Chapter 47

The Words of Friends

Tuesday July, 1 1:30 p.m.

"Now what's that scowl for?"  Roshi asked Kit.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking about things."  Kit replied without changing the expression on her face.

"About?"

"About how much you've changed."

Roshi took a step back to rest his back against the bulkhead wall.  "What do you mean?  If this is about not making the promise the way you worded it, I've never liked making a promise I couldn't keep."

Kit shook her head.  "No, it isn't really that even though it is part of the change."

"What change?"

Kit started laughing.  "Ok, I take it back.  You have not changed that much.  You are still a clueless guy.  Don't ever change that.  There is something adorable about you being clueless."

"Right, well I'm going to go over there," Roshi said pointing down the hall, "and leave you to your delusional rambles."

Kit tried to slap him but he ducked out of the way.  "Roshi!"

"Too slow!" Roshi called after her as he slowly started to float down the hall.

"Would you stop being a dork and listen to me?" Kit yelled as she ran after him.

Roshi floated into one of the larger rooms, which had once had many beds for refugees in it.

Kit ran into the room after him and skidded to a stop.

"While the Phoenix is quite famous as far as space-going vessels go, this room is one of the little known treasures in it.  I thought you would want to see it.  I've actually spent some time this week looking for it, since no one would tell me which of the rooms it was."

The room in question was about 20 meters by 10 meters in size.  The room was completely empty.  Within the still rather tight confines of even a large ship like the Phoenix that was remarkable.  However, the most remarkable thing about it was the walls.  Names had been etched into the metal walls of the room.

"How many?"  Kit asked her jaw still slack from awe. 

"234,592."  Roshi replied. "Every single man, woman, and child that my Great-Great-Great Grandfather Yoshu helped pull off Vulpe.  The 29,000 or so that are right in this section," Roshi said as he walked over and pointed to a group of names that were slightly set aside, "were the ones that left on one of the three trips the Phoenix made."

Kit walked over to the wall and held her hand out as though she was afraid to touch it but wanted to get close to the names.  "But why? Why is this here?"

Roshi pointed to a name near the floor over by Kit's feet.  It read: Lus was here.  "From what I have learned about it.  Lus was a little boy about five or so years old and he got crammed in here with a bunch of other people.  I guess his father was an artist and he had a laser etching tool, so the kid wrote his name there."

"Some of the others saw and followed suit as a mark of survival.  They wanted to leave their mark, to show that they had survived.  Well when Yoshu learned about it he encouraged them to all to sign their names in this room in memory."

Kit found a group of names and ran her fingers over them to clear some dust.  "This is my Great-great grandmother.  She was only an infant when the comet hit Vulpe.   Her older sisters and brothers pulled her and her twin brother off with them in the first group to leave.  Her older sister must have etched her name here."

Roshi sighed.  "Kit I know you try.  You try very hard to fit in with the rest of us, but I think there are times you avoid just being who you are.  I was really hoping that your parents would talk some sense into you on Namek and you would stay there with them."

Kit glared at him.  "Mighty big double standard you are holding there Roshi.  Tell me, why is it ok for your mother to let you go risk your life but it isn't ok for my parents?"

Roshi took the defensive.  "I never said that!"

"Yeah but you thought it.  Roshi you are my best friend I can read you like a book.  You found it horribly distasteful that my parents would leave just leave me and go to Namek after I ran off last week."

"Well yeah, I could never imagine my parents doing something like that."

Kit shook her head.  "Roshi first you say I try to fit in but I forget to be myself, but then you judge my parents for being who they are.  Look at this room Roshi.  Less than 500,000 people got off Vulpe after that comet hit.  Even now some five generations later most of my people are still wanderers.  Most of them never have a place to call home.  My parents met on Namek.  He was going one way, she another.  He ended up with one of her bags and returned it to her a few months later.  They hit it off and the rest is well you know the rest.  They don't have any claim to the Earth or anyplace else for that matter."  Kit paused to take a breath and gather her thoughts.  "I told my parents to leave without me.  There is more than you know to everything Roshi."

Roshi walked over and grasped Kit's shoulder.  "I'm sorry, I didn't lead you in here to lord over you or try to make you feel bad.  I just thought you would like to see the room.  You have so few things that actually tie you to your people... I thought this would be something that you would..."

