Naruto – Viva La Bam Style

A/N: Ah! Finally finished my other Naruto fic, so I can continue with this one. I don't know whether I'm better at writing angst or humor, but I do know that humor is much more fun to write. Thanks reviewers for your support, encouragement, and ideas! You all make me so happy. ^_^ ACK, sorry this is out so late, guys. I was kinda unhappy with this chapter too, which may have contributed to its lateness. Sorry if it blows! :/

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto. Just borrowing them for my story. I don't own Viva La Bam either...

Part Four. Condoms and Whipped Cream. By bleedformeee.

[8:49 pm. cont.]

"Okay, let's see... What to do, what to do...?" Ino wondered aloud. Shikamaru blanched, dreading whatever it was that she would inevitably make him do. He fumbled with the brown paper bag in his hands. 'What am I going to do with this random shit?' He wondered.

"How about you do something this time, Ino?" Chouji suggested.

"Yeah, how about that?" Shikamaru asked, "I'd say it's your turn about now."

"No way. These things are embarra- I mean... Yeah, I'll do something next time. You do one more thing. I'll even help you with this one, and then I'll do something next, all by myself. I promise." She said as she dropped her left hand behind her back, middle and index fingers crossed.

"Okay, fine, but you promised. So what are we doing?"

"Number 32. C'mon, Chouji!" Ino led them back into the store they had just escaped from. Ino grabbed the bag out of Shikamaru's grip and surveyed its contents. She pulled out the pack of condoms, opened the box, pulled out a few of the packets, and thrust them into Shikamaru's hands. Shikamaru looked at the packets and then gave a questioning look to Ino.

"What're these for?" Shikamaru questioned.

Ino giggled. "I can think of a few uses."

"Er- that's not what I mean, Ino. I know what they're used for, but why did you give them to me?" Shikamaru blushed.

"Blow them up."

"What?!?"

"Just do it. Get ready to take pictures, Chouji."

She pulled out the whipped cream and climbed up onto the ice cream freezer next to the store's entrance. She motioned for Shikamaru to join her. She uncapped the can and then proceeded to spray the cream in every direction. Shikamaru blew up one of the condoms, and handed it to Ino.

"Let it fly!" She directed, giggling and showering him with cream.

Soon, the store- and the genins- were covered in whipped cream, and the floor was littered with condom balloons. Needless to say, the manager of the store was very upset and chased the three ninjas for three blocks before he returned to his store to repair the damage. Fortunately, Chouji had obtained plenty of photo evidence.

Ino collapsed against the alley wall, breathing hard. "That was close!" She said, trying to catch her breath.

"What the hell did we just do?" Shikamaru managed to choke out.

"Number 32, get kicked out of a store, 20 points."

-x-

[9:12 pm.]

"Whoa, come get a load of this," Asuma instructed from his place by the window, a grin dominated his face. Kakashi and Kurenai joined him and followed his gaze to the spot where a blond-haired shinobi and pink-haired kunoichi were doubled over in laughter. An angry-looking dark-haired shinobi had just returned from what must have been a long run. Muttering to himself, he snatched his pants up and stumbled around while he attempted to clothe himself.

Kurenai giggled. "Oh wow. I wonder how they convinced him to run sans pants. If it were me, I wouldn't have consented so easily."

"Yeah, well, Sasuke is rather competitive. It probably wasn't too hard to persuade him," Kakashi said. "Plus, it would have been more funny if he had to run without any clothes at all."

"Confessing your fantasies, eh, Kakashi?" Kurenai joked.

"I'm hungry. Let's go get some food." Kakashi changed the subject.

"Me too. So where are we going?" Asuma questioned.

-x-

Kiba, Shino, and Hinata walked across the park to where team seven was stationed. Sasuke was fumbling with his pants. In his apparent embarrassment and anger he was having a hard time buttoning them. Kiba joined in on Naruto and Sakura's laughter. Sasuke shot him a bitter look. Kiba turned back to Naruto.

"So how many points do you guys have so far? I bet we're winning."

"Like we'd tell you," Sasuke said coldly.

"90! 90 Points! BEAT THAT YOU STUPID PUPPY!" Naruto shouted.

"What? How could you guys possibly have that many points? You're the loser team. Shit, let's go, Shino, Hinata-chan. We have to go get more points!" Kiba took off, Shino and Hinata in tow.

-x-

"Damn it, Naruto! Why did you tell them how many points we had?"

"I told them earlier that we'd definitely win. I had to prove to him that we're better." Naruto defended.

"Yes, but now they're going to work even harder to beat us!" Sasuke growled.

"Oh yeah."

"Dumbass."

-x-

"Shit, shit, shit. We're losing to the losers. How could this happen? What are we gonna do, guys?" Kiba worried. Before either Shino or Hinata could answer, Kiba brightened. "I know! We'll do the task that's worth the most points! Then we'll definitely catch up!"

"Good idea, Kiba-kun," Hinata praised.

"Let's see, the most points is for number 47, Get a math problem tattoo, 40 points. Okay, Shino, this one's all you."

"I don't think so." Shino replied.

"But you haven't done anything yet. It's about your turn."

"Yeah, and I also don't care. So if you want the points, do it yourself." Shino replied, as calm as ever.

