Chapter 1: Imperfections
Part B
Does she know you're CIA? They'd been in the car for only 20 minutes, but with Vaughn's accelerated driving and the lighter than normal traffic she could tell they were nearing their destination. Sydney steered the lighthearted conversation off the early stages of the drive towards issues that had to be cleared up before arriving. Things like his matriarch's knowledge of her son's profession – how horrible would it be if she simply blurted it out when she knew nothing of what she was talking about? Pretty bad. Vaughn laughed as he twisted the wheel down one of numerous identical-looking streets.
I've never told her directly, but I suspect she's figured it out by now, he answered. She's a very smart woman, very observant, he added on, his voice dropping with the last part, as if he were talking to himself. Sydney made a mental note to file that away for later use. Observant, huh? She could just imagine Vaughn running in the house after some mischief only to be cornered by his mother, who could see straight through his lies and pathetic attempts to cover up his actions. Of course, she was sure they matched wits often; the Vaughn she knew was no man of simply normal intelligence.
Sydney sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears. So we'll have to lie.
I wouldn't go that far, Vaughn said, turning to give her a quick, sympathetic look before stopping at a stop sign.
Goes back to that observant remark, doesn't it? she inquired. It was so nice out here, away from the congestion of the city. She looked out the window, the quaint, nice neighborhood of smaller-sized family homes rushing by outside the window. For some reason, she always pictured his mother living alone in a house too large for simply one person, yet loved just the same.
She'll call you on them, he told her, smirking. But you can try; I regard it as some kind of game.
Oh? Well, then your line of work is perfectly fitted to you, Sydney retorted. Vaughn's expression darkened for a second, a flash of something dark in his eyes, but it was gone before Sydney could even notice. But she noticed something, as the conversation fell silent after her off-hand comment. She crossed her arms and set her head to look out the window at the homes whizzing by the window. At least childhood was always the same; happy, innocent, not filled with these games she played now.
I wouldn't say that, he remarked, echoing what he'd said earlier. I like to think we're fitted for the jobs we have. Sydney turned to face him once again – this was a side of him she'd never heard, rather, she'd seen only glimpses before. She'd slowly begun to realize, in the last five months or so, that he wasn't that different than her, no matter how much she'd thought otherwise earlier in their relationship, or friendship, as it had started off as. He just had a different way of handling it all. While she let it fuel her with anger and let everyone know exactly how she felt about, well, everything in her life; Vaughn internalized it and let it out only after extreme pressure. Sometimes, she wished she could be like him, but she had seen first hand what it did to him.
She was certainly taking measures to make sure something like that never happened again, though she wasn't sure how successful that undertaking was at the moment.
I'm so nervous, Sydney finally stated with a gush of pent-up breath. I don't know why, though. You've met my parents and everything went okay, well, okay as it could go considering the circumstances, so I guess –
Vaughn stated, his voice soft. He reached over and gripped her hand with his right one in an effort to calm her down. You're babbling, he continued once she had quieted down, a smirk, albeit a small one, appearing on his face. He was doing that a lot lately, she observed, but it never seemed to spread all the way into his eyes – it would touch but not linger as if he were always occupied with something else. Of course, it could simply be her projecting her own fears on to him. He seemed to be enjoying her uneasiness, which caused her to believe he knew something she didn't. But if he was happy and comfortable, then there was nothing to worry about, right?
Right.
Sydney could not help but continue to doubt herself as her boyfriend parked the car. Parked, as in they had arrived and there was no turning back. And while she had met, lied to, stolen from, and assaulted numerous people, she had never given a thought to their acceptance of her. She did now. Vaughn seemed, at least to her, like the kind of man who valued his mother's opinion and if the mother didn't like her, then he might –
Naw, he'd never do that. C'mon, he just opened the car door for her!
It's nice, Sydney commented on the small brick house he was leading her to. Nice and normal, how she continuously told herself she liked life. She felt a pang of envy, wishing she had someplace like this to spend her Thanksgivings at instead of an empty apartment. Would her relationship with Vaughn allow her to join?
