usual cheerful smile.

The pirate looked back towards the bed onto Lu Xun's pale face. He looked so helpless... Gan Ning brushed a strand of hair out of the small face, and almost immediately pulled his hand back.

He's so bitter cold...

The Qiao crept nearer to him. Next to the bed, she looked down. Tears immediately filled her eyes. "He's still not awake."

Nodding mutely, the two stared in silence at their friend.

Forgive me... for everything...

As if reading his mind, Da Qiao turned around to him. Her dark eyes were full of beauty and grace, as well as a small pool of sorrow. "Stop blaming yourself. This isn't your fault..."

Gan Ning spun around. "Yeah, whatever. Who said I was blaming myself anyway?" He angrily stormed away, his lips pressed in a thin line.

"Even though you don't want to talk about it, you will have to sometime..." She turned slowly back to Lu Xun and placed a hand on his forehead. "I know you care for him more then that..."

His footsteps faltered. Inches away from the threshold, he turned his head. Da Qiao smiled at him. Scoffing, the pirate stepped into the hallway, his dark form fading.

"Whatever."

But, he was secret hoping, hoping with all his might, all of his power, all of his will... that the boy would, somehow, be all right.

Inside, the pain was slowly killing him.

Why did it have to come to this...?
**********

A/N: Wow... that was short. Sorry! Fried brain cells, yep! Anyhoo, please R&R! It really helps! Gyah... my ego is inflating... ^^

--Natsue Arishima