Chapter 2: Locker Room

I do this everyday. Ever since the night in the hotel. I sit myself in the darkest corner of the locker room, pretty far away, so no one can see me, but I can see them. Everyday I watch him. He doesn't know about this, but one day he'll find out. Not looking foward to that.

Yokas is pregnant doging. Surprised? Me neither. Her husband is mad at her, her kids are being bratty, yada yada. She should treat her husband a bit better. He's the only one stupid enough to stay with her. Yeah, incase you haven't picked this up yet, I hate Faith Yokas. Stupid pregnant dog. I should've lodged that bullet in her brain instead. Would've done me alot better, and Bosco. Bosco. He's all I care about.

Everyone left but him. He sighs. God, his sighs can drive a person crazy. Well me anyway. Everything he does is so beautiful, even his sighs. I realize I'm smiling and feel incredibly stupid. Then again, I am sitting in a dark corner watching a man who wants nothing to do with me. I am Crazy. Crazy for Bosco.

Now I'm not obsessed or anything. Believe me I'm not. I just don't want this feeling to go away. Everytime I see him, I remember holding him in my arms, I remember kissing him on the forehead while he slept, I remember loving him... but most of all I remember him loving me.

He's taking his shirt off. There they are. His beautiful chest, stomach, his body. My eyes scan his abs. He's got perfection beaten. His muscles aren't huge, and they aren't small. Perfect. He puts his vest on. I watch him carefully, making sure he does it right. Ya ever know. He finishes getting dressed and closes his locker slowly. He leans his forehead against it. What's he doing? Is he okay? I start to feel alarmed. I have to make my entrance.

"Boscorelli" I said pretending to be coming back from my locker. He looks over at me. Now I bet you can ask any woman who has ever loved Bosco, what they love the most. I bet you they'll all give you the same answer. His eyes. They show his feeling, the true depths of who he is. His pain, his loss, his sorrow, his love, his joy, himself. I get lost in his eyes. His eyes are my drug. I'm addicted and I need more. I live on them.

"Cruz" he says back softly, causing me to snap outta my daze. His voice. Another outstanding quality of who he is. His laugh, his angry voice, his sobbing voice, his sad voice, his confused voice, his surprised voice. All those tones of one man's voice. But there's one voice that I think beats the rest. His I love you voice. The way his lips move as he says it, the very small pause between each word. I long to hear that voice. I need to hear that voice, to assure me he still has it. "You need something?"

Once again he snaps me outta my thoughts. I smile, a bit embarrased at my zoning. "Oh yeah, uhm.... Just saying hi" I say. Good one. "So hi" I add. Hit me with a truck now please. His lips curve into a grin. Okay now I'm gonna go on about his lips. He has toxic lips. No I'm not quoting Britney Spears, it's true. His lips upon my lips make me feel great. Maybe I am quoting Britney Spears. Moving on.. His smile is enough to make any woman just roll over and die right there. The way he grins, those cute lines he has when he laughs. God.. love. And his kisses. Holy nuts. Lemme tell ya.. Perfect. Absolute perfection.

"Hi" he says and turns towards the sinks, washing his hands. I take this time to look at his ass. Oh baby. Give me some of that. I quickly look foward so he doesn't catch me. All I'm gonna say is. His ass, also perfect.

I walk over and lean against the wall, looking at him. I know something's wrong. I wanna know, I need to know, I need to make it better. "What's up Bos?" I ask softly. I need to gain his trust again. Believe me, Bosco has been hurt more time than I'd ever like, his trust is something that you need to handle with great care once you get it. Me. I threw it. I broke his trust, and left him there to handle it on his own. Now I need to get it back, but I'm not sure if I can.

"Nothing" he says with a small smile. Oh sweetie, don't play with me. I know that smile. I use that smile.

"If you insist" I say. Something's happening to me. I move a lil closer to him, my hand on his back, gently rubbing it. Oh god what am I doing?! Your blowing it Cruz! Blowing it big time. "You don't have to be alone Bosco, wether you like it or not, you got me, always" I say. Kill me! I'm so gonna make him run away.

Surprisingly he doesn't move. He just closes his eyes, leaning foward against the sink. It take his arm and pull him away. He doesn't protest. I'm not sure if it's cuz he wants to come with me, or if he's so drained, he just doesn't care. I sit him down and look him in the eyes. I run my hand through his short hair. He closes his eyes. I know Bosco inside out. I know that he has a weakness of me running my fingers through his hair. I smile softly as he seems to relax a lil. I run my fingers along his cheek. I got him hooked now.

"Bosco don't do this alone" I whisper. I sit down right next to him. He hangs his head, his eyes still closed. I'm not exactly sure of all the torture he's going through, but I know enough to know it's gotta be hard. He slowly opens his eyes, head still hung.

"I" he pauses a for a minute. "I can't do it anymore.." he says softly, biting his bottom lip. I know he won't cry infront of me, which breaks my heart. I carefully reach over and pull him to me, my arm wrapped around him. He leans on me, his eyes closed again. As I sit here, holding the man who means more to me than life itself, only one thing comes to my mind.

"I know"