She bought it about 10 years ago under the guise of wanting to be closer, he explained, walking her past a pretty and trimmed flowerbed. He was smooth, getting out the explanation without specifying exactly what his mother wanted to be closer to. But I think it was just because she missed California.
An added bonus being that her son lives nearby? Sydney quipped from next to him. He nodded, pulling open the screen door and sticking his head inside. As he called a greeting out to his mom, Sydney took a deep breath and followed him inside.
The interior of the house was certainly eclectic in nature, filled with things collected over a lifetime. The couch matched a color in the wall, but there was no clear style in the room. Some was old, some was newer, all combined to make it a home. She smiled, walking around the living room slowly behind Vaughn. A few pictures hung on the wall that angled up as the side of the central staircase, older prints from happier years. She paused before a family portrait hung in the middle, slightly larger than the others. To her right, she heard Vaughn stop walking, then head towards her as she looked at faded yet cheerful faces standing together in a sun-filled backyard. The taller man, Vaughn's father (she recognized him from the photo in the file she'd been shown so long ago) stood with his arm around a woman of almost equal height with closely cropped blond hair. In front of them crouched two boys with large dopey grins on their faces. She frowned.
she asked, Who's that? She pointed to one of the boys who she assumed wasn't him. The two of them appeared about three years apart, almost identical and certainly getting their looks from their father.
he replied. I'm surprised with you, Syd.
Then who's that? she asked, blushing as she switched who she was pointing at. Vaughn put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels.
My younger brother, Alex. Could have sworn you knew about him, he said. She shook her head. All this time, she'd thought he was an only child, living in his father's shadow. Last I heard, he was living in New York.
'Last I heard?' Michael, I'm disappointed in you, a rich, almost sing-song voice remarked from their right, from the entranceway to the kitchen. The pair turned, Vaughn subconsciously placing a hand on the small of Sydney's back. She smiled at Sydney, who noticed her hair was simply a little longer than in the picture, her face a bit aged, but still smiling. She certainly didn't appear to be a woman who had two sons, one of which was in his thirties. Sydney hoped she could age so well.
As always, he joked. She shook her head in mock disbelief.
So, this is Sydney, she said, taking a step towards her. I've heard so much about you, I was beginning to believe he was making you up. Next to Sydney, Vaughn sighed and cocked his head to the side, passively showing his embarrassment. I'm Marie, it's nice to finally meet you. Sydney smiled. Well, let me grab my purse so we can leave. You're 10 minutes late.
Sorry. It was – Sydney smacked him in the arm before he could finish that sentence. He reached up to rub it, realizing that while most women's playful smacks wouldn't hurt, this was Sydney, who could probably kick his ass. His mother disappeared from view, her feet clicking on the tile in the kitchen, giving the pair a second alone. Vaughn twisted her to him and kissed her quickly. See, she already likes you, he told her, his hands resting on her shoulders.
How can you tell? she asked, leaning against him. He laughed a true, full laugh unlike the one she heard earlier that day.
She let us off easy for being late. Trust me; you don't want to hear her tardiness lecture.
I'm sure you remember every word.
//
It was the fourth time that night Vaughn wished he could hide underneath his chair (though he soon realized that wasn't possible, as he was six feet tall and the chair was two). The air around him was heavy with conversation, a few voices, the annoying ones, sticking out from the blanket of conversational chaos. The atmosphere was casual, relaxed, most of the patrons still dressed in work attire slightly loosened. The man at the table across from him had taken off his tie and laid it on the table where there was space. A woman he'd seen as they walked in had un-tucked her button up. This was a limbo between work and home, a limbo Vaughn seemed to exist in. Sure, he had work, like everyone else sitting around him, but as they could sit here with their badges still on, complaining about the horrible day they'd just had, he couldn't. And after this meal, they could go home and decompress, their mind on nothing more than a nice relaxing night at home. He'd always have to keep his pager handy, always sitting in wait for a page.
