A/N: Thanks again to the reviewers and for those who are reading the story.
You guys are awesome! OK this chapter is going to be basically a flashback.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that pertain to the movie/book "Holes". They belong to the writer of the book, Louis Sachar. Nor do I own the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan.
Chapter 7
Nayel sat at the kitchen table eating a piece of toast. She looked at her father. He seemed deep in thought. Although his full concentration was on his coffee. It was black which wasn't normal for him. He usually drank his coffee with sugar and cream. Nayel didn't say anything. "Can you drive me to school," she finally broke the silence. Her father didn't answer. "Okay I'll walk," she got up and grabbed her messenger bag. She slung it over her right shoulder. She looked at her dad and kissed his cheek lightly. "Bye," her father didn't move at all. He just stared at his coffee. Nayel nodded and left. She took a deep breath and began walking.
*Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan?*
Nayel finally arrived at school. She kept her focus on the ground. She slowly headed to her locker. Although her friend got her in her way, "Hey Nayel. You coming to the party tonight," her friend asked smiling.
"No. I'm not," Nayel simply said and kept on her way. She finally reached her locker and opened it. She grabbed a small bottle and popped it open. She took three pills from it and put them in her mouth. She took out her bottle of her water and drank some. She shut her locker and headed to class.
*And do you think I'm wasting my time... Doing things I wanna do. But it hurts when you disapprove all along.*
Nayel sat in the back of the classroom near the window. She glanced out the window wishing she was somewhere else right now. She turned to the blackboard, but saw nothing written on it. She took out a spiral and began drawing. She noticed a guy sitting next to her staring at her. She looked at him, "What," she snapped.
"Nothing. Just admiring you," the guy said.
"What's your name," Nayel looked at him.
"Mark," the guy announced extending his hand for her to shake.
"Nayel," she turned away from him. Mark put back his hand.
"You busy tonight," Mark asked still looking at her.
"I'm not easy if that's what you think," Nayel glared at him.
"I don't. I just think you're a nice person," Mark smiled. Nayel looked down at her desk.
"I'm just trying to be nice," Mark said. Nayel nodded.
"Here this is where I live come over," Nayel handed Mark a paper with directions. Mark smiled and nodded.
*And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you*
Nayel got home. Her dad was sitting on the couch watching Law & Order. Nayel sat next to him. "Hey dad," she smiled.
"Hi," he said. He didn't even look at her. Nor did he smile at her. Nayel nodded.
"I had a great day at school. You," she wanted to actually have a conversation with him but he wasn't making it easy for her.
"Good," he answered her. Nayel's smile faded and she went to her room. She stood in front of the mirror and smiled. She was happy, but then her smile quickly went away and turned into a frown. She went to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat. She began vomiting. Then she looked at herself in the mirror. She quickly brushed her teeth. "Nayel you are such a disappointment," she said to herself. Tears began to fall from her eyes and on to her shirt. She was so confused and just wanted to end all the pain. She knew how.
*I can't pretend that I'm alright. And you can't change me*
Blood ran down her arms as she clutched the knife. She knew that this was the only way to end her suffering. The blood was her pain that she was letting out. She didn't deserve to live. She leaned against the bathtub and began to cry. "Nayel what do you want to eat," her father asked as he knocked on the door. Nayel didn't say anything. "Nayel," her father slowly opened the door and saw her. "What are you doing," he grabbed the knife from her and threw it in the tub.
"Dad I'm sorry," she said weakly. She had no strength in her. Her dad helped her up.
"Why do you do this to yourself," her father tried not to raise his voice.
"I'm sorry," she kept repeating until she lost consciousness.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
Nayel woke up and felt the room spinning. There were white walls and curtains. She looked at her wrists and they were wrapped in bandages. There was a table near the bed she laying in. She grabbed it and tried to lift herself up. She was unsuccessful and a cup of water hit the floor. Her father got up from the chair and walked over. "Hey,"
"Where am I," she asked rubbing her head and shutting her eyes.
"In a hospital. You were trying to hurt yourself," her father looked at her. "Why do you do that Nayel? Don't put me through it again,"
"I'm sorry," Nayel began to drift off to sleep again. Her father held her hand.
*I try not to think. About the pain I feel inside. Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me. Now seem so far away. And it feels like you don't care anymore*
Nayel woke up to hear voices talking. It was her father and some woman. "She needs help," the woman exclaimed. Nayel looked at her but couldn't see her clearly.
"I know she does, but I don't know what to do with her. I don't want to send her to a looney bin," her father protested.
"I don't want to see her there either. My sister was telling me that her child was sent to a camp. Camp Green Lake. They help kids there. Maybe that will work," the woman suggested.
"I don't know. I just need help," her father looked at Nayel. Nayel had her eyes half open, but he couldn't tell.
"Just consider it," the woman said. Nayel's father nodded.
