Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I loved your reviews – even the ones that criticized what I've done. I love hearing what you think, though I hope you will understand, in later chapters, why Harry needs to do some of the things he's doing at this stage.

An extra dose of gratitude goes to Corgi1, nerd-girl and Mara-Jade-Potter for offering constructive criticism. These three are great writers so I will definitely take their input to heart!

(oh, and nerd-girl: I don't live in London but I've spent about 2 months there this past year. I seem to remember King's Road as being a posh area of Chelsea, but I could very well be wrong. And I definitely did not mean King's Cross).

AN: As for those of you who felt I had changed Harry too much (the name change proved to be very unpopular), I understand your sentiment and promise to appease you in later chapters. Harry is battling his past right now and his actions are the product of his emotional state.

That's all I'll say about it, at this stage. Stay tuned to find out more…:)

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Starting Over

Chapter 6:

True to his word, Arthur Weasley expedited the name change process and within 3 short days Harry was sporting brand new identification papers.

The new name and appearance had helped cheer him up for a short while, but the melancholy that had become his constant companion throughout the past year didn't truly ease up. He still felt suffocated and lost, especially when he was left alone with his thoughts.

Severus' letter had given him quite a bit to ponder over. He'd tried replying on several occasions, but couldn't find the right words to say. He found it increasingly difficult to put his thoughts and emotions to paper.

* * * * * *

The previous evening Ron, Susie and Hermione had visited. The mood had been light and relaxed and Harry especially enjoyed cracking remarks about Ron and his girlfriend's lovesick expressions, which caused the young couple to blush profusely, while Hermione giggled on the sideline. Harry found solace and comfort in spending time with his close friends. These were the hours he cherished and drew strength from when the memories and guilt haunted him.

Harry was pleasantly surprised that Hermione did not move to leave when Ron and Susie did. Instead, she comfortably lounged on the living room couch as she waited for him to return from seeing his guests to the front door.

"You look like the Cheshire cat" Harry chuckled as he strode back into the room and noticed his best friend's smug grin.

"What a Muggle expression!" Hermione humorously scolded him. "Surely you realize Lewis Caroll was merely recollecting his experiences as a Muggle in the Magical world, when he wrote 'Through the Looking Glass', Harry. The Cheshire cat was no more than a wizard in his animagus form!"

Harry waved his hand at his friend jovially and laughed, "only you, my dear 'Mione would throw an educational speech my way for uttering such an innocent statement! It's what makes you so wonderfully you." He gently nudged the indignant witch to the side as he joined her on the couch with a deep sigh.

"So how was your date with Jason" Harry asked curiously.

Hermione's face turned a deep red as she lowered her gaze and began playing with a loose strand of hair.

"We had a great time, thanks." She replied.

"Come on, I want details! What did you do? Where did you go? Did he kiss you goodnight?" He badgered the girl playfully.

Hermione seemed to compose herself and flashed a grin in Harry's direction. She straightened up, turned to face him, and began:

"As you know my parent's house isn't connected to the floo network, and since he'd never been to my house before, he couldn't apparate there, so we agreed to meet in Diagon Alley. He was already there when I arrived. Oh Harry, I nearly died! I'd forgotten how handsome he was!!! And he's such a gentleman too…he gave me a single long stem red rose and everything! We had an incredibly romantic dinner at 'Sorcery Cuisine'. We must have talked for over 3 hours because they practically had to shoo us out at closing time! Then I apparated us back to my front door, where we said goodnight." The young witch was beaming with excitement as she smiled at her friend.

"I'm so happy for you, 'Mione" Harry said as he took her hand in his.

"If anyone deserves to find love and happiness, it's you" he added quietly, as he turned his gaze towards the rustling fireplace.

"You deserve that too, Harry" Hermione replied, placing her palm on his cheek and gently turning his face towards her own.

"You deserve to find peace. I can tell by the bags under your eyes that you aren't sleeping." Harry tried to interrupt, but she wouldn't allow it. "And don't you dare lie to me about this, Harry! You cannot exist on tri-weekly visits from Ron and me."

Harry looked into his friend's sad pleading eyes and bit his lower lip nervously. Hermione had a way of digging deep down into the darkest part of his soul and exposing it for what it was. He knew he wasn't strong enough to endure one of her probes, this evening.

After a few silent moments, Harry slouched forward in his seat, avoiding eye contact with his friend, and mumbled, almost inaudibly: "I don't know how to let go of the pain."

Overwhelmed by his sudden admission of helplessness, Hermione scooped Harry into her arms and held him tightly, allowing his head to rest on her shoulder, as the tormented wizard broke down. He cried for a long time, tears streaming down his face as his friend tried to soothe him with comforting words of love while rocking him gently in her warm embrace. After a long hour his sobs turned into sniffles and he withdrew from her touch.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall apart on you" Harry said guiltily.

"Nonsense, Harry. I'm glad I was here. You needed to let it all out. It's been building up for months now! You've been through so much, it's no wonder you're having such a hard time moving on. For seven years you were trained to battle the world's darkest wizard. That was an extremely stressful situation to be thrown into and you handled it admirably."

By now Hermione had risen from the couch and was pacing agitatedly in front of him.

"Then you succeeded in fulfilling the prophecy and actually brought the bastard down, and people still had nothing but demands and requests from you. No one took the time to find out how this had affected you. None of them realized you might have to deal with the backlash of the ordeal."

She stood in place and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"People are not only ungrateful but also very insensitive and unthinking! I'm still shocked by the fact that Professor Dumbledore sent you back to your regular classes, as if nothing happened, two days after the final battle!

