Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Shifra's soul. Well I don't actually own she just gave it to me temporally for safe keeping.

Thanks for the review, I hope your aren't as confused after reading this.

Anything in italics is elvish

This Sucks…

It was at least four hours before dawn on the grassy plain. The Fellowship had found a safe place to sleep near an outcrop of rocks. A light mist fell from the sky, for the weather had been awful for two weeks now. Sitting upon a boulder over-looking the south was Legolas; he had relieved Boromir of his watch only an hour ago. After he had been watching far out into the distance a small rustling from behind caught his attention abruptly.

He slowly got up and looked behind the rock on which he sat. There sat a small girl cowering and shivering. Legolas looked at her in surprise and softly called out to her.

" Lady?" he asked in a hushed tone.

She looked up with wide blue eyes, her white hair sticking to her face from the drizzle. When she moved her head Legolas could clearly see her lack of garments. He leaped down off the boulder, taking off his cloak in the process. He gently handed it to her as she backed against the rock.

" It is safe, Lady. I will not harm you," Legolas said stepping closer slowly, " Take the cloak, it will warm you."

She smiled and stood up as he looked at her clothes and her face. A strange expression crossed it when he heard a muffled sound from the camp. He took his eyes from the girl and turned in the direction of the noise. Suddenly a bright light overtook his vision as he felt something slam him into the rock.

In the camp the others awoke, seeing nothing but a bright light coming from all sides. There was a general confusion and panic from the companions. Gandalf began to chant and the light dimmed. As light slowly returned to its normal intensity Frodo cried out, his hand grasping the front of his tunic.

" The Ring," he cried, " Someone has taken the Ring."

Immediately Aragorn unsheathed his sword and looked about. All the hobbits were present as was Boromir, Gimli, and Gandalf. Only one was missing.

" Where's the elf," Gimli grumbled, Aragorn turned to him and frowned.

" Here," Legolas called as he came out from behind the boulder. He held his forearm tightly where a spot was reddened on his tunic.

" What has happened Legolas?" Aragorn asked, sheathing his sword and stepping closer.

" There was a small maiden, behind the boulder," he gestured behind him, " She was crouching and dressed very sparsely. She seemed very cold and frightened as well. I did not know where she had come from and so I offered her my cloak and was to attempt to draw her out when all I could see was a bright light. The maiden then attacked my from behind and stabbed my arm. When I reached out for her she was gone. What has happened here?"

" Someone has taken the Ring," Gandalf stated.

" We must track them. They cannot be far by now," Boromir added.

" Wait," Legolas said, he looked to Aragorn, " Do you hear it Aragorn?"

" I do," Merry said quietly, Pippin nodding in agreement.

Aragorn listened closely and nodded," They are not far at all." He unsheathed his sword once again.

* * * * *

" Okay, this sucks ass," Kat exclaimed kicking a rock out of her path.

" I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm hungry," Nat whined.

" Natalie if you don't be quiet, we will eat you," Choo stated angrily.

Behind the three girls walked Sean, Greg, and Travis. Travis was the tallest and the… dullest of the boys. He was lanky and long and wore his normal street clothes, jeans and a light blue shirt. His shaggy black hair was covering his light eyes and contrasted with his pale skin. His best friend Sean walked next to him, being as wild as Travis was dull. His hair was a black and blue mohawk and he was dressed in black bondage pants, a black long-sleeve shirt and black vans. Then there was Greg who was a cross between a pirate and Robin Hood. His longish spiked bright blonde hair added to the look of mischief in his bright blue eyes. He caught up with the girls and put his arms around Choo and Kat.

" So, tell me Ladies, do you like peanut butter?" he asked winking and smiling mischievously.

" Uhmmm, yeah…Why?" Choo asked.

" Me too, let's fuck!" Greg exclaimed. Kat and the others laughed hard.

" That is the best pick-up line ever," Choo laughed.

" I have a better one," Travis started, but Choo interrupted him.

" No you don't."

" She's got ya there Travis," Sean said patting his friend on the back. Travis looked down and pouted.

" Where do you think we are?" Nat asked.

" Once we find those two evil demons of hell," Choo started, getting angrier with every word. " We'll know and then beat them up and make them find us food."

" And water," Sean added.

" And…" Nat stopped seeing a group of men and boys with weapons in front of her.

" I wish I had a sword," Kat said wistfully, Choo shot her a dark look

" Yep, this sucks ass," Greg stated.

* * * * *

Aragorn looked over the group of what seemed to be children. The three girls were dressed oddly and quiet inappropriately. The girl with the dark hair and red bag stared him straight in the eye. When he stepped closer the others stepped back but she held her ground.

" Are you friend or foe?" he asked looking over all of them.

" Fo' shizzle my nizzle, it's all goo," Kat said in her best faux ghetto dialect, while putting her fist out to do the 'handshake'.

" Excuse me," Aragorn said, taken aback by the odd response. He looked over to Legolas.

Choo rolled her eyes and looked at Kat, " No more talking for you."

Kat pouted, looking down and kicking her feet in shame like a little kid. Nat giggled but that brought the attention of Aragorn to her. She quickly looked around and pointed to Travis.

" It was his fault," she yelled.

" What…Huh, No!" Travis yelped in confusion.

Legolas leaned over to Aragorn, " I think they are mad."

" I believe that as well."

