For a couple of days, we were stranded inside the shack, and our only food to eat was pizza and blursberry jelly, which I've grown to be allergic to. I've given up my goal to be a different 'person' but instead be able to survive without keep thinking Scarlet is a turkey-ham-cheese-salsa-burger-lettace-cucumber-tuna-relish-pasta-Italian salad dressing-potato-peanut butter sandwich, and chewing on the laptop when it was closed. God, I love that sandwich....And the only place to get one of a kind sandwich of the sort was at Foodcourtia. So close, yet so lazy........
"Mmmmmm........sandwich....."
"AHH! UGGGH!!!" Scarlett pulled herself away from me. "Don't you know the difference between an advanced model of Irken laptop helper 4 and some goddamn sandwich?!"
"Well you would've actually tasted good sooner or later if you haven't started to budge and complain about it!! Besides, I was merely biting you, and carving teeth marks on your mouse."
"You chewed off half the keys off my keyboard, and vomited them out and then glued them back on to me using your own drool! You call that merely biting?!"
"You don't understand my senses of starvation, and I don't understand your on-going deserted insanity! So there's no reason why we should---"
"Thumpity, thump thump! Thumpity, thumpity, thump, thump, THUMP! Clicklity click-click clack CLOOK!!!!!! (clook?)" The sounds thumped outside our door, we did not know what to expect now.
"Shhhh! Somebody's coming, turn on more lights to get their attention, it could be helpful to us." Scarlet whispered.
I whispered back, arguing, "No, shut off all the lights! Trust me, I know this will be the right thing to do...."
"How would turning off all the lights when the strangers come nearby help us from being stranded here, rescue us and bring us over to Planet Vort, exactly?"
I paused, thinking of something good.
"Well, what??'
"Be-ca----uss---sse it-----'s fun to hide in the dark!" I smiled- -- '^_^'
'-_-' Scarlett replied using only that look. I peaked through the only window in the shack, but saw nothing but the color hazel.............I mean black! Black, black, black!! Sorry, since I was in my Irken form at the time, my vision kept changing the colors of things. Or maybe the color was really turquoise.....
"Oh please, SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!"
I thought this stranger was Irken, so for mine and Scarlett's sakes I opened the door slightly, pulled in the now-helpless green insect and slam the door all in just less than 3 seconds. He said something I did not bother to listen too, but instead with one spider leg, I was slicing his neck with a long butcher knife, one metal claw keeping his Irken claws behind his back, while my only real hand was choking him.. He was shivering to death, and I was upset about this. Not only was I upset, I was raging angry!!! I mean, out of all the strangers there for me to grab and break their blood red chain (I mean sky blue. Or was it eggplant...?), this bastard had to be an Irken!
A huge intensity of my muscle powers and raging anger from my human form came through my ugly ass hole body, and it made me twitch my eye like crazy. I was not myself anymore, but now a very ticked off, homicidally crazy jackass who keeps speaking in lies and outrages of the way things went. Watch:
"Don't you dare move a single antennae, you are under my arrests now!! Its either you tell me what Irken civilian are you and why you've come to my lair, or its time to slice your neck off, and saw off your vocal cords? Wouldn't that be nice?!? And don't you worry about the mess, I usually get every drop of blood destroyed in under 10 minutes! Aren't I fast? I've learned to speed clean back when I was a slave to that repulsive Zim, and to clean as a punishment whenever I didn't murder that Dib human!!!
He kicked me right on the shin (how dare he!!) and I growled in pain, in a mechanical way of growling with pieces of my horrible machinery supporting my unfortunate tongue and lower jaw, and wires down my throat to help my voice speak out. I had let go of the Stranger's neck and left it alone for about 10 minutes or so. After all, either though he was Irken and I wanted to kill him, Scarlett had taught me to give some of them respect, give them some time and space to explain themselves. But after that ever-lasting 10 minutes or so, the idiot kept his mouth shout, and I didn't even feel his goose bumps anymore, it was like he was calm, but didn't have the capability to say who he was. I was really outraged now.
"You dare kick me and didn't even explain yourself, after I've given you the chance!! You idiotic bitch!! I outta stab you right now before I tell my whole life's story! You stupid Irken should pitying yourself right now, for being one in the first place, HA!!"
My claw held my favorite knife, Mr. Bleeder, and with my spider legs I handcuffed the stranger 's hands behind his back. My hand was starting to touch and feel the skin of the loser on his neck, finding the perfect place to stab and slice so he'll truly have to suffer, but suffer quickly enough so I can bury him the sooner.
