Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters you recognize from the Tamora Pierce books

A/N Hey I'm back again! Thanks to all my reviewers! It means a lot that u took the time to review! Srry I haven't updated a lot but I've been busy with school and I have lacrosse 3 times a week. . . Also, we just got back from Spring Break so I can't be lazy anymore! My spring break was lot's of fun I saw the Prince and Me, which I thought was such a sweet movie, went to Bush Gardens even though it's like 3 hours away from my house, and I went to the Maryland vs., Navy lacrosse game! Maryland lost tear L Oh also about the italics I didn't mean for that to happen it just kinda did. I'm not sure how to fix it seeing as when I uploaded it, it wasn't like that! If you have any suggestions e-mail me or put it in a review! Also, in case you were wondering or didn't figure it out this is right after Lioness Rampant before Alanna and George have married and before Jon and Thayet have married. Well here's the next chapter. . .

Chapter 4: This can't be happening

Alanna looked around the room. On her right sat George and seated on her left was Myles. Next to Myles sat Gary and Buri. Across the table sat the Provest (A/N Is that right I'm not exactly sure what to call him?) Duke Gareth, Duke Baird, and Raoul. Jon sat at the head of the table with Thayet next to him. Everyone had a look of a confusion on their face, except for Jon, he just looked distant, and George, who looked grim. Even though he new that the news was bad he still looked so composed so kingly. She could never tell him but it was at times like these that she was truly in awe of him. How he handled everything so smoothly. As Jon cleared his throat, everyone in the room fell silent. Alanna's could not shake the feeling that there was something important coming. Something she had to do. "Ugh can he just tell us the bad news already the suspense is really getting to me," she thought.

"I know most of you are wondering why I've called this meeting but I'm afraid there is some bad news. George," he nodded his head signaling George to report the news.

"I've just come back from a scouting mission in Tuisane and it seems that they are preparing for a war. And all my reports say they want revenge on us. I know we thought after winning the Drell Valley War we would finally be at peace, but it seems they are getting outside help. Helping them are the Copper Isles. They have not declared war yet but we believe it is only a matter of time. The Copper Islanders are quite angry with the death of their Princess Josiane. They want revenge on Tortall, especially you Alanna."

"Me, they are going to declare war on us because I defended myself against that crazy woman. How dare they, do they know she killed Faithful and Master Si-cham she deserved to die," Alanna said angrily.

"Calm down Alanna, no one here blames you it's just an excuse for them to declare war," Duke Gareth said.

"My decision I've come to on this matter is we need to avoid war at all costs. Tortall is not ready we are still dealing with the aftermath of the coronation. We have only recently caught the rest of the rebels, the palace is still being re-modeled, and we do not have the funding for this war or the men. Many are still injured or are healing they need rest. We will schedule peace talks and each night there will a ball. And hopefully we can prevent this war," said Jon.

"I'll inform the Master of Protocol (Can't remember his name)," Gary suggested.

"I'll go tell the Own to start preparing just in case these peace talks don't work. Do some extra training to keep them ready," Raoul said as he excused himself.

"The rest of you are free to go," Jon said.

"That was a short meeting," George whispered to Alanna.

"Were you expecting it to last longer?" she questioned.

"I didn't expect Jon to come up with a solution so quick, it's like he knew it was coming."

"Hmm," was all Alanna said.

"Are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine," Alanna said vaguely.

"You seem distant," George said concerned.

"I just have a bad feeling about all of this like there's a black cloud hanging over us."

"Have you had a warning from the goddess?"

"No, this is just my instinct, it's probably nothing."

"Alright, is that all?"

"Yeah I'm fine George."

"Ok," he said and started to kiss her.

Alanna pulled back, "I have to go. I'll see you at dinner."

"I'll be there," said George a worried look on his face.

