How To Kill a Dragon

Summary- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well not in Draco Malfoy's case. Hermione Malfoy certainly won't miss him. Because, she's the one who killed him. (A morbid Draco and Hermione romance)

Part One Memoirs of the Slytherin Bride

***02***

***Chapter Two: The Honeymoon***

When I heard the minister announce his name…our name, I pulled back from his kiss, and looked up into his face. His light colored eyes teased mine, and they held a malicious glint. He took my arm and we both put on fake, but extremely realistic smiles. We walked down the aisle, and I could hear the people around us, applauding loudly and chattering gaily, yet their voices started to become dull, they became dull. My complete attention was on Draco. My Husband. My Ruler.

To others, my unwavering focus on Draco seemed to be, because of love and admiration. I suppose that was why it was so easy to fool them all.

I watched as my husband smiled once again, in my direction, as we finally made it down the long aisle. He looked so in love that it amazed me. It also made me weary, of love. Draco proved to me that emotions could be faked, and quite well. So, who was to say that the emotion called "love" was really real? If everyone could pretend to be in deep love, so easily, then perhaps we were all fooling ourselves into believing in a false emotion, to comfort ourselves.

It was a sad revelation, indeed, but it did help the pain of being bound to Draco. Yes, we were unified, for at least a little while, but it did not mean anything, because love was not a true emotion. I enjoyed my revelation, although in the back of my mind, I knew that I was only fooling myself. I did know that love was real, but at the time, I just didn't want to. The power of suggestion is actually quite strong.

"Love is not real." I whispered, quietly, sampling the foreign words. They were bitter, and cruel words, but so was my attitude, so everything was in perfect balance. I said the words, again, thinking that no one could hear me, over the roar of the crowd, but Draco heard.

His eyes stared straight ahead, but his voice smacked my ears. "My dear little wife, I do hate to break up your theory, but love is real. It is just not designed for people-like us.  (Or, at least not in the conventional way.) Love, for us, is a morbid passion, a disease rightly named obsession. Love, our disease, grows slowly, yet it goes unnoticed by our human eyes, until one day, it slams in our faces. Bam, there it is. How quickly it seems to us that love appears, yet it was truly there all along."

When his voice abruptly halted, I was shaken. Then, the voices our cacophonous audience, suddenly came streaming back into my ears. I wish…for only a moment…that it were his smooth, scolding voice that was echoing in my ears, again.

***The Carriage Ride ***

The carriage that transported my husband and I home, from the reception, was large, and warm. If I hadn't known better, I would have believed that we were floating above the air. The carriage ride was smooth, and I never felt the bumps and dents in the dirt road. " Just another perk of being wealthy." I thought to myself.

I looked across from me, and saw that my husband had fell asleep, during the long trip. I would never have known if I hadn't looked over at him, he slumbered so quietly. No sounds passed through his lips, and it only made me wonder if he was real. In all honesty, I had always secretly thought that Draco was a human body, missing a soul, and for some reason, his quiet sleeping habits only confirmed that.

I turned my attention from my cryptic husband, and looked out of the window. We were traveling in an area that seemed to be a large moor. There was nothing around, except fog and large plains of green. I began to feel queasy, as the color green filled my eyes; I averted my eyes from the window, and kept my eyes on the ground.

Only moments later, the carriage came to halt, in the middle of the moor! I turned to Draco, to ask him why we had stopped, but he was already looking in my direction. He laughed, thoroughly amused, by my look of confusion. Instantly, my temper flared up (as it is prone to do), and I turned away from him, and crossed my arms over my chest, in a huff. The move was childish, yes, but it was better than saying what I wanted to say.

When, I felt hands pulling me around, I stiffened, and glared at the Slytherin. "Your temper amuses me, Granger…"Draco rested his chin in his hand, acting as though he were in deep thought, but I saw the teasing glimmer in his eye, "That's right, you aren't a dirty Granger anymore, you're a Malfoy now. Well, you must be the luckiest woman in the universe."

A million comebacks flew through my head, but I opted for the one that would hit him the hardest. I smiled sweetly, and said in the most sugarcoated voice that I could muster, "I suppose I am, Draco Dearest. Not only am I fortunate enough to marry one of the richest men alive, but I also have the honor of ruining the last pure bloodline in all of England. How wonderful for me."

I saw a muscle in Draco's jaw jump, but he remained extremely calm. Apparently, he had not completely gotten over his family heritage, although he was the only Malfoy left on the earth. "Yes," He said in an icy tone, "You have ruined my bloodline, but I would rather have a mixed bloodline, rather than none at all."

I raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Is that the other reason why you insisted that I marry you?"

His stormy eyes shifted over to me, and he spoke quietly, "My reasons are none of your concern."

"Then what is, Malfoy?"

"Call me Draco."

I raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

He dragged his fingers through his hair, and sighed, exasperated, "Because, like it or not, you are now my wife, and we are supposed to be in love. To save my life, we must act as such, and don't you think others would think it strange that you call your husband by his last name?"

Draco did have a valid argument, but at the time, I wasn't ready to let him win. "Perhaps, in public, but when it's just you and I?"

"I hate being called by my last name. It sounds so ominous coming from your lips, and I have enough problems, without dealing with a surly wife."

"Fine. Draco. But, you still didn't answer my original question."

Draco rolled his eyes, and waved his hand. "Which was?"

"What concerns me? Don't I get to know anything, or am just to sit in the corner knitting, while you deal with your "business" with the Dark Lord? I was forced to marry you, Draco, so I think I deserve to be somewhat informed."

My husband's annoyed face, instantly transformed into amusement, and he smirked. "You want to be informed, do you? Well, I'll let you in on a little secret, which only a Malfoy would know."

"Do you see that tiny cottage, in the middle of the moor?" I looked in the direction that Draco was staring, and lo and behold, there sat a small run-down shack.

"That," he continued, "is the Malfoy Manor. Lovely, isn't it?" Without waiting, for my response, he poked his head out of the window in the carriage, to speak with the driver.

"Havisham? You may proceed to the Manor. Mistress Malfoy has been informed." At that, the carriage lurched forward, sending me, flying, into Draco's arms. We both cringed from the contact, and shoved each other away. I turned my attention away from Draco, and focused on the little shack that we were heading straight for. As we neared the shack, the scene began to shimmer and shake, until the scene changed, entirely. The ugly shack shifted, into the awe inspiring Malfoy Manor that was more beautiful than Hermione had ever imagined.

"It's magic, obviously. Many people want the two of us dead, so naturally, I had to protect the Manor anyway I could. This is just one of the hundreds of safety precautions." I blushed, because the thought of disguising the Manor had never occurred to me.

Draco looked at my blushing face and grinned evilly. His gray eyes shifted in my direction, and he said in a shocked voice, "Don't tell me you hadn't figured out that the house was being disguised. I must be dreaming, because for the first time, the All-mighty Mud Blood didn't know something. I knew being married to you would prove interesting and perhaps even enlightening, but this?" My husband's usually detached demeanor, shattered as he started to laugh.

My face turned an ever-darker shade of crimson, but this time, not from embarrassment. "Why don't you run into a knife?" I snapped, angrily.

By this time, tears of enjoyment were streaming down his face. "Yes, I was right. Life with you will prove to be every interesting. I can't wait."

***Wedding Night***

I lay on the bed with my eyes staring straight up at the ceiling. Draco was a very interesting man, who grew bored quite easily, thus the idea for having the entire milky way solar system magically imprinted on his ceiling was not that out there. Even I had to admit that money had its advantages. At that particular moment, I was trying to find the constellation, Orion, when my spouse barged into my room.

I didn't even bother to acknowledge his presence with my eyes, hoping that he would get the message and slink back to the hole of which he came. As usual, my wish went unanswered, as he marched over to me.

"Greetings wife," He growled.

I shifted my chocolate eyes; over to meet his storm colored ones, which were now clouded by fury. "Greetings my Darling. Although, being near you makes me most jovial, I must inquire on why you have come." If he were going to treat me with polite indifference for the rest of our lives together, I would do the same.

Draco's handsome face was the mirror of calm, but his eyes clearly gave away his anger, which was directed towards me. "You are fully aware of why I have come. Wife. I. Want. Answers. I will not. Leave. Until. I. Get. Them." He pronunciated each word with extreme care, and I knew he was trying to control his emotions. Draco rarely showed emotions, with the exception of rage and amusement, and even those, he kept to a minimum.

In a teasing voice, I replied, "I. Am. Sorry. But. YOU. Must. State. Your. Purpose." At this, my husband forgot about controlling himself, and went off, yelling incoherently for many moments, as I watched with fascination. Finally, Draco realized that he was actually showing emotion, which quickly put an end to his rant. Instead, he paced the floor, for another couple of minutes, before stopping to look at me.

