Notes and disclaimers in part one

Circle Unbroken

Part 5

Calleigh had always known that Tim was a good listener, had observed that on many occasions when one or other of the CSIs was making a report. Tim would remain silent while the rest of them jumped in with questions, but he'd listen right through to the end, and only then would he interject, often coming up with something that had passed the rest of them by. Since they'd begun dating, she'd also learned to value his quiet strength, to come to rely on it. She'd never realised just how much though, not until they were lying side by side on a hotel bed in her hometown, telling him all the lurid details of the life she'd left behind. He didn't interrupt her, just listened, and while she thought that it would have been harder, the words spilled forth easily from her lips.

She was fine until she told him about her mother, and she thought of her in the hospital in Shreveport, probably alone and afraid, if she even knew what was going on around her. An image of the woman who had just been barely lucid enough to hug her goodbye as she left to go to college had flashed through her mind, and she could only imagine how much things had deteriorated in the eleven years that she'd been gone, if this was what happened. She felt a tear slip down her cheek, felt Tim's hand reach up to wipe it away, and she covered it with her own, holding it in place, letting his warmth, his strength, fill her.

"I never wanted to come back here," she whispered, keeping her eyes shut. She knew that she'd never be able to tell him this if she was looking at him, would never be able to tell him the whole truth. "And I never wanted you to see any of this. I was so scared of what you'd think, of what you'd say…" She opened her eyes then, staring right into his, seeing total confidence there, total acceptance. "And now you're here," she continued, pressing his hand just a little harder against her cheek. "And I have no idea how I thought I could do this without you."

She closed her eyes again when he leaned in to her, kissing her forehead. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere," he promised, and she sighed, shifting down the bed slightly, wrapping her arms around his neck as she went. His hands slid around her waist, their legs intertwining, and she felt herself relax completely for the first time in what seemed like months.

"I should have told you that I was coming here…" she murmured. "Should've waited for you. I'm sorry…"

"It doesn't matter," he told her, but it did, she knew it did. She also knew that he wasn't going to hold it against her, and she was more grateful for that than she could ever tell him.

"You are one in a million Tim Speedle," she told him, and she felt him chuckle soundlessly.

"I know," he said, and she giggled in surprise, slapping at his shoulder lightly, the giggle turning into a yawn when she wasn't looking.

"You should get some sleep," he said, and she didn't have to look up at him to know that he was frowning; she could hear it in his voice. She looked up at him anyway though, and sure enough, he was giving her the same worried look that she'd seen on his face the previous night.

"I'm good," she murmured, and his hands moved up and down her back, tracing patterns there. As she lowered her head back to his shoulder, she realised that she'd never spoken a truer word either, a contented smile on her face against all the odds.

"You didn't get much sleep last night," he pointed out, his hands still moving, relaxing her still further, lulling her to sleep. "It's ok…"

"I'll have to shower and change before we go to Mike and Sally's…" Even she could hear the complete lack of conviction in her own voice, and she felt Tim's smile against her hair.

"I'll wake you in a couple of hours…go to sleep…"

It felt like it was only seconds later when he felt a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. "Calleigh," Tim said softly. "C'mon…time to wake up."

She muttered something that even she didn't understand, and she heard him chuckle, heard him step away from the bed. Glancing at the clock told her that a couple of hours had gone by, which amazed her, because she hadn't even felt him get up from the bed. He'd been busy, that much was clear as he stood looking down at her. The white shirt she'd admired was gone, and he stood before her in only his blue jeans, running a towel over his dark hair. That wasn't the only change either, and she narrowed her eyes as she sat up. "Have you shaved?" she asked curiously, emphasising the last word in her amazement, because seeing Tim without his customary stubble was rare indeed.

His skin flushed, and he shrugged. "I thought I should make a good impression," was all he said, and she grinned, swinging her feet onto the ground, crossing over to him.

"I'd say it's working so far," she purred, running a finger up the length of his arm, bringing her hand to rest on his shoulder.

