Author's Note - Thanks for the reviews of the Prologue everyone, good and bad. What a worried group you all are! Hope this Chapter settles you down... mcj
CHAPTER ONE -REFLECTIONS
Fifteen minutes of Reflection.
Once the door to the suite had closed, Alan Tracy sat back down in the chair in the waiting area. He looked down at his hands trying to pretend he didn't have a guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach.
This just wasn't right, no matter how much he hardened his heart to the fact that his unwanted child was growing inside Tin-Tin Kyrano's tiny frame. He knew, despite his hard-nosed attitude towards her that he should be able to face the music like a man and not make her go through with something as barbaric as this.
He also knew that making Tin-Tin go ahead with it was against every value and moral fibre his Father had ever instilled in him. So why was he ignoring what was right and doing it any way?
He tried to justify it to himself as he fiddled with the ring on his finger.
He led a dangerous life with International Rescue and it wasn't fair to Tin-Tin to have him risking his life with a family to consider.
Even he didn't believe that one! The bottom line for him was straight out. He simply didn't want to be a Father. He wasn't ready for that sort of commitment and this was the only way out. For goodness sake, he'd only just sorted his feelings out about Tin-Tin eight weeks ago. Surely he shouldn't have to face the responsibility of being a husband and a Father into the bargain.
Fathers were like his own and no matter what, there was no way Alan could imagine himself acting like his Father did, all wisdom and experience. Everyone in the house still called him "kid", a very big indicator that he had none of the attributes necessary to be a Father.
However he did remember his Father lecturing him when he was sixteen years old about the risks of becoming a Father and what being a Father actually meant. That lecture had come after he had been caught with his girl-friend in the High School Science Lab and he had never forgotten it. His Father had been furious.
"It only takes the act to become a Father but being a proper Father and raising children takes years of hard work and patience. If you don't want to raise children Alan, do NOT practice the act until you do!" he had thundered. "You hear me?"
Good advice in hindsight, Alan sighed.
Whilst Alan knew most couples these days didn't run off and get married when faced with the issue of an unplanned baby, he knew he would be expected to. He was a son of the Tracy family and the Tracy family were model citizens. Worse still, this was Tin-Tin, the girl his Father had warned him he loved as a daughter.
Alan knew point-blank he didn't want to be married. He loved Tin-Tin deeply, but committing himself to that love was another thing all together. He was still revelling in the wildness of his youth and liked the feeling of being able to walk away if he wanted to. But he knew wouldn't be allowed to walk away from an unhappy marriage later down the track.
Jeff Tracy had warned all five of his sons any marriage they made would be for keeps or they would be dealing with him. Alan could not imagine himself staying with one woman for the rest of his life. What a waste of beautiful women that would be.
Alan also shuddered at the thought of how Kyrano was going to react.
He knew Kyrano didn't like him at the best of times or if he did, he certainly hid it very well under that stoical Malaysian countenance. Alan felt he'd rather stay up in Thunderbird Five for the rest of his life than break the news to Kyrano. It would make a big hole in the friendship between his Father and Kyrano and that was a responsibility he didn't want to have on his shoulders. His Father and Kyrano had been friends for years.
Alan swallowed.
It would be more like Kyrano would make a big hole in him if there were anything left after his Father finished with him. Kyrano might be small in stature compared to Alan's six-foot frame but he was still Tin-Tin's Father and size wouldn't matter when it came to something like this.
He glanced up at the clock on the wall. Three o'clock in the afternoon. He hadn't made any hotel reservations for them yet and he supposed he should arrange it while he waited.
The clinic recommended after the operation Tin-Tin should stay in San Diego for twenty-four hours to ensure everything was all right. He'd gotten around his Father and hers with a lame excuse he was taking her to one of the fashion shows she loved.
Everything was quiet at the International Rescue Base and they were all bored. As a result, Jeff Tracy had little hesitation in agreeing to allow his young astronaut and his pretty assistant Engineer leave of absence together to attend the show.
"On one condition" he said sternly. "You wear your communicators at all times so I can contact you and you agree to come home if you're needed."
Alan looked down at the watch he wore and felt his stomach turn. He'd forgotten Tin-Tin was still wearing her communicator. He hoped to God his Father didn't need to get in contact with her at the moment.
He looked up the hallway towards the tightly closed door.
He hoped she was all right in there. The procedure the receptionist outlined to her didn't sound very pleasant. He shook his head. There was no way he would go through it if he were a woman.