"Prepare to die a bloody and professionally freakish death, Irken! Or I'm not Irk's best assassin for ANY species, Irken J---Wait, whoa?! This skin of yours is so unusually smooth, but not skin cream smooth, but naturally...."
I did something the most incredibly unusual thing at that moment. I dropped the knife to the floor, and began to feel and touch his body, shaping the whole thing out and was shocked to see that this was no Irken I had grabbed in the darkness, or brightness. He was a lot more calmer now, as if he felt he can trust me now. My normal senses told me to pick up the damn blade already and get it over with, while a new sense indicated that I should keep doing this.
"Come on, Jil! Yeah, that's it...keep going, keep going... You're almost there, you just need more tiiiiiiiiime......!" My hand had now touched his, "3 fingers, like a typical Irken." I thought, but my hand raised up higher, and felt his bare arm instead of a glove and sleeve.
I rubbed a new substance, that had appeared to cover his eyes. "Pure unbreakable glass..." I had thought again. Then, up on top of his head, my hand was trying to shape out what was on top of this creature, "no antennas, no...", me said to I, "but horns."
And finally, I had my claw extend downward and felt the odd shape of the now-what-I-hadn't-expected legs. It was very freaky, very odd, indeed. Most creatures and beings in the Universe who had legs were perfectly straight, but bend-able in one way and one place. But this leg was no straight line, and it had, indeed, two knees. Two ways to bend each of them. I gasped for air, and breathed out:
"Just like me....."
Only one species I had learned about has this unique quality. Boy am I dumb, or what?
"Sorry, I should've known. I should've been more considerate of you screaming at the door, wanting nothing but help, and instead I gave you more of a scare for your life." I released him and walked away, finally picking up Mr. Bleeder and storing it back in my busted PAK on my way. Scarlett felt this was gonna be a private session for me and this mysterious male, so she hoped back into my PAK, too.
"Here, let me turn on the light, and don't be scarred....Its just a serious virus I have inside me...I will harm you no more." I turned on the light, and he turned around to see what I look like. He dropped his jaw down and widen his eyes just a bit, but he wasn't actually scared anymore, but more of a shocked/surprised feeling. I was happy to see that in him.
"Uhh..."
"The names Jil, Irken Jil, and I'm the greatest assassin known on Irk, and maybe with the rest of the Universe. I'm very young, but I'm smart and know my skills well, its just I have to live an awful life because of the Irkens and their society, and because of this evil virus destroying me day by day!!!
"I'm getting weaker and weaker by the hour, but I keep my confidence up by practicing my homicidal and martial arts skills. I've been trying to ask the Tallests if they can a new body for me from your people, since a body is expensive and very rare as it was. But they've denied me for my other secret of being taller than them, and sent me to Earth, where I had to work for Zim. And the rest you already know."
"Planet Earth? I've been there before," He said to me, "and that Dib child you talked about earlier sounds so familiar to me....And I definitely know that Zim jerk! He worked at Vort months ago, and ended up destroying my home planet, and blaming it all on me!!! I got fired and banned from ever working there again! But now I'm a Captain, and I lead a group of revolutionaries I order to end the Irken Empire and Operation Impending Doom Two!!!"
This guy hates Irkens too!? I was literally smiling at the sight of such a miracle, coming over to my shed!! And even better, he was a Vortian, and knew how to get me a new body!! And even better than the last thing I said, this guy's hot!! He looks so savvy, like a captain, and a shy, but firm and serious general for his rebellion army.
"Wow!! Destroying the Irken Empire is a vision in my life long dreams!! I've always wanted to gain vengeance from those green ants!! And why are you here anyhow? And whose sobbing outside my shed?"
"That's just Hermly, a jerk. A very creepy one, so to speak. But, I've come to seek directions to find the location of the Massive! It's part of an attack we're planning."
This night just keeps getting better and better!
"I just flew off that ship with my hover-board a couple of days ago! I can track it down for you and we can follow it!! Can I join your group, please...um, what do they call you?
"Oh! Lard Nar," He said, then adding, "Captain Lard Nar."
*sigh* Lard Nar....Sure, the first name made me think of that cow fat and puke, but that whole SOUL of it just rings bells and chimes into my mind. Those new senses I had earlier were still in me, and urged me to do stuff even more, but they told me to be patient. "Give him a chance, a space and time for introductions and get-to-know-you stages! You'll just have to wait, my friend. You'll just have to wait......."