He lifted an eyebrow, eyes glinting with humour. "Good then," he chuckled, tilting his head, looking almost questioningly down at her. Meeting his eyes, she smiled, sliding her hand around to the back of his neck, bringing his head down to hers. It wasn't such an unusual occurrence for them; him waking her up before he left her place in the morning, having to go back to his place to change before the shift. They'd banter and kiss, and he'd long ago learned to wake her up well before he needed to leave, otherwise they tended to lose track of time. He'd been on the verge of a written warning from Horatio before that lesson had seeped through. So this was pretty normal for them, and her lips neared Tim's, Calleigh knew that.

As their lips met though, in what he obviously intended to be a chaste kiss, something occurred to her. This was the first time that he'd kissed her since they'd come down here; the first time that he'd kissed her since they'd left for work the previous morning, back before everything changed in her life. Perhaps the same thought occurred to him at the same instant, because by mutual consent, the kiss deepened, her mouth opening under his, his towel dropping forgotten to the floor as his hands found other things to do.

Rather unusually for them, it was he who broke the kiss, his hands framing her face, both of them breathing hard. "Calleigh…" he whispered, reluctance written all over his face, mirroring her feelings exactly. She just nodded, a small smile appearing on her face.

"I know. We've got to get ready." She took a step back, but his hands didn't move from her face. "We'll pick this up later?"

A grin appeared on Tim's face. "Count on that."

She showered and washed her hair in record time, emerging in a cloud of fragrant steam, a towel wrapped around her. She didn't miss the look in Tim's eyes as he watched her dress and fix her hair, taking perverse pleasure in the effect she was having on him. He was having much the same effect on her if the truth be known; the blue jeans having been joined by a beige coloured shirt, darker pinstripes running through it, blessedly untucked. He looked more like the Tim that she saw every day, just a little less scruffy, and her eyes kept finding him in the mirror as she dressed. She couldn't help but notice that his eyes never left her either.

Hence it took her longer to get dressed than it normally might have, and she followed Tim's lead, choosing a pair of black jeans and a simple white blouse, her long hair falling still slightly damp down her back. "Ready to go?" Tim asked, and she nodded, grabbing her purse and slipping her hand into his, walking down the stairs.

She'd hoped that they would manage to make it past Violet, but that hope was shattered when the old woman called after them as they walked through the lobby. "You two are going out?" Her tone was one of faint disapproval, and Calleigh could instantly imagine tongues wagging all over town at the news that Calleigh Hayes was out on the town with her fancy man and her father hardly cold.

Nonetheless, she knew that the only thing that would make the gossip worse was if she sailed by Violet without a word; hence she gave the older woman her most charming smile. "We're going to Mike and Sally Fletcher's for dinner," she said. "We've got some catching up to do."

At the mention of Mike's name, Violet nodded. "Well, you two have a nice time, you hear?"

"We'll try." Her social duty done for then, Calleigh led Tim towards the door and out onto the street, where he turned to her with a wry look.

"Does she ever move?" he demanded, and she threw back her head in amusement.

"I don't think so," she admitted. "Seems every memory I have of her she's sitting behind that desk." She looked to the left and right, then tilted her head up to him. "You want to drive or should I?"

"You know where you're going," was Tim's easy response, and they made their way to Calleigh's rental car. They were on the road before either one of them spoke again, with Tim clearing his throat. "So, you and Mike go way back, huh?"

Calleigh smiled, a hundred memories coming to her all at once. "To high school," she said. "He and Sally are pretty much the only people I've kept in touch with from here. Everyone else moved away, we lost touch…"

"But not Mike?"