He heard a voice in his head. His conscience.
"So why are you expecting Tin-Tin to do it then?"
"Because she's the one who got herself pregnant."
"She had a little help there you know."
"She told me she was protected. How was I supposed to know?"
"Are you stupid or something? Your Father warned you to be careful."
"Dad warns me about everything."
"Maybe you should listen sometimes."
"Yeah well I should have listened this time that's for sure."
"She doesn't want to abort this baby. You know that don't you?"
"She has to. I don't want to be a Father."
"What about what Tin-Tin wants?"
"She doesn't want to be a Mother either."
"Did you ask her?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because her being a Mother will affect me."
"That's right. It's always about you isn't it Alan?"
"You're darned right it's about me. It would ruin my life."
"Doing this isn't going to ruin hers?"
"Not as much as having a baby will."
"Aren't you in love with her?"
"Yes but that's got nothing to do with this. The baby was an accident."
"Being in love has everything to do with this"
"Look I don't want to be a Father."
"She doesn't want to have the operation. You're forcing her."
"I know I am."
"Well you have no right to force her to do anything."
"I know but I have to."
"You don't have to. Face up to your responsibilities for a change."
"No."
"Grow up. You want to be an Adult. Act like one."
"I am being an Adult. Abortion isn't kid stuff."
"Do you love her?"
"Yes."
"How can you be so cruel to her if you love her?"
"I'm not being cruel."
"How have you behaved in the last twenty four hours?"
"Ok, so I've been a little bit stand-offish. But she shouldn't have gotten herself pregnant in the first place."
"I thought you loved her."
"I do."
"Do you think she will love you if you do this to her?"
"No probably not."
"Does that bother you?"
"Yes I suppose it does."
"More than facing your Father and hers?"
"No way. I am not facing them."
"Then you mustn't love her enough."
"I do."
"Well face them."
"I can't"
"You can. You're a man aren't you?"
"It's better than her going through with this I guess."
"What is going to happen to her in there is dreadful."
"I know it is. I heard the nurse."
"Well you'd better get her out of there then hadn't you?"
Alan stood up and approached the desk his heart beating fast.
"Excuse me ma'am," he said earnestly. "Is it too late to stop what's happening to my ... err ... the young lady please?
The receptionist eyed him. So this one had a conscience by the look of it. She thought he might have by the way he was fidgeting in the corner just now. In a way she was glad. He looked like a nice young fellow, this son of Jeff Tracy. The young lady hadn't looked like she'd wanted the operation to go ahead either. She was pleased she had explained it so graphically to them both. It wasn't often she did, despite what she said when they came in. She could usually pick the ones who would change their minds.
She stood up.
"I'll see what I can do. However Mr Tracy you do understand you are still expected to pay the Doctor for his time."
"Yes ma'am. I understand."
Alan shook his head with disbelief as she turned and hurried down the hallway. What had happened inside his head just now?
He only hoped he wasn't too late.
Only Ten minutes of Reflection
"Miss Kyrano is it?" a tall pleasant looking Doctor stood up from where he sat at his desk and reached forward to shake her hand.
Tin-Tin cringed in the doorway and looked up at him with frightened, tear-filled eyes. "Yes Sir."
"Got yourself in a spot of bother then young lady?"
"Yes Sir."
"Well it's not too hard for us to fix the problem up for you. You'll need to change of course. Did you bring everything on the list?"
Tin-Tin tried to remember if Alan had even given her a list. Yesterday she'd told him she was pregnant and less than eight hours later he had her in Tracy One on her way to San Diego.
"Please go through what I needed Sir. I'm sorry. I think I must have overlooked reading the list."
The tears shimmered on the edge of her eyelashes as she admitted. "You see Sir I've never needed to do anything like this before."
"And never will need to again I would hope." he said looking her right in the eyes. "You have to be most careful with the human body Miss Kyrano. If it wants to reproduce itself, it always seems to find a way no matter how careful you are."
He went through the list and to her horror she'd brought none of it. He assured her not to worry. Everything was here. There would simply be an additional charge. He sent her to change into the gown required while he scrubbed himself for the operation.
From where she was changing she could see the small theatre where the operation was going to occur. There were all sorts of dreadful looking things sitting on the sterile benches. In the middle was the table with some ominous looking stirrups. She began to feel sick and instinctively her hand went to her stomach.
