Notes and disclaimers in part one

Circle Unbroken

Part 7

Calleigh had never been more grateful for anything in her life than Tim's strong arms at that precise moment in time. She'd known that seeing her mother was going to be difficult, had only been able to guess at how much her mental state had deteriorated in the years since she'd last seen her. She'd been expecting her to have bruises, expecting her not to recognise her.

She could never have expected how much it would hurt.

She could never have expected to hear her mother singing that song, the song that she used to sing to rock her to sleep, her singing voice transporting Calleigh back to when things had been all right in her family, before Daddy began drinking so heavily, before Momma got sick. Back when she knew that she was the centre of their world, back when she felt loved and protected.

What had hurt her more than anything else though, what had cut her to the core were her mother's simple words. "My little girl's not ever gonna have to run away from anything." They hurt so much because she knew that that was what her mother had wanted for her; she'd wanted her to do well, to be successful, to have everything that she herself had never had. She'd told Calleigh as much in her more lucid moments, and Calleigh had been able to see it in her eyes that morning that she'd left for college, the morning that she'd promised a sobbing Joshua that she'd be back soon for a visit. Her mother had known that she was lying, and more than that, the hug that she'd given her, the look in her eyes had screamed loud and clear at Calleigh that she should leave, that she should never come back to this place again. Calleigh had never expected her return to take place like this.

She also knew that her mother's dream for her had never come true, because she knew that she'd been running away her entire life. Running away from Darnell, and the prying eyes and the gossip, running away from her mother's illness and her father's drinking. Running away from the racism, from the anger that she'd seen in his eyes. She'd left all that behind at eighteen, re-inventing herself at college, changing her name and never talking about her past if she could help it. She'd severed a lot of her ties, the only one that remained really was Mike, and she knew that he'd always be in her life, in some way shape or form. He'd told her the truth the previous night; she knew that he would have married her, would have done it in a heartbeat. Just as she knew that Calleigh Hayes would have said yes to him in a heartbeat. Even if it caused a rift between her and her father, even if it brought scandal to the town, Calleigh Hayes would have married Mike Fletcher, would have moved back to Darnell and shown by example that her father's principles weren't hers, that she wasn't her father's daughter. Calleigh Hayes would have accepted that Mike knew all about her, knew her deepest darkest secrets and loved her anyway, knew that he would never hold them against her. She wouldn't have minded that.

Calleigh Duquesne was another story though.

Calleigh Duquesne wanted to leave her past far behind her, and that's just what she did. Calleigh Duquesne was sassy and flirty and able to handle anything, and she didn't want a man, not even someone as wonderful as Mike to rescue her from her father. She wanted to save herself, wanted to make her own way in the world. She wanted to forget all about Calleigh Hayes, wanted to start over, make a new life in the big city, never looking back.

She'd done that. She'd found a job she loved, friends she cared about, and a man who she thought might be "The One", who seemed like he was pretty crazy about her too. Then Mike had called her a couple of days ago and her entire life had begun to fall apart around her.

She'd never expected Tim to follow her to Darnell, had never expected him to be so calm about everything she'd kept from him. She'd never expected him to support her unconditionally, no questions asked, acting surprised that this surprised her. She'd hoped for this of course, but never in her wildest dreams had she expected her hopes to pan out.

She'd wanted to be strong, as she'd be strong for so many years, and she'd sworn to herself that she'd never cry in front of anybody, that, as she'd done for so many years, she'd cry her tears alone.

Except that Tim wouldn't let her do that, wouldn't let her go, so she allowed herself to cry in his arms, allowed herself to cry like she hadn't cried in years, if ever. She cried for her mother, and for her father, and for herself, Calleigh Hayes or Calleigh Duquesne, whichever one she really was, because she wasn't sure she knew anymore.

