Chelsea and Allie returned from yet another Sue who thought she could be a witch and screw up the entire trilogy by joining Lyra and Will.

"I need Beeprin," Chelsea muttered as she fell onto one of the beanbag chairs.

"Damn author's notes," Allie said as she went to search for her missing bleeprin bottle.

"I don't see why they have to change everything!" Chelsea yelled.

"Me neither Chelsea."

[BEEEEP!]

"Aw crud, what now?" Allie checked the computer, read the message and sighed.

"It's not as bad as the last one, is it?" Chelsea asked.

"It's not a 'Sue....necessarily."

"Oh goo-what do you mean 'necessarily'?"

Allie stepped aside and let Chelsea read the message: The PPC is on Yellow Alert Status due to the upcoming event of the release of the movie The Return of the King. All agents are on standby alert, and may be transferred, no matter their position or universe, to the Mary Sue Lord of the Rings Division. Be prepared for the invasion of Sues into Middle Earth, and please brush up on your archery and sword fighting skills. Thank you, management.

"Now," said Allie, "what exactly will we be looking for in a Lord of the Rings 'Sue?"

"Aw crup!" yelled Chelsea. "The Return of the King premier! It's tomorrow! Trilogy Tuesday is showing the movie two hours early! Sue authors are gong to flock!"

"And we have to help?"

"Yes Allie, we have to help."

"But I haven't even finished the first movie!"

"Well then my dear friend," said
Chelsea with a wicked smile, "we have work to do. Good news is we can kill them with the bow and arrows, so you got that down, right?"

"Yes, but what do Lord of the Rings 'Sues do?"

"Let me show you..."