"And I'm assuming Hinata doesn't want to get a tattoo..." The meek girl lowered her pearly eyes and shook her head. "Okay, fine, I'll do it. Let's go." The three headed off in the direction of the Konoha Tattoo Shop.

-x-

"Okay, Naruto, it's your turn again. We'll take turns, you then me, got it? Now pick a number." Sasuke growled after he had finally managed to clothe himself.

"Hmm, okay, number 9," Naruto decided.

Sakura scanned the list, read his choice, and giggled. "This will be fun. Follow me, boys."

-x-

Kiba slumped into the worn and sweaty seat of the dingy tattoo parlor. As he made himself more comfortable, he prayed that his team would win the scavenger hunt so that he would not be getting a tattoo in vain. A heavy- set, tattoo-covered man pulled up a seat next to him to explain the process. However, his speech was interrupted.

"Ex-excuse me, Kiba-kun."

"Yes, Hinata-chan?"

"D-do you really have to do this? I-I mean, this is k-kinda drastic... and well... c-couldn't you just get a h-henna tattoo instead?" Hinata suggested.

"Henna?" Kiba questioned.

"Y-yeah... it s-says on the sign the do henna t-tattoos here, and th-they wash off..."

"Wash off? Why didn't you say so? Excuse me, Mr. Tattoo Man, but I want a henna tattoo instead."

The man grunted, angry that he had taken out his needles for nothing, and retrieved his henna kit. Shortly after, the three genins exited the shop, Kiba proudly sporting on his arm a 2+2=4 tattoo.

-x-

Sakura stopped in front of Konoha's largest lingerie store, Sassy Sensations. The two boys that accompanied her exchanged worried glances. Well, more like one worried glance and one teasing smirk.

"Mmk, Naruto. Number 9, Hot chick in lingerie, 25 points. So go get yourself a picture." Sakura handed him the camera and motioned him into the store. The lady tending the cashier took one look at the blushing boy, camera in hand, and politely asked him to leave, minus the politely. She literally kicked him out of the shop, and shaking her fist, yelled for him never to return.

Naruto rubbed his sore behind. "That didn't work out. How am I supposed to get a picture of a hot chick in lingerie if they won't even let me in the store?" Naruto whined. Sakura hadn't thought of that. The three genins stood thinking.

"I've got it!" Naruto screamed, "If I can't find a hot chick in lingerie, I'll become a hot chick in lingerie!" Naruto formed his hand seals and *POOF*. Sasuke and Sakura gawked at his new figure. Sasuke fought back a nosebleed and Sakura mentally kicked herself, cursing the fact that her own body was not as curvy. "Okay, LET'S MOVE!" Naruto threw the camera in Sasuke's direction and dragged Sakura into the shop, leaving Sasuke strangely aroused, and with camera. Sasuke had no choice but to follow. After all, they needed photo evidence.

When Sasuke entered the store, he was unnoticed. The sale's clerk had far more interesting things to worry about, like perhaps the naked girl that had just entered the shop.

"Er- can I help you?" The sales lady asked.

"Yeah, umm, my sister- she, uh, lost her clothes." Sakura lied.

"I can see that. What happened to them?"

"They fell off somewhere..." Sakura continued, "And, well, she's kinda cold, so, could you maybe help her out?"

"This is a lingerie shop. We don't carry anything that can really keep a body warm..."

"Anything will do. Something to at least get us home without too many stares...?" Sakura said.

"Like this!" Naruto said, lifting up a black pleather garter belt and its hosiery. "And this!" He added, holding up a matching thong and bustier.

"Uh, suit yourself. There's a dressing room on your right..."

Naruto flew to the dressing room and quickly painted on the lingerie set. He then stepped out of the room. "How does this look?" Naruto asked.

"It looks... good, Naru- er- sister..." Sakura stated.

"I bet it would look better on you," Naruto winked. Sakura was getting ready to slap him, when she was blinded by the flash of the camera.

"Well, I changed my mind. I think I'll walk home nekkid," Naruto told the sales lady as he undressed. "Thanks anyway." The clerk watched them leave. Her family was not going to believe the story she'd tell them during that night's dinner.

The three ninjas exited the store where Naruto promptly turned back into his original self. "Your turn, Sasuke."

-x-

Ino had finally caught her breath when two shadows fell upon her. She looked up into two sets of amused eyes. "Your turn," Shikamaru voiced.

"But..." Ino tried.

"No buts, you promised, and you're going to do something on that list. Now."

Ino sighed in defeat. She couldn't argue any longer with those eyes. "Okay, what do I have to do?"

Shikamaru smiled as she admitted her defeat. He scanned the list. "We'll give you something easy to start with, but it only gets harder along the way. You have to do number 36! Now let's go," He said, leading the other two towards the steakhouse and sushi bar near the center of town.

-x-

End of Part 2 Tally:

Kakashi Team: 115 points

Kurenai Team: 120 points

Asuma Team: 115 points

A/N: Oh my! The teams are so even! I'll have to fix that in the next chapter, which I believe will have appearances from some other Konoha genins... muahahaha. And what could be in store for Ino??? Anyway, hope this chapter wasn't too horrible. I have higher hopes for the next one. Thanks again for all the reviews! They make me smile really big... ^_^