Calleigh shook her head. "Nope…guess he liked this place more than he let on. Went to Tulane, got about halfway through a law degree, believe it or not, then decided it wasn't for him. Came back here and started with the sheriff's department." She remembered him telling her that he'd got that job; that had been how she'd found out that her father was no longer the sheriff, that he'd lost his job a year previous, his drinking and abuse of suspects becoming impossible to ignore. They hadn't said that publicly of course, though everyone in the town had known, instead pretending that he was simply taking early retirement. Mike hadn't wanted to tell her all that at first, wanting to spare her pain he said, but she'd insisted, crying only when she hung up the phone. "He worked his way up to Deputy Sheriff three years ago. Sally, that's his wife, she was the year behind us in school. She teaches History and English at the local high school." A bitter smile touched her lips as she murmured, more to herself than Tim, "I'm still not quite sure he's forgiven me for not coming to the wedding."

From the corner of her eye, she could see Tim's head turn to her sharply. "Your oldest friend's wedding and you didn't go?" he asked, surprised. "How come?"

She shrugged, not taking her eyes off the road. "I rather thought the return of the prodigal might overshadow things for them," she told him. She'd said the same thing to Mike when he'd begged her to come, and to Sally. They'd both thought that it was because of seeing her family again, and she'd had to tell them that she didn't care about tell. "Tell me that every gossip in town wouldn't be more concerned with Calleigh Hayes coming back after all these years than your wedding," she'd demanded, and Mike's silence, because Mike was never silent, had been answer enough, and she'd stood her ground, sending her regrets.

"I suppose I can see what you mean," Tim allowed, no doubt thinking of Violet and her ilk, who were no doubt in a frenzy right about now. Calleigh knew that her family had been the subject of town talk for years, but nothing compared to this, and her jaw tightened at the thought.

"I'm sure they're talking about us," she told him, trying to make a joke out of it. "What with everything that's happened…" Tears burned her throat suddenly and she battled them back ruthlessly. She hadn't cried since it had happened, and she wasn't going to start now, not when Mike and Sally were expecting her. "And then I show up, with my partner, no wedding ring…"

She chanced a quick look over at him, and wished that she hadn't; the concern she saw in his eyes almost her undoing. She swallowed hard as she turned away, knuckles white on the wheel of the car, and he must have seen that, simply commenting that, "We don't have that problem in Syracuse." He paused for a moment, and something in his voice told her that he wasn't finished, so she wasn't surprised when he continued with, "Unless you count my aunts…because they've got to be telepathic the way they know everything so quickly…"

It was a lame joke, but she appreciated the effort, smiling weakly, but thankful when she was able to flip on her indicator, turning into a side road, driving a few hundred feet up it before turning into a long driveway. "Here we go," she murmured, finally bringing the car to a stop.

Tim whistled as he got out of the car, and Calleigh had to admit that she too was impressed. The old Camden place, as it had been known back when she still lived in town, was legendary as a house that was a good storm away from collapsing in on itself, the owners having died when Calleigh was just starting high school, their only son, who had moved to Baton Rouge and had no interest in the place, letting it fall into disrepair. You'd never know that from looking at the place now though; the walls newly whitewashed, a stark contrast to the dark tiles on the roof, lights shining on the front porch and from the windows. All in all, it was the picture of a warm and welcoming home, beckoning them inside.

Which in no way explained why Calleigh found herself seemingly bolted to the ground beside the car, unable to move.

She was dimly aware of Tim coming round to stand beside her, close enough to touch, but not touching her. "Calleigh?" he asked carefully. "You ok?"

She couldn't have spoken if her life depended on it, just nodded, staring at the house. Just then, the front door opened and a dark-skinned woman came out, dressed in blue jeans and a red T-shirt, her long black hair tied up in a ponytail. She didn't say anything as she came down the steps, just walked over to stand in front of Calleigh. She held her gaze for a long moment before simply nodding once, pulling Calleigh into a hug. Calleigh found herself gripping her tightly, squeezing her eyes shut, doing her level best to banish the cold feeling that had crept over her, not entirely succeeding.

When Sally pulled away, there were tears in her eyes, but she gave Calleigh a brave smile. "You ok honey?"

Calleigh looked heavenward, shaking her head. "It's been a long day," was all she said, and Sally nodded, tucking her arm into Calleigh's, all ready to lead her towards the house.