"Oh stop rambling!  I know I have been a prude lately and I am sorry.  I don't like change, and things are changing so fast lately.  A month ago you would have gone along with that promise to come back to Earth for Mariah and you would have just done your best and seen what happened.  Now you are more... more mature I would say."  Kit walked along the wall and ran her fingers over more of the names.  "This room, and showing it to me is so like you Roshi.  You care about people and you try to do your best to make them happy.  But a month ago you didn't get involved when Rock was picking on Mariah and I until the last moment.  You worked so hard to maintain that image of a helpless klutz and to be as invisible as you could be."

Kit turned and looked back at him.  "What makes you who you are hasn't changed, and I hope it never does.  What has changed is how you handle yourself.  You are no longer afraid to be that great guy I've always known you to be.  And I know I need to back down about you and Mariah.  At first I thought it was sweet, and then destiny that the two of you would end up together, but so much has happened.  I still think that when we get back to Earth you can be all the hero Mariah could ever ask for, but right now you need to be Ichigo's hero.  I think it is the least you can do for her having gotten you to show off a bit of your true nature."

"Kit I..."

Kit smiled.  "Thanks, it is nice to know I can still get you dumbstruck from time to time.  I am your friend and I just want to be there for you when you need me.  I think as of late everyone has needed you so badly no one has asked you if you need anything.  So, do you need anything?  Can I help you with anything?"

Roshi smiled.  "Actually yes, see I sorta showed you this room so you could show it to Ichigo.  I know you are almost as bad as Mariah about accepting help and almost as bad at me when it comes to admitting you need help, but I can't help Ichigo or her people if she won't let me.  I was thinking that..."

"That if she hears my story in connection to the story of my people in a location like this room, she might more easily accept your plan to evacuate the people while you guys are fighting the Changelings?"

"Yeah that exactly."

Kit looked around.  "This room gives me the creeps.  There are ghosts in this ship.  But at the same time there is hope etched with these names.  So many died during those times.  But these people didn't let fate take them.  Their names are like a defiant scream that proclaims they will not be killed so easily.  I will show this to her if she lets me."

Roshi smiled.  "Thanks, and I Promise you that I will do everything I can to live through this battle.  Not only for Mariah, but you and all the other people I know.  AND!" Roshi said as he walked up to poke Kit in the stomach, "you are not going to set foot on Saiya, you are going to sit up here and direct the battle and go home if it turns ugly.  I don't understand why your parents left you but I know how close your family is.  I don't need to feel guilty in the afterlife for getting you killed."

Kit shook her head.  "Fine, since you won't drop the subject and you keep prying in it somewhat like some other person I know pries into things that are really not hers to know," Kit said referring to herself, "I will tell you the big secret.  Now, normally my people wait to announce things like this until it is a few more months along, but ah, well you see it is fairly traditional to wait about five years after the first set of kids so they have time to grow a bit before having the next group.  After Maiko died, my parents put off and put off, but no my mom is expecting again.  They have more important things to worry about besides a rebellious teenager that wants to play hero with you guys."

"Oh Kit, that's wonderful news!  And even more reason for you to not risk yourself too much.  Your younger siblings will need an older sister to look out for them."

Kit's ears turned bright red as she blushed.  "Fine then how about this deal?  You can't go get yourself killed, and I won't do anything too stupid."

"Deal."

* * *

After leaving Kit in the room with all the names, Roshi went quickly back to the ships galley.  Max was still cleaning up from dinner and had already started to get stuff out for the evening meal.

"Hey, what's for food tonight?"  Roshi asked as he walked by her and grabbed a cooking tongs.

Max looked up at him suspiciously as he started digging in one of the smaller refrigeration units.  "You just ate no more than half an hour ago, even you cannot possibly be hungry already."

Roshi closed the refrigerator after selecting a couple of steaks and then looked over at her.  "I'm not.  But I happened to notice Ichigo didn't eat much.  If she doesn't start eating she won't be able to fight and then we will have a disaster when we get to Saiya.  So I am going to force her to eat a couple of steaks."

Max leaned back on the sink she was standing at and laughed.  "Roshi, Roshi, Roshi, where did your mother go wrong?"

Roshi lit one of the broilers and put the steaks in it, he closed the lid before turning to look at Max again.  "Huh?"