This had to be a bad dream. She couldn't be about to do this. She didn't know if she wanted to be a mother right now but she had always hoped that if she became one Alan Tracy would have been happy to be the Father of her baby. She couldn't believe how callously he had acted towards her when she told him the news.
Cold.
Calculating.
Not like the Alan she knew and loved. He had turned into someone completely different.
Her disappointment in herself escalated. How could she have been so stupid as to miscalculate the basic sum of her own body's dates? She was supposed to be brilliant at mathematical formulas and hold two college degrees. Their relationship had been simmering for months and it was pretty obvious which way it would eventually head. Why had she only relied on dates in the first place? He'd made it clear from the beginning he wasn't going to use anything.
What had the Doctor said?
"You have to be most careful with the human body. If it wants to reproduce itself, it always seems to find a way no matter how careful you are."
Maybe her body wanted this baby. Maybe she did too. She'd often romanced about having a baby with Alan Tracy, what their child might look like and what sort of hair and eyes it would have. Yet here she was ready to abort it.
What would her Father say if he ever found out? It would devastate him. He was such a gentle man. How would he feel if he knew she had deliberately killed his grandchild without consulting him?
She felt tears in her eyes as her hand began to stroke her stomach.
This was their first baby. It could be the first little girl in the Tracy family for six generations. If it was she wanted to call her Lucy after Alan's Mother. If it was a boy...his name was going to be Alan.
She sighed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
In an hour or so the baby was going to be gone any way so what did it matter what it was going to be named.
"Are you ready then young lady?" he asked her. He noted she had been crying. She was obviously was being forced into this. "Poor young kid", he thought, "She obviously wants to keep the baby."
But he saw this sadness here every day. Money replaced commitment in these rich young men who brought their mistakes for him to get rid of and he knew that was the sole purpose of this clinic existed. Get rid of the child and remember nothing about the clients.
She bit her lips together and swallowed hard. She guessed one day they would have other children. One day, when he grew up and faced up to his responsibilities.
If he ever did.
"Yes Sir." came a tiny, desolate voice as she resignedly followed him into the theatre.
Five Minutes The Difference
Josephine Tracy sat opposite her son Jeff in his study, talking amiably over a cup of coffee.
Jeff Tracy, founder of International Rescue was, at age fifty-six, a formidable figure of a man. He was still well over six feet tall and despite some grey in his hair was a powerful, handsome man with a strong personality to match. Today he was dressed in designer trousers, an expensive shirt and matching tie. A tie bar with a small diamond in the centre of his Company Logo complemented his attire perfectly.
He had been busy with a tele-vid conference with his associates at Tracy Enterprises. Tracy Enterprises was worth billions and had been built from the ground by the hard working young astronaut after he resigned from NASA over twenty-five years before. In the past fifteen years it had grown to exceed all of his expectations.
Josie looked down with amusement at his feet. The designer outfit was finished off with nothing but a pair of well-worn red cotton socks. Jeff's motto was always to be comfortable and she guessed he figured no-one saw his feet on the vid.
"I can't believe I'm back fielding business calls Mother," he said sipping his coffee. "I usually get the boys to do the conferences. You know it's so quiet around here I'm going to have to go into the New York Office soon and start signing things."
Josie laughed and rolled her eyes. "Things must be bad when you think you have to do that Jeff. You haven't been to New York for months."
"We could all do with some action Mother. Scott, Virgil and Gordon are driving me around the twist. There's only so much maintenance you can do on the Thunderbird craft and Scott's whipped Virgil and Gordon one too many times in the boxing ring and just about everything else."
"Yes I know what you mean. All they're doing is living for the next meal. I've had all three of them pestering me since lunch time about what's planned for dinner."
"And what have you planned Mother? Something delicious as usual?"
Josie frowned and slapped him lightly on the wrist.
"You need something to do Jeff that's all I'll say."
He sighed. Well at least he'd gotten rid of one of the sources of aggravation for a day or so. Nothing was worse than Alan when he was bored. First he complained, then he argued. Thank goodness he'd agreed to let him accompany Tin-Tin to the fashion show in San Diego. Hopefully when they returned things would have picked up again.
"At least I don't have Alan on my back." he mused. "At least he and Tin-Tin are enjoying themselves."
Josie frowned. She was unhappy about Alan's abrupt request to take Tin-Tin to the mainland. He'd only been home from his month in Thunderbird Five for a few hours and all of a sudden he had been on his cell phone out on the balcony. The next minute he announced Tin-Tin wanted him to take her to San Diego.