"Well, I hope you're hungry is all I can say," she said brightly. "Because when Mike told me y'all were coming, I made my Gramma's Creole Chicken, and plenty of it…though it would be nice Calleigh Hayes, to be introduced to this man of yours."

Calleigh flushed red, giving Tim a look which he interpreted correctly as a sign to jump in anytime. "Tim Speedle," he said. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," said Sally, tucking her other arm into Tim's, leading him and Calleigh to the house. "And I gotta tell you, have we got some stories about this girl for you…"

That piqued Tim's interest, and Calleigh tried to smile, knowing that Sally had meant it as a joke, that she was trying to put Calleigh at ease, but it had the opposite effect.  Her stomach was churning as they entered the house, and she didn't know how in the world she was going to manage dinner. The house was as warm and inviting from within as it was from without, matching Mike's smile as he stood in the living room. "Good to see you guys," he said, keeping his voice low, which surprised Calleigh, at least until he bent to lift something from the couch. "Let me just clear this place for you." In his arms was a little boy, looking to be about three years old, clad in red flannel pyjamas and sound asleep. "Danny wanted to be introduced to Mommy and Daddy's friends," Mike continued in a whisper as he came towards them. "But he kinda lost it about a half hour ago."

A cold hand reached into Calleigh's chest, squeezing her heart as she saw the child's face, so like his father's, and she was momentarily speechless. Luckily for her, Tim was there to help her out. "How old is he?" he asked, and it was Sally who answered, ushering the two of them to the couch.

"Gonna be four in a couple of months," she told him. "Getting big and bold, like his father."

"I heard that." Mike mock-glared at his wife through narrowed eyes, going up the stairs to put the child down.

Calleigh forced a weak smile to her face, looking over at Sally. "I didn't realise he'd got so big," she murmured, and Sally snickered.

"Tell me about it," she answered. "I look at him some days and wonder where my baby boy went to."

"How old is Clara now?" The way her mind was whirring, along with her stomach, she was surprised that she could remember the name of their daughter, but there it was when she needed it.

"Six months," replied Sally. "And if we're lucky, she'll sleep through dinner. It's just ready - you guys want something to drink?"

"Just water," Calleigh replied, because that was all she could handle right then, and she didn't change her mind just because Sally gave her a hard look. "I'm driving," she added, and Sally just gave her a look, obviously not believing her for a second before looking over at Tim.

"A beer'd be great."

Sally vanished into the kitchen, leaving Calleigh and Tim alone in the living room, and Calleigh mentally steeled herself, hoping that Tim wouldn't say anything, knowing that he would, and he didn't let her down. "You ok?" he asked softly, and she realised suddenly that they were sitting quite far apart on the couch, that he wasn't touching her in the slightest.

"Long day," she whispered, her head dropping into her hands, smoothing back her hair.

"I know." His own voice was just as low, but he still didn't touch her. She did feel the couch shift as he moved though, and she could sense him just a little closer to her. She lifted her head then, giving him a tired smile. "I'm ok," she whispered, reaching over to lay a hand on his knee, squeezing it gently.

He didn't look convinced, but he didn't question her further, not once Mike came back downstairs and Sally came back in, telling them that dinner was served. The food was as good as Sally had promised, even if Tim was taken aback at how spicy it was, drinking about a gallon of water over the course of the meal, not saying much, just listening as Mike and Sally caught Calleigh up on all the news that she'd missed out on. He became more animated when the subject changed to Miami and the work that they did there, and by the time Sally served up the coffee, it was like he'd known them forever, talking away as if they were all old friends.

Calleigh was more than holding her own in the conversation as well, the cold feeling around her heart having dissipated somewhat, and by the time they moved into the living room, herself and Tim once more sitting on the couch, she was almost relaxed. Until, that is, a baby's squall pierced the night. Sally was on her feet before Calleigh had even registered what the noise was, and Mike grinned as he watched his wife disappear. "Looks like someone's gonna get to meet her Aunt Calleigh after all," he laughed.