When her sobs finally subsided and she straightened up, he was slow to let her out of the circle of his arms, looking down at her worriedly. She didn't say anything, still short of breath from her sobs, and he reached up with one hand, wiping her cheeks, eyes dark with concern. "C'mon," he said quietly. "Let's get you some air."

He led her outside, finding a deserted bench, and she sank down onto it gratefully, the short walk having turned her legs to jelly. His arms were still around her, and she dropped her head on to his shoulder, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. "She was so young when she had me," she found herself whispering. "She was just barely eighteen, hadn't even graduated high school, already pregnant…I never knew my grandparents, her parents. They refused to talk to her." She sighed, remembering her mother's occasional attempts to contact her parents, the pleading phone calls, the letters marked "return to sender" clogging up the mailbox. "She was always so pretty…all that long blonde hair…I used to beg her to let me brush it…I could spend hours doing that." She frowned, something occurring to her suddenly, what he must think of her mother, of their family. "It wasn't always like it is now," she told him, important to her that he knew that. She even straightened up, meeting his gaze. "We were happy. But we didn't have much, and I think that affected them both in different ways…Daddy would drink, and Momma…she just couldn't handle things very well, that's all. But it wasn't always like this Tim… it wasn't."

He was nodding, brow furrowed, one hand running through her hair. "I know that."

"He would hit her sometimes…when he'd been drinking. He'd hit all of us." Tim's jaw tightened, and she shrugged, trying to downplay it. "We learned when to run away… where to hide. Learned to look out for one another…then I left. Ran away."

"You didn't run away Calleigh," he told her. "You had to leave."

Even though she'd said as much to Joshua the day before, right now, to her, there was no difference, and she shook her head. "It didn't matter though… no matter how far I ran, it was always there. I just tried not to think about it. But there are some things that you can't escape from."

Tim sighed, looking away from her for a moment, and she missed his gaze the second it was gone from her. "I know," he sighed, his voice low and far away, and she blinked, wondering what demons were haunting him, had haunted him in the past. Then he turned back to her, eyes serious. "I know you can never escape it," he said slowly. "But you can move on. And sometimes…" He paused, keeping one arm around her, the other reaching out and taking one of her hands in his, his thumb sweeping over her palm. "Sometimes you don't even realise you have…until you look around you one day and there you are."

She frowned, not understanding. "How do you know? When you've done that?"

He shrugged with one shoulder, bringing their joined hands up to his lips before pulling her head back down to his shoulder. "You just do."

They sat there like that in silence for a long time, letting the world go by without them, Tim eventually pulling her up, walking her back to the car and starting the long drive back. With the radio playing softly and Tim beside her, strong and silent, Calleigh found her eyes growing heavier, and she didn't realise that she'd fallen asleep until she woke up when Tim pulled the car over. He didn't say anything, waited for her to wake up, watching her as she rubbed her eyes, realising where they were, or rather, weren't. "This isn't Darnell," she said, and he nodded.

"We're in Monroe," he told her. "I thought we'd get something to eat here."

She frowned, shaking her head. "Tim, I'm really not-"

"Calleigh." It was one word, and it wasn't a shout, or an order, just her name said calmly, letting her know that he wasn't going to let her away with saying no. Accepting that, she nodded, getting out of the car without further comment, allowing him to lead her to the first restaurant they came to, not caring too much about what it was like, or what she ate. Dinner passed mostly in silence, Calleigh not really in the mood to talk, Tim not forcing her to, just sitting across from her, their legs touching one another underneath the table, his brown eyes trained on her, ever watchful.

They didn't linger in Monroe when they'd finished eating, and once again Calleigh found herself drifting off to sleep as Tim drove them the rest of the way back. It was early evening when they arrived back in town, and as the car came to a stop and she found herself staring at the façade of the hotel, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the last thing she wanted to do at that moment was go in there. "You ok?" Tim asked her quietly, and she looked over at him, shaking her head.

"I just don't want to…" Except that she wasn't sure what she didn't want, her voice trailing off in frustration. "Can we…I don't know…can we walk for a little while?"