"Please, Lard Nar? I've been an Irken all my life, I know a lot of secrets and major attacking projects they're up to for the Empire!! I can kill the whole Armada for you in just 15 minutes!! Without the use of lasers or bombs! I'm against them, too!! Just please understand that, yes, I have been one of them for all my life, but I'm different from the average Irken! Let me join your gang, you won't regret it one bit!!"
"Oh, I don't know, you are willing and all, but....."
I was getting down to the blues, but that didn't stop me from making another big mistake, or letting the other good of my soul make a mistake, just like last time.
"I'm no Irken spy! Trust me!!" She said, as with she knew exactly what Lard Nar was thinking. "I hate those Irkens down to the dark pits in my heart and swore, promised myself, cross my heart hope to die, stab a laser needle in my eye that I'll destroy those Irkens and never leave one living!
"Please?? Ever since I had to leave Earth for of my hate for Zim and the human species I've been lonely and willing to do something worthwhile!! Please?????" She bent down to the ground as best as she could with her deformed legs, and tried to make the puppy pout look.
I crossed my only existent fingers, and praying that he'll say yes. I'll do anything, and I mean anything, to get this Lard Nar more into my life, and to make me the happy joyful one I was long ago. And besides, I wanted new flesh, damn it! Either that or I'll have to hunt him down. And make him stay with me.
"Sorry, I just can't let you be on my side yet. But we'll wait and see. Maybe I'll see you later sometime. Thanks again for breaking the chain off of me, though.........Sorry."
Okay, now I have to hunt him down. Shit!! I did not wanted him to leave so soon, such a separation made me ache and my soul scream in agony. I was not gonna go through depression, personality-changing and starvation all over again. The end of that was now, and Lard Nar will be by companion and guide. Even if it'll take some worth while risks. I looked at a table nearby with all my futile stuff on it and grabbed a paper off of it.
"Wait!"
Lard Nar turned around, and remembered he had forgotten something. I sadly handed him the piece of paper in which he'll need for his journey. *sigh* If only I came with him then! I've always wondered why nobody will let me join their group or army or armada, and yet I'm probably the best solider they'll ever had, because I had such a skill of murder. Who knows?
"Here, the directions for your trip. Um.........Goodbye."
"Thanks, and goodbye to you, too."
He walked out of the shed and closed the door silently, but also painfully for me. Just minutes later, the front door opened, and a grayish-blueish laptop of the same model as Scarlett's (God forbid), except it was stuck inside a computer robot, and its spider legs crawled up to me, growling. I guessed that this was the 'Hermly' that Lard Nar mentioned earlier. The one whose in love with him.
Creepy bastard.
"Hey, you!! You evil, evil witch!! Where's Lard Nar? Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!? Where has my true love gone onto!? And you are ever so evil and you are a total bitch for breaking our love chain of the heavens!! Now you made Lard Nar and I upset, and now we can never be together ever again!! You evil witch! You evil bitch! BITCH! WITCH! BITCH! WITCH! BITCH!!!"
Creepy bastard, still!! I instantly took the move of first jumping on the top of the robot, crushing him flat, ripped off all his wires off with the technical power of my Irken jaw, and Scarlet helped by springing out of my PAK, and got out a bottle of water to add the dose of torture for Hermly with.
"Trust me, he never want to be involved with you in the first place, he's better off now, away in his ship and leading his army for war....for war....for warrrrrr!!!!"
"One thing's for certain, I wouldn't process my private computer data onto his system!!" Scarlett said, shuddering.
I looked at the window, and my new senses told me he saw it. And he had thanked me for it, in his own, secret way.
~ THE NEXT DAY ~
I wanted to leave this Meekrobian world now. I've had enough of it, the senses urged myself to go fly up in the sky, and hitchhike a ship until I found my new love of my life: Lard Nar! He was much better than Dib, he probably have more experiences fighting the Irkens than Dib had, being captain and all! Captains, so savvy, intelligent and heroic, but Lard Nar was determined to keep his leadership duty, and not look hot, sexy and muscular to impress others.
I fell into his spell even more farther and much longer than any other with the human boy, and his interests of not doing the typical Captain's game, plus he did not seem to have any girlfriends in the past. Good, I won't have to sacrifice any more lives of the feminine because of my jealously!