Calleigh shifted slightly, but didn't say anything, leaving Tim to say, "I'm blaming it on jet lag, because I know you've told me her name-"

"Clara," Mike supplied. "After my mother." He looked over at Calleigh, one eyebrow raised teasingly. "I'm sure Calleigh has some rather interesting stories to tell about her…" Calleigh knew just what he was referring to, several examples coming immediately to mind, her cheeks flushing red.

"Oh, now I'm hooked; do tell," Tim laughed, and she ducked her head, laughing too.

"How about the incredible moving mailbox?" Mike suggested, and Calleigh groaned.

"For the hundredth time Michael," she protested. "That mailbox was never that close to the fence post any other time I drove in that gate."

Mike gave her a look, then Tim. "Mailbox was in the same place since the good Lord made dirt," he said flatly. "Which in no way explains why this girl here ran my car into it when she was driving us both home from school one day."

"You let me drive!" Calleigh pointed out to him. "And I'm a much better driver now."

Tim shifted in his seat, raising his bottle of beer to his lips. "Not so much," he responded, and Calleigh turned on him, mouth open in shock.

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by Sally's return, Clara in her arms, still fussing. "I think someone wants to join the party," she said, walking the length of the room, cooing to the baby. "You want to meet Calleigh and Tim sweetheart?" she asked, bringing Clara over to them.

Calleigh hadn't been able to take her eyes off the mother and baby since they'd come down the stairs, but the last thing in the world that she wanted to do was take the baby from Sally. "I'm not too good with babies," she demurred, but Sally just shook her head.

"Rubbish," she said, depositing the child into Calleigh's arms without further ado. Calleigh swallowed hard, not being a stranger to children, having all but raised her brothers, but it had been a long time since she'd held a child, and Clara must have known that somewhere, because she didn't seem confident in Calleigh's qualifications. She was more unsettled in Calleigh's arms than she had been in Sally's, and she only began to calm a little when Tim leaned over, touching a finger to her cheek.

"Who's this gorgeous girl?" he asked softly, running his finger up and down the child's cheek gently, smiling when her big brown eyes locked on his. She seemed to be very interested in him, and he continued to talk to her in that same tone of voice. "Nothing to cry about is there? She's not that scary…" His eyes darted to Calleigh momentarily, then back to the baby, and across the room, Mike laughed.

"He like this with all the girls Calleigh?" he wondered, an exclamation of pain at the end of the sentence, courtesy of a light smack from his wife.

"Don't mind him Tim," she said, pausing before she continued. "You are good with her though…" She tilted her head as she looked at him. "You two ever thought of having your own?"

Calleigh's heart seemed to stop for a second, then lurched painfully back to life, hammering loudly in her ears. Tim just chuckled, shaking his head. "Not really," he said. "It's kinda still early days for-"

He stopped talking when Calleigh stood up hurriedly, making Clara squawk in surprise. She knew that the other three were looking at her strangely, knew that she wasn't acting normally, but she couldn't stop herself. She didn't know what was wrong with her; all she knew was that she couldn't sit there, on that couch, in that happy family home, that sweet smelling bundle in her arms, Tim fussing over her as if she really was their own child. "I'm sorry," she said, shoving a now crying Clara in Tim's arms. "I can't…I just…I'm sorry." 

Not stopping to listen to anything that they might try to say, she stumbled to the front door, not stopping until she got to the porch. That's as far as she got before her shaking legs gave out, and she sank down onto the steps, hugging her knees to her chest as she breathed in the cool night air, willing herself to stop shaking. She didn't look around when she heard the door open behind her, or when someone sat down beside her.

"Quite the exit there," Mike observed, and she sighed.

"You know me."

"Yeah, I do," he said quietly. "We all do. We know it's not easy for you Calleigh… coming back here after so long…"

"I was fine," she told him, looking up at the stars. "I mean, I was freaking out, but I was fine… I don't know why…" Her voice trailed off.