He didn't even blink. "Sure," he replied. "We can do that."

And so, hand in hand, they simply walked in silence through the streets of the town. Past the hotel where Violet was no doubt waiting for them. Past the storefronts, some that she recognised, some that she didn't, all shut up for the night. She brought him past her elementary school, and her high school, where she smiled when she saw the tall fence surrounding the football field, remembering the Friday night football games, when she'd been sitting in the stands, cheering on the team, or, later in her high school career, when she'd been on the sidelines, leading the cheers as Mike played at wide receiver. They walked by houses, small and large, and she remembered a time when she could have told him who lived in each and every one of them, who their relations were, and any other pertinent gossip. It was only when they got to the police station, a place so intrinsic to her memories of growing up in this town, that her gait slowed, and she gripped Tim's hand just a little bit tighter. She came to a stop altogether at the gate, could feel Tim looking down at her, pulling her closer to him. "You ok?" he murmured, and she nodded.

"I used to come here all the time with him," she murmured. "He taught me how to shoot a gun out the back…didn't stop until I was a better shot than he was."

"Bullet Girl." He teased her with her nickname when her voice trailed off, and she smiled.

"It beats Lampchop," she admitted with a giggle, leaning her head against his shoulder with a sigh.

"You want to go in?" he asked, because there were still lights on, and it wouldn't have been an unreasonable assumption. It was the last thing she wanted to do though, and so she shook her head, but just as he was about to say something in response to that, Mike came out.

"I thought it was you two I saw out here," he said. "I've been looking for you."

"We ah…took a little field trip," Calleigh said, leaving it at that, hoping Mike wouldn't push too hard. "Everything ok?" She was half afraid that Joshua was causing trouble, or that Sally was upset over what had happened the previous night, but she didn't think that the latter was very likely.

Mike sighed, shifting on his feet, not able to meet her gaze, and that alone had Calleigh's stomach swirling unpleasantly. Mike was never tongue-tied, not around her. They had too much history for that. "We got word today, from Frank." Frank was her oldest brother, and at the mention of his name, Calleigh swallowed hard. "Your dad's funeral is tomorrow."

Had he slapped her, he might well have got the same reaction from Calleigh. She gulped in a deep breath, feeling for a moment as if the world was tilting crazily, Tim's grip on her hand the only thing anchoring her to reality. From somewhere very far away, she heard Tim asking, "Isn't that kinda soon?"

Mike's response was a little clearer. "I think they wanted to have it done as soon as possible…less chance for talk." Calleigh wanted to tell him that while it was a reason, and possibly a valid one, there was no chance that an early funeral would stop the talk. If anything, the local scandalmongers would be out in force, eyes peeled, spotting every gesture, every facial expression, looking for anything amiss. "Tomorrow morning. Eleven o'clock, in the church."

Calleigh took another deep breath, nodding slowly. "Thanks Mike." She turned away then, loosening her death-grip on Tim's hands, walking away from the two men, not sure if it was the news or the loss of Tim's skin against hers that had her feeling so bereft.

She barely heard Tim saying to Mike, "I'll take care of her," then she heard his footsteps, familiar to her from years of working with him at the lab, quicker than she was used to them, as he ran to catch up with her, and she just hoped that she could pull herself together before he did. She thought she was doing all right, but the second his arm went around her, his hand landing on her shoulder, turning her to face him. He opened his mouth to say something, and she shook her head, begging him not to, praying he understood. He seemed to, because he just muttered, "Come here," before pulling her into his arms.

She went willingly, arms slipping around his waist, her head nestled against his chest, eyes closed, the sounds of Darnell at that hour of the night echoing in her head, holding onto her sanity the only way she knew how.