Tin-Tin hadn't mentioned a fashion show before Alan returned and that in itself was unusual. Tin-Tin usually told Josie everything about her "passion for fashion" and planned her trips to the mainland well in advance. To top it all off, Alan had been acting very strangely since he'd come back. He was extremely agitated and didn't want to talk to anyone. She couldn't put her finger on it but something was wrong.
"You know Jeff," she said directly. "I don't think there's any fashion show."
Jeff's eyes met hers. Both of them knew that his youngest son shared his bed occasionally with Tin-Tin and they were both pretending they didn't know a thing about it.
Tin-Tin on the other hand had told her Father and they had discussed her relationship with Alan openly. Even so Kyrano had been a nervous wreck since it had started.
Alan hadn't said a word to anyone.
"Mother, he's come back after a month in space and his brothers are all watching around corners and peering through keyholes to see if what they believe is going on is true. The boy went to bed by himself last night and I know he did because I'm doing the same thing as his brothers. Maybe he isn't at a fashion show. Maybe he's in some hotel with her in San Diego. What's the difference if he's doing it under my nose or over there?"
"Jeff Tracy I can't believe you'd condone what's going on whether it's under your nose or not!"
"I'm not condoning anything but what do you think a young man and a young woman who can't keep their eyes off each other would be up to when they can finally be alone Mother? "
She pursed her lips. "You'd know young man."
"Don't start on what happened between me and Lucy in the Farmhouse again Mother. I've suffered enough about that."
A voice from behind them made them both jump.
"What this about a farmhouse Grandma?"
They both turned towards the direction of the voice. By the look of it, Virgil had been standing there the whole time.
Neither Josie nor Jeff said anything. Jeff went beetroot red.
"Never you mind Virgil." Josie frowned. "You just remember what I know about you."
Virgil went the same shade of red. He knew his Grandmother had caught him involving himself in many an activity in his younger years which was either illegal or immoral.
"Well at least I've finally got the story straight on Alan and Tin-Tin Father." he said with a great big grin on his face. "The guys have always suspected it. Now I know it's all true."
Jeff Tracy gave Virgil a warning look and growled. "Don't say another word about it. It's none of your business."
"I wouldn't be going to a fashion show either if I was Alan." Virgil smirked as he left the room in search of his two other brothers. He could hardly wait to tell them their suspicions were true. The two "best friends" were lovers.
Jeff sighed and returned to his coffee. This was all he needed; his other sons knowing he knew about Alan and Tin-Tin's physical relationship and was doing nothing about it. Scott would be bursting through the door in less than five minutes demanding Alan be made to wake up to himself. Scott took his role as eldest brother seriously, far too seriously sometimes. Well, maybe a discussion or two with Scott might take his mind off how bored everyone was he supposed.
Josie in the meantime had decided to prove to her point. She lifted her communicator towards her lips.
"This is Josie Tracy to Tin-Tin Kyrano."
Tin-Tin was on her back in the operating room when she heard the communicator beep. She wasn't supposed to be wearing any jewellery but she had promised she wouldn't take the communicator off. Even in a situation as personal as this she knew better than to cross Jeff Tracy.
"Young lady. This is no time for you to be taking calls." the Doctor berated her sternly. "You are going to have to take that thing off right now."
"I'm sorry Sir," she said. "But I'm obliged to take the call."
He muttered in annoyance, insisting the communicator come off or he wasn't prepared to continue.
She eased herself up on her elbow, her eyes darting towards the invasive looking instruments next to the Doctor.
"This is Tin-Tin Kyrano. Go ahead Mrs Tracy."
"Tin-Tin dear! Where in heaven's name are you?"
Josie saw Tin-Tin's face appear on the tiny screen. She looked very pale and strained; almost like she'd been crying.
"Mrs Tracy." she said looking shocked. "I.. I ..I am in San Diego with Alan."
"Where's the fashion show? Are you there yet? It certainly doesn't look like it if you are."
"Um. No, we're not there yet. The show's tonight." she lied.
"Where for the life of me are you then? What's that in the background? You look like you're in a hospital or something."
Tin-Tin began to feel agitated.
"Err... yes Mrs Tracy I'm having a check-up. I...I haven't been very well you see." She stammered.
Josie relaxed. That was true. She hadn't been well. The past few weeks she'd been a bit off colour at mealtimes.