Thus, he lived at work, and in limbo. Or, maybe it was work, and a break from work, his apartment a large office break room with a bed. So was Sydney's house his limbo? His time away from work? He didn't like that option either, and absentmindedly scratched the back of his neck. The women continued to laugh despite his checking-out mentally, completely occupied by embarrassing stories about him. He knew this wasn't a good idea, getting these two together.
With Alice, he didn't have to worry. She was always so proper, so cold when out in a social situation like this. Plus, his mother never liked her and spoke very rarely when around her. So this dinner was something completely different from the others he'd been at in the last four years and while he wanted to climb under his chair, he loved having the feeling that made him want to. Sydney made him feel alive in so many ways he ought to make a list just to keep track of them.
He picked at his steak, his mind elsewhere at the moment, not even hearing what the others at the table were saying. That is, until he heard his name being called, and the combination of his mother and Sydney calling it definitely caught his attention, as he only heard his full name when he was in trouble. He didn't like being in trouble. Unless it was for a good cause.
he pursed his lips, letting the question slip through them.
Where did you go? Sydney asked, a smile on her face as if it were permanently etched there. She looked like she did at all those dinner gatherings she went on with her friends, before things got too deep, too involved.
Oh, don't mind him, he's just like his father, always checking out at the oddest times, Marie commented offhand, following it with another sip of her wine.
Hey, that's not fair, he defended himself.
Then what were we talking about? Sydney inquired, turning to face him, her head leaning on her open hand. Vaughn smiled a wide smile and crossed his arms across his chest.
he smugly remarked. Both women started laughing again.
Arrogant Vaughn, Sydney managed to get out. I kinda like it. This only made Vaughn's smile grow, but Marie's diminished a bit in exchange. A constant reminder of the one thing she completely disagreed with her son over was this girl's method of referring to him by his last name only. And the fact that he wasn't bothered by it at all only reaffirmed his absorption into his job. An absorption that would only get him in trouble or killed, just like his father. It wasn't what she'd wished for her eldest child, but he'd fought her on this, time and time again.
He hadn't told her what he was doing, but she figured it out soon enough, she knew what to look for this time around. After being blinded by the lies surrounding her husband, Marie had vowed she would never be such a fool ever again, that no one would be able to hurt her again. Yes, she had figured it out soon enough and almost lost him over it. She had never heard him yell so loud before as he did that afternoon 9 years ago, and had it not been for the passion, the fire burning in his haunted eyes, she might not have supported him.
Now, she had a feeling he was in over his head, falling down the same downward spiral as his father.
Vaughn raised an eyebrow. Well, I can keep it up.
And surely drive this nice girl away in a week. I have no idea how you keep them around, Michael, Marie commented, a smile plastered on her face. He glanced at her, narrowing his eyes a bit as to read what was wrong with her, but Marie was no open book, and he soon gave up.
He has his ways. Vaughn is really a wonderful person, Marie, Sydney said to the matriarch.
It wasn't easy, but I did my best.
With a complete series of lectures you could make a book out of, Vaughn commented.
Yes, but tell me, Sydney, is he always on time?
He is! she exclaimed.
I prove my point. I told you that you'd understand one day, didn't I? The question came out as more of a statement. Vaughn groaned, but agreed with her by giving a simple nod.
Sydney gave him a measured glance, gazing at his eyes, trying to read them. He was still struggling with understanding his other parent's contribution to him, a struggle she found he was still focused on even though everyone else had let it slip to the back burner. Wait, Vaughn said she was an observant woman, could she know something about the past they didn't know?
She was about to open her mouth to say something when Vaughn's pager went off, followed by her own. The pair plucked them from their sides and read them.
You are not letting that place dictate your lives, Marie commanded, quieting down a bit as the waitress slipped the check down on the table. We still have desert. The pair turned to look at each other, then Vaughn pulled out his cell phone and called in, rising from his seat and finding a corner in which he could shield the conversation from the restaurant's other patrons.