Harry, you have every reason to be hurt and confused. In fact, I'd be questioning your sanity, had this not affected you so deeply."

Upon completing her tangent, the clever girl sat back down beside her friend.

Harry snuck a lopsided glance at Hermione.

"You're wrong, 'Mione. " He muttered under his breath. "One person did care…"

The young witch's eyes widened in surprise.

"Professor Snape?"

Harry nodded sluggishly.

"He carried me back from the field, even though he was injured too. I don't remember much of the final battle, but I do know it was his shield that broke Voldemort's 'lethal injection' curse: his brillant creation of a toxic potion that could be administered invisibly through a simple curse. He'd created it for the sole purpose of wiping me out, but Severus saved me, as usual." Harry said bitterly.

"That's the first time I've heard you say anything about the final battle, Harry." Hermione stated.

"I can't escape from it in my nightmares so I try to avoid thinking about it while I'm awake" Harry shrugged.

Hermione furrowed her brow in concentration and Harry could almost see the wheels in her brain turning.

"I think you should speak to someone who can help you deal with all of this. A professional." She sat beside him and gave him a piercing look.

"I've thought long and hard about this and have finally figured out a way to do it, Harry. You obviously can't see a regular Muggle psychiatrist, since they'd have you in a straightjacket within minutes, if you told them you're the savior of the Wizarding world. Problem is that the Wizarding world doesn't offer an equivalent to a shrink.

I've been wondering what to do about this for a while and all along the answer was under my nose!

Do you remember meeting my aunt Helen at graduation?"

Harry nodded in confusion.

"Well, aunt Helen happens to be a psychiatrist. She's a Muggle of course, but she knows all about me being a witch and about recent events that occurred in the Wizarding world. Mum and aunt Helen are very close so we've been completely open and honest with her about everything."

Harry was carefully considering Hermione's suggestion. He knew he needed help. He was wilting away, just like Severus had said in his letter. He needed someone to help guide him through this phase because it was quite obvious that he wasn't succeeding on his own.

He wondered what Severus would think about this idea. He'd write and ask for his opinion.

On second thought, he will not leave the choices in the hands of others. Severus does not want to make decisions for him. He's not Dumbledore.

"That sounds like a good idea, 'Mione" Harry said as he lifted his gaze and looked into her brown eyes.

"When can you speak to her about it?"

Hermione beamed and said "Well, actually, I've already ran the idea by her. She is eager to start the counseling sessions."

"How'd you know I'd agree, 'Mione?" Harry asked curiously.

"I knew you must have some sense in you, to have picked me as a friend!" She replied with a mischievous grin.

* * * * *

The next day Harry finally finished his letter to Snape.

Dear Severus,

I was very happy to receive your owl.

I apologize for not having replied sooner, but if you knew how many parchments I've tossed aside, unhappy with what I'd written, you'd realize it wasn't for lack of trying.

Your letter was very honest and I thank you for that. There have been far too few people in my life who have been so straightforward with me. In fact, I can only think of three others: Ron, Hermione, and Sirius.

The rest have usually tried to manipulate me into fitting in with their particular agenda.

I agree with what you said about how I never got a chance to sharpen my observation skills. I want very much to change that. I intend to make up for the past years and to find my own path in life.

The most important thing for me is to be true to myself. In order to do that, I need to first find out who I truly am.

I've decided to take some action in order to do this. The first course of action I will be taking is to leave Grimmauld Place. I've rented a small cottage in Oxfordshire, where I will be staying for a while. I didn't pick this destination randomly, though.

Hermione's aunt lives there. She's a psychiatrist. That means she's a Muggle doctor trained to counsel and treat mental disorders. As far as I know, there's no equivalent to this field in our world.

I'm going to be working with her for a while, in hopes that she will help guide me in the right direction. You'll be pleased to know that the brunt of the work will be on my shoulders if I am to make any true progress. A psychiatrist can help a person through his problems with use of counseling and medication, but the person has to be willing to heal. The person must be motivated and sincere in his desire to get past the obstacles that inhibit him.

I am motivated and my desire is great.

I want to find the strength to overcome the nightmares of my past. I desperately want to start my new life, sooner rather than later.

Once I accomplish that, I hope I'll get the chance to introduce you to the new and improved Harry Potter, or rather, Harrison James Evans!

You see, Severus? I never wanted the fame, the fortune, or the strings attached to the name Harry Potter. I don't want his past, his pain, or his problems.

I want to be me. Harry. Squeaky clean and untarnished. No scars – external or internal.

Ron and the rest of the Weasleys can't really understand this. They think I'm running away from the truth. They've gone as far as to call it an act of weakness or cowardice.

I can't quite get them to understand that it's an act of self-discovery. It's a conscious need to get acquainted with myself without the dark shadows of the past looming above. I hope you see this. It's very important to me that you understand my motives.

Wow, never thought you'd get an owl from Harry Potter telling you he cares what you think of him, did you?

I do though. More than Ron and the Weasleys, even.

Yours,

Harrison 'Harry' Evans

* * * * * *

After sending Hedwig off with the letter, Harry began to pack. He was excited about embarking on this new stage in life. He was going on a long, eye-opening journey from which he had very high hopes. He was done moping about in this bleak house that held so many painful memories and moving to the country where he'd be surrounded by fresh air, sunshine, and the freedom to whatever he wanted.

Harrison James Evans was leaving the nest…

TBC

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Please review – I'd absolutely love to know what you think!

I'm also in dire need of a beta reader. I'm afraid my sentence structure is rather imperfect and would love some help in that department, so if anyone's willing – I'd REALLY appreciate it!