"I presume you are taking the food to her and not her to the food?"

"Well yeah, she has rather sequestered herself into her cabin so I thought I would take the stuff to her."  He said as he started to chop some lettuce for a salad.

"Roshi you poor boy, girl's like candy and flowers.  I really don't think a few steaks are going to do the trick and if you try to force her to eat it then you lose all the appeal of the whole idea in the first place."

Roshi didn't even look at her.  "I'm not falling for it.  Look you people can make fun of me all you want and yeah your comments would be correct if I were say trying to romance Ichigo.  Ichigo cares about as much for romance as I care for rotten fish to be put in my bed."

Roshi walked back to the Broilers and flipped and seasoned the steaks before going back to the salad.  He started to pour Italian dressing with olive oil on the salad.

"Good gosh Roshi!" Max said as she rushed over to grab the oil dressing from him.  "Olive oil it meant to be lightly dribbled onto a salad not drizzled to the point of drenching.  Are you trying to feed the girl or make her fat?"

Roshi shrugged.  "She cooked back at Pan's place, she said she liked how olive oil tasted.  I just want her to eat it.  Besides, I doubt fat build up or clogged arteries are on the top ten list for things that might kill her right now."

Max looked sick.  "Gah, just get away!  I'll make the food for her.  Watching you cook is painful."

"But I..."

"Roshi you get out of my Galley this instant or I'll feed you nothing but couscous for the rest of the trip!"

Roshi shrugged.  "That isn't to bad when seasoned right."

Max was starting to lose her temper.  "Oh yeah, well then how about grits?  I don't know anyone who would willingly live on corn hash grits!"

Roshi shrugged, "I saw what was packed for provisions.  Grits was not on the list."

Max glared at him.  "Don't tempt me.  I could find a way to make it if I had to grind up a bulkhead to do it.  Or I could just show the girls the recording that Tee and Boxers were so kind to make and then not delete from the ship's computer."

"You... they... oh they are so going to die for this!"

Max grinned evilly, "Not if you get killed first.  Now get!  I'll call you back when it is done."

* * *

Ichigo had just finished putting the diary away when she sensed Roshi approaching her door.  She casually walked over and hit the button to open it before he got close enough to hit the chime.

Roshi's face could not suppress his surprise and for a moment he looked to Ichigo like a warrior that had just been caught in the middle of something he shouldn't have been doing.  "Is something up?"  She asked without moving aside so he could enter her cabin.

"Not really, but we need to talk."  Roshi said as he walked up to stand a meter or so away from her.  "Could be possibly talk in your cabin?"

Even though she had just gotten done writing about how much she was coming to trust Roshi, Ichigo still did not particularly like having people of any type in her private quarters, she never had.  The only reason she had allowed him to invade her space as much as he had when she was living at Pan's was that she knew she could not truly claim the space as her own.  "I would rather we went someplace else.  What do you need to talk about?"

"I don't know and that is why we need to talk."

Ichigo cocked her head to the side slightly and arched an eyebrow.  "You do not know what we will be talking about but you desire to talk?  You do realize that what you said makes no sense.  Talking for the sake of talking is pointless."

Roshi looked like he was at a loss for words, but quickly recovered himself.  "Here," he said as he tossed a small tube of something at her.  "We need to talk because you are practically gnawing a hole in your lip."

Ichigo realized with a start that she was biting her lip while he spoke.  She stopped and then looked at what he had tossed her.  "Lip balm?"

"You need it.  So would you like to tell me what's been bothering you this week?"

Ichigo ground her teeth for a moment before she waved him into her room.  "Fine, I do not understand why you care, but since I doubt you will just go away if I say no."

Roshi smiled, "good, I also brought you some extra food.  I saw you didn't eat much at the noon meal, and all things considered if you are not eating you will not be in the best of shape for fighting Changelings."

'How dare you harangue me?'  She thought for a moment as she glared at him.

Roshi casually sat down in the chair at her desk and swiveled around to face her.  "I know you hate it when I pressure you, but you are eating a hole in your lip and then not eating during meals.  Obviously something is worrying you and I hate it when I see any of my friends troubled in such a manner."

If Ichigo had not already been starting to sit down on her bed she probably would have fallen as her knees suddenly went weak.  "You think of me as a... friend?"