"Jil, will you stop daydreaming about your new boyfriend, and hitch this dump before the Massive leaves!!!"
I didn't know what happened to me then, but whatever it was, I must've been really out there.
"Irk to Jil! Earth to Jil!! Meekrob to Jil!! Vort to Jil!!!"
I started to shake and turn my head, finally coming back from vacation. "Whoa, whoa, what!?"
"Ahem!" She pointed with her metal thin tips from her keyboard just about 300 feet above my head, was the big red thing itself, with its huge black Irken face painted on the very front. Scarlett jumped into my PAK, and I got on my hover-board, flying to space.
"Wait, slow down! My hover-board's almost out of---"
We both shrieked and screamed before I could say it.
THUMP! CRASH!! BREAK!!! COLLAPSE!!!
Scarlet and I had fallen right through the metal surface of the ship, and landed on the filthy floor of the same garage I planned my escape on. And the bad news was, my hover-board broke in half. Oh.......
"Monkey's poopy pants! How am I suppose to go to Vort now?"
"Stop being such a idiot and let me handle it! Ever since you've upgraded to a maxim on my skill and personality drives, I've gathered data on how to fix up messes like this, and I even built myself my hands and feet! Didn't you notice I didn't have those before?"
"Fix it! While I'll sit here and think of an ingenious plan to find my love, make him love me and get my new body all at the same time! I'm changing to human and staying that way, my life rate on my Irken body is seriously close to death, or total destruction of my brain and all the cells on it, thus I go insane and melt into green, vomiting blob."
Scarlett looked at me with virtual shocking eyes and vibrated horrifyingly, "You're dying already? Jil, go up to the medical center of the ship, and bring out all the medication labeled "Parasital Killer and Virus Destruction Aid" on them and bring them here to me!! Let me check your pulse first....."
She thought this was gonna be bad for her to watch me die, and for me to have to suffer before I enjoy the dimension of love. I would've worried back when I was a killer at the cities on Planet Irk before I met Zim and the gang, but now I know what she didn't realize is, I've got my human form at perfect health rate, and when I die here I can just force myself, my brain and soul to switch back to human permanently. Very simple. But she just HAD to do something about it, even before she fixes my hover-board. Me first. Then stuff.
"Oh god......44 beats per minute, that isn't gonna do at all! Your life is at stake!!" She shoved me away, "Go, go, go!!"
"But I can just always transform into my human for when I'm--"
"I don't fucking care, just get there!" I went up there anyway with my human costume on, but I went to the garage, gathered the medicine and walked back there as slowly as possible, just to piss that system of numbers. But it was surprising to see my machine swear at me like that, and I think her hip, radical personality drive has gone over the limit, either that or I'm being to paranormal about science technology. They can be so Irken these days.
"I'm back!! Did you finish it? Huh? Huh? Is it all fixed and sparkling? Is it restored for me now to go to and marry Lard Nar and live happily ever after? HUH!?"
"Oh my god, it's been fifteen minutes since your last check! Take every single pill and drip of red medicine into your Irken self, now!"
I changed to human, and grudge, "Okay, fine....." I ate all of those disgusting pills. "BEEEEELCH!!!!"
"Good, good, those things should help the body at least restrain itself and give you about 2 weeks left to live in that hideous, rotting banana!!"
"Aww...How sad, I like bananas!! They're all so mushy and sweet!! And can become the moon, a phone and even a hand held gun! BANG! Bang, bang!"
"Then you shouldn't have to see what I found stuck inside your foldable hover transpiration device...."
She pulled up an ordinary, yellow banana that looked like a good, worth while snack. But it did something so unusual and horrifying to see that I--- just----can't-----AHH!!!!!!!!!
"Poor banana, Why did it have to---------melt awaaaaaay??? I ciried, 'tis a depressing sight. "It was such a delicious fruit....That sort of action against a fruit should never seize to exist ever again!!!!"
~ MINUTES LATER ~
"This is so boring!! I'm sick of this garage, we never have to go through crazy adventures! Plus it's too dark for my human eyes, and I don't want to be blind in both forms!"
"Oh come on, we might as well stay here, it's the only hiding spot to fix the board for you!"
"I still got some left stored in the freezer on the chef's deck! It's not like I would want to gain weight because I was BORED!!"
"We can always check out what the tallests are up to in the main control room! You can just disguise as one of the pilots." Scarlet had her personality drive uploaded when I deactivated her by mistake after the banana incident, but it was for the better of the machine!
