A huge bunch of thanks to those who have reviewed! I'm hoping this story becomes a bit more popular as I post new chapters...be sure to tell all your friends about it! (

Silver tear: As my first reviewer, you deserve an extra dose of gratitude! I'm glad you like my story.

Idril.tinuviel – I'm glad you like it so far. Harry and Severus' relationship will develop gradually. I don't like rushing things because such fics strike me as very far-fetched.

Cassa-Andra – *blush* I'm so flattered! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Cat Samwise – Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest as well.

Demon – Heh, as my non-cooperative beta, it's safe to say you'll be reading it all in the near future!

REW – Here's more! Hope you like it!

Sarina – I'm with you on both counts. Try reading my first story, Homecoming. It also features a post-Hogwarts Harry and Sev pairing.

Reviews are so important when writing a lengthy fic! I'd appreciate it if all those who read this would share their opinions (criticism is just as important)! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later found Harry tumbling out of his four-poster bed in the master bedroom at Grimmauld Place, rubbing his eyes after a night of tossing and turning, topped off by a series of hellish nightmares. This routine had become the young wizard's habitual nocturnal pattern of late.

A full fortnight had passed since his return to the house he'd inherited from his godfather, during which he'd occupied himself with little other than trying to rest, reading Quidditch magazines, and enjoying an occasional meal with Ron, Hermione, and their families.

As he dressed while contemplating ways to spend his day, his eyes wandered to the desk near his bed, where he noticed the half finished letter he'd begun composing just before turning in, the night before.

The letter had fled his mind until that very moment so he sat down to reread the product of his fatigue.

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Dear Severus,

I hope this letter finds you well.

During our last encounter, I forgot to ask where and how you planned to spend your summer. I hope you will forgive my lack of manners, but to my defense, I was brought up by brute-muggles. (hehehe)

So I hope you are enjoying yourself, wherever you may be.

I have been back here, at Grimmauld Place since I left Hogwarts. It feels so strange to live in this house without Sirius and Remus, not to mention that it no longer serves as the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very pleased that there is no longer a need for such headquarters, but living in this house brings back so many memories of the past. It's just difficult to be here, I guess.

I don't know, maybe I should just pack up and leave. What do you think? Where would I go? Does a place where the name Harry Potter wouldn't ring any bells even exist?

My mind feels numb. I can't think, I can't make plans. It takes me half the day just to figure out what to cook for dinner, can you believe it?

I guess your constant remarks about my minimal cognitive abilities were right on the mark!

After all, I decided to take this time off to think, clear my head, and decide who I am and what I want out of life, but so far all I've been doing is sulking.

I hate sulking.

You hate it when I sulk. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* * * *

* Merlin's beard! I sound like a depressed teenager! * Harry thought to himself. * I can't send him such a pathetic letter. He'd change his mind about owling with me in a second! *

But instead of starting the letter from scratch, Harry decided to continue from where he left off. He felt being completely honest with Severus about his current state of mind was the best thing to do, even if it meant coming off a bit childish, at first. Perhaps Severus would appreciate it more if he knew Harry was aware of his shortcomings and was battling them directly.

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I'm sorry. I just reread the letter and must admit I am very unhappy with it, so far.

I don't want to continue feeling sorry for myself. I need to start focusing on productive ways to move forward, rather than wrestle with my past demons. I know perfectly well that fixating on the past will only lead to my self-destruction, but lately that's all I seem to be doing. The past creeps up on me whenever I am alone, which is most of the time.

I have a feeling you know what I'm talking about, don't you, Severus?

It is our teachers' responsibility to guide and direct us, isn't it? Will you agree to resume the role of my teacher for this purpose? Will you answer the questions that might help bring me some peace?

How do I make the images disappear? How do I close my eyes at night without hearing the screams of the victims, the shrilling laughter of a madman? How do I continue believing in myself while constantly being reminded of the dreadful crimes I've committed in the name of the Light?

I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm sulking and feeling sorry for myself. It should please you to know I'm smacking myself for it!

I'll let you in on a little secret. Remember how I said I wanted to start over as 'Just Harry'? Well, Hermione reckons the first step to achieving a complete identity makeover would be to get a physical one. We're going clothes shopping followed by an appointment at the hairdressers tomorrow.

Who knows, maybe the next time you see me I won't look like the boy-who- lived anymore! Wouldn't that be a relief!!!

I guess that's it for now. I don't want to take up too much of your time with my endless rambling. I hope this letter won't make you change your mind about owling me.

I would be honored if you were to write me back. Even if it's just to tell me you are well and that I'm still a dunderhead.

Sincerely,

Just Harry

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Harry folded the parchment, attached it to Hedwig's leg and sent her off in search of Severus Snape. He wondered if he'd hear back from Severus. He really hoped he would.

The next morning Harry and Hermione met at The Leaky Cauldron, bright and early. Hermione had made up a list of shops in Muggle London and in Diagon Ally that they were to visit throughout the day; complete with a timetable stating how much time they could spend in each shop. Harry rolled his eyes playfully and teased his friend about her knack for turning even a simple shopping spree into well-organized mission.

Their first stop was Kings Road, in Muggle London. Harry had decided he wanted to own several elegant clothing articles, so Hermione led him to some of the posh shops in the area. The young witch and wizard spent several hours browsing and shopping so that by lunchtime they found themselves heading back towards Diagon Ally with a dozen shrunken bags carrying the new clothes Harry had picked out.

They decided they had enough time to stop for lunch at "Magical Meals", a new diner that had recently opened in Diagon Ally, before heading off to Madam Malkin's for some new robes. Harry's appointment at "Lloyd's Lovely Locks" wasn't until 3:30 PM, so they still had about two hours to spare.

