Chapter 2: Depression?
July 4, 2003 (Two weeks earlier)
It was the crossbow tonight. Funny, she hadn't seen him with a weapon in a couple of weeks. He cradled it on his lap, left hand caressing the bow while his right hand lifted the bottle to his lips again. She wondered how much he could drink before alcohol poisoning became a danger. She had only seen him go truly overboard a couple of times before, both after the wedding that wasn't. She wondered what had prompted it tonight.
She watched as he finished off the bottle and let it drop to the side of the chair. He continued to play with the crossbow absentmindedly before carefully turning it so that it was pointed at his chest.
She gasped. What was he doing? It wasn't loaded, but surely he couldn't be considering...Oh, God, please no! Not Xander! She couldn't bear to lose him too.
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Would it never end?
She looked back through the open doorway and saw that the crossbow was back in his lap. Maybe it had been a momentary aberration.
She watched for a few more minutes. When the hand on the crossbow relaxed and his head tilted back, she knew he had gone to sleep. She carefully backed away from the door and tiptoed to her room.
Was it possible? Could he really be contemplating suicide? It was so unlike him. But so much had happened lately. The collapse of Sunnydale and life as they knew it. Anya's death. Spike's death as well, though Xander pretended not to care. He still had his friends but in a not-here- at-the-moment kind of way. Willow had taken the scythe to the coven in England to help locate the new, baby slayers. Giles was in England as well. He and the surviving watchers were trying to reorganize and regroup. Buffy, Faith and Robin had taken the surviving Sunnydale group of baby slayers to the Ohio hellmouth. The trip was being used as a recognizance/training mission. Andrew had tagged along as chief cook and bottle washer.
Hank Summers had actually been in the country long enough to throw a fit about Buffy's plans to move to Ohio. He insisted that Dawn stay in California until she made up the semester cancelled due to the "sinkhole" that appeared under Sunnydale. Since the courthouse and all the papers that gave Buffy legal guardianship of Dawn were at the bottom of a crater, Buffy had been unable to argue. She had settled into Hank's house with Dawn and enrolled her in summer school. However, there had been an increase in activity around the hellmouth in Ohio three weeks ago. When Ohio called the slayers away, Xander agreed to stay in LA, while Dawn made up the schoolwork over the summer. Which is why they were staying at Hank's house just outside of LA.
It was the reason Dawn was alone with Xander.
If only Willow were here. She could almost always cheer Xander up when things were crashing in on him. And if she couldn't, she offered a shoulder to cry on.
Well, Willow's not here. I am. What can I do that will cheer Xander up or at least get him to stop thinking about suicide?
Dawn threw herself across the bed, deep in thought. Why would Xander be thinking of it anyway? Town he grew up in was destroyed. Not much she could do about that one. Woman he loved was killed. She couldn't fix that either. She could try to find him another girlfriend but it was really too soon for that. Xander and Anya had technically been apart for over a year, but when the house was stuffed to the rafters with girls, it was hard to hide that the sexfest had resumed.
Maybe he only thought about it when he was drinking. Maybe he only drank when he thought about suicide. Had he been drinking every weekend she was gone?
Dawn sighed in exasperation, her mind spinning all the possibilities over and over.
She would just have to spend more time with him. He never drank in excess when she was around or when he thought she was going to be around. Xander took his responsibility for her care very seriously. Xander had been encouraging her to spend weekends with a couple of girls she had met at school. Now she knew why. In fact, she was supposed to be spending the night with one of them tonight but when everything there had exploded into a family argument, she had offered to go home and the parents had been quick to accept.
Dawn decided to go ahead and get some sleep. Xander was out for the night and she would make sure to stay close the rest of the weekend. Maybe try to find out what he was thinking about, worried about, anything that was on his mind. Once Monday arrived, she would have 'til next weekend to come up with a plan of action.
July 4, 2003 (Two weeks earlier)
It was the crossbow tonight. Funny, she hadn't seen him with a weapon in a couple of weeks. He cradled it on his lap, left hand caressing the bow while his right hand lifted the bottle to his lips again. She wondered how much he could drink before alcohol poisoning became a danger. She had only seen him go truly overboard a couple of times before, both after the wedding that wasn't. She wondered what had prompted it tonight.
She watched as he finished off the bottle and let it drop to the side of the chair. He continued to play with the crossbow absentmindedly before carefully turning it so that it was pointed at his chest.
She gasped. What was he doing? It wasn't loaded, but surely he couldn't be considering...Oh, God, please no! Not Xander! She couldn't bear to lose him too.
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Would it never end?
She looked back through the open doorway and saw that the crossbow was back in his lap. Maybe it had been a momentary aberration.
She watched for a few more minutes. When the hand on the crossbow relaxed and his head tilted back, she knew he had gone to sleep. She carefully backed away from the door and tiptoed to her room.
Was it possible? Could he really be contemplating suicide? It was so unlike him. But so much had happened lately. The collapse of Sunnydale and life as they knew it. Anya's death. Spike's death as well, though Xander pretended not to care. He still had his friends but in a not-here- at-the-moment kind of way. Willow had taken the scythe to the coven in England to help locate the new, baby slayers. Giles was in England as well. He and the surviving watchers were trying to reorganize and regroup. Buffy, Faith and Robin had taken the surviving Sunnydale group of baby slayers to the Ohio hellmouth. The trip was being used as a recognizance/training mission. Andrew had tagged along as chief cook and bottle washer.
Hank Summers had actually been in the country long enough to throw a fit about Buffy's plans to move to Ohio. He insisted that Dawn stay in California until she made up the semester cancelled due to the "sinkhole" that appeared under Sunnydale. Since the courthouse and all the papers that gave Buffy legal guardianship of Dawn were at the bottom of a crater, Buffy had been unable to argue. She had settled into Hank's house with Dawn and enrolled her in summer school. However, there had been an increase in activity around the hellmouth in Ohio three weeks ago. When Ohio called the slayers away, Xander agreed to stay in LA, while Dawn made up the schoolwork over the summer. Which is why they were staying at Hank's house just outside of LA.
It was the reason Dawn was alone with Xander.
If only Willow were here. She could almost always cheer Xander up when things were crashing in on him. And if she couldn't, she offered a shoulder to cry on.
Well, Willow's not here. I am. What can I do that will cheer Xander up or at least get him to stop thinking about suicide?
Dawn threw herself across the bed, deep in thought. Why would Xander be thinking of it anyway? Town he grew up in was destroyed. Not much she could do about that one. Woman he loved was killed. She couldn't fix that either. She could try to find him another girlfriend but it was really too soon for that. Xander and Anya had technically been apart for over a year, but when the house was stuffed to the rafters with girls, it was hard to hide that the sexfest had resumed.
Maybe he only thought about it when he was drinking. Maybe he only drank when he thought about suicide. Had he been drinking every weekend she was gone?
Dawn sighed in exasperation, her mind spinning all the possibilities over and over.
She would just have to spend more time with him. He never drank in excess when she was around or when he thought she was going to be around. Xander took his responsibility for her care very seriously. Xander had been encouraging her to spend weekends with a couple of girls she had met at school. Now she knew why. In fact, she was supposed to be spending the night with one of them tonight but when everything there had exploded into a family argument, she had offered to go home and the parents had been quick to accept.
Dawn decided to go ahead and get some sleep. Xander was out for the night and she would make sure to stay close the rest of the weekend. Maybe try to find out what he was thinking about, worried about, anything that was on his mind. Once Monday arrived, she would have 'til next weekend to come up with a plan of action.