"Nah...I hate those tall dorks so much!! And I bet they aren't doing much good for their Empire, anyway! I ain't doing it!!"
"There's a big window you can look through, like a TV."
".............Okee dokee!"
"Mmmmmm........sandwich....."
"AHH! UGGGH!!!" Scarlett pulled herself away from me. "Don't you know the difference between an advanced model of Irken laptop helper 4 and some goddamn sandwich?!"
"Well you would've actually tasted good sooner or later if you haven't started to budge and complain about it!! Besides, I was merely biting you, and carving teeth marks on your mouse."
"You chewed off half the keys off my keyboard, and vomited them out and then glued them back on to me using your own drool! You call that merely biting?!"
"You don't understand my senses of starvation, and I don't understand your on-going deserted insanity! So there's no reason why we should---"
"Thumpity, thump thump! Thumpity, thumpity, thump, thump, THUMP! Clicklity click-click clack CLOOK!!!!!! (clook?)" The sounds thumped outside our door, we did not know what to expect now.
"Shhhh! Somebody's coming, turn on more lights to get their attention, it could be helpful to us." Scarlet whispered.
I whispered back, arguing, "No, shut off all the lights! Trust me, I know this will be the right thing to do...."
"How would turning off all the lights when the strangers come nearby help us from being stranded here, rescue us and bring us over to Planet Vort, exactly?"
I paused, thinking of something good.
"Well, what??'
"Be-ca----uss---sse it-----'s fun to hide in the dark!" I smiled- -- '^_^'
'-_-' Scarlett replied using only that look. I peaked through the only window in the shack, but saw nothing but the color hazel.............I mean black! Black, black, black!! Sorry, since I was in my Irken form at the time, my vision kept changing the colors of things. Or maybe the color was really turquoise.....
"Oh please, SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!"
I thought this stranger was Irken, so for mine and Scarlett's sakes I opened the door slightly, pulled in the now-helpless green insect and slam the door all in just less than 3 seconds. He said something I did not bother to listen too, but instead with one spider leg, I was slicing his neck with a long butcher knife, one metal claw keeping his Irken claws behind his back, while my only real hand was choking him.. He was shivering to death, and I was upset about this. Not only was I upset, I was raging angry!!! I mean, out of all the strangers there for me to grab and break their blood red chain (I mean sky blue. Or was it eggplant...?), this bastard had to be an Irken!
A huge intensity of my muscle powers and raging anger from my human form came through my ugly ass hole body, and it made me twitch my eye like crazy. I was not myself anymore, but now a very ticked off, homicidally crazy jackass who keeps speaking in lies and outrages of the way things went. Watch:
"Don't you dare move a single antennae, you are under my arrests now!! Its either you tell me what Irken civilian are you and why you've come to my lair, or its time to slice your neck off, and saw off your vocal cords? Wouldn't that be nice?!? And don't you worry about the mess, I usually get every drop of blood destroyed in under 10 minutes! Aren't I fast? I've learned to speed clean back when I was a slave to that repulsive Zim, and to clean as a punishment whenever I didn't murder that Dib human!!!
He kicked me right on the shin (how dare he!!) and I growled in pain, in a mechanical way of growling with pieces of my horrible machinery supporting my unfortunate tongue and lower jaw, and wires down my throat to help my voice speak out. I had let go of the Stranger's neck and left it alone for about 10 minutes or so. After all, either though he was Irken and I wanted to kill him, Scarlett had taught me to give some of them respect, give them some time and space to explain themselves. But after that ever-lasting 10 minutes or so, the idiot kept his mouth shout, and I didn't even feel his goose bumps anymore, it was like he was calm, but didn't have the capability to say who he was. I was really outraged now.
"You dare kick me and didn't even explain yourself, after I've given you the chance!! You idiotic bitch!! I outta stab you right now before I tell my whole life's story! You stupid Irken should pitying yourself right now, for being one in the first place, HA!!"
My claw held my favorite knife, Mr. Bleeder, and with my spider legs I handcuffed the stranger 's hands behind his back. My hand was starting to touch and feel the skin of the loser on his neck, finding the perfect place to stab and slice so he'll truly have to suffer, but suffer quickly enough so I can bury him the sooner.
"Prepare to die a bloody and professionally freakish death, Irken! Or I'm not Irk's best assassin for ANY species, Irken J---Wait, whoa?! This skin of yours is so unusually smooth, but not skin cream smooth, but naturally...."
