Chapter 2
Other than the gentle rustling of the trees by the wind, no discernible sounds were heard at Bag End half after midnight. Sam and Rosie had retired to their bedrooms adjacent to Elanor's at quarter to mid-night. Elanor had gone to bed far earlier than her parents and had been sleeping soundly for more than three hours. Low, muffled voices emanated from the room of Sam and Rosie, but slowly it dissipated to a whisper, then no sound came at all.
All about the snug and comfortable hobbit-hole, it was all pitch dark save the small candle that illuminated the main hallway. Frodo always liked having that one candle there for he did not like how his bedroom was the closest to the door to... to the outside world. The path to the outside world which led East of the Shire and into a journey that had left a hole in his soul, seemingly never to be the same as before the journey.
That was the reason why he did not go out much; the very air in the Shire itself was stifling at times, and even though the Ring had gone, the fell voices still seemed to pervade his mind, driving him into insomnia, leaving him in depression with the guilt of still having thoughts of desire for the one thing that he had sought to destroy.
As he closed his bedroom door and surveyed his room and saw that all was in order for his departure the next day, he thought about how hard it had been to tell Rosie, Merry and Pippin the previous few days. The past day had been the same day he had told Rosie about his decision. He had met with Merry and Pippin the day before to give Merry an envelope of official documents that would authorize Samwise Gamgee as his heir.
Rosie had not taken the announcement as well as he had thought. Telling her might have been the same as it would have been if he had told Sam about the matter. His conversation with her echoed in his brain as he lay on his bed contemplating all the details of the conversation of that day. Her voice echoed in his head, as he lay awake, looking out his window at the stars in the sky.
"How can a simple hobbit of the Shire be allowed to sail over the great sea like elves are allowed? This is not right Mr. Frodo. You must stay in the Shire. This is your home. Sam and I will continue to help you and try to make you feel better. Truly, Bag End would not be the same without its master," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "It's sad enough for me, but what about poor Sam? Surely you can'tÉ" and her voice drifted as she saw Frodo's own eyes started to mist over.
Frodo put his hand on Rosie's shoulder and tried to explain even though that effort seemed to require more resolve and effort than he had realized, "I have been hurt, Rosie, my dear lass. And It continues to haunt me, in my dreams, even when I'm conscious. Every time I'm illÉ" Frodo paused and felt a shiver run down his back. He looked away, but continued in a steady voice, "I always get sucked back into that wretched and evil journey that I had willingly sacrificed my life for.
Frodo looked into Rosie's eyes and whispered, "Sam will be whole again; he will be happy. He was meant to be happy here in the Shire, with you, with Elanor, with the many more that will come. I can never measure up to him in terms of what he did for Middle-Earth and me; he certainly is the real hero. I am sure that he will continue to prosper in the Shire.
As the fresh tears started to spill onto into her rosy cheeks, Rosie looked away and said with a wavering voice, "Are you sure you must go, though? Is there no other way for peace and healing? You so deserve it, sir! I mean it also could not have helped when you wrote down everything in the Red BookÉ wouldn't that effort that you are going through have just made it even worse for you to look past the Quest and go on with life?
"Someone had to write down what had happened. The hobbits of the Shire must not forget what was sacrificed for peace. Future generations must know and understand at what cost freedom from Sauron and Saruman has been required. They will have to understand that great sacrifice is necessary if great things are to be achieved. I just feel sorry that I did not play my part till the end," Frodo's last words drifted to a whisper and he drooped down his head in shame.
"Oh master! You did more for Middle-Earth than they could've asked for! Cried Rosie in surprise. She had heard from Sam that Frodo did feel guilty for not destroying the Ring, but how it upset her to hear it from him herself. She held Frodo's cold hands and said, "It's just unfortunate that it has taken away so much of your hope and peace. It is not fair that you do not or could not stay here. You are the hero as well; please do remember how much energy and sacrifice you had put forth on the behalf of Middle-Earth. Don't underestimate yourself, Mr. Frodo. Please don't.
Rosie gave a big sigh and looked towards the West while holding on to Frodo's hands, caressing them gently. She tried to absorb what Frodo was telling her while thinking of some way to possibly dissuade Frodo, even though she knew in her heart that this was a choice that had already been decided.
Neither spoke for a while for they were at a loss for words.
Frodo didn't know what else to say to Rosie to make her understand his decision. Perhaps nobody could really understand. He had a hard time comprehending as well, but there was something in his heart that told him that this was the only way for peace.
He was also surprised at her resolve that he was a "hero" of Middle Earth also. Perhaps Sam had put that into her mind. He had never felt heroic as being the Ring-Bearer and bearing the responsibility to carrying the despicable thing to Mount Doom; he knew that he would not have gone so far without Sam, and without Sam, he would've been dead by Shelob's treachery already. He shuddered at the thought of the gigantic spider.
Rosie cleared her throat and finally asked the question that was bothering her most, "You must tell SamÉ do you know when or how?
Frodo was expecting this question and replied, "Yes, I will tell him when I leave with him to the Havens in two days. I have some things to give him before I leave Frodo paused for a moment but then continued; "I've decided to leave Bag End for him and you and all your children. Bag End is yours but please do not tell anyone yet, especially Sam. I must tell him myself when I leave. Frodo stopped and let this information sink into Rosie.
But Rosie was at a lost for words to say. All she could manage was to sink slowly to her knees and kneel down while giving Frodo's hand a gentle kiss. Her eyes were streaming with tears now for she still could not believe that her kind master was leaving everything he owned to her husband and was resolute in departing Middle-Earth forever. She still could not believe it, but the seriousness of Frodo's voice made her realize that this decision was final and that Frodo had meant every word that he had said. There seemed to be no other way. She was touched; she was upset, but she also felt very fortunate to acquire this fate.
"Oh silly lass, please get up and stop crying! Frodo lifted her up gently and tried to smile amidst his own tears. He was deeply touched by Rosie's emotion regarding this matter. "Take care of Sam. He loves you and Elanor very much. I've always believed that he's the best hobbit in the Shire and would be mayor many times. Take care of him, dear RosieÉ he really deserves the best.
Before Rosie could reply, Elanor's cries could be heard from the kitchen. Rosie immediately went forth from the kitchen but beckoned Frodo to follow her. Although her daughter was crying, she did not want to leave Frodo at that moment with this conversation hanging unfinished. She pulled Frodo along by the arm and reached her daughter's big room, which was furnished with light blue and pink baby furniture and things that Frodo had given them graciously. Frodo was such an integral part of their family. It was so hard to understand his choice and hard to let him go.
But at that moment, Rosie picked up her little infant and smiling at her beautiful baby, she whispered to Elanor's ears, "It'll be all right, dear child, it'll be all right.
Taking these little comforting words as inspiration, she placed her free hand on Frodo's arm and looking into Frodo's eyes with a meaningful glance, she said, "Go where your heart tells you, Frodo. You'll always be in our hearts. Forever.