Alanna quickly walked to the stables and mounted Moonlight. The pink and orange sky passed by quickly in front of her it was all just a blur just like the rest of the world. She couldn't figure this out. Why couldn't she kiss George? Why was she trying to distance herself from him? She loved him, didn't she? But a pair of sapphire blue eyes were haunting her thoughts. Alanna just sat watching the sunset. The bright colors scattered in the sky. All the colors, there weren't even words to describe the beauty of it. How something as simple as a sunset could take the breathe out of her body. Everyone knows the beauty of a sunset, but when it leaves you feel a sort of emptiness. You miss the warmth and comfort of it, the sun shining in the sky. Sure, you think it will always be there but what would happen if it just stopped. What if the sun just went away? And then it never came back. The world turned dark and cold but then you got used to it. The pain of the suns leaving is gone you're content again, in a world of darkness. You find the night sky is just as beautiful. The shimmering black blue, stars shining in the sky. You find a new comfort one that you feel safe in all that darkness. But then you have a chance to get the sun back, but the stars and the darkness would leave forever. Which would you pick? "This shouldn't be this hard," thought Alanna furiously. "What I had with Jonathon is over it could never be again. Then why am I still thinking about him?"

[Mandy] Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving I don't know why
So many questions....Need an answer
Two years later your still on my mind . . .

Jonathon sat in the conference room still, Thayet's head resting on his shoulder. Why couldn't he just be happy? He had a beautiful woman willing to marry him and that should have been enough. But she's no Alanna the treacherous part of his mind thought. "I just have to stop thinking about her, she said herself she doesn't love me. But that could change, you know how stubborn she is, she just won't admit it. This is just too frustrating, I cannot even handle her being any where near George. Whenever I see them together this uncontrollable rage just rises in me, I should be happy for him, he's my friend but I'm not," thought Jon silently. Sure, he and George had a lot in common something that made them good friends , but he just wasn't Alanna. She was always the best friend he ever had. They had always been there for each other. She had saved his life countless times and he had helped to save her life twice. "I know she's mad at me, she didn't say a word to me the whole meeting."

"Jon," Thayet said interrupting his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure, you just seem really distant lately."

"I'm sure."

She sensed that he didn't want to talk anymore and he appreciated it. "Do you mind if I go talk to Buri?"

"No go ahead"

"Bye," she said as she kissed him softly and walked out of the door. Jonathon just sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked out the window it was already dark. He just sat starring at the endless dark blue sky filled with sparkling white specs.



[Jonathan] Whatever happened to Amelia Airheart?
Who hold the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?

[Both] Did the captain of Titanic cry?

Alanna still sat on her horse just starring into the sky. "Life used to be simple, she thought. "Probably more boring too," a voice said in her head that sounded remarkably like Faithful. That brought tears to her eyes, remembering him, her faithful companion. How she wished Faithful were here right now, he always helped her so much. Things would be clearer and she might not feel so sorry for herself. Thinking of Faithful turned her thoughts to Thom. Ever since he died Alanna felt as if a part of her was missing, her other half. She missed Liam too. When she'd wake up early in morning readying herself for a lesson with the Shang Dragon she had to remind herself that he was dead too. Why did everyone she cared about have to die on her? "At least I still have Jonathon. No, I cannot think about him. I have George who I love dearly. Jonathon has Thayet. That's how it's meant to be or fate would have made it different," Alanna thought sadly.

Oh, Someday we'll know
[Mandy] If love can move mountain
[Both] Someday we'll know
[Jonathan] Why the sky is blue
[Both] Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...

Jonathon got up out of the chair and walked out the door. He didn't pay attention to wear he was going, he just walked. When he stoped he realized he had wandered into the gardens. In front of him was a bench. The bright yellow moon shining brightly high up in the sky above. It casted a beam of light upon the bench, lighting up the whole area. Jonathon remembered a time many years ago he had spent at this very bench and it wretched his heart.

Flashback

He was waiting for her beside the bench whereshe had left her cloak.

"Hullo," he said casually, holding the garment up. "I think this is yours."

Alanna slid the wig from her hair. "How did you know it was me Jonathon?"

He came forward, taking one of her hands in his. "I guessed. And then I saw how you walked and I was sure."

Alanna made a face. "Mistress Cooper tries to cure me of walking like a boy, but it doesn't seem to take."

Jonathon lifted the gold charm of her throat, examining it. "What's this?" he asked. His voice was soft and warm.

"It's a charm to--- keep me from having children," she stammered. "Mistress Cooper gave it to me a---a long time ago."

Jon chuckled. "Have you ever tried it out?" he asked putting his free arm around her. Alanna braced herself against his chest.

Jonathon stopped kissing her, only to stop unlacing her bodice.

Alanna shoved him away a terrified expression on her face. "No!" she gasped, grabbing her laces. "I was crazy to think--- Jonathon please!"