" That's rude you know," Choo said.

" Yeah," Kat agreed, " How would you like it if we started speakin' some funny language?"

" Like…Ich muss zu toilet gehen. Ich habe eine schwester. Sie hieb t Trina. Eh, How'd you like that?" Choo put her hands on her hips.

Aragorn shook his head. " Well, my Lady," he said forcefully, " Perhaps you should tell us if you are friend or foe."

" How would I know?" Choo exclaimed, " What if you guys are evil?"

" Evil!" Gimli bellowed. The group looked at him, looked at each other, and shrugged.

" You never know."

" I assure you," Gandalf said stepping closer, " We are not evil, but we have cause to believe that you are."

" Listen," Choo said, putting out her hands to emphasize, " I don't care if you think we are evil or not. We are trying to find two people who are partially responsible for us being here. All we want is to find them, beat them up, get home, and beat them some more."

" What did these two look like?" Legolas asked.

" Ugly," Choo said, with a matter-of-fact tone.

" A girl and a boy, their names are Liz and Peter," Kat added, " Why? Did you see anyone?"

" Perhaps," Boromir said. Nat rolled her eyes.

" The chick has white blonde hair, blue eyes, dressed like a…tramp," Nat said, sitting on a nearby rock.

Legolas looked to Aragorn and nodded, "That is the maiden who…caught me off guard."

" Do not worry my friend, any of us would have done the same."

" Dude, speak English you freakin' communists," Kat yelled.

" What is a 'communist'?" Merry asked.

" I know not," Aragorn replied, eyeing Kat suspiciously, " What are…"

" Your names?" Choo interrupted.

" What?"

" I asked for your names."

" I believe that…"

" I was."

" No, my Lady, if you would…"

" La la la la la la la la la la," Choo put her hands over her ears. The rest of the group followed, singing at random and then begun to dance around.

" Well that was fun," Choo said, stopping. " So, what are your names?"

" This is getting tiresome," Gandalf muttered, Legolas nodded in agreement.

" Then just tell us where the two evil minions went, give us some food, and we will be on our happy little way," Choo said smiling.

" Evil minions," Frodo exclaimed, glancing over to Gandalf with a worried expression. Aragorn looked at Choo with a dark expression as he stepped closer to her.

" What are they?" he asked in a low tone.

" Uhmmmm… disillusioned, self-centered, annoying teenagers."

" Whom do they serve?" Boromir asked.

" Maya, themselves. I wonder what Trina is doing to Maya right now?"

" I wish I was there to watch. Do you think she'll take pictures?" Kat thought aloud.

" I hate to interrupt this, well…odd conversation but I'm hungry," Sean said.

" Me too," Greg added.

" Me…" Travis started, but Kat turned to him and put a finger to her lips.

" Shhh, Travis. No talking…Library," she pointed to an invisible sign.

Travis wore a confused look on his face and then looked to Sean who shrugged.

" Aragorn I do not believe that they are a threat. They could even be of some help," Gandalf said.

" So your name is Aragorn," Choo said smiling.

" Yes," he said, giving in and sheathing his sword, " I am Aragorn son of Arathorn," he gestured to his right, " This is Gandalf the Grey."

" Like Laura's little brother," Nat squealed.

" Oh yeah, his name is Gandalf too. That's so weird," Kat exclaimed.

Aragorn looked to Gandalf who merely shrugged, he turned back to the group of children.

" This is Boromir son of Denethor, Gimli son of Glò in, Legolas son of Thranduil and the hobbits…"

" Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took," Merry interrupted.

" And these fine hobbits here are Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee," Pippin added, " You can call me Pippin."

" Pimpin'?" Kat pondered, " Nice names, where are your hoes?"

Pippin gave a confused look to Merry.

" Why would I bring a hoe? I won't be gardening or anything of that sort."

" Huh? Gardening…oh," Kat giggle, " Never mind Pimpin'."

" And your names?" Legolas asked.

" I'm Christina, daughter of Connie, but nobody calls me that so its just Choo," she stated and then looked to Kat.

" I'm Kathryn, daughter of Darlene, just call me Kat," she said bowing a bit.

" Ummm… I'm Natalie," Nat said shyly.

" And I, good sirs, am Greg, son of Timtammylaopiterynimbuos, and King of Andorra, the Land of Peanut Butter. By the way, do you like peanut butter?"

" No Greg," Choo said, trying not to laugh, " No peanut butter."

" Aw shucks," Greg said, snapping his fingers in defeat.

" I'm Sean… ummm son of… Sean. Nice to meet you guys."

" I'm Travis, son of…"

" No Travis we all know you are a loveless orphaned child," Kat said with false sympathy.

Travis pouted and looked at the ground, and then he looked up, " What…No…"

" Shh, Travis. It's okay. We understand."

" Are you truly orphaned?" Boromir asked.

" No, they," he pointed at Choo, " Just hate me."

" Why the hell are you pointing at me?" Choo yelled. She stalked over to him as he backed up it a tree.

" I'm sorry Choo," Travis pleaded, shielding his face with his hands.

" Damn right your sorry," she turned away muttering.

" We should be looking for the Ring," Frodo said to Aragorn.

" Huh?" Choo asked.

" Come with us. We will go back to the camp then start the search," Aragorn said. He walked back towards where they came. The others followed.

" There's food there right?" Sean asked hopefully.