"Wife, you'd better be happy I need you, because I really could kill you, right now." Draco was not exaggerating as some would suspect, no, he really would have killed me if he could have. To bad he didn't realize that keeping me around was digging his own grave. Literally.

Not in the least bit scared or afraid, I spoke bravely and answered, "Well, I suppose that is a good thing. Long live the Ministry. But, still Draco, love, what have I done to offend you so?"

"My elves. They are suddenly gone, and I suspect that you know what has happened to them."

I put a hand over my heart, and gasped dramatically, "My love, how could you think such a cruel thing of me. It hurts me that you think of me that way, I thought you and I could be one big happy bloody family."

I successfully evaded his accusation with sarcasm, as he had often done as a child. If you can' t beat them, then you bloody well better join them. "Where in the hell are my house elves, Hermione?"

So taken aback, was I, by his usage of my given name, that I answered his question without hesitation, "I haven't set them free, I've only given them the weekend off. Don't get your knickers in a bunch."

At that, he had me pinned against the wall, in a similar position as when he first "proposed", if you could call it that. "And, why would you do that? Why would you think that you could do that?"

"Because, I am the Mistress of Malfoy Manor, and my word is nearly as good as yours. Besides, I thought you wanted us to act as if we loved each other? What is more romantic, than spending your honeymoon, alone, without anyone around? What will the public think?"

He instantly let go of me, and his eyes shined, mischievously, "You are right, they won't know what to think...We could really make this work. As a matter of fact, if I call my publicist, we could have every newspaper and gossip magazine here in an hour… The more publicity, the less people with think about my connection to that pansy Voldemort…" I watched as Draco went from hot to cold in a matter of nanoseconds, and saw how the evil wheels in his head began to spin, wildly.

"Wait, you have publicist?"

***

Well, my husband's idea was simply this, because, our house elves were gone, he and I would be completely alone for three days, which was gold for the media. He got his publicist, Jim, to tip off all of the major magazines and papers about where we were. So, during those days, many reporters and photographers sneaked on to our property, taking ridiculously sappy (and staged) pictures of us. In every print, we were always deeply looking into each other's eyes, or in an extremely passionate kiss. The kissing was good, but the staring into each other's eyes bit was a little over the top for my taste, and do I need to spell out clichéd?

Fortunately, the three day vacation from elves went by fairly quickly, because I did the work of the house elves, as a "dutiful wife should". It doesn't take Merlin to figure out who made that sexist comment. Naturally, I wouldn't have subjected myself to such treatment; if Draco had not had his wand (and mine for that matter) pointed directly toward my heart, with that timely spell "Crucio" on his lips. It's funny what a spell will make you do.

After my little rebellion, as Draco was calling it, life went into a rut. Everyday, we would bicker and argue about this and that, and it would always end the same way, with Draco pointing our wands at my chest, with a spell on his brain.

I was just starting to get used to our sham marriage, when three unexpected visitors had to pay us a visit.

***

I was (and still am) best friends with Ronald Weasley, and the Man who won, Harry Potter.  Because, they were both off fighting Death Eaters, and what not, they were the only people who hadn't heard about Draco and I. Well, when the two finally got around to reading the newspaper, what should they see, but pictures from our wedding, on the front page. "Wedding Bliss for the Gryffindor Lioness and the Slytherin Prince." The bolded words slapped my best pals in the face, as they read up on the life of Draco and I.

Ron was always was one to act on his first impulses, and sadly Harry was always behind him every step of the way. Ron's impulses led him to my new home, the Malfoy Manor.

At the moment that my two blood brothers (draw your own conclusions), came bursting into my home, Draco and I were actually being civil to each other. We were both extremely bored, and were playing a grueling game of wizard's chess; it seems that the only time we were ever semi-kind to each other was when we were in competition. I had just stolen his knight when my bumbling friends burst through the door of the drawing room, where Draco and I were. I was slightly annoyed with the two, because they made me lose the chance to gloat.

"Hermione Granger! Why in Merlin's name is there a picture of you marrying Malfoy on the front page of the newspaper?" Much to my surprise, the angered scream actually came from Harry. Hmm…I'd always pegged Ron as the unreasonable one in this scenario…interesting.

Before I could reply, my husband spoke for me, "Hello Potter. Weasley. What do you think you are doing in my home?"

"We've come to talk to Mione, this is between us and her!" Harry cried with even more venom.

"Yeah!" Ron agreed, from behind his best friend.