When she was together enough to think about walking, she straightened, giving him a quick nod, starting back the way that they'd come. He didn't take his arm from around her shoulders as they walked, something she was grateful for, and when they walked into the hotel, and Violet once more started over to them, from the corner of her eye, she could see Tim give the older woman a warning look. He'd done the same thing the previous night, something Calleigh had wanted to do but would never have had the guts to, the legacy of growing up in a small town. She'd never wanted anyone to think badly of her, to appear impolite; that hadn't been how her momma raised her, but Tim, a city boy through and through, didn't have that baggage, and while she knew that Violet was undoubtedly going to be talking about her boyfriend's lack of breeding, for once, Calleigh didn't care.

Once in their room, the second she saw the bed, a wave of tiredness washed over her, and she barely had the energy to wash up before bed, scattering her clothes all over the floor before crawling underneath the covers. Seeing Tim, her slovenly Tim, picking up after her, piling the clothes more or less neatly on the back of a chair, brought a smile to her face, and he shot her a look, knowing just what she was thinking. "Not a word," he warned, and she closed her eyes, pulling the covers tighter around her.

"Come to bed," she breathed, and he didn't make her wait long. The last few nights had been different for them; two nights ago, there had been a large tract of space between them. The previous night, he'd given her the same space, which, after a few minutes, she'd rolled over to press her body against his. Tonight though, the moment he was under the covers, she rolled towards him, wrapping her body around his, his chest her pillow as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

In contrast to the previous night when she'd fallen into a deep and dreamless sleep, her sleep this night was restless, filled with dreams that she couldn't remember when she woke up, only that she remembered terror, and running, and a high place where she was safe. The first thing she saw when she woke up were Tim's brown eyes staring worriedly at her, and she was able to give him a wan smile. "Morning," she murmured, stretching up to place a kiss on his cheek before settling into his arms, her head against his chest.

"You gonna be ok today?" he asked, his fingers running through her hair.

She sighed, giving him the only answer she could, the only answer she knew. "I don't know."

"You know if there's anything you need," he said, and she could hear the frown in his voice, didn't even have to look at him to know that it was there. "You just have to ask."

"I know," she said with a smile. "You've been terrific."

"I haven't done much," he protested, and she propped herself up on one elbow, reaching up with her other hand to cup his cheek.

"You've been wonderful," she told him, bringing her lips to his for a kiss that started off as tentative as the last time he'd kissed her, in this very room just before they'd gone to Mike and Sally's for dinner. Just like then, the kiss started as one thing, but ended up as something else, escalating in passion as Calleigh lost herself in the feeling of Tim's lips on hers, his hands roaming across her body. She was dimly aware of Tim pushing her on to her back, feeling the comforting familiarity of his weight against her, his skin against hers, and she literally groaned with frustration when he pulled away from her, staring down at her. They were both breathing hard, and she could see his eyes, glazed with passion and concern, the latter taking over from the former. Tears sprang to her own eyes, because she knew that she didn't want him to stop.

"Calleigh-" he whispered, and she brought her hand to his lips, shushing him.

"Tim, please…please…" she begged, sliding her hand around to the back of his neck, not able to articulate much beyond that. "We've got time," she told him, the only reason she could come up with for not doing this, and he shook his head sadly.

"It's not that," he told her. "It just…I don't know, it just doesn't seem right…"

"You said," she breathed. "You said whatever I needed, right?" He nodded. "I need you Tim." A tear trickled down her cheek and he brushed it away tenderly, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Please," she whispered again, a second before his lips found hers.

Calleigh lost all sense of time and place as Tim made love to her, his eyes locked with hers, an emotion between them that Calleigh couldn't remember ever feeling before, not with Tim, not with any other man. She wasn't sure what it meant, even what it was; all she knew was that she felt alive, felt like herself, for the first time in days, and she thought for the first time that maybe, just maybe, she could get through this.

