Chapter Four
The next day everyone one was whispering as if Hairy was famous, of course I already figured that out yesterday. There were many staircases and doorways; it was all so confusing even with my brilliant mapping skills.
The ghosts would sometimes help. Peeves who has recently became my idol, is worth two locked doors and a trick staircase. I'm only worth a broken door. He would sneak up behind you and screem GOT YOUR CONK! Which has recently became a favorite game. I'm good at it.
The caretaker, Filth, and his cat Mrs. Norman. Filth knew all the secret thingymabobber except for the Weasel twins. His cat is so kickable everyone wants to kick it.
First was Transmogtify (Editor's Note: He means Transfiguration.) that was taught by the Grifondear head, Professor McGoneagain. They took a bunch of notes. I'm glad I'm not a student cause I never learned how to right. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy did go to school but he was kicked out for inability to learn.) At last they started trying to turn matches to needles. Only Herninny Ranger changed hers.
Defense Against the Dark Arts was all lies. The class smelled of garlic, which only goes well with bread so that's a lot of wasted garlic. Plus, Professor Quill said he got his cape from a Romanian Prince and I know for a fact that Romania doesn't exist. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy I Repeat has no idea of what he is talking about.) On the day of Hairy's first Soup mixing class (Editor's Note: the idiot means potions) they had it with Slyfoxes. During breakfast, Hairy got a letter from Hagriddle saying to have tea, Hairy replied yes. During Soup mixing class, which I thought went quite well, Professor Snap asked Hairy a bunch of questions. Herninny Ranger raised her hand. I bet she raised her hand because she needed to go to the bathroom.
After potions, Hairy and Ron went to Hagriddles. Hagriddle had a dog, it was named Fang. I personally dislike them. They sniff my butt and follow me as if I'm dog like. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy doesn't realize that the dogs can smell stupidity and like it.)
While Ron was talking to Hagriddle about Chalk Weasel, his older brother, Hairy picked up the Dairy Prophet. On the front page was a dumb story about a bank break-in. But I did get the vague feeling Hairy thought it was important. A few days later, Grifondear and Slyfox were learning how to ride a broom together. I was getting the feeling Hairy didn't like that boy Dracula Mal and his two friends Crab and Gargoyle. That day a boy in Grifondear named Deville who got a Remembrall. It makes you remember things. I sure don't need one of... What was I doing again?
Outside in the afternoon, the Woggyhorts students were going to learn how to ride a broom. The Slyfoxes were already there. Madam Hoot shouted for them to get a broom. She told everyone to say up to his or her brooms. I thought this was stupid because why would you talk to a broom. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy knows nothing, so never strike a conversation with him unless you talk about chocolate.
Few of the brooms went up. Like this one girl named Hermyohmy's broom rolled. Never's broom just stayed there. Now the firsties were going to try flying. 3, 2, ... Never blasted off his broom. This kid sure reminded me of someone, but I can't remember whom. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy is reminded of himself.) At the end Never broke his wrist.
After the teach left with the kid Dracula started laughing. Then Dracula found a red ball, which turned out to be Never's Remember thingy. Hairy told Dracula to give him the Remember thingy. I think Hairy was bosy because Finders Keepers, losers weepers. I would of sold the thingy Remember and bought chocolate with it.
Dracula said he would put in a tree, I wondered how? (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy hasn't the faintest clue that Mal can use his broom.) Up in the air they flew, Hairy was okay. Hairy threatened to nock Mal off his broom. Hairy said Mal's friends Crab and Gargoyle weren't there to help him.
"Catch if you can!" Mal screamed. Hairy saw the red ball go in slow motion. He went into a dive and caght it. Professor McGoneagain shouted at Hairy to come with her.
They went to Charms, which was taught by Professor Flickwit. She asked if she could borrow Wood. Oh boy I love seeing people paddled besides me. (Editor's Note: During Hudini Guy's childhood he was paddled repeatedly for idiocy and misbehavior.)
