Thanks to all those who have reviewed!
As anyone who's ever posted a story here knows, having your story reviewed is the best feeling in the world. I am very grateful to all those who have reviewed so far. I hope you'll continue doing so…
It's so easy to lose momentum and motivation when writing a lengthy fic.
A huge bunch of thanks to: REW, Cassa-Andra, lillinfields, Cloudburst2000, Ruth, Fuzzy-Bumpkins, Lady Darkness13, Silver tear.
idril.tinuviel: Don't worry, Harry isn't so sure about getting rid of his scar, either. As for the letters, they are just the first stage of interaction between Harry and Severus. There's lots more to look forward to! In regard to the cliffhanger, I didn't realize I'd done it until I got your review! Sorry!
Corgi1: Thank you so much for reviewing. You are definitely one of my favorite writers so it really is an honor. I plan to allow them to get to know one another better before jumping into bed (though that sounds awfully enticing too, hehehe). I hope I don't end up rushing things. Your constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.
MustIBeAMalfoy: Thanks for the tip on italics and bold fonts! And I'm honored you've added me to your favorites!
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Starting Over
Chapter 5:
Dear Harry,
Seven years of grading your abysmal Potions essays have made me accustomed to your, for lack of a better word, unrefined writing style.
Keeping that in mind, the dreadfully erratic sentence structure displayed in your letter intermixed with the myriad of topics addressed, clearly indicates that you are in dire need of direction.
Your conscience seems to be battling waves of guilt, self-pity, and confusion while simultaneously berating you for being affected by your past.
Mr. Potter, such behavior is certain to provide you with some insight as to how a Muggle punching bag must feel.
Succumbing to self-pity is one thing, whereas acknowledging it as a legitimate, albeit destructive human reaction is quite another.
Indeed you were correct in your assumption that I dislike the childish pastime known as sulking, however the way to overcome your demons, as you so aptly named them, is not by burying them so deep that they cannot be retrieved.
As you may have guessed, this is precisely the method I employed during my younger years to assuage the guilt and disgust brought forth by my actions as a Death Eater.
I will allow you to deduct your own conclusions from my personal admission.
Suffice it to say that those who care about you would, undoubtedly, be disappointed if you were to choose to follow the path of a social pariah such as your former Potions Professor.
Your entire life has been carefully shaped and molded by strong authority figures, who wronged you by dictating your beliefs, choices, and goals in life. In doing so, they robbed you of your abilities to observe the world in which you live and draw your own conclusions.
Unlike your schoolmates, whose insignificance to the 'cause' enabled them the liberty to define their character by embracing that which appealed to them while discarding of the rest, you were never afforded such a luxury.
One might say you've grown into a hollow shell of the person you have the potential to be.
Regardless of what you may believe, my intention in saying this is not to spite you. On the contrary, over the years of our acquaintance I have repeatedly attempted to crack the pristine world view Albus and the others tried to impart on you. That which you misconstrued as hatred was merely my way of teaching you how to think for yourself.
Perhaps it seemed cruel and unfair at the time, but if you are asking for my advice now, I dare say it must have been somewhat successful.
My suggestion to you, Harry, is to immerse yourself in introspection and face those demons, which inhibit your personal growth. If you feel the need to do so on neutral ground, by all means, leave, travel, explore! Sever the debilitating childhood connections, which inhibit you from evolving into the man you can become.
As for Ms. Granger's physical amendments to your person, they are but cosmetic. Do not be fooled into believing a new haircut will whitewash your soul.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape
* * * * * * * *
Harry reread the letter 3 times to make sure he understood Snape's advice properly.
Snape was almost nice, in the letter. He didn't put Harry down, nor did he chastise him for being a self-indulgent brat. Instead he confided in Harry about his own emotions. He may not have outright apologized for the way he'd treated Harry at school, but he damn well felt the need to justify his behavior. This was quite perplexing for Harry, as he truly believed Snape had had it in for him because of some childish grudge against his father or inter-house rivalry.
*And to think, all this time he was the one trying to get through to me! He was the one being brutally honest, rather than sugarcoating the situation and scheming behind my back, like a certain headmaster I recall * Harry reasoned.
His recently discovered respect and admiration for Snape continued to rise.
*It's strange that I can speak to him so openly about my fears and insecurities. I rarely even discuss such things with Ron and Hermione, unless they force the subject*
Harry was lost in his thoughts as the flames in the fireplace began to rustle. Suddenly Ron's mop of red hair appeared in the flames as Ron's eyes searched the room for his friend.
Harry awoke from his daze and rushed towards the fire.
"Hey Ron, what's up?" He asked, flashing the wizard a smile.
"Oh there you are. Mum wants to know if you'd like to pop in for dinner, tomorrow evening, mate" Ron replied.
Harry accepted the invitation automatically and continued conversing with his friend for a while. They discussed Ron's upcoming Auror training, his deepening relationship with Susie, and how tired he was of living with his parents and siblings.
Harry thought he might have been hinting at receiving an invitation to stay at Grimmauld Place, but since he wasn't sure how long he'd be staying, he pretended not to catch his mate's drift.
When the firecall ended, Harry decided to call it a night.
Just before crawling underneath the warm covers, he picked up Severus Snape's letter, folded it neatly and placed it under his pillow.
* * * * * * * *
Harry spent the next day thinking over the remaining steps needed in order to leave celebrity behind him. There was his famous scar of course. He'd yet to consider the options Hermione had recently offered him.
