"Here I go...." I said, taking a deep breath, and jumped down! I started floating around, doing a couple of flips and stuff, abandoning the Universe itself.

"WHOA! That was fun! It's like I tripped, but I missed the landing point accidentally! COOL! Now this is a lot more fun than I thought, I should do this on moons sometime----AHH!ARGH!!!!"

Except that I landed on the right in the middle of the glass surface of the Massive's windshield, and got squashed like a fly on the truck. Heh, heh!

Even Almighty Tallest Red himself turned around in the main deck to notice. "What the heck is this? Another desperate Irken got hit by our windshield? And even after the guards put the Irken-Bounce-Away gel on the windows, we still manage to fish out more and more!"

I saw Almighty Tallest Purple coming in, he looked so girlie in that purple robe! "You're still having a fit over those stupid insects? Get over it Red, it's about time you think and shout more important thoughts, like..."

"Smoke machines?!" said a random Purple fan.

And then the fan's best buddy came along too, "Snacks to fill our mouths and taste buds with galore???

"No!! Whoever you people are! Guards, take them!" Purple ordered two short guards in red, and they came attacking the helpless fools. Purple finished his sentence, and continued, "Like, like...KLEENEX!! We have serious issues, about the over-rated use of tissues!"

I giggled insanely as I noticed the rhyme in that last sentence, I mean it's funny, IS IT NOT????

Red didn't get it, but he did notice something more peculiar. "Why are you doing here, in the middle of our meeting?" He points over to me, coming in the room a little messed up looking, with my tall hover board around my right robot arm. Aren't I fast?

"My tallest, I'm known at the cities of Irk as the planet's greatest murderer, but I also won the Galactical Academy Awards for Universe's Greatest Assassin. There is a difference, you know?"

"And, you're ugly!" Purple mentioned.

"At least I'm not very short, aren't I? From my extensively super-quick trip from the front of the Massive to this very room, I did some tricks and random experiences on my demented body, and I have discovered that I'm something that you're not! HA! And you two will be begging and bribing me to have me tell you what it is, wouldn't you?"

"That's for chumps and losers, and because we are of royalty to the Empire---" Red said, another rhyme!

"---We get to just force you to tell us or have your spleen blasted off! Purple said, then getting kicked by Red, though I don't know how he could kick with those robes on!

"I don't have a spleen."

"Damn it!" Cursed Red, no rhyme there...

I looked around, we were clear of guards, or at least they were. "It's kind of a personal issue, can we discuss in private?"

"We wouldn't, normally, but---GUARDS!! Loot her off!!" Red commanded, and the guards acted just like computers of the 18th century, with absolutely no emotion whatsoever and only obeyed their masters. They had robbed all the monies I've owned for the past 6 years, and some of the rare steals and gold right out of my mechanical functioning replacement parts.

"Okay, I think that's all she's got, take her hover board to a ship and you will come with us!"

I followed right behind them, I felt like an elderly Irken, crouching down like this, but I knew that the Tallests had been leaders even before I was developed. I had felt very suspicious about this, since I've known by heart that leaders of Irkens have always been evil, menacing, unfair and disrespected the short and ugly. Not to mention the poor. But mainly short Irkens. And ugly too. Wait, did I mentioned that already? Uh, sorry, got confused there. We are actually at.....

~ TALLESTS' BED CHAMBERS, OUTDOOR BALCONY ~

"It was pretty nice of you to take me over to see this beautiful view of burning asteroids, but is there something you want from me first? Anything ironic or something the stupid author can come up with at 12:30AM?" I asked, but I did expect not much of an answer from these two dorks.

"Uhh.... Look, ugly queen of the bandanna plains, what is it that you want with us?!" Red demanded, he's so damn bossy!

"Yeah!" Purple agreed, and asked "And what kind of name is 'Queen of the Bandanna Plains'?"

"You see, because of Zim's ultimate chaos during Operation Impending Doom One, I was being born with a rare, parasital virus that is killing me limb by limb as we speak. Now I know new body transplants are really expensive, and my Tallests, you're the only ones who have all the monies to buy off 1500 body transplants!! Please, please, PLEASE!!! I'll bow down for mercy under your very black and stubby floating feet!! I will do so, I warn you!"