It turns out Wood was a person, Olive Woody to be exact. He was the Squidditch captain of the Grifondear team. Woody looked as if his dreams had come true. He said that Hairy would be the Sucker of the team. Hairy was going to learn Squidditch. Woody said they ought to get Hairy a good broom, one like the Nimwad 2000 or a Cleaner Seven.
At dinner Hairy had just told Ron Weasel what had happened. It was supposed to be a secret. Hairy must really be stupid. Ron's older Twin brothers, Fried and Georgia, came over. They congratulated Hairy. They were on the team too. They were Butlers. Then Mal and his too friends came over. Dracula challenged Hairy to a wizard duel. That night, at a halfie pastie eleven, Ron and Hairy went out of the dormitory. Just as they were going to exit, out came Herninny Ranger. She gave them a tellie, I lov it when someone gets a tellie. (Interesting Fact: Did you know that Hudini Guy is the first human with an I.Q. of –192?) Outside the Fat Lady they found Never cuddled up like a...a...a...a...ahhhhhhhhhh? Back to where I think (Editor's Note: Think. Ha! Very Funny!) I was. When the for got to the trophy hall, Mal and Crab weren't there yet. Ron thought maybe they turkeyed out. Then they heard Filth comin round the corner. Hairy shouted for every one to run. When they stopped Herninny told Hairy I told ya so. Then they met up with Peeves. Peeves did what any responsible person would do. He screamed bloody murder. Hairy and the others ran for their lives. When Filth caught up to Peeves, he asked where de students. Peeves told Filth a joke and laughed. HaHAHAHAHahhAha! It was so funny. (Editor's Note: What was the joke?) Hairy and them were on the run, and Herninny did a spelling to open the locked door. Hairy then realized that they were on the forbidden coredor on the third floor. Standing there was a cutie doggie with three little heads. They all ranned and were scaredy. Hairy, Ron, Herninny, and Never went back to the Grifondear Common Room. The password was Pig Snout. I'm sleepy so Nighty Nighter.
The next day everyone one was whispering as if Hairy was famous, of course I already figured that out yesterday. There were many staircases and doorways; it was all so confusing even with my brilliant mapping skills.
The ghosts would sometimes help. Peeves who has recently became my idol, is worth two locked doors and a trick staircase. I'm only worth a broken door. He would sneak up behind you and screem GOT YOUR CONK! Which has recently became a favorite game. I'm good at it.
The caretaker, Filth, and his cat Mrs. Norman. Filth knew all the secret thingymabobber except for the Weasel twins. His cat is so kickable everyone wants to kick it.
First was Transmogtify (Editor's Note: He means Transfiguration.) that was taught by the Grifondear head, Professor McGoneagain. They took a bunch of notes. I'm glad I'm not a student cause I never learned how to right. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy did go to school but he was kicked out for inability to learn.) At last they started trying to turn matches to needles. Only Herninny Ranger changed hers.
Defense Against the Dark Arts was all lies. The class smelled of garlic, which only goes well with bread so that's a lot of wasted garlic. Plus, Professor Quill said he got his cape from a Romanian Prince and I know for a fact that Romania doesn't exist. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy I Repeat has no idea of what he is talking about.) On the day of Hairy's first Soup mixing class (Editor's Note: the idiot means potions) they had it with Slyfoxes. During breakfast, Hairy got a letter from Hagriddle saying to have tea, Hairy replied yes. During Soup mixing class, which I thought went quite well, Professor Snap asked Hairy a bunch of questions. Herninny Ranger raised her hand. I bet she raised her hand because she needed to go to the bathroom.
After potions, Hairy and Ron went to Hagriddles. Hagriddle had a dog, it was named Fang. I personally dislike them. They sniff my butt and follow me as if I'm dog like. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy doesn't realize that the dogs can smell stupidity and like it.)
