To See Her Smile
A/N: ::ducks for cover:: I know . . . I know . . . It sucks. I wrote this tonight. I haven't sent it to my wonderful beta, I haven't even really sat and thought this through like I normally do my stories. Everything you see here is exactly how I wrote it the first time. I'm afraid that if I go back and start changing things, it will get even worse. So take it for what its worth, a one-shot that I wrote, while trying to get the bug about this coupling out of my system. It didn't work though. After I post this I am going to begin working on my original idea for this couple, which will be a rather, long, drawn out deal . . . with that said, I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. (Yes, I'm still working on Bended Shadows, I'll have the next chapter off to the beta in a day or so . . .)
Disclaimer: I don't own `em. This I make no money off this. I write only to maintain my own sanity . . .
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Its been six months today. Still no word. He's left before of course, on this mission, or that one. Countless times, he has said goodbye, and promised to return. He always has. Until now. He's never been gone longer than 2 months before, and even then, we never went more than 2 weeks without receiving some kind of word.
She has been trying so hard to think positively. For me, for Yahiko. She tried to protect us, and in a way, she is right. As long as she insists he is coming home, and smiles, Yahiko will believe. But I'm not fooled, as much as I wish I were.
In the second month, she withdrew in herself. Sure she still preformed her daily routine, but a lot of her spunk had left her. Then, as the weeks continued to go by, she suddenly came alive again, as if she finally had managed to convince herself. By the fourth month, everything still appeared the same on the outside, but I watched, day by day, the light fade from her eyes.
She hasn't hit me in months. Even when I insult her cooking, she just smiles that empty smile and fills my plate again.
I can't stand it. I miss her.
She still isn't home. It's not like her to still be out alone after dark. Kenshin made her promise before she left, and she has followed his request to the letter. Until now.
I'm going to find her. So I call out to Yahiko, that I'm taking a walk, and head out into the woods. I think I know where she will be.
The fireflies, where she says goodbye.
As I walk closer, I hear the sobs, and stop walking. In all the time since he left, I've never seen, or heard her cry.
My heart feels like its breaking in two.
As I step closer, standing just in the shadows, I can hear her talking.
She looks beautiful. She always does.
I listen as she talks to her memory of Kenshin.
I feel tears running down my own cheeks.
I hate to see her like this, Broken. Every barrier she has carried around her for the last 6 months has fallen apart, and still she sits alone. She talks about trying to stay positive, about . . . .
She says she has no one to turn to.
I feel a sharp pain in my chest. No one to turn to.
I'm here Jou-chan. You've seen me every day. I'm always here for you.
I'm amazed at the depth of the feeling I've developed over these past couple months.
I might just kill him if I ever see him again.
One for causing her this pain, for destroying her.
Two, because she will never look at me . . . the way she looked at him.
Then she starts talking about us, about us leaving her too.
I feel like my heart has been ripped out of me, and before I even realized that I had moved, I felt her tears on my shoulder, felt my arms wrapped around her, trying to will the pain away.
We just stand here, for minutes, hours, I don't even know. I don't know that anything exists outside of her.
"Jou-chan" I whisper softly as I lift her chin, and stare into her sad eyes.
I could stay here forever, if only I could see her smile.
I don't seem to have control of my own body anymore, lost in her eyes, before I knew what happened, my lips were pressed against hers.
Oh God, what am I doing?
As I pull away, I again find myself lost in those now confused blue eyes.
"I'll never leave you alone Kaoru"
She still looks surprised, but she smiles at me now. It's her real smile, the one that lights up the world. Then she brushes her hand across my cheek, wiping away my tears.
"Thank you Sano." She whispers in my ear as I fold her tight against me once again.
We sit by the river, my arms still wrapped around her, in silence for the longest time.
I know that she will never love me, not like she loves him. But I can live with that. As long as I can see her smile.
She turns to face me, and brushes her hand across my face again. Suddenly her hand freezes, and she looks at me with an expression I can't describe. But it sends fireworks off in my head.
She leans closer to me, and I have to force myself to breathe. My heart is pounding through my chest as she kisses me again.
She falls asleep in my arms here by river.
I don't know when I fell in love with her, but I plan to do so again, every day, for the rest of our lives.
So I gather her up in my arms, and carry her back home . . . .
As sad violet eyes watched them from the shadows . . .