I watched the whole scene that was unfolding in front of me, and I wondered, what Malfoy's move would be. I looked over at the twenty two year old blonde, waiting for his reaction. Much to my surprise (and relief) Draco acted perfectly calm (as per usual), and didn't even take his eyes off of the chessboard.

"Well, that is all well and dandy, but you two fine gentlemen have forgotten something." Not waiting for a response, he went on, "This is my home, and "Mione" is my wife. And, I for one, don't appreciate your tone, towards my wife, and I would be greatly obliged if you would greet her in a more respectable manor in the future." Draco's voice was the epitome of polite, but all of us could see that he was more deadly than he let on.

At my husband's statement, I was even more involved in the show, and wondered what my best friends' responses would be. "Alright Malfoy, we'll play your game. Mr. Weasley and I would like to have a discussion with the Lady Malfoy. Is that respectful enough for you?" Harry seemed even more annoyed, than usual, and it amused me as much as it did my husband. (Yes, only a few months with Draco, and I was already starting to acquire some of his traits.)

My husband finally looked up from our game only to let a sly grin slip across his face. "Yes, quite. I suppose I could give the three of you a happy reunion." On that note, he gracefully exited the room, but not before teasing my lips with a lingering kiss, which he made sure Harry and Ron noticed. I knew it was his way of saying, "She may be your best mate, but she still belongs to me."

"Why do men have to be so territorial?" I wondered to myself, as Draco went off to do who knows what.

I couldn't ponder this topic for long, because Ron instantly jumped into the sputtering rage that I knew was coming. "Hermione? What…How…You…The slimy git…Amazing…Bouncing…How?" Ron always did have with words.

Harry quickly took charge of the situation, by clamping a hand over the red head's mouth, and speaking for the both of them. "What Ron is trying to ask is, what in the world have you been up to since we left to fight in the war?"

I restrained from biting my lip, which I knew was a dead give away, if I was lying to either of the boys. I wanted so badly to tell them the truth, but what was the point? Either way, I would still be married to Malfoy they couldn't change that. There was no point in upsetting them.

"It's a long story." I warned, hoping that Ron's short attention span would turn him off from hearing the make believe story.

"Give it a go anyway." Ron said sarcastically, when he pushed Harry's hand off of his mouth.

I shrugged my shoulders, lazily, and began my tale, "Draco fell for me, pursued me, showered me with gifts and professions of love, and I decided what the heck, might as well give the old chap a chance.  And, I found out the he's really not a half bad guy, once you get past that expensive exterior."

"Hmm… guess it wasn't such a long story after all." I mused aloud.

"Oh, I see! While you were having it off with Malfoy, poor Harry and I were fighting in a war to save you from the likes of Malfoy. What a bloody coincidence."

My face turned a crimson red at Ron's accusation of the going on's of Draco and myself. Draco and I had never once even discussed the possibility of consummation of marriage, although I knew he expected an heir. "What goes on between my husband and I is none of your business, Ronald! Besides, everyone knows that Draco is a spy for the Light side."

I threw in that fake story about Draco's profession to move the subject away from my private affairs, and it worked. "Spy…wait…do you mean Draco is a spy?"

I flipped my hair over my shoulder, and rolled my eyes, "Where have you been? Everyone knows that."

"Oh." Was all either man could come up with, and I smirked inwardly. I hated lying to my mates; nevertheless I still liked leaving them speechless every once in a while.
"So you really love that arrogant bloke?" Harry asked, quietly.

I looked straight into his jade eyes, and lied my pants off, "What other reason would I be married to him?"

"How?" Ron asked, calmly.

"Have you ever heard that old saying, "your greatest love is derived from your greatest hate?" Both nodded, and both seemed to have understood.

"If he's what you want, Mione, then that's fine by me." Harry finally said.

"I'll second that," Ron added. I smiled happily, knowing that it took a lot for them to accept the marriage, and it made me feel better about the situation.

"Hey Mione, is dinner ready?"

"Ron!" I exclaimed.

"Malfoy's got more money than they he can swim in. It's not like the bloke can't afford it."

***

Weeks after Ron and Harry had both went back to fighting, another visitor unexpectedly came calling, for Draco…

Draco and I had just come from a large garden party that was filled with people of the elite society. The party had actually been quite entertaining, because the best gossipers in the world are married rich ladies, of which I was surrounded. They would smile in each other's faces, and then as soon as they parted ways, they would run to others and spread all types of rumors. I stifled a chuckle here and there; as I watched the women flounce around, stirring up trouble, and at their age!

