A huge bunch of thanks to crazy-lil-nae-nae, Filodea, Corgi1, Sylvia Sylverton, Mara-Jade-Potter, Ariestar, Luna_Kat04, and last but not least nerd-girl.
Filodea: I majored in Psychology in Uni, which is why this story is pretty Psyche-oriented. I'm glad you liked my definition.
I'm a bit bummed about getting so few reviews, but it just makes me more appreciative of the ones I do get. Thank you guys for letting me know you're enjoying my story. I'm putting my heart and soul into it, so your reviews mean the world to me!
Regarding my request for a beta, thanks to those who offered. I really appreciate it. I have been incredibly busy these past two weeks, meaning I only found time to write this chapter over these past two days and I was too eager to post it to actually send it to a beta first. Hehe, patience is a virtue I have yet to acquire.
But hopefully I'll be able to take you up on your offer starting next chapter. :)
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Chapter 7It didn't take Harry long to settle in at Dalton Cottage.
He found the place charming with its sunny porch, beautiful garden and rustic décor. It also proved to be very convenient that the proprietor, Mick Dalton happened to be a wizard, which meant the lovely stone fireplace was connected to the floo network.
He'd already had Hermione and her aunt over for dinner, the night before, so as to get better acquainted with his new therapist. Dr. Helen Armstrong was a distinguished looking woman of about 40. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a neat bun, though she admitted that when she let it down it was every bit as frizzy as her niece's. She was a petite woman with warm brown eyes and a very laid- back air about her. When she walked, she seemed to float, and her movements struck Harry as being very graceful, almost as if she were dancing. Dr. Armstrong's voice was melodious and soft, yet powerful. Harry liked her from the start.
They decided to start off with four extensive therapy sessions a week. Harry wished to completely immerse himself in this process so as to progress at the fastest rate possible and to reclaim his life. Dr. Armstrong agreed to come by the cottage where they would be free of disturbances. The cottage had a spacious study, which would be adequate for the sessions. Harry was advised to stay out of this room for the rest of the week, so as to set a distinct border between the hours he spent receiving treatment and the time he spent to himself.
The first session was an introductory one. It lasted a little under four hours, during which Harry spoke of his life as he remembered it; starting with his childhood at the Dursleys, through receiving his Hogwarts letter, entering the Wizarding world and discovering the role he was destined to play, and ending with his annual collisions with Voldemort which peaked several months earlier.
Harry spoke in great detail of the people he had met along the way, who had impacted his life for the better or for the worse. He spoke lovingly of Hermione, Ron, the Weasleys, Sirius, and Hagrid. As for Albus Dumbledore, the confused young man's feelings were far more complex and ambivalent. Dumbledore was the greatest wizard of his time who represented the side of Light and did all he could to protect Harry as well as to train him to beat Voldemort. Nevertheless, Dumbledore was also sneaky and calculating and he constantly withheld important information from Harry over the years. Information Harry believed he had earned the right to know considering it centered mostly on him. Furthermore, Dumbledore seemed awfully nice and caring on the surface, but over the years the golden boy had been disappointed to learn that the old man cared more about Harry Potter, the wizard who was destined to beat Voldemort than Harry Potter, the person. This realization had hurt the young wizard deeply and had made him keep his distance from his former mentor.
Last but not least, Harry spoke of Severus.
He recalled the animosity that had defined their relationship from the very start. He spoke of Severus' harsh exterior, his cold demeanor, and his foul tactics as a teacher. He remembered the Trio's never-ending attempts to reveal Snape's devotion to the dark side, back when they were younger. Side by side stood Snape's severe treatment of them including his desire to expel Harry from Hogwarts.
Harry retold this with a measure of nostalgia. He seemed somehow detached from these memories, almost as if he was retelling a story he'd once been told.
"I couldn't have been more wrong about Severus. I was blinded by appearances, but to my defense, I was just a kid. I was incapable of digging under the surface and exposing the truth, back then," Harry said regretfully, as his gaze dropped to the floor.
He then explained the change of heart he'd had in regard to his Potions Professor. He described the numerous times the older wizard had risked his own life just to save Harry's. He went on and on about the man's bravery and devotion that had steered the light side to victory, thanks to his role as a spy.
He spoke of Severus; the man he had caught a few glimpses of, when he allowed his dichotomous division of the world around him to drop long enough. He saw Severus as a sad, solitary man who had known plenty of hardships and disappointments in life. A man who devoted his life to the redemption of his soul for an error of judgment made in his youth.
He wanted to get closer to Severus, to get to know him better. He wanted to be near him, to be the one to unlock the Potions Master's heart and introduce joy, laughter, and light into his life.
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By the end of the first session Harry was exhausted. He had spent almost four hours concentrating on his memories and emotions, all of which were very taxing. Though Dr. Armstrong herself had barely spoken, he nevertheless felt he'd begun the healing process. He'd taken the first step by facing his past directly, rather than hiding the negative parts in the cupboard under the stairs – the same place he'd banished Sirius' death to. The place he tried to avoid most of his life.