Roshi shrugged, "Yes, I mean you started out an adversary, but now I guess, yeah, friend is about the only way to describe you.  You are a lot more then just an acquaintance you know.  Why, don't you think of me as a friend?"

The question was vexing for Ichigo.  "I do not know.  I... I guess you are a friend, why you are a friend is still puzzling to me but I can freely call you a friend."

Roshi cocked an eyebrow at her and scratched his head as though he were confused.  "Well good.  Then were friends.  Now here eat this.  I don't want you getting sick from not eating."

* * *

Roshi handed her the capsule Max had put the food into and she glared at it.  Roshi realized immediately the error he had made.  Ichigo did not respond to demands well.  "Please."

Ichigo's large blue-gray eyes looked up to peer into him.  "Why?"

"Why?  I would think it would be obvious, if you don't eat..."

"No!  Not that!  Not like that is possible anyhow with all the snack food you have shoved into any available nook and cranny in this room."  Ichigo said cutting him off.  "Why do you notice everything?  Why do you go out of your way to help me?  Why?  Just why to everything!"

Roshi didn't know how to reply.  "I don't know.  Just open that capsule and eat and maybe I will come up with something."

Ichigo glowered at him.  "And you say I am hard to get information out of.  Asking you questions is an effort in futility."  She said as she clicked the capsule and tossed it on the floor in front of her.

The smoke from the capsule slowly cleared.  The sight that greeted his eyes was one that almost stopped Roshi's heart.  Max had replaced the steak he had been cooking with a large plate of noodles and sauce with the steaks thin sliced and artfully arranged on top.  The salad had been replaced a large Caesar salad.  These things were fine.  What almost killed him were the two self lighting candles, the crystal wine decanter with what looked like red wine, the large slice of cake shaped like a heart and several napkins folded to look like roses.  To make matters worse there were matching place settings on the opposite side of the table from where Ichigo now sat on her bed.

A very large sweat drop formed and landed on the floor slightly before Roshi, who had fallen out of his chair.

Ichigo very calmly blinked a few times and then leaned over to look past the table and at him.  "Given your reaction to this I am guessing this is not a plan to seduce me?"

'Oh, nothing good can come of this.'  Roshi panicked, 'why isn't she trying to kill me now?  She seems to find this funny.  Oh this is bad.  This is very, very bad.'  Roshi thought while his mouth tried in vain to find words.  "Ka seduce you?"  He finally coughed out.

Ichigo gave him a wry grin.  "Let me guess, Max did the cooking?"

"Yes, she kicked me out of the galley."  Roshi said feeling very stupid for not checking to see what was in the capsule before he gave it to Ichigo.

"Oh, alright then."  Ichigo said before she started to eat.  "This is good.  Remind me to kill Max after we free Saiya."

Roshi stood up slowly. 'She's going to kill me.  I know it.  Mauled by a bear I told myself, but no!'  Roshi walked over to get closer to her.  "Ah, excuse he something I need to check."  He said as he reached out for her forehead. 

Ichigo shrunk back and slapped his hand away.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to see if you have a fever or are otherwise sick.  You are not acting like the Ichigo I know.  Are you sure you are alright?"

Ichigo laughed.  "Cannot talk now, eating."

'This is not Ichigo.  Ichigo is always so dead serious.'  Roshi was at a loss.  "And now you are just teasing me!  Don't tell me you were in on this?!?"

Ichigo held up a hand.  "Eating."

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo glanced up at him incredulously and smirked.  "You wanted me to eat, do not complain now."

Roshi could do nothing but wait for her to finish off not only the plate that had been prepared for her, but also the other one, both salads and one slice of cake.

He got the distinct impression that she was taking great enjoyment out of delaying the conversation as long as she possibly could.

"Are you done yet?"

Ichigo finally put the silverware down and hit the button that re-encapsulate the table.  "Yes, I think so.  You know you get quite impatient when you are not getting your way."

Roshi felt the need to lean closer to her.  "Are you sure you are Ichigo, cause you are not acting like the Ichigo I know."

She hit him.

Roshi fell back and slammed into the door.  "Ok, that's the Ichigo I know."

Ichigo glared at him and then started laughing.  "Are you calling me a bitch?  Cause if you are I might just have to kill you."

"Oh perish that thought.  What has gotten into you today?  When I saw what Max had done I half expected to be booted out your window and into the depths of space."