Over lunch Hermione broached he subject of dating. It seems she'd met an interesting wizard named Jason the week before, during her orientation day at Cambridge University. Harry was thrilled by his friend's excitement as she told him all about her new love interest. Jason was about to start his second year at Cambridge, in the Advanced Spell Breaking program. He was handsome, kind, and funny, according to Hermione. The two had been owling twice a day, over the past week, and were supposed to meet for dinner that very evening.

"What about you?" Hermione asked with a glimmer in her eyes, as she finally stopped gushing about Jason.

Harry winced and twiddled the straw in his soft drink. "No thanks. I'd rather find myself before finding someone else to worry about".

"Oh Harry," the brown-eyed witch sighed. "I wish you'd just lighten up a bit! You're such a wonderful guy. I hate seeing you so broody".

Harry chuckled at hearing his friend's gentle reprimand. "I know you mean well, 'Mione, but I'm so screwed up at the moment that I'd be way too much hassle for anyone to bother with.

Besides," he added wistfully, "there are only three people in the world who really understand me. And two of them are off-limits".

Hermione gave him a sad but genuine smile "You're talking about Professor Snape, aren't you?"

"I know it probably sounds odd, but he's the only one who's been through it. He's the only one who knows how shitty it feels".

Hermione placed her hand on Harry's in a comforting way and spoke softly,

"I wish I could help you, Harry. You know I'd do anything to make it all better. What you need is someone to talk to, someone to confide in. Ron and I love you dearly, but sometimes even your closest friends can't really grasp all the emotions you must be dealing with.

If Professor Snape is the one you need to get through this, I have no qualms with that. The only thing that matters is that you find a way to heal."

Harry put his arm around his best friend, kissed her cheek, and thanked her.

After their emotional heart-to-heart, the pair left the diner and made their way to Madam Malkin's.

Harry decided to splurge on custom made midnight blue silk robes, with delicate silver trimming on the edge. Hermione ogled her handsome friend appreciatively as he tried on different styles, before choosing his favorite. He ordered a tight-fitted robe that wrapped around his broad chest snugly and fell gracefully to his ankles. He also bought several simpler, casual robes in a variety of colors, and they headed off to the hairdressers.

Lloyd's Lovely Locks happened to be the hottest salon in Diagon Ally, or so Hermione claimed. She'd never admit this to Harry, but the only reason they managed to squeeze the pair of them in on such short notice (she'd booked the appointment as soon as they left Hogwarts) is that she explained the appointment was being made for a Mr. Harry James Potter, aka savior of the Wizarding world.

Harry was accustomed to the VIP treatment he received at Lovely Locks, but he discreetly asked Lloyd to refrain from referring to him as Mr. Potter so as not to attract an even bigger crowd than they already had.

The two friends were treated immediately upon their arrival and within 90 minutes they found themselves staring at one another in surprise. Hermione had decided to get her bushy brown curls cut stylishly, for once. She wanted to make a good impression on Jason, so she opted for a mid-neck length cut with golden highlights and uneven bangs.

The new look suited her and Harry couldn't help but be impressed by his friend's transformation from a bookish goody-two-shoes to a sophisticated and very pretty witch!

Harry, on the other hand, got his hair cut short. He agreed with Lloyd, who claimed his unmanageable hair would never cooperate, so unless he was willing to spend about 30 minutes each morning styling his hair, his best bet was to get a very short yet trendy cut that wouldn't enable his hair to misbehave.

Harry's new look was very sleek and elegant. His short black hair framed his oval shaped face nicely and complemented his skin tone.

As the happy pair left the salon, Harry turned to Hermione and said:

"The only things left are my glasses and this damn scar. What are we going to do about them?"

The pretty witch concentrated for a moment before offering her reply:

"Regarding your glasses, you've got several options, Harry. The first is to replace them with a nicer, smaller, more distinguished pair. Mind you, most people would still recognize you with a different pair of glasses.

The second option is to get fitted for magical contact lenses. I've heard wonderful things about them and you can leave them in for up to a year.

Lastly, you could go to an Opto-Wizard and get your eyesight magically enhanced. It's a relatively new procedure so there aren't quite enough studies to show its long term effects, but I know several wizards and witches who've had it done and are quite pleased".

The young witch paused for a moment, furrowed her brow in concentration, and added, "as for the scar we know from your past experimentations that it is immune to magic and therefore cannot be hidden by a glamour charm, but what about Muggle solutions? You've never thought of trying them out, have you?" she inquired.

Harry shook his head.

"You could cover it up using make up, but that might be a bit inconvenient, since make up fades and you'd have to reapply it every single day. But there might be a better way...Have you ever considered getting it surgically removed?"

"You mean plastic surgery?" Harry seemed shocked by the idea.

"It's perfectly acceptable to remove scars surgically, in the Muggle world, Harry" Hermione reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess" Harry mumbled. "I'll think about it", he added quietly.

Harry decided to go with the magical contact lenses, for now, and decide on what to do with his scar later. They stopped at "Your Inner and Outer Eye" before heading home.

That evening, as Harry was organizing his newly acquired clothes in his wardrobe, he heard a faint knock on his bedroom window. He opened the window to allow in a beautiful spectacled owl that extended its foot for Harry to grab the letter attached.

The young wizard eyed the letter hopefully, wondering if there was a chance that Severus had actually replied this quickly. He chastised himself for allowing his hopes to rise, and opened he letter cautiously, while eyeing the unfamiliar owl.

He couldn't help but grin as he noticed the neat calligraphic handwriting of his former Potions Master.

TBC

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