I did something the most incredibly unusual thing at that moment. I dropped the knife to the floor, and began to feel and touch his body, shaping the whole thing out and was shocked to see that this was no Irken I had grabbed in the darkness, or brightness. He was a lot more calmer now, as if he felt he can trust me now. My normal senses told me to pick up the damn blade already and get it over with, while a new sense indicated that I should keep doing this.
"Come on, Jil! Yeah, that's it...keep going, keep going... You're almost there, you just need more tiiiiiiiiime......!" My hand had now touched his, "3 fingers, like a typical Irken." I thought, but my hand raised up higher, and felt his bare arm instead of a glove and sleeve.
I rubbed a new substance, that had appeared to cover his eyes. "Pure unbreakable glass..." I had thought again. Then, up on top of his head, my hand was trying to shape out what was on top of this creature, "no antennas, no...", me said to I, "but horns."
And finally, I had my claw extend downward and felt the odd shape of the now-what-I-hadn't-expected legs. It was very freaky, very odd, indeed. Most creatures and beings in the Universe who had legs were perfectly straight, but bend-able in one way and one place. But this leg was no straight line, and it had, indeed, two knees. Two ways to bend each of them. I gasped for air, and breathed out:
"Just like me....."
Only one species I had learned about has this unique quality. Boy am I dumb, or what?
"Sorry, I should've known. I should've been more considerate of you screaming at the door, wanting nothing but help, and instead I gave you more of a scare for your life." I released him and walked away, finally picking up Mr. Bleeder and storing it back in my busted PAK on my way. Scarlett felt this was gonna be a private session for me and this mysterious male, so she hoped back into my PAK, too.
"Here, let me turn on the light, and don't be scarred....Its just a serious virus I have inside me...I will harm you no more." I turned on the light, and he turned around to see what I look like. He dropped his jaw down and widen his eyes just a bit, but he wasn't actually scared anymore, but more of a shocked/surprised feeling. I was happy to see that in him.
"Uhh..."
"The names Jil, Irken Jil, and I'm the greatest assassin known on Irk, and maybe with the rest of the Universe. I'm very young, but I'm smart and know my skills well, its just I have to live an awful life because of the Irkens and their society, and because of this evil virus destroying me day by day!!!
"I'm getting weaker and weaker by the hour, but I keep my confidence up by practicing my homicidal and martial arts skills. I've been trying to ask the Tallests if they can a new body for me from your people, since a body is expensive and very rare as it was. But they've denied me for my other secret of being taller than them, and sent me to Earth, where I had to work for Zim. And the rest you already know."
"Planet Earth? I've been there before," He said to me, "and that Dib child you talked about earlier sounds so familiar to me....And I definitely know that Zim jerk! He worked at Vort months ago, and ended up destroying my home planet, and blaming it all on me!!! I got fired and banned from ever working there again! But now I'm a Captain, and I lead a group of revolutionaries I order to end the Irken Empire and Operation Impending Doom Two!!!"
This guy hates Irkens too!? I was literally smiling at the sight of such a miracle, coming over to my shed!! And even better, he was a Vortian, and knew how to get me a new body!! And even better than the last thing I said, this guy's hot!! He looks so savvy, like a captain, and a shy, but firm and serious general for his rebellion army.
"Wow!! Destroying the Irken Empire is a vision in my life long dreams!! I've always wanted to gain vengeance from those green ants!! And why are you here anyhow? And whose sobbing outside my shed?"
"That's just Hermly, a jerk. A very creepy one, so to speak. But, I've come to seek directions to find the location of the Massive! It's part of an attack we're planning."
This night just keeps getting better and better!
"I just flew off that ship with my hover-board a couple of days ago! I can track it down for you and we can follow it!! Can I join your group, please...um, what do they call you?
"Oh! Lard Nar," He said, then adding, "Captain Lard Nar."
*sigh* Lard Nar....Sure, the first name made me think of that cow fat and puke, but that whole SOUL of it just rings bells and chimes into my mind. Those new senses I had earlier were still in me, and urged me to do stuff even more, but they told me to be patient. "Give him a chance, a space and time for introductions and get-to-know-you stages! You'll just have to wait, my friend. You'll just have to wait......."