Her new-found sense of security lasted as long as it took her to have a shower and wash her hair, Tim allowing her an extra few minutes in bed as he grabbed the first shower. While she was in the shower, he shaved and started to dress, and when she emerged from the bathroom, a cloud of fragrant steam with her, she saw him standing in front of the mirror, black trousers and crisp white shirt, his tie lying on the bed. "Hello handsome," she said, though not with her usual level of flirtiness, the sight of the black clothing reminding her of what they were there for.

He quirked one eyebrow at her before he turned back to the mirror, looping the tie around his neck, beginning to tie the knot in it. "Don't get used to it," he ordered, and she smiled, shaking out her hair, beginning to brush it out.

"Is it my fault you scrub up so nicely?" she asked rhetorically, going on with her preparations, finishing drying her hair, pulling it into a loose ponytail at the back of her neck. She'd brought a sleeveless black dress with her, and she stepped into it now, Tim stepping up to her without even being asked, zipping it up, his hands lingering on her shoulders.

"Remember," he said, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror. "Whatever you need."

She nodded, not breaking eye contact. "I've got you," she whispered, one hand reaching up to cover his. "I'm good."

As had happened the previous morning, Tim tried to make her eat something, but this morning, Calleigh prevailed, insisting that there was no way she could stomach anything. He'd chosen, for whatever reason, not to push her on that, instead simply nodding, sitting down on the bed with her, holding her hand in silence until it was time for them to leave. The drive to the church was a short one, and in point of fact Calleigh knew that they could have walked, but that would have left more time for people to see them, see her, and she didn't want that. As it was, she could see people giving the car second and third glances as they pulled in, could see that people were surprised to see her back, because although they had undoubtedly been talk, she'd managed to keep a fairly low profile since she'd been back, not seeing too many people. They were giving Tim curious looks as well, wondering who he was, what his relationship with her was, although when he took her hand the second they got out of the car, the game was pretty much given away.

They were early for the service, but it seemed as if the entire town had congregated around the grounds of the chapel, and from her stance beside the car, Calleigh could see, at the door of the chapel, greeting the mourners that were filing in, four men, dressed in dark suits and ties, and her breath caught at the sight. Joshua, she recognised, not so the other three, not at first. Then their features blurred in her memory, turning their faces younger, and she recognised her baby brothers, all grown up. The sight froze her in her tracks, as she wondered what to do, deathly afraid of the reception she'd get from them. If Joshua's was anything to go by, it wasn't going to be pretty, and she sure as hell didn't want a scene in front of this many people.

For the briefest of moments, she considered turning tail and running, to hell with whatever people in town thought of her. She even opened her mouth to suggest it to Tim, but before she could, one of the men turned around, catching her eye. It was Frank, her eldest brother, and she could see his eyes widen as he saw her, then his face went carefully blank as he pointed her out to the other men. Joshua's jaw tightened, his face darkened with anger, and he made to step in her direction. Calleigh tensed, expecting the scene she'd been dreading, not helped by Tim's taking half a step closer to her protectively.

Then something unexpected happened.

Frank's back was to her, so she wasn't sure, but it looked as if he said something to Joshua, something that had the younger man shrinking back, held in place by Billy and Jeff's hands, one on either shoulder. Frank turned then, heading straight for Tim and Calleigh, and once more, her feet seemed to be glued to the ground.

"Frank," she said cautiously in greeting when her brother stood in front of them, about an inch or two shorter than Tim, sandy-blond hair a shade or two darker than Calleigh's.

"Calleigh," he replied, just as cautiously. Then he cleared his throat, adding, "I'm glad you came."

She gave him a nervous smile. "I wasn't sure if I'd be welcome…Joshua…"

"Joshua told us you came by the house." Frank interrupted her, glancing over his shoulder at the brothers assembled there. "And what he said. He shouldn't have. He was angry Calleigh…he still is angry. But he wasn't speaking for the rest of us. I hope you know that."

