Chapter Two

10 years later, I returned to Hairy to see how he was doing. Before I could enter the house, I saw a pig-like little (editor's note: erm, he meant BIG) boy whom I later learned was named Milk-Dud Dursey. I entered through the (what do you call it again?) wall. I saw Hairy. He looked miserable. I hoped he had a happy place. So, I left and decided to come back later.
A few months later, I noticed a lot of owls coming to the Durseys house. I entered the building. There were tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons of letters (not the ABCs). I tried grabbing one but I forgot I couldn't touch anything that wasn't invisible. And that's kinda hard because I can't see invisible things.
I saw the Durseys leave. I folloed them. I already realized where they were going, the only place interesting. The chocolate factory. While I waited for them, I munched on some double fudge chocolate mint chocolates with chocolate milk with chocolates in it. (Editor's note: how does he eat chocolate if he's a ghost?!)
After a few hours, I realized they must have gotten lost. So I used my natural mapping skills to try to find them. In the end, I ended up in the chocolate factory. What was I doing again? A few days later, I went back to the Durseys house. It turns out Hairy's going to that Woggyhort place. A big man named Hagriddle (Editors Note: emphasis on the BIG) told Hairy he was a wizard and was going to take him away. I followed them into Diagon Alliy. I wondered why they were going bowling. I later realized that this "Diagon Alliy" was a town in a town. Once I was in Diagon Alliy, I went straight to the candy store. Oh, the glory! Tons and tons of candy!! All the chocolate you could imagine!!! All under the same roof (exclamation point!)
I thus continued my journey into the deepest darkest corners of the candy store. (Editors Note: To save a lot of time, we will skip the candy store part, including the part on the rampage within the storage and the candy's mysterious disapearence (editor's note: Hudini Guy is so stupid that even his editors cant spell wright.))