The Prince realizing she was trembling, her hands shaking too badly to lace herself. He shook his head and did the work for her.

"You're fighting what has to be," he said, "and you know it as well as I do."

"I---I know no such thing," she stammered. "I promised myself once that I'd never love a man! Maybe I almost broke that promise just now because of moonlight and silliness---"

"Stop it," he told her sternly. He made her look up at him. "We belong to each other. Is that silliness? Surely you've realized all along this had to happen." When she did not answer, he sighed. "Go away, before I change my mind.

end of flashback

Jonathon sighed at the memory. She had been scared of love then, but he won her heart eventually.

flashback

She rapped on the door between their rooms. "Jon?"

He opened the door. His eyes were bright as he looked at her. Alanna swallowed. "I'm scared. Help me, please."

Jonathon's voice was rough as he said, "I'm scared, too. At least we can be scarred together,"

End of flashback

And then he let his pride and stuborness loose it all. How he regretted that day in the desert. They had both lost their tempers and called each other unforgivable things. He had called her un-feminine and she had called him spoiled. All this was because he wasn't willing to wait to marry Alanna. Jonathon started walking again but he kept coming back to the bench as if it would change things. Make them the way they were before their fight before he was king.

[Mandy] Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
[Jonathan] What the wind says when she cries?
[Mandy] I'm speeding by the place that I met you

[Both] For the ninety-seventh time...Tonight

Alanna thought of times before the Coronation rebelion when she and Jon were happy together. That one day in the desert changed everything. It broke things beyond repair. And that scared her. She never wanted to loose Jon's friendship. After their first fight, they didn't talk for months. She moved on to George and then to Liam. He moved on as well. And then when she came back with Thayet he seemed to fall in love with her. He would be happy with Thayet, not like how he'd feel if he married her. Alanna knew if they were married, they probably would hate each other within weeks. Both of them were to stuborn and like having their own way. And Jon was King, Alanna wasn't ready to be Queen and deal with the responsibilities that came with it. There was no way she and Jon could be married a live happily especially since he is the King. Thayet on the other hand would make a perfect Queen. Wasn't it her idea in the first place to set them up?

Someday we'll know
[Mandy] If love can move mountain

[Both] Someday we'll know
[Jonathan] Why the sky is blue
[Both] Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

"Why is she so scared?" thought Jon. "She doesn't see I love her. That we were meant for each other. I've always known that, felt that. And there was a time when she felt like that too! Why can't we go back to that. . . Before it's too late."

Someday we'll know
[Jonathan] Why Sampson loved Dalilah?
[Both] One day I'll go
[Mandy] Dancing on the moon
[Both] Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you....

"It's too late," thought Alanna bitterly. "I love him. I don't know why it's taken this long for me to realize it, but I do. Why else would I feel this way. I've finally found the one thing that I'd lost but I can never have it. Why does this have to happen to me? I love him, gods I do so much! I want to be with him but it's just not meant to be,"

[Both] Open up the world

[Mandy] I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow

[Jonathan] Watched the stars crash in the sea

[Mandy] If I can ask God just one question

[Both] Why aren't you here with me tonight?

Oh, Someday we'll know
[Jonathan] If love can move a mountain
[Both] Someday we'll know
[Mandy] Why the sky is blue
[Both] Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

"Mithros, Great Mother Goddess please let her realize I love her before I make the biggest mistake of my life. Or else she'll never know just how much I love her. . ."

Someday we'll know
[Jonathan] Why Sampson loved Dalilah
[Both] One day I'll go
[Mandy] Dancing on the moon
[Both] Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you....

A/N There you go a nice long chapter I think. Sorry if that's a bit confusing it goes back and forth between Jon and Alanna's poit of view. Oh and in the flashbacks there not exactly like the book because I left out how Alanna was feeling cuz Jon can't read her mind and it's his flashback. Oh and sorry about any grammar and spelling issues it's pretty late at night and I'm a bit tiered. Uh oh George and Thayet suspect somethings wrong they may have to spend some quality time together trying to figure out what's wrong. LOL! And a ball coming up that should be interesting. Oh if you were wondering the song was Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore and Jonathon Foreman.(No Jon wasn't singing randomly they just happen to have the same name.) Please review tell me what you think if you want it to stay A/J suggestions for further chapters anything really just review! Wow this is my longest chapter yet 7 pages!