Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that pertain to the movie/book "Holes". They belong to the writer of the book, Louis Sachar.

Chapter 4

Night had fallen and there was a full moon out. Squid couldn't go to sleep. Something kept him up. He looked over at Nayel who was asleep. He had to know why she was sent there. He got out of bed and slipped on his jumpsuit and then his boots. He slowly walked out of the tent and headed towards Mr. Sir's office. The camp was so silent. He had never heard it like this. He crept up the stairs to the door. He pushed open the door. "Dumbasses," he snickered. He was now inside the office. He began to look around and his eyes fell upon the filing cabinet. He slowly walked toward it. He opened it and began looking through the files. "Nayel," he lifted the folder and set it down on the table. He sat in Mr. Sir's chair. He remembered when he was on the opposite side but then snapped out of it. "Focus Alan," he whispered to himself. He opened the file and began to read.

Name: Nayel Maia Reyna Age: 16

Parents: Yolanda Reyna (Mother) Nathan Reyna (Father)

"Ok whatever I know that shit," he glided his finger down to where he it said why she was sent there. He read intently.

Reason: Tried suicide attempts. First by slitting her wrists. Second by anorexia. Third by depressants. Fourth by jumping out of a window but someone stopped her.

She has seen 5 different psychiatrists. The following envelope contains sessions that have been recorded with Dr. Schwartz.

Squid opened the envelope. He could tell no one bothered to open it before. He had been the first. "How the hell am I going to hear this..." then he remembered Armpit had a Walkman in his crate. He slipped the tapes into his pocket and put everything back. He stepped outside and looked around. Then went to the tent. He walked over to Armpit's crate and took out the Walkman. He went to sit on his cot. He took out the tapes and placed the one marked "Session One" into the Walkman. He put the headphones on and pressed play. He knew that he was going to hear Nayel's thoughts and feelings and he knew instantly that he was going to be mentioned.

*Session one tape*

Dr. Schwartz: Hello Nayel. Now you do know that is being recorded but feel free to speak your mind. Okay lets begin. Why are you trying to kill yourself Nayel?

Nayel: I don't know... I just feel like I don't deserve to live.

Dr. Schwartz: Now Nayel you know that's not true. Let's start with your first attempt at suicide. You, I understand, tried slitting your wrists. Tell me what happened.

Nayel: Well.... I was in the restroom and I had a razor blade in my hand. I examined it. I remember I glided my finger across the blades and blood trickled down my finger. I stared at the blood for awhile and I pressed the blade against my wrists...

Dr. Schwartz: Continue

Nayel: I slid the razor blade across my flesh. There was a lot of blood. It dripped on to the rug I had in the bathroom. I looked at the rug. I looked at the bloodstains. I put my finger against my wrist and made sure I had blood on it. I wrote on the wall. "I'm Sorry," I did that repeatedly. Till my mother walked in. She screamed so loud. I yelled at her to stop. I covered my ears with my hands. The blood was no dripping down onto my shirt. They took me to the hospital. The doctor wrapped my wrist. I remember it being so tight that the blood appeared on the bandage.

Dr. Schwartz: Why did you do that Nayel?

Nayel: I don't know...

Dr. Schwartz: Did you hurt someone and thought you should be punished?

Nayel: Yeah...I hurt someone.

Dr. Schwartz: Who?

Nayel: My mother...my father.... Alan

Dr. Schwartz: How?

Nayel: I don't know I just know I did...

The tape stopped and the trumpet went off. Squid quickly got the tapes and put them under his pillow. He took the Walkman to Armpit's crate. "Yo Pit get up," so no one would question why he was near Armpit's cot. Armpit moved in his cot but eventually got up. Squid walked over to Nayel. "Get up sweetheart," Nayel got up and noticed Squid just staring at her.

"I'm not a freak show," Nayel snapped and quickly got dressed. Then headed out. Squid followed. After breakfast it was time to dig. Squid dug faster than usual. Everyone noticed but didn't say anything. Squid finished before Zero.

"Yo Squid what you on," Magnet asked jokingly. Squid ignored the question and headed back to the camp. He walked into the tent. He got the tape and flipped it to side B and continued to listen.

Dr. Schwartz: Okay the tape is now on side B. Continue.

Nayel: I hurt the people that I care about. I'm just not perfect enough for them. I mean they just don't accept me. They hate me.

Dr. Schwartz: Nayel no one hates you. If your parents hated you they wouldn't have taken you to the hospital.

Nayel: Yeah they would. Just to get rid of me...

Dr. Schwartz: Who's Alan?

Nayel: This guy...I've known for a long time. He's really important to me, but I know that he doesn't like me. He thinks I'm ugly. Fat.

Dr. Schwartz: You are not any of those things.

Nayel: I sure feel like that...

Dr. Schwartz: Okay this concludes our session. I'll see you next week.

Squid stopped the tape. He moved the headphones to where they hung around his neck. Squid wondered why she even thought those things. He had to know more.