I bowed down under their black, stubby floating feet, and to us Irkens it means that the beggar is willing to do anything to get his/her wish, but they have a dark secret behind them first. The leaders just stared at me strangely and hollowed and burst out loud laughs of pitiful-ness.

"You came all the way to our ship just to ask us to save your life before you die?!?" Red said, flabbergasted but still tearful from his cackles.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! That's a good one, but pitiful thing to do, especially since you're such a freak of beyond nature's laws!! HAHAHAHA!!!!" Purple sneered right into my ugly face, I would've ripped his skin off if he hadn't been the ruler of my people.

"But...but.. I served in your army when I was only 2 weeks old! I have the skills to slaughter all of your enemies quicker than the Armada!! I'll make sure every single living creature in this Universe and many other cringe and scream in the fear of our very presence!

"Please, I'll die soon, and when I die, I bet there's gonna be no other assassin as professional and quick with the knives and guillotines as I!! " I begged, shouting pleas like a lunatic. "I'll do anything else you want me to do, and I'll be your permanent slave! Then I'll hire 10,000 more slaves to be yours, too!! I'm at death's door, here!! Don't you care? Don't you even care???"

Red replied to my sobbing, but it didn't do much good to me. "We would have said more of our opinions on you, except that you kept yapping and yapping about your own mental problems!"

"All you care for is for yourself! You selfish slave!"

I stopped sobbing in an instant "Oh....I'm awfully sorry, but, do you still care about me either way?"

Purple just simply stated, as if this wasn't the worst day of my life, "Nuh uh."

"No. Just.... Just, no..."

I felt as if I were in a real, demented hell, or in an insane asylum. "Does that mean you're lying, and you actually do care!?"

"Care?" Purple doubted my idea, pitying me. "We never even liked you, dumb ass!!!"

And they both started laughing me again, while I sob into tears and bang my iron fists on the floor. Thoughts came over to my mind at once:

"Why don't I just cut their heads off now and hide the carcasses?"

"Why am I such an idiot?"

" Stop crying, STOP CRYING!!"

"They might change their minds in the future, once I show them how skilled and useful I am for the Armada, and plus I can feel good about myself again for killing the enemy, not the innocent!"

"Cut out the tears right now! NOW!!"

"Don't make them see a fool on the floor that they have defeated, show them the determined and desperate me, defeating them in their plains!!"

"Oh, forget it, they've got me, and now I'll probably be either a slave to them forever with no pay, or be kicked out of their society itself."

"Why can't I just shut up?! HUH? HUH?! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STIOP IT----"

Something came over my head, just when I was about to scream for mercy, "Hey, wait a second,"

Almighty Tallest Red heard me. "What now? We were about to leave for a cappuccino, you know?"

"Any final requests before we throw you out?"

I paused thinking the right thing to say, and give out the right amount of time of suspense for the two rulers. Tick, tock, tick, tock! Tick tock! Tick! Tock! Tick! TOCK! TICK!

"I'm taller than the both of you," I said slowly, "and I can prove it. Just watch.... "

As hard as I did before, I fully straightened my spine, which cracked several times during the process. Instead of being a four footer, I was now about six feet tall, but the Almighty Tallests were, after all, 7' 6".

Red snickered. "HA! Nice try, but you're a foot and a half off!"

"Man, didn't you see my legs before? I'm not finished just yet." With my two knees, I un-bended my legs, and stood up higher and higher up, until I had made perfect eye contact with those rectangular red and purple eyes.

It felt pretty cool being this tall, and not only powerful and superior, but it also felt like you had to be real careful and gentle with everything around you, including yourself. Red and Purple were pretty much surprised that not only was I originally this tall, but I was now the same exact height as the two of them.

Pffft! Imagine that? three Almighty Tallests?! Now, two would be a bit odd, but three just gets over the limit here! Besides, I'm not going to rule an Empire with 2 other co-tallests. My legs stretched a little higher, and my neck stood up in the air.

"HA! HA! HA! I'm 6 inches taller than the both of you! You know that if you don't get the body I ever-so need soon, I'll run over to those control brains, and they'll have a look of their new leader! MUAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Oh...darn! We've been defeated by your superior growth spurts! Now we never be tallests...uh...again!" Red yelled out, quite oddly though.

Purple didn't get it at first, but then Red nudged him and winked twice. "Yeah, um, that's right! You win! I guess rules are rules, you know!! Boo! Hoo!"