Ichigo smirked.  "Actually that was my first thought when I saw it.  But then I saw your face and you were completely white.  You were horrified, no you were terrified and it was all I could do to not burst out laughing."

"Oh, so um... what about the seduce you bit?  Where did you get that idea from?"

Ichigo rolled her eyes.  "Oh that?  The other night I found Slip and Max swooning over this horrid movie that seemed to be one endless scene of sappy mush followed by the other.  There was once scene when the woman in the movie was given a bunch of flowers and jewelry and she replied:  Oh!  You are trying to seduce me!"  Ichigo said the line from the movie with a breathy voice as she threw her head back and put one hand over her heart and the other to her forehead.  "That movie was insulting.  The women in it were bought by trinkets and sweet nothings."

Roshi started laughing.

Ichigo instantly went from the calm girl she had been acting like to the poised princess she normally was.  "What?  What is so funny?"

"You are."  Roshi held up his hands to stop her from speaking.  "Let me guess, Slip and Max were making comments like: I wouldn't mind being seduced by guys like him or something equally girly."

Ichigo blinked.  "Well yes, Max actually said..."

"It isn't important," Roshi cut her off, "but I know girls who's hearts have been bought and sold for trinkets and sweet nothings.  You on the other hand seem to care nothing for romance what so ever.  You are so completely different from the image you portrayed when you acted that line from the movie it was funny."

Ichigo scoffed, "to each their own, but I cannot picture anyone I know acting as despicable as the women from that movie.  Trinkets and sweet nothings are hardly romantic."

'Ok, if jewelry and flowers are not romantic what is?'  Roshi thought to himself.  Curiosity overrode common sense, "Ah, Ichigo, I know this is prying, but just what do you find romantic?"

Ichigo looked taken back for a few moments.  She sucked on her lip for a second and then looked back up.  "I do not know.  No one has ever tried, not as if it is important."

A sadness took hold in Roshi.  "That is really sad.  In many ways I pity you."

Ichigo was immediately defensive.  "Pity me?  I do not need or want your pity!"

"I know, I am sorry, but you talk as though you distain love, and romance means nothing.  Have you been that hurt in your past?  Are you that afraid to trust?  What about when you do get married?  With no love and no romance and nothing to build on are you just going to go threw with some arranged marriage out of duty?

More than just pain or anger burned in her eyes as she stood to glare at him.  "You have no..."  She closed her eyes and collected herself.  "This conversation is over, you are out of your place and I refuse to indulge you any longer.  Leave."

"Ichigo I..."

"You claim to be my friend and then you worm your way in so you can mock me and question things you know nothing about!"

'Yes indeed, Roshi you are an idiot.'  He told himself.  'Why don't I just shove a dagger into her heart and twist it while I am at it?  What was I thinking?  I knew she was sensitive to that topic.'  Roshi backed up.  "Ichigo I am your friend.  You can let me in.  I wasn't mocking you, I truly wasn't.  And yes I know nothing about such things, but help me learn."

"Get out!"

"No.  I won't leave.  You cannot keep running from you pain and you cannot keep forcing people away."

"You ingrate!  I am not running from anything!"

"Then tell me about it damn it!  I came here to see what was bothering you.  I thought I could help you but I can't help if you won't let me.  Please Ichigo put this aside for a moment.  I was wrong to question you on it.  But you are worrying yourself sick over something.  Please, tell me what is bothering you so I can help!"

"You!  You are bothering me. You are always bothering me!"

"Me?  Don't go skirting the issue by claim..."

"You! Shut up for once!  You drive me insane.  What do you want?  Seriously, every man I have ever known wants something.  The only thing you seem to want is answers to ridiculous questions.  You would not tell me earlier so perhaps you will now.  What do you want?  Why are you doing what you are doing? What do you get out of it?"

It took Roshi back a bit to be asked virtually the same question twice in one day.  "You think I want some sort of payment for helping you?"  Roshi asked in disbelief.

"Oh so you act offended by the thought!"  Ichigo yelled at him.  "Never mind that it is the logical way every other person in existence operates.  But you!  You do not seem to want anything!  Why are you doing this?  What is it you want?"

Roshi sat down.  "I... I don't know."

"What do you mean you do not know?"