*And now I try hard to make it. I just want to make you proud . I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I can't stand another fight. And nothing's alright*
Nayel was at home finally. After three days being in the hospital she was extremely happy to see her room. She was sitting on her bed reading her mother's journal. Her father walked in. "Hey," he said.
"Hi," she answered him. He sat next to her.
"I remember when you're mother wrote that. She wanted you to be the only one that read it," he looked at Nayel. Nayel nodded. "Nayel you need help," he said bluntly. "I don't know what to do anymore. Just tell me what's wrong," Nayel didn't answer him. "Tell me please. I want to know. Is there anything I can do,"
"You can do," she repeated. He nodded. "How about looking at me straight in the eye? How about talking to me about stuff other than my problems? How about being a dad," Nayel snapped. Her father looked down. "I just need a parent right now. I don't need you to give me the cold shoulder,"
"I am a parent to you," her father yelled. "You just don't want to tell me anything," he stormed out of the room. Nayel ignored him.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
Nayel was sitting at the table with her father. They ate in silence. They could hear the clanging of the forks against the plates. "I'm sending you to this camp that helps kids,"
"What," Nayel looked at him.
"I'm sending you to Camp Green Lake. I want you to get better not worse," her father continued eating.
"You can't do that," Nayel shot back.
"I'm your father and I think it is best for you," he took a gulp of his tea.
"That's not fair. Just because I don't tell you what's wrong you send me away. That's bullshit," she yelled. "Mom would of sided with me,"
"No she would want the best for you," her father remarked. Nayel glared at him and went to her room.
*Nothing's gonna change the things that you said. Nothing's gonna make this right again. Please don't turn your back. I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you. But you don't understand*
Her father drove to where the bus was going to pick up Nayel. "I'll never forgive you," she said.
"It's okay. I know this camp will help you," her father said. Nayel held her backpack close to her as she saw the bus. "I'm sorry but I think this will help you,"
"Yeah whatever," Nayel got out of the car and got on the bus. Her father watched as the bus headed towards the camp. He prayed he was doing the right thing.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
Nayel was on the bus to Camp Green Lake. She looked around at the other girls that were on the bus. She tried to have a positive attitude but that wasn't going to happen. The bus came to a halt and the girls got off the bus. They were greeted by Mr. Pendanski. Nayel wasn't paying attention to him. Then she saw Squid. So this was where he had been. This piece of shit of a camp. Nayel knew that it was time to put the past behind her and try to befriend him again.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
A/n: Wow this chapter is loooong. I'm sorry just had a lot to say I guess. Hope it turned out good.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that pertain to the movie/book "Holes". They belong to the writer of the book, Louis Sachar. Nor do I own the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan.
Chapter 7
Nayel sat at the kitchen table eating a piece of toast. She looked at her father. He seemed deep in thought. Although his full concentration was on his coffee. It was black which wasn't normal for him. He usually drank his coffee with sugar and cream. Nayel didn't say anything. "Can you drive me to school," she finally broke the silence. Her father didn't answer. "Okay I'll walk," she got up and grabbed her messenger bag. She slung it over her right shoulder. She looked at her dad and kissed his cheek lightly. "Bye," her father didn't move at all. He just stared at his coffee. Nayel nodded and left. She took a deep breath and began walking.
*Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan?*
Nayel finally arrived at school. She kept her focus on the ground. She slowly headed to her locker. Although her friend got her in her way, "Hey Nayel. You coming to the party tonight," her friend asked smiling.
"No. I'm not," Nayel simply said and kept on her way. She finally reached her locker and opened it. She grabbed a small bottle and popped it open. She took three pills from it and put them in her mouth. She took out her bottle of her water and drank some. She shut her locker and headed to class.
*And do you think I'm wasting my time... Doing things I wanna do. But it hurts when you disapprove all along.*
Nayel sat in the back of the classroom near the window. She glanced out the window wishing she was somewhere else right now. She turned to the blackboard, but saw nothing written on it. She took out a spiral and began drawing. She noticed a guy sitting next to her staring at her. She looked at him, "What," she snapped.
"Nothing. Just admiring you," the guy said.
"What's your name," Nayel looked at him.
"Mark," the guy announced extending his hand for her to shake.
"Nayel," she turned away from him. Mark put back his hand.
"You busy tonight," Mark asked still looking at her.
"I'm not easy if that's what you think," Nayel glared at him.
"I don't. I just think you're a nice person," Mark smiled. Nayel looked down at her desk.
"I'm just trying to be nice," Mark said. Nayel nodded.
"Here this is where I live come over," Nayel handed Mark a paper with directions. Mark smiled and nodded.
*And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you*
Nayel got home. Her dad was sitting on the couch watching Law & Order. Nayel sat next to him. "Hey dad," she smiled.
"Hi," he said. He didn't even look at her. Nor did he smile at her. Nayel nodded.
"I had a great day at school. You," she wanted to actually have a conversation with him but he wasn't making it easy for her.