"Please, Lard Nar? I've been an Irken all my life, I know a lot of secrets and major attacking projects they're up to for the Empire!! I can kill the whole Armada for you in just 15 minutes!! Without the use of lasers or bombs! I'm against them, too!! Just please understand that, yes, I have been one of them for all my life, but I'm different from the average Irken! Let me join your gang, you won't regret it one bit!!"
"Oh, I don't know, you are willing and all, but....."
I was getting down to the blues, but that didn't stop me from making another big mistake, or letting the other good of my soul make a mistake, just like last time.
"I'm no Irken spy! Trust me!!" She said, as with she knew exactly what Lard Nar was thinking. "I hate those Irkens down to the dark pits in my heart and swore, promised myself, cross my heart hope to die, stab a laser needle in my eye that I'll destroy those Irkens and never leave one living!
"Please?? Ever since I had to leave Earth for of my hate for Zim and the human species I've been lonely and willing to do something worthwhile!! Please?????" She bent down to the ground as best as she could with her deformed legs, and tried to make the puppy pout look.
I crossed my only existent fingers, and praying that he'll say yes. I'll do anything, and I mean anything, to get this Lard Nar more into my life, and to make me the happy joyful one I was long ago. And besides, I wanted new flesh, damn it! Either that or I'll have to hunt him down. And make him stay with me.
"Sorry, I just can't let you be on my side yet. But we'll wait and see. Maybe I'll see you later sometime. Thanks again for breaking the chain off of me, though.........Sorry."
Okay, now I have to hunt him down. Shit!! I did not wanted him to leave so soon, such a separation made me ache and my soul scream in agony. I was not gonna go through depression, personality-changing and starvation all over again. The end of that was now, and Lard Nar will be by companion and guide. Even if it'll take some worth while risks. I looked at a table nearby with all my futile stuff on it and grabbed a paper off of it.
"Wait!"
Lard Nar turned around, and remembered he had forgotten something. I sadly handed him the piece of paper in which he'll need for his journey. *sigh* If only I came with him then! I've always wondered why nobody will let me join their group or army or armada, and yet I'm probably the best solider they'll ever had, because I had such a skill of murder. Who knows?
"Here, the directions for your trip. Um.........Goodbye."
"Thanks, and goodbye to you, too."
He walked out of the shed and closed the door silently, but also painfully for me. Just minutes later, the front door opened, and a grayish-blueish laptop of the same model as Scarlett's (God forbid), except it was stuck inside a computer robot, and its spider legs crawled up to me, growling. I guessed that this was the 'Hermly' that Lard Nar mentioned earlier. The one whose in love with him.
Creepy bastard.
"Hey, you!! You evil, evil witch!! Where's Lard Nar? Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!? Where has my true love gone onto!? And you are ever so evil and you are a total bitch for breaking our love chain of the heavens!! Now you made Lard Nar and I upset, and now we can never be together ever again!! You evil witch! You evil bitch! BITCH! WITCH! BITCH! WITCH! BITCH!!!"
Creepy bastard, still!! I instantly took the move of first jumping on the top of the robot, crushing him flat, ripped off all his wires off with the technical power of my Irken jaw, and Scarlet helped by springing out of my PAK, and got out a bottle of water to add the dose of torture for Hermly with.
"Trust me, he never want to be involved with you in the first place, he's better off now, away in his ship and leading his army for war....for war....for warrrrrr!!!!"
"One thing's for certain, I wouldn't process my private computer data onto his system!!" Scarlett said, shuddering.
I looked at the window, and my new senses told me he saw it. And he had thanked me for it, in his own, secret way.
~ THE NEXT DAY ~
I wanted to leave this Meekrobian world now. I've had enough of it, the senses urged myself to go fly up in the sky, and hitchhike a ship until I found my new love of my life: Lard Nar! He was much better than Dib, he probably have more experiences fighting the Irkens than Dib had, being captain and all! Captains, so savvy, intelligent and heroic, but Lard Nar was determined to keep his leadership duty, and not look hot, sexy and muscular to impress others.
I fell into his spell even more farther and much longer than any other with the human boy, and his interests of not doing the typical Captain's game, plus he did not seem to have any girlfriends in the past. Good, I won't have to sacrifice any more lives of the feminine because of my jealously!
"Jil, will you stop daydreaming about your new boyfriend, and hitch this dump before the Massive leaves!!!"
I didn't know what happened to me then, but whatever it was, I must've been really out there.
"Irk to Jil! Earth to Jil!! Meekrob to Jil!! Vort to Jil!!!"