Whatever Calleigh had been expecting, that wasn't it, and she was hard pressed not to sag against Tim in relief. "I wasn't sure…" she whispered, shaking her head, looking off to the side of Frank's head, because looking in his eyes hurt too damn much. "It was so long ago…"

"Full ride to Tulane? Out of this place, away from everything?" Frank didn't go into details, probably due to the combined effect of people listening in, and the fact that they both knew what life had been like in the Hayes household. "You, more than anyone, deserved that." He cleared his throat again. "I just wish I'd told you how proud I am of you."

That did it for any semblance of self-restraint that Calleigh might have been kidding herself that she had, and she stepped forward, hugging her brother closely to her, squeezing his waist as tightly as she could. When she stepped back, her vision was clouded with tears, and she had to wipe her eyes self-consciously. "I missed you all so much," she whispered. "And I wanted to come visit…I really did…but…"

Frank reached over, squeezing her shoulder, stopping her words. "I know Min," he whispered, voice husky, eyes none too dry, and the name he used was good for another few tears from Calleigh. "I know."

Brother and sister stood there like that for a long moment before Calleigh remembered her manners, turning to the man beside her. "Tim, this is my brother Frank. Frank, this is Tim Speedle."

"Nice to meet you." Tim extended his hand, and Frank took it, his face perfectly serious as he did so.

"This the guy Violet's been telling everyone about?"

Calleigh was about to ask what the hell Violet had been saying, was about to tell Frank just how serious her relationship with Tim was, but then she caught the gleam in Frank's eyes, and it was as if the years that had separated them melted away, and he was once more her little brother, teasing her over some guy she was seeing. "Stop teasing," she said sternly, her lips twitching. "This is neither the time nor the place."

Frank rolled his eyes, but otherwise kept his face serious. "Yes Min," he said, in a long suffering tone, reaching out to take her by the elbow. "We'd better get in," he said. "They're gonna want to start soon."

Calleigh nodded, struck dumb suddenly, and, grateful for the support of the two men, she made her way to the steps of the church, where Billy and Jeff both were waiting to hug her. Joshua merely stood there, arms folded, not saying a word, but she nodded at him anyway. She wanted to hug him, but she knew that it was going to take a long time before he understood why she'd done what she'd done, if he ever understood it. There was nothing she could do but wait.

The family filed up to the front pew, Tim letting go of her hand once they got there, to allow her to sit with her brothers she supposed. That's not what she wanted though, and she grabbed his hand as he tried to move to the pew behind her, turning pleading eyes on him. He frowned, shaking his head, reminding her silently that the front row was for immediate family only, and she whispered in reply, "Please." She hated the desperation in her voice, hated that she might be making him do something he wasn't comfortable with, but she was still relieved when he came over to sit beside her, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm, where it remained all the way through the service.

The service was lovely; she had to admit that, even if the sight of her father's coffin made her stomach roil, had her looking down for most of the time. The ex-mayor, a crony of her father's of old, had been asked to deliver the eulogy, and he managed to do so without mentioning the circumstances of her father's death, or the circumstances by which he'd lost his job. Instead, he'd focussed on the things that he'd done for the community, again with certain omissions, had told how much he'd loved his family, how proud he'd been of his five children, how he'd worshipped them. That had been the point where Calleigh got a little choked up, because she knew that that much was true. No matter what happened when he'd been drinking, when he was sober, her father doted on his children, especially when they were small, back before things got bad. In particular, she'd been the apple of his eye, his first born, his little girl. He'd taught her to shoot, she'd followed him into law enforcement…and he'd been the reason she'd left this place, made a new life for herself, a life where, despite her demons, despite her childhood, she was happy. Where she had the world at her feet, just as her mother had wanted for her.

The priest was talking, finishing up the service, but suddenly, instead of his voice, all Calleigh could hear was Tim. "You can never escape it. But you can move on. And sometimes… sometimes you don't even realise you have…until you look around you one day and there you are."

And sitting there, in the front pew of the church, her father's funeral going on around her, Calleigh smiled.