"I mean I do not know.  Ichigo, I have everything.  I have a good family.  I have more money than I know what to do with.  I can make or buy anything I want.  What can someone who has everything want?  I guess I could tell you about my dreams and goals in life but that isn't anything you can really give me so it is not important."

Ichigo sat down on her bed and thought for a few minutes.  "There is a saying on your world, simple goodness of the heart.  Are you saying that you are risking your life for me out of the simple goodness of your heart?  You truly do not want anything in return?  I cannot accept that.  Everyone wants something in return for what they do.  Where is the return in this for you?  What do you get out of it?"

Roshi looked up at her.  "You are right.  There is something in this for me, but it isn't something I want from you.  It is something I want to prove to myself."

Ichigo looked at him inquisitively.  "What?"

"The answer to a dream unfulfilled."

Ichigo scowled.  "Stop talking like one of your poets and tell me what you mean."

Roshi put his head down on his hands and thought for a moment.  "You have read those journals and diaries.  You have read the dreams and the stories and the hopes of my ancestors.  I grew up to those stories.  I memorized every single one of them.  That poem I put in that letter I sent you was written by Gohan.  Videl framed it.  It hangs in my house.  It is the only part of those diaries I know of that isn't in the diaries or journals."

Roshi looked into her eyes as he spoke.  "I grew up to the stories of heroes.  I know you claim to not believe in them, but I do.  I have always wondered how I would act had I been there to fight Cell, or been on Namek when Frieza was there.  In a way, I have always wanted to be a hero.  I have always had this need to test myself against, and overcome adversity."

Ichigo blinked.  "You long for the battle."

Roshi waved the comment away with his hand.  "Yes, but no.  If I never had to fight anyone again I would be happy.  It isn't the fight or the battle that I want.  It is the... the knowledge that I made someone's life better.  That I did something important and worthy of notice."

Ichigo flopped backwards onto her bed and started to rub her temples.  "You are a contradiction.  You are an impossibility."  She mumbled.

"Huh?"

Ichigo shot bolt upright and looked at him wide eyed.  "You speak of matters of the soul, of pride and honor and yet you do not seem to understand how important pride is.  You shun the glory that naturally comes with pride yet you hope to prove to yourself everything that involves pride!"

"You lost me there."

Ichigo reached up with both hands and grabbed fist-fulls of her own hair.  "You have got to be the most flustering person in the universe.  So you are coming to Saiya and helping me to prove to yourself that you are as good as your ancestors?  Or just that you are able?  How deep does this desire go?"

Roshi shook his head.  "Oh no, I will never be the equal of the likes of Goku and Gohan, or even Vegeta for that matter.  I don't want to be.  I just want to be able to look back at myself as an old man and say that I made a difference.  I made the world better."

Silence filled the room for several minutes.  "Amazing."  Ichigo suddenly said in awe.  "You are so humble, so selfless and I could not understand.  Now I do and it shames me once again.  You desire battle, and pride and everything that makes you a Saiyan, but you do not wish to better yourself by it or even better your family name, you wish to better everyone."  Ichigo looked up at him again.  "Is that all you want?  Surely there is something you want for yourself?"

Roshi wanted to ask why she thought it shamed her once again.  He was finding that no matter what he did she found a reason to be ashamed by it.  He shrugged, "I want to be left alone.  I hate how people like Ima only wish to use me to better themselves.  I am not a tool.  I guess in the long run I want to be able to just live my life without lies, without a veneer protecting me.  I want to be able to love someone and protect her from all the bad things in the world.  I don't want much, you know, just impossible dreams."

Ichigo had nothing to say to that.  She just sat and thought in contemplation for a while.

"What about you?  What do you want?"  Roshi asked.

Ichigo looked up at him and scoffed.  "At least what you want can mostly happen.  The things I want are truly impossible dreams.  Childish fantasies that can never and will never be."

Rosh felt a rush of sympathy for her.  "Ichigo, sometimes the impossible dreams are the only ones worth fighting for."

She looked up at him with sad eyes deep in thought.  "No amount of fighting will make Suikan come back.  No amount of fighting will make it as though Blizzard had never come.  No amount of fighting will ever truly convince the bigots that I am...  This is pointless."

Roshi stood up and took a step towards her.  "Ichigo, give me your hand."  He said as he reached out to her with his right hand.