"All right then dear. It's best you see to it. I'll talk to you again a little later."
As Josie went to finish the call she saw Tin-Tin's attention divert away from the screen. She heard a voice on the communicator say something about Alan. Josie strained her ears to hear what was being said but Tin-Tin cut the link off abruptly and the screen fell into darkness.
Josie was really suspicious now. She decided to call her grandson.
"This is Grandma to Alan Tracy. Come in Alan."
Alan thought he would lose his lunch when the communicator beeped. Hurriedly he raised the communicator to his lips.
"This is Alan Tracy. Go ahead Grandma.""
"Alan I want to know where you are please."
"Why Grandma?" he asked in surprise. He began to get nervous. What did she want to know where he was for?
"I said I want to know where you are and where Tin-Tin is."
"I'm in San Diego Grandma and umm… Tin-Tin's not here just now."
"Well where the heck is she?"
"She's err.. gone out ma'am."
"Gone out? Where are you then? Are you at the hotel?"
"Err.. not exactly."
"Well where exactly are you?"
He wasn't telling her the truth. That was not half obvious to the Grandmother who had raised him. She knew then there was definitely no fashion show. Imperiously she looked down her nose at her youngest grandson and gave him the ultimatum she knew he wouldn't ignore.
"Tell me where you are right now young man or I'll ask your Father to have you tell me."
He looked at her. She'd raised him from a baby. It was hard for him to stretch the truth to her, even though technically he wasn't lying.
"OK Grandma if you must know, Tin-Tin is seeing a Doctor at the moment and I'm waiting for her in the foyer. After that we are going to back to check into a Motel. And it'll be two separate rooms Grandma don't worry. Then I'm taking her out to Dinner and to the show. You can check with me later if you don't believe me."
His attention was suddenly diverted and Josie heard Tin-Tin's voice. She sounded like she was crying. Someone said something about money. Alan hurriedly cut her off as well.
That was enough for Josie.
If this was all above board, how come he hadn't wanted to tell her where Tin-Tin was? Why wouldn't he admit he was with her? What was all this about money? Why did they both cut her off?
Her mind ticked over like a taxi meter. There was something going on those two were hiding and she was going to get to the bottom of it.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Tin-Tin stood in the doorway of the Doctor's rooms looking up at him with pleading, terrified eyes. Tears poured down both sides of her face.
He stood looking at her feeling completely ashamed of himself and how he had behaved. He ran his eyes over the impersonal and demeaning gown she had been forced to wear and realised to his horror she was naked underneath it.
The full impact of his immaturity crashed down on him. How close had he come to making a very big mistake?
She began to sob loudly, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the wall in desolation.
"No baby." Alan breathed in dismay coming forward to wrap his arms around her and trying to close the back of the gown.
He felt her almost collapse against his body in distress.
"Oh God. Are you OK?" he blurted pushing her dishevelled black hair off her face and peering at her anxiously.
"Please Alan. Please don't make me go through with this." she wept. "I'll raise the baby on my own. I will. I won't ask you to have anything to do with it."
He held her tightly and brushed his lips across her forehead over and over again.
"Shhh ... please don't cry ... you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." he whispered into her ear. "I mean it … I should never have asked you come here in the first place."
Relief flooded over her as the Alan of old seemed to return.
She buried her head in his chest and began to sob harder.
"I didn't mean for us to have a baby Alan … I … I didn't … "
"I know."
"It was an accident..."
"Yeah well … I guess it's just as much my fault too."
The Doctor who had been standing behind them quietly watching the scene reached forward to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"Young Lady." he said gently. "You really shouldn't be standing out here dressed like this. How about the two of you come inside and we'll discuss what the two of you want to do."
Tin-Tin hesitated and looked up at Alan for support.
Alan looked at the Doctor and shook his head.
"No Sir. We don't need to discuss anything. There isn't going to be any operation."
"Are you sure about that young man?" he queried.
Alan looked into Tin-Tin's frightened brown eyes and then swallowed and looked back at the Doctor.
"Yes Sir." he replied. "I'm sure."
The Doctor nodded.
"Well all I can say is thank goodness for that wrist communicator then. Whoever called saved your baby's life."
Alan and Tin-Tin looked at each other.
Only one person always knew exactly what to do even if she didn't know she was doing it.
Grandma.
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NEXT CHAPTER - CHAPTER TWO - ONE AND ONE MAKES THREE
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