As attractive as the idea of getting the lightening bolt shaped scar permanently removed was, something still held him back. It's true that the scar represented his link to Voldemort and his role as Champion of the Light, but it also symbolized his bond with his mother who had died while shielding him with her own body. The scar was a symbol of her love and devotion, and that wasn't something he could readily dispose of.
He decided to go with Muggle make-up, for the time being. That way he could put off making a decision regarding cosmetic surgery until he felt ready.
Another idea had been nagging at him lately. If he truly wanted to sever his connection to the "Harry Potter" celebrity persona, a wise move might be to legally change his name. After all, he recalled a famous Muggle playwright that once wrote:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet"*
He'd already chosen a new name to go by, which would maintain has familial link to his parents, whom he did not wish to disrespect.
It was a good thing he was having dinner at the Weasleys tonight. He was certain Arthur Weasley could help him change his name legally at the Ministry while keeping the whole thing under wraps.
Once he'd get that out of the way, he'd decide what to do with Number 12 Grimmauld Place, and where to go from here.
* * * * * * * *
It was 7 pm when Harry apparated to the Burrow, carrying a bottle of Ogden's for his hosts. The vivacious Weasley clan could be heard talking and laughing before he even entered the house. This brought on the usual twinge of envy that Harry would try to fight back, whenever he witnessed the warmth and safety radiating from the close-knit family he'd never had.
Harry scolded himself for being a prat and knocked on the front door. Within seconds Ginny swung the door open, smiling warmly at Harry and asking him to enter. The young witch had grown into a beautiful young woman with long auburn hair and deeply expressive eyes. She gave Harry a sisterly peck on the cheek as he sauntered into the room.
The rest of the Weasleys present greeted him with hugs or amicable pats on the back, while saying how great it was to see him again.
Harry couldn't help but smile at his surrogate family who offered him so much love and kindness without expecting a thing in return.
Harry offered Molly Weasley the bottle of firewhiskey and joined the rest of the family at the dinner table. The meal was delicious, as always, and Harry enjoyed himself a great deal. There was nothing like spending an evening with the boisterous Weasley family to brighten up his mood.
After dinner, Harry asked Ron and Arthur if he could have a private word with them in Arthur's den. The father and son led the way and cast a silencing charm around the room once the door was closed. They got the impression Harry wanted to discuss something personal with them, so privacy would be appreciated.
Arthur Weasley's den resembled a Muggle artifact storage room kept in constant disarray. Model ships and airplanes alongside a large globe adorned the wooden desk that stood against the wall. Bits and pieces of a disassembled computer lay on a rectangular table in the center of the room. Several Muggle board games were lying around on the floor next to a rather impressive collection of batteries in different shapes and sizes. An old bicycle with flat tires stood upside down behind the table and several kitchen appliances were scattered around.
Harry squeezed himself between the bicycle and the microwave, and sat down on a large beanbag. Ron leaned to rest against the table holding the computer, and Arthur sat on the swivel chair behind the wooden desk.
"So what's up, mate?" Ron asked curiously.
"Ron, Mr. Weasley, I was hoping you two might be able to help me with a bureaucratic procedure I need taken care of with the Ministry of Magic." Harry replied.
Arthur swiveled playfully on his chair, barely containing his childlike excitement at the wondrous contraption, as he faced Harry.
"What procedure are we talking about here, Harry?"
The dark haired wizard glanced at Mr. Weasley and replied in a neutral tone:
"I've decided to officially change my name."
Ron gasped and Mr. Weasley shook his head and tutted disapprovingly.
"That's quite a drastic measure, Harry. Why would you want to do such a thing?" Mr. Weasley implored.
"I've given this plenty of thought, Sir, and I feel it's the right thing to do. I'm sick and tired of the baggage that goes along with being Harry Potter. I want to start over with a brand new name that no one will recognize."
"I guess that's also why you cut your hair so short?" Ron inquired.
Harry nodded and turned to face his friend.
"'Mione gave me a makeover. She understands that I need the freedom to be whomever I choose, with no strings attached to the Harry Potter icon people want to see."
Harry turned back to Mr. Weasley and continued:
"I feel as if I'm trapped inside a marionette, with Professor Dumbledore, Voldemort, Minister Fudge, and a few others holding the strings. Well, Voldemort is gone now and Professor Dumbledore no longer controls my life. All I am asking for is a fresh start in life. I want to shed my celebrity status and make my own way in life.
I strongly feel that changing my name would help me achieve this goal, Mr. Weasley.
Will you please help me?"
Ron and Mr. Weasley snuck a quick glance at one another, eyes meeting for a flash of a second, before they both turned back to Harry.
"It sounds as if this was not a hasty decision, on your part, Harry. I respect your ability to make your own choices, which is why I will not try to change your mind, even though I disagree with this course of action."
Harry nodded at his friend's father and thanked him.
"What can I do to help?" added Mr. Weasley.
"Well Sir, I would like for the name change to be as confidential as possible. I don't want the press finding out since that would defeat the entire purpose, wouldn't it?
I was hoping you'd be able to rush the paperwork through, being a Department Head at the Ministry, and that you could make sure that as few as possible at the Ministry know about this."
Mr. Weasley seemed to be considering this for a moment, before he said:
"That sounds simple enough. I have a few friends in the Ministry Registry who owe me a few favors. If you're certain this is what you want, I will help you, Harry."
The green-eyed wizard smiled happily at Mr. Weasley and thanked him again.
"So what's your new name going to be, Harry?" Ron asked as he moved closer to his friend.
Harry looked up at his friend and answered sheepishly "Harrison James Evans."
TBC
* Quoted from "Romeo and Juliet", William Shakespeare.
Please please please review!!! I'd absolutely love to know what you think, so far!