Ichigo recoiled in shock as if she had been suddenly slapped.  "Roshi! I... no!"

Roshi took a bewildered step back.  "Ok, would you please stand up?  I have something I need to tell you."

Ichigo blanched. "Roshi, I... you do not understand."

"Obviously I don't."  Roshi said exasperatedly. "Fine then," he said as she walked over grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet.  'She's stiff as a rock.  Why is she suddenly panicking over this?'

"Ichigo, I want to be your friend, and I know you do not want to talk about the things that have hurt you in the past, but you need to.  You need to let them go.  Those things are impossible dreams, but you have other dreams.  Like freeing your people from the Changelings.  Like proving yourself to your people.  I don't understand your customs, so I don't understand why you are so sure they will reject you."

Roshi turned around and walked towards the door as he continued to speak.  "You talk about pride being so important.  You say that pride is proving to oneself that you are capable.  In that you are right, I have and I want to have more pride, but where is your pride?  Where is your belief in yourself?"

Ichigo looked like she was going to say something but he shushed her.  "Ichigo you have so much to be proud of.  You adapted fast and learned so much so fast.  You are an able fighter and you should not fear anyone's judgment on that."

"In the end, it does not matter what you prove to your people.  You need to prove it to yourself.  Ichigo you are a wonderful person.  I saw how you bonded instantly with Nighty.  You are kind and intelligent and as you just showed while you were eating you have a good sense of humor.  Look to the future and let the past go.  You cannot change it.  You cannot keep the pain in forever.  It will only consume you."

"Roshi you..."

"Perception is a matter of choice Ichigo.  Choose to prevail and you will.  Nothing will, nothing can stand in your way."

"Easy for you to say!"  Ichigo suddenly burst out, "you have already obtained the one fantastic dream that every Saiyan has.  If I am to believe Slip then that is just one more impossible dream."

Roshi grimaced.  "Don't.  Don't believe Slip for a second.  You have it in you.  I tell you honestly that I hope you never have to experience the pain that will make it happen.  You have already had far too much pain in your life, but you have it in you.  I know you do.  And even while I hope you never experience the pain, if you do, I hope I am there to witness it because you will shine.  Believe in yourself Ichigo.  The only things that hold you back are in here and in here." 

Ichigo had folded her arms over her chest so Roshi walked up and tapped her in the middle of the forehead and the middle of her arm, directly over her heart.  Ichigo couldn't help flinching back at the sudden contact.

"Ichigo you have to believe in yourself.  You have what it takes.  You can't be afraid to be yourself.  You are such a wonderful beautiful person to know.  I cannot grasp why you can be so afraid to be yourself."

"Beauty!"  Ichigo practically spat the word.  "No one truly cares about beauty."

Roshi just shook his head. 'Well if I tell her what I actually think will I live long enough to finish?'  Roshi thought as he collected his thoughts.

"Ok, maybe beauty is the wrong word.  Maybe poise is better.  You have it regardless of which word I use.  When you walk into a room people notice you.  You have presence.  Don't tell me that it is unimportant.  You have no idea how much Slip actually envies you because of it."

Ichigo opened her mouth to speak but he held up his hand again.

"You have poise and presence and more.  Ichigo when you smile.  When you truly smile like you were when you were making fun of me earlier there is power to it.  It is like the first tulip in the spring. There is a simple grace and delicate wonder to it.  Yet in all that there is more, because you know that it is just the first, you know that spring will complete the thaw and summer will come and the rest of the flowers will bloom to their full beauty.  I look at you when you smile and it almost takes my breath away.  I see the frightened Princess who is afraid to trust melt away and for a moment, for a infinitesimal moment I see you for who you are and the sight is marvelous to behold."

"You have it in you Ichigo.  Let yourself look forward not backward.  Put the pain behind you and smile at the promise of the future.  If you would only believe nothing would stand in your way."

Ichigo blinked tears out of her eyes.  "You... You...  I have to go."  She said as she suddenly pushed her way past him and ran out into the hall.

Roshi was left standing alone in her cabin.  He looked around confused by her sudden departure.  "What did I do this time?"  He wondered aloud.

* * *

Wow, I seem to be continuing to put back the planning meeting… ;)

Don't worry It will be in the next chapter.. (I hope)

Anyway  Thanks for reading and please review.

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The Smooster