As fine as I can be
S+J+S+J+S+J+S
Gater101
S+J+S+J+S+J+S



Tired. So tired.

All I want to do is lie down and go to sleep. Whatever was in that drug Kynthia had injected Sam with it was strong. It has taken all my energy away and I want to fall onto the bed beside Sam and sleep for a week.

Jack comes bursting through the door just as I take a seat on the stool next to the bed.

"Is she okay!?" He demands looking at me then averting his gaze to Janet seeking the answer.

"She hasn't woken up yet but she should be fine." I feel eyes on me and look up to Janet. "Jacob you should rest." I shake my head negative.

"I'll be fine. I want to be here when she wakes up." I sigh and rub a hand over my face. "I could do with a coffee though." I look at Jack pleadingly.

Just then there was a loud 'thump' and the infirmary doors swung open.

"Daniel! Just the man!" Jack called and patted him on the back plastering a large grin on his face. "How about you jump down to the comessary and grab us some coffee?"

Daniel stares at Jack disbelievingly and looks to me for back up. He obviously recognises my need for coffee and hurries out of the door yelling that he'll not be a minute.

My head throbs again and I screw my eyes tight shut to stop the pain. When I feel eyes on me I look up and smile - what I hope is reassuringly - at Janet.

Deciding to change the subject I turn to Jack. "Did you find out what was in the drug Kynthia used in Sam? It's very strong."

Jack looks thoughtful for a second then shakes his head. "I think she said something about Naquada and an element found only on Argos, I can't really remember."

"Yes she did! I completely forgot!" Janet cries and I feel sympathetic towards her.

"The Naquada wouldn't have been that difficult to heal but...whatever else was in it was pretty strong." I hear a slight grumble from my site and I swear on Sam's life that I have never seen Jack move so fast.

Sam looks pale, really pale and her eyes are cloudy as they open and she stares at the ceiling for a second before closing her eyes again.

"I hurt," she croaks and I smile wanly my fatigue catching up on me.

I never thought it would ever sound so good to actually hear Sam say the words 'I'm hurt' but they just made my heart sore to the sky.

"It's a side effect from using the healing device." Janet states as she shines her pen light into Sam's bright eyes.

Sam licked her white cracked lips and Janet holds a cup of water out for her allowing her to drink most of it before pulling it away leaving Sam gasping.

"Healing device?" She asked finally after clearing her throat several times.

She looks around at each of us and finally Jack answers.

"Kynthia injected you with something, Naquada and something else found on Argos. Dad had to heal you with the healing device."

He looked across at me as he said this and I nod my head in agreement. I watch as Jack touches her cheek with an affectionate hand and they smile at each other.

"Is...bump..." Sam's lip trembles and Jack takes her hand in his whilst I reach a lazy arm up and wrap it around her waist my hand resting on her still flat abdomin.

"Bump's fine," I assure her with a small tired smile.

I fight the urge to let my head drop onto the bed and fall asleep even as my mind starts to fog.

"Sam!" I hear Daniel's cheery voice over the haze on my head and can almost imagine him holding the cups of coffee almost spilling the contents over the floor.

"Daniel." She says and smiles tightly. "Teal'c." She acknowledges for the first time.

"MajorCarter I am glad you are back to full fitness." He says inclining his head in a manner no one else can.

"I wouldn't say that," Janet pipes up. "Sam needs her rest as do you Jacob." I feel her eyes burn into me and rub my balding head.

"It's okay Dad I'll stay with her." Jack assures me placing a hand over mine which is still resting on Sam's stomach.

"No you won't! All of you need your rest now get out of my infirmary before I have you escorted by guards." Janet says forcefully and when Jack and Daniel are about to protest she fixes on them with a death glare and they relent.

I stand up warily and grip onto the side of Sam's bed as I see colours fly in front of my eyes. I take a deep breath and steady myself before leaning over and placing a kiss to Sam's forehead.

"Thanks Dad." She says quietly so no one else can hear.

"My pleasure Angel." I whisper back and move away out of the infirmary.

I walk down the corridor to my on base quarters dragging my feet along the floor scuffing the yellow line as I go.

I reach the door and open it forcefully and tumble in stumbling over a chair that was conveniently placed there. Bypassing the chair I shuffle over to the bed and flop into it not bothering to take my clothes off as sleep threatens to pull me over the edge into the dark epithany.

In my sleep filled brain I think about my daughter and the many times I have almost lost her. Not only by death but because of my own stubborness. After her mother died, she blamed me and I pushed her so far away I was afraid I would never get her back. And with Nasa when she turned down my offer of a job there - little did I know she was doing something far more meaningfull and spectacular.

I feel a sense of loss for some strange reason every time I think about her relationship with Jack. It's a selfish reason really. Along the lines of she's my daughter and no one else can have her.

My mind doesn't have any more time to ponder over the reason's or thoughts anymore as sleep pulls me that last nanometer onto the Abyss. Into the blissful realm of fluffy clouds and fairytale ending...a place where I can escape reality.