"I do." He sounded so calm, so assured that her head whipped around to him, because if he had any insight, then she really did want to hear it. "You've gone away, you've made this life for yourself…and now you come back here, and you see what your life could have been like if you'd stayed." Her eyes widened in shock, and he held her gaze, not blinking, not flinching. "You know I'd've married you. You know that."

He was being completely honest with her; she could at least do him that same courtesy. "Yeah. I do."

"Somewhere in that head of yours, which is pretty dinged up right now, and don't tell me that it's not, you're thinking that that could've been you. If you hadn't left home, hadn't gone to Tulane, this could be your life. And you're wondering if you could have stopped what happened if it was."

As she listened to him, Calleigh realised that he was right, recognised that cold hand around her heart for what it was; fear, and regret. "Would that be such a bad thing?" she wondered, and he smiled, giving her a gentle nudge with his elbow.

"I think Sally would have something to say about it," he quipped, and a giggle born of pure surprise escaped her. "Though nine years ago, I would've given anything to have you think like that." He sucked in a deep breath, releasing it in a sigh. "But I know better than that. I know you better than that. This, this life, it's what I want. And it's what Sally wants. But small town life was never for you Calleigh. You never would've been happy here. It's one of the reasons we never would have worked."

She'd only seen him look that way at her once before, a day nine years previously when Mike had told her that he was quitting college, that he was going home. She hadn't been able to understand why anyone would want to go back there, enjoying her freedom too much for that, and he'd looked at her the same way he was looking at her now, telling her that he wanted to make his life there, raise his kids there. She'd known that she'd never be able to give him that, and she'd held him tight and kissed him goodbye, wishing that things could be different, but promising that they'd always be friends. They'd kept that promise, and after the initial round of doubts, she'd had no regrets.

Until tonight, when she saw what could have been.

"We really do make better friends," she murmured now, and he nodded.

"We did what we had to do Calleigh," he told her. "I came back here, you got out…and you did good for yourself, just like I knew you would. You're doing well out in Miami, you've got a man in there who worships you-" She grinned at the mention of Tim, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "No matter what happens with your family, no matter what they do or say, they can't touch that. No-one can."

She nodded slowly, releasing a deep breath, letting the words settle in her mind, in her heart. "Yeah," she breathed, the stars regaining her attention, but only for a moment as the door opened again.

She knew without turning who it was going to be, so she wasn't surprised when she heard Tim's quiet, "Everything ok out here?"  

"We're fine man," Mike told him, standing up, dropping a hand onto Calleigh's shoulder. "I'll leave you guys to it."

Calleigh twisted to watch Mike walk away, but her attention moved back to Tim when she saw the worry on his face. "I really am ok you know," she told him and he smirked humourlessly.

"Doesn't look like it," he replied, not unkindly, and she had to admit that he was right. Holding her hand out to him, she motioned him over.

"Sit down here." Something that might have been a smile flitted across his face, and he did as she asked, taking her hand and sitting down beside her. Once again he left a fairly wide tract of space between them, and she shuffled closer to him, so that she could feel the warmth of his body against hers. "I guess I just freaked out for a few minutes in there," she told him candidly. "Being back here…seeing everyone again…"

"Calleigh, relax." Tim squeezed her hand, slight amazement in his features. "After the day you've had, I'm surprised you lasted this long."

She closed her eyes, leaning against him, letting her head fall to his shoulder. "Why are you so good to me?" she wondered, smiling when she felt his head on top of hers.

"Because," he said simply, and while she expected him to continue, he didn't, just left it at that.

And it was enough.

"Tim," she said eventually, a thought occurring to her. "Will you do something for me?"

He lifted his head, and she did the same, meeting his surprised stare with resolute eyes. "Anything," he replied instantly. "You know that."

"Will you drive me to Shreveport tomorrow?"

He frowned, but nodded. "What's in Shreveport?"

She didn't hesitate, and she hoped that he wouldn't try to talk her out of it. "My mother."