While Ron was talking to Hagriddle about Chalk Weasel, his older brother, Hairy picked up the Dairy Prophet. On the front page was a dumb story about a bank break-in. But I did get the vague feeling Hairy thought it was important. A few days later, Grifondear and Slyfox were learning how to ride a broom together. I was getting the feeling Hairy didn't like that boy Dracula Mal and his two friends Crab and Gargoyle. That day a boy in Grifondear named Deville who got a Remembrall. It makes you remember things. I sure don't need one of... What was I doing again?
Outside in the afternoon, the Woggyhorts students were going to learn how to ride a broom. The Slyfoxes were already there. Madam Hoot shouted for them to get a broom. She told everyone to say up to his or her brooms. I thought this was stupid because why would you talk to a broom. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy knows nothing, so never strike a conversation with him unless you talk about chocolate.
Few of the brooms went up. Like this one girl named Hermyohmy's broom rolled. Never's broom just stayed there. Now the firsties were going to try flying. 3, 2, ... Never blasted off his broom. This kid sure reminded me of someone, but I can't remember whom. (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy is reminded of himself.) At the end Never broke his wrist.
After the teach left with the kid Dracula started laughing. Then Dracula found a red ball, which turned out to be Never's Remember thingy. Hairy told Dracula to give him the Remember thingy. I think Hairy was bosy because Finders Keepers, losers weepers. I would of sold the thingy Remember and bought chocolate with it.
Dracula said he would put in a tree, I wondered how? (Editor's Note: Hudini Guy hasn't the faintest clue that Mal can use his broom.) Up in the air they flew, Hairy was okay. Hairy threatened to nock Mal off his broom. Hairy said Mal's friends Crab and Gargoyle weren't there to help him.
"Catch if you can!" Mal screamed. Hairy saw the red ball go in slow motion. He went into a dive and caght it. Professor McGoneagain shouted at Hairy to come with her.
They went to Charms, which was taught by Professor Flickwit. She asked if she could borrow Wood. Oh boy I love seeing people paddled besides me. (Editor's Note: During Hudini Guy's childhood he was paddled repeatedly for idiocy and misbehavior.)
It turns out Wood was a person, Olive Woody to be exact. He was the Squidditch captain of the Grifondear team. Woody looked as if his dreams had come true. He said that Hairy would be the Sucker of the team. Hairy was going to learn Squidditch. Woody said they ought to get Hairy a good broom, one like the Nimwad 2000 or a Cleaner Seven.
At dinner Hairy had just told Ron Weasel what had happened. It was supposed to be a secret. Hairy must really be stupid. Ron's older Twin brothers, Fried and Georgia, came over. They congratulated Hairy. They were on the team too. They were Butlers. Then Mal and his too friends came over. Dracula challenged Hairy to a wizard duel. That night, at a halfie pastie eleven, Ron and Hairy went out of the dormitory. Just as they were going to exit, out came Herninny Ranger. She gave them a tellie, I lov it when someone gets a tellie. (Interesting Fact: Did you know that Hudini Guy is the first human with an I.Q. of –192?) Outside the Fat Lady they found Never cuddled up like a...a...a...a...ahhhhhhhhhh? Back to where I think (Editor's Note: Think. Ha! Very Funny!) I was. When the for got to the trophy hall, Mal and Crab weren't there yet. Ron thought maybe they turkeyed out. Then they heard Filth comin round the corner. Hairy shouted for every one to run. When they stopped Herninny told Hairy I told ya so. Then they met up with Peeves. Peeves did what any responsible person would do. He screamed bloody murder. Hairy and the others ran for their lives. When Filth caught up to Peeves, he asked where de students. Peeves told Filth a joke and laughed. HaHAHAHAHahhAha! It was so funny. (Editor's Note: What was the joke?) Hairy and them were on the run, and Herninny did a spelling to open the locked door. Hairy then realized that they were on the forbidden coredor on the third floor. Standing there was a cutie doggie with three little heads. They all ranned and were scaredy. Hairy, Ron, Herninny, and Never went back to the Grifondear Common Room. The password was Pig Snout. I'm sleepy so Nighty Nighter.