That boy never listens, Marie shook her head, her eyes falling from his half-hunched figure to her hands on the table in front of her.
He's good at his job, though, Sydney defended him in his absence. He won't make the mistakes his father did, she continued, but wished she could have taken it back as soon as the words left her mouth. That topic must be one of those not considered proper for conversation, and she wished they would have had cleared all this up before arriving. Marie's head snapped up, her gray eyes calculating. He-he's told me a little about what –
He's going to. I've already seen the signs, the ones I missed the first time around. Except for you, she smiled. I couldn't be there for William all the time, when he was away or at the office, but you can be there. You're much better than that Alice girl – she was so fake.
I only met her a few times, Sydney admitted. Didn't like her either time.
Was that because of her, or because she was with Michael? Marie asked. Sydney smiled.
At the time, I kept telling her it was because I didn't like her personality. But after awhile, I realized it was because of who she was with.
I thought so. He's been making the wrong choices for so long, I'm glad to see he's finally made a good one, the matriarch commented, glancing up at him for a second.
I can agree with you about Alice, but I don't think he's been making the wrong decisions in his life, Sydney said, getting a little angry. She looked over her shoulder; Vaughn looked engrossed in the phone call he was on, which gave her a little time before he came back. He's good at what he does. He's saved countless lives, including my own, and serves his country as best he can. And you have no idea what he has to deal with every day; I'm not surprised he – And she stopped, remembering a discussion she'd had a week after it all happened, about how he didn't want to tell anyone what had happened. His face had turned a bit red as soon as he finally realized all that he'd done, and said he'd die of shame if it became public knowledge. He was joking, of course.
He what? Marie inquired, leaning forward. Sydney looked down, her brown hair falling in front of her face. Great, what was she going to do now? Has it come to a point where national security precludes me from finding out what's going on with my own son?
Vaughn swooped down to give Sydney a kiss on the cheek before he moved back to his own seat. This could mean one of two things; the phone conversation went bad, and he needed that for moral support, or it was all okay and he was celebrating. She hoped for the latter, and wished for him to jump into the conversation as soon as possible to save her. Instead, he reached out for the check, and when his mother didn't hand it to him, he frowned.
Who was on the phone? Sydney asked sweetly.
Your father. He'd like to see us later, he responded promptly, vaguely. He leaned back in his chair just as he usually did during briefings, when he was thinking over the information he'd just been given. He was supposed to save her from where this conversation had gone and he'd already checked out. Great.
Your father works with you two as well? Marie observed, still leaning forward. Sydney nodded, somewhat apprehensively and shot her boyfriend a glance. How did things go south so quickly? I'm sure I'm keeping you –
He said to take our time, Vaughn interjected from nowhere. No rush.
He paged both of us and it's no rush? Sydney inquired. He nodded.
I took care of it.
What happened, Sydney? Marie said, obviously referring to words said before. So she hadn't forgotten. And this earned her a sharp look from Vaughn, who was now leaning forward in his chair.
It was nothing –
It was *not* nothing! Sydney interrupted him. And since you never told her, you never found out if she had any information that could help!
Vaughn shot her a dark glance, hoping that would shut her up. She didn't know what she was talking about, she didn't know how much he'd had to work at making everything work just right.
Marie said simply, attempting to gain his attention. But he had closed his eyes as he worked to calm himself down. How had everything gotten so weird so fast?
What did my father call about? Sydney asked suddenly, her voice stern. He opened his eyes and ran a worried hand through his short hair. He didn't want to say anything, he didn't want to worry her like he had before – she had already been so nervous about coming out to dinner, and he could see why, now, with her and his mother already arguing with each other. Or, something like that.
I'll tell you later, he breathed, opening his eyes.
By the way both of
them looked at him, he was sure he just dug himself a grave. Why couldn't
there be more room under the chair?