"Good," he answered her. Nayel's smile faded and she went to her room. She stood in front of the mirror and smiled. She was happy, but then her smile quickly went away and turned into a frown. She went to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat. She began vomiting. Then she looked at herself in the mirror. She quickly brushed her teeth. "Nayel you are such a disappointment," she said to herself. Tears began to fall from her eyes and on to her shirt. She was so confused and just wanted to end all the pain. She knew how.
*I can't pretend that I'm alright. And you can't change me*
Blood ran down her arms as she clutched the knife. She knew that this was the only way to end her suffering. The blood was her pain that she was letting out. She didn't deserve to live. She leaned against the bathtub and began to cry. "Nayel what do you want to eat," her father asked as he knocked on the door. Nayel didn't say anything. "Nayel," her father slowly opened the door and saw her. "What are you doing," he grabbed the knife from her and threw it in the tub.
"Dad I'm sorry," she said weakly. She had no strength in her. Her dad helped her up.
"Why do you do this to yourself," her father tried not to raise his voice.
"I'm sorry," she kept repeating until she lost consciousness.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
Nayel woke up and felt the room spinning. There were white walls and curtains. She looked at her wrists and they were wrapped in bandages. There was a table near the bed she laying in. She grabbed it and tried to lift herself up. She was unsuccessful and a cup of water hit the floor. Her father got up from the chair and walked over. "Hey,"
"Where am I," she asked rubbing her head and shutting her eyes.
"In a hospital. You were trying to hurt yourself," her father looked at her. "Why do you do that Nayel? Don't put me through it again,"
"I'm sorry," Nayel began to drift off to sleep again. Her father held her hand.
*I try not to think. About the pain I feel inside. Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me. Now seem so far away. And it feels like you don't care anymore*
Nayel woke up to hear voices talking. It was her father and some woman. "She needs help," the woman exclaimed. Nayel looked at her but couldn't see her clearly.
"I know she does, but I don't know what to do with her. I don't want to send her to a looney bin," her father protested.
"I don't want to see her there either. My sister was telling me that her child was sent to a camp. Camp Green Lake. They help kids there. Maybe that will work," the woman suggested.
"I don't know. I just need help," her father looked at Nayel. Nayel had her eyes half open, but he couldn't tell.
"Just consider it," the woman said. Nayel's father nodded.
*And now I try hard to make it. I just want to make you proud . I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I can't stand another fight. And nothing's alright*
Nayel was at home finally. After three days being in the hospital she was extremely happy to see her room. She was sitting on her bed reading her mother's journal. Her father walked in. "Hey," he said.
"Hi," she answered him. He sat next to her.
"I remember when you're mother wrote that. She wanted you to be the only one that read it," he looked at Nayel. Nayel nodded. "Nayel you need help," he said bluntly. "I don't know what to do anymore. Just tell me what's wrong," Nayel didn't answer him. "Tell me please. I want to know. Is there anything I can do,"
"You can do," she repeated. He nodded. "How about looking at me straight in the eye? How about talking to me about stuff other than my problems? How about being a dad," Nayel snapped. Her father looked down. "I just need a parent right now. I don't need you to give me the cold shoulder,"
"I am a parent to you," her father yelled. "You just don't want to tell me anything," he stormed out of the room. Nayel ignored him.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
Nayel was sitting at the table with her father. They ate in silence. They could hear the clanging of the forks against the plates. "I'm sending you to this camp that helps kids,"
"What," Nayel looked at him.
"I'm sending you to Camp Green Lake. I want you to get better not worse," her father continued eating.
"You can't do that," Nayel shot back.
"I'm your father and I think it is best for you," he took a gulp of his tea.
"That's not fair. Just because I don't tell you what's wrong you send me away. That's bullshit," she yelled. "Mom would of sided with me,"
"No she would want the best for you," her father remarked. Nayel glared at him and went to her room.
*Nothing's gonna change the things that you said. Nothing's gonna make this right again. Please don't turn your back. I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you. But you don't understand*
Her father drove to where the bus was going to pick up Nayel. "I'll never forgive you," she said.
"It's okay. I know this camp will help you," her father said. Nayel held her backpack close to her as she saw the bus. "I'm sorry but I think this will help you,"
"Yeah whatever," Nayel got out of the car and got on the bus. Her father watched as the bus headed towards the camp. He prayed he was doing the right thing.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
Nayel was on the bus to Camp Green Lake. She looked around at the other girls that were on the bus. She tried to have a positive attitude but that wasn't going to happen. The bus came to a halt and the girls got off the bus. They were greeted by Mr. Pendanski. Nayel wasn't paying attention to him. Then she saw Squid. So this was where he had been. This piece of shit of a camp. Nayel knew that it was time to put the past behind her and try to befriend him again.
*Cuz we lost it all. Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late. And we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect*
A/n: Wow this chapter is loooong. I'm sorry just had a lot to say I guess. Hope it turned out good.