"Oh, why did this...THING had to happen? We are...sad. YES! Very.....sad."

"Boo hoo?"

I was confused as to what the idiots were doing, but then it struck me, "What? Oh no, not a ironic twist to this story! Noooo! I don't want that! I deserve to win!"

Red kicked me right on my left ankle, and I had collapsed right to the ground, with serious back pains and muscles and bones feeling all knotted and tangled. "Too bad, you have a miserable life anyway!"

"Guards," Purple yelled as I tried to get up. "take this monster away and put her on the timed-explosive bomb ship! And lock the destination to Planet Earth if she survives."

The guards were standing there already, and grabbed the me with the hump on my back, Vortian legs and my neck sticking out horizontally once again. They dragged me to a garage, and locked me up in electric chains that formed a spider web on the tiny ship I was sent too. I saw the bomb safe and secured in the back pod of the ship, beeping insanely. One of the guards shocked me with his shocker stick, and I was in aching and tormenting agony.

They closed the doors and the ship started itself, and flew right out of the garage and into the space I was just floating in before, and it flew in front of the balcony where the tallests stood again. Only this time they were laughing at me, and had some kind of computer chip in their claws.

"Hey, loser!" Purple sneered, "We forgot to give you something!" One of the windows opened up, but I couldn't see it because it was behind my PAK.

"Just to keep this our little secret," Red said, patting my back uncomfortably, "if you ever survive through this trip with the bomb going off, and having no food to live on, here's a disguise chip that'll permanently cover up your true ugliness self!"

He threw the chip inside the ship, and sucked itself inside my PAK, hidden inside the blackened metal.

"Hope ya die!" Purple waved goodbye, but I did not want it to be the end just yet.

"Sayonara, ugly queen of the bandanna plains!" Red used that stupid title on me again.

"What kind of good bye is that?"

The ship took me away, never for me to have the chance of getting back at them again, or even living a normal life. Through the stars, past the different galaxies and planets, I waved good bye to them all. In 2 weeks, I lost six pounds, and I was starving. I looked for something to eat on that crammed ship, but found nothing worth digesting and then having bowel problems with.

It was a very slow trip. For months and months and months, I was so bored to death, that I broke out of those chains instantly, and made myself a microwave, lamp and an electric blanket. Everyday, I would look out from the windows to see where I've past by now, and that darn piece of junk couldn't move any faster!! It only moved about 50 mph, like an old-fashioned voot cruiser or something!

I would daydream, week by week, what the next stupid parts of this story would take me to, and wondered what will Earth be like. I've never heard of such a place, but hey, I never even got to learn all the planets that were even in my own home galaxy! Six months I've counted now, and I wake up one morning by the sound of a crash! I looked to see that my ship had just run over some kind of satellite that I would see normally in history books. And finally, after precisely 182 days and nights being stranded in this ship losing 40 lb. , and eating only the control buttons and all the cushions, I've made it to this place called Earth.

KABOOM! BANG!! CRASH!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEP!!!!!!!

"AHHHHH! The bomb, I completely forgot about it! And this cheeseburger I found sitting right next to me! Whooooooooooaaaaaaaahhhh!!!! EEEEK!"

The ship was spinning and turning like crazy, and it was on fire, crashing on to the Earth! I got pretty darn dizzy from all of this, and not only that, but the bomb was about to go off! "And just when I was making a living here, I'm about to die and my stomach's growling!"

I had three choices to survive this crash: A. Get out of the ship and escape on my hover board (that I should've done before! Stupid!) B. Deactivate the cheeseburger or C. Eat the bomb.

I gulped, "Ahhh... Oh, what did you say there? I was chewing on the bomb here...Mmmmmm! Minty!"

I'm such an IDIOT!! I swallowed the beeping box whole, but it still was about to go off, right inside my organs. I was scared. There's nothing else to do now, either way I would explode, and I would land on the planet as a dead, Irken carcass. Spinning, spinning, spinning....twisting, turning, flipping over.....It was in the atmosphere now, and in all the blurry-ness I saw shades of blue and white.

It was getting hotter and hotter, and the fire jumped right behind me and started to destroy the ship bit by bit. Smoke came in, any I could hardly breathe, all I could do was grab on to my hover board with Scarlet kept safely in my PAK, and saw all of its darkness, and empty-ness.

I closed my eyes, and soon woke up, as a completely different being.