The session had exposed some interesting revelations for Harry. During his emotional outpour, he had realized that though he was still very angry with Albus, deep down inside, he still loved and respected the man. With everything that had happened between the two, he knew he had to accept that Albus had always been a rock in his life, and not one he was ready to cast aside. Certainly, Albus had his faults, just like every other human being. But was it fair to judge him so harshly and to expect him to be perfect? Wasn't that precisely what Harry was trying to escape in his own life? His biggest fear, after all, was letting down all those who counted and depended on him. Didn't Albus deserve some understanding and compassion from Harry, in return for his warmth and protection through the years?
An even more surprising revelation came in the form of Harry's newly discovered feelings for Severus Snape. It wasn't just admiration he held for the brave wizard. It wasn't just friendship or guidance he was after. Oh no, Harry knew now that he would never be happy without Severus by his side, as his partner. He couldn't pinpoint the exact time when his feelings had taken a romantic turn, but it was perfectly clear to him that he had no intention of fighting them. Severus was what his heart desired and he was going to do everything in his power to attain him.
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After Dr. Armstrong left, promising to return two days later, Harry decided to take a nap. The long therapy session had tired him out and he passed out the second his head hit the pillow. He slept through the afternoon and woke up at dusk.
Dusk was Harry's favorite part of the day. He loved taking long walks while watching the remains of the day melt away, leaving the skies darker, more mysterious, vulnerable, and uncertain. Some people defined themselves as 'morning people', while Harry saw himself as a 'dusk person'. He was in his element during this brief interval in time. Just like Harry, this transitional phase was hard to define; belonging neither to the day nor the night. A lone interlude gracing the world with its unique beauty. Many people tend to take dusk for granted, never stopping to enjoy what it offers: a moment to rest, to relax, to detach oneself from the mundane routine and to focus on that which is fleeting and untouchable.
Yes, Harry loved the dusk. That is precisely why he dressed in an old pair of sweat pants and t-shirt as fast as he could and left through the back door, to take a long walk and enjoy it.
Harry was pleased to discover Dalton Cottage was located in the countryside. He'd never really had a chance to travel, so this was a new experience for him, and one he found most relaxing. The scenery was breathtaking and he made a mental note to revisit this trail in the daylight, so as to discover that which the setting sun might not allow him to view this time around. The young wizard was thinking about none other than his former Potions Professor, as he continued following a marked trail leading from the back yard of Dalton cottage, to a lovely pasture filled with beautiful flowers. The grass was fresh and rich, the flowers in an array of scintillating colors, all which further added to Harry's enjoyment
.
As he hiked, the young man played possible scenarios in his mind, regarding his decision to actively pursue Severus. He knew the older man wouldn't come around easily and that he'd have to form a meticulously planned strategy, if he were to be successful in his endeavor.
Harry was so far away in his thoughts that he didn't notice the shadow of the person approaching him. He was so immersed in his fantasy, that it took him a moment to realize the seductive drawl he was hearing wasn't merely a figment of his imagination.
"I wouldn't want any renegade Death Eater to find you like this, Harry. Alone, defenseless, and in what appears to be the midst of a most satisfying daydream".
Harry gasped in shock as he was awoken from his trance, only to find the object of his daydream glaring at him.
"Severus?" Harry mumbled, finding the whole situation very surreal.
"I am, yet again, astounded by your powers of observation" Severus replied sardonically, but his tone was soft and teasing. He was standing in front of Harry, dressed in a light summer robe – black, of course.
"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, closing his gaping mouth.
"I happen to live here, Harry. You see the large monstrosity of a house behind the moor? Severus pointed at a large mansion Harry had yet to notice, standing at the edge of the trail he was on.
The shocked wizard nodded dumbly.
"That's my family home. I usually spend my summers and vacations from Hogwarts there."
Snape appeared to be clam and composed. It seemed that bumping into Harry, of all people, so close to his family home did not surprise him in the least.
"I've rented Dalton Cottage, right over there" Harry explained, pointing to the small cottage, which could barely be seen.
"I am well aware of that, Harry." Snape's voice seemed so seductive. Harry was having trouble making out the words being spoken.
"Mick Dalton and I grew up together. I knew he'd rented the place out to you before receiving your latest owl. I recommended you as a tenant, in fact."
Harry was flabbergasted. Severus was standing in front of him, in the flesh, explaining that they were now next-door-neighbors, so to speak. Not only that, but Severus did not seem to mind their newly established proximity, he may have even engineered it himself!
Harry was confused, but happy. Very happy.
Could it be that Severus might harbor similar feelings for him? Was it even possible? Were things going to go his way, for once?
Earlier today he had decided to do anything needed in order to win Severus over, but deep down, he had hoped it wouldn't be a difficult feat to achieve. To be honest, Harry was tired of fighting. He had fought Voldemort until recently. He'd fought for the Light, for Dumbledore, for Ron and Hermione. He'd fought for his parents' memory. But he was sick and tired of fighting. All he wanted now was peace and quiet, maybe a little love and understanding as well.
Was he crazy to think Severus might also be feeling something along those lines?
TBC
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