My husband and I sat at a table, together, and watched the show. "Quite an enjoyable show, wouldn't you say, wife? And, we didn't even have to pay a dime. Why go to the theater, when we have so much entertainment at our disposal?"

"I'm surprised that the theaters are still in business, what with the drama of Mrs. Pumblechook an Mrs. Wopsle unfolding in front of our eyes."  Draco and I stared at each other for a moment, in silent agreement, and then we both laughed.

After the party, I went up into my wing of the house to take a much needed nap. I didn't know or care what Draco was doing, so long as it didn't involve me. Of course, that was before I took my nap.

***

When I awoke, I felt more tired than I had before, but I knew that dinner would soon be served, and I didn't want to be late. I quickly changed my clothes, and headed down the stairs, into the dining room. I took my seat, without looking up into my husband's face. I suppose I took for granted that he would be there.

After a moment or two, I did look up in my husband's direction, only to ask what was taking the elves so long to bring out our meals, when I noticed that he wasn't there. I furrowed my brow, and looked at my watch, wondering if I had come to soon, but I had not.

I knew that Draco would not have eaten without me, because he had always insisted that the Lord and Lady of the manor eat at the same time, because of his family traditions, he was actually quite adamant about it.

I called for one of the house elves, Windy, and instantly, he was at my side. "What can Windy be doing for you, Mistress Malfoy?"

"Where is my husband?"

"Windy hasn't been seeing him at all today. Windy is sorry, Miss."

I softly patted Windy's head, "That's okay, Windy, I'll find him."

As soon as Windy was out of site, I began to walk up to Draco's wing, in search of him. As I approached his wing, silly butterflies swiveled through my stomach. I had never been to his chambers before.

Ignoring my fear, I confidently began to walk up the torch lit hallway; in the direction of what I thought was his room. As I walked, I began to realize that finding him would not be so easy. There were doors everywhere, and I was getting more confused by each step. Luckily, most of the doors were looked, and I deduced that he would not be lurking in any of them.

I was about to turn another corner, in hopes of finding him. But, as I neared the corner, I heard his voice and another's. I halted, as I heard the two voices talking around the corner from me.

"Is she beautiful, Draco?" A woman asked.

"Who?" Draco asked.

"Your wife." She sounded annoyed.

"Quite." I heard the two begin to walk in my direction, and I searched for a hiding place. I found a door, and thankfully it was unlocked. I slide into the room, but pushed my ear up against the door to hear the rest of the conversation.

"Well, if she's so damned good looking, why aren't you with her?" the female yelled.

I could see the smirk on Draco's face, in my mind, as he replied, "Jealous are we?"

"I'm not jealous." The woman shrieked, although she did sound completely unconvincing.

"Don't you worry your brain about my little wife. Hermione is my private business."

"Now, you must be off. Hermione, I daresay, is waiting down in the dining hall for me."

"Okay, but we will meet tomorrow, in London?" She asked eagerly.

"Yes, just apparate into my bedroom…as usual."     

***

When, I heard Draco's last sentence, I apparated back into the dining hall. I walked over to my seat, and gracefully laid my bottom in the soft cushions. Strangely, my blood was not boiling with uncontrollable rage, as it usually did. I was actually quite composed, and did not look like a woman who had just found out that her husband was deceiving her and cheating on her.

But, make no mistake I was angry and pained. Angrier, than I had ever been, and I suppose that was why I was able to be so calm. My anger did not consume me, like a raging fire consumed paper. No, it was like an eternal flame that just wouldn't die.

I sat there, in my chair, and sipped the drink that had been laid out for me, even as I heard my husband's footfalls drawing ever closer to me. I did not flinch as he sat down. Nor, did I avert my eyes, when he greeted me. "Wife, I take it that you are well rested."

"Oh yes Draco." I said in my normal tone.

"So what is on your agenda, for this afternoon? I was going into London, for business. I may be there for a couple of days. I trust that you will behave yourself, accordingly."

I restrained myself, from rolling my chocolate eyes. Draco had been treating me like a child, since we were wed, and it was really annoying me. "I will Draco."

"Yes, but what of your plans, will you be needing any pocket money?" I stared at my husband for a moment, as I replayed his words in my head.

"What of your plans?" An idea slowly came into my mind, which was clouded by anger.

"Answer me." Draco growled, as he pointed his wand at me.

"No Darling, I won't be needing anything, because I don't have plans..."

"Good."

"Except for killing you that is…" I thought to myself.

******

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~Lady Mistress~