I started to shake and turn my head, finally coming back from vacation. "Whoa, whoa, what!?"
"Ahem!" She pointed with her metal thin tips from her keyboard just about 300 feet above my head, was the big red thing itself, with its huge black Irken face painted on the very front. Scarlett jumped into my PAK, and I got on my hover-board, flying to space.
"Wait, slow down! My hover-board's almost out of---"
We both shrieked and screamed before I could say it.
THUMP! CRASH!! BREAK!!! COLLAPSE!!!
Scarlet and I had fallen right through the metal surface of the ship, and landed on the filthy floor of the same garage I planned my escape on. And the bad news was, my hover-board broke in half. Oh.......
"Monkey's poopy pants! How am I suppose to go to Vort now?"
"Stop being such a idiot and let me handle it! Ever since you've upgraded to a maxim on my skill and personality drives, I've gathered data on how to fix up messes like this, and I even built myself my hands and feet! Didn't you notice I didn't have those before?"
"Fix it! While I'll sit here and think of an ingenious plan to find my love, make him love me and get my new body all at the same time! I'm changing to human and staying that way, my life rate on my Irken body is seriously close to death, or total destruction of my brain and all the cells on it, thus I go insane and melt into green, vomiting blob."
Scarlett looked at me with virtual shocking eyes and vibrated horrifyingly, "You're dying already? Jil, go up to the medical center of the ship, and bring out all the medication labeled "Parasital Killer and Virus Destruction Aid" on them and bring them here to me!! Let me check your pulse first....."
She thought this was gonna be bad for her to watch me die, and for me to have to suffer before I enjoy the dimension of love. I would've worried back when I was a killer at the cities on Planet Irk before I met Zim and the gang, but now I know what she didn't realize is, I've got my human form at perfect health rate, and when I die here I can just force myself, my brain and soul to switch back to human permanently. Very simple. But she just HAD to do something about it, even before she fixes my hover-board. Me first. Then stuff.
"Oh god......44 beats per minute, that isn't gonna do at all! Your life is at stake!!" She shoved me away, "Go, go, go!!"
"But I can just always transform into my human for when I'm--"
"I don't fucking care, just get there!" I went up there anyway with my human costume on, but I went to the garage, gathered the medicine and walked back there as slowly as possible, just to piss that system of numbers. But it was surprising to see my machine swear at me like that, and I think her hip, radical personality drive has gone over the limit, either that or I'm being to paranormal about science technology. They can be so Irken these days.
"I'm back!! Did you finish it? Huh? Huh? Is it all fixed and sparkling? Is it restored for me now to go to and marry Lard Nar and live happily ever after? HUH!?"
"Oh my god, it's been fifteen minutes since your last check! Take every single pill and drip of red medicine into your Irken self, now!"
I changed to human, and grudge, "Okay, fine....." I ate all of those disgusting pills. "BEEEEELCH!!!!"
"Good, good, those things should help the body at least restrain itself and give you about 2 weeks left to live in that hideous, rotting banana!!"
"Aww...How sad, I like bananas!! They're all so mushy and sweet!! And can become the moon, a phone and even a hand held gun! BANG! Bang, bang!"
"Then you shouldn't have to see what I found stuck inside your foldable hover transpiration device...."
She pulled up an ordinary, yellow banana that looked like a good, worth while snack. But it did something so unusual and horrifying to see that I--- just----can't-----AHH!!!!!!!!!
"Poor banana, Why did it have to---------melt awaaaaaay??? I ciried, 'tis a depressing sight. "It was such a delicious fruit....That sort of action against a fruit should never seize to exist ever again!!!!"
~ MINUTES LATER ~
"This is so boring!! I'm sick of this garage, we never have to go through crazy adventures! Plus it's too dark for my human eyes, and I don't want to be blind in both forms!"
"Oh come on, we might as well stay here, it's the only hiding spot to fix the board for you!"
"I still got some left stored in the freezer on the chef's deck! It's not like I would want to gain weight because I was BORED!!"
"We can always check out what the tallests are up to in the main control room! You can just disguise as one of the pilots." Scarlet had her personality drive uploaded when I deactivated her by mistake after the banana incident, but it was for the better of the machine!
"Nah...I hate those tall dorks so much!! And I bet they aren't doing much good for their Empire, anyway! I ain't doing it!!"
"There's a big window you can look through, like a TV."
".............Okee dokee!"
