Author's Note - The truth might be out for one brother but what about the other?
CHAPTER EIGHT - FATHERS AND SONS ON COMMITMENT
He stood in his study looking down at the photograph on the desk. He didn't know who had put it there but he guessed that more than likely it had been his mother.
The photograph was taken when his five sons were all still very young and all very innocent. When climbing a tree was the type of thing they did to make the days go by. Now they all indulged in adult matters. How Jeff Tracy longed to be back in those untroubled times sometimes.
He looked at the face of his youngest son. He was four years old; a sweet, innocent-faced little boy being guarded by his eldest brother. His eldest son looked older than his thirteen years. His lips were unsmiling and his face showed the burden of responsibility.
He remembered giving Scott the task.
"Grandma wants a photograph of the five of you. Now climb the tree with your brothers and make sure no one gets hurt." he had directed as he headed out to a business meeting.
Scott had obeyed.
Jeff Tracy remembered the task he had given his eldest son only two days before.
"Look out for International Rescue for me. Man the base with your brothers and make sure no-one gets hurt." he had directed as he headed out to a business meeting.
Scott had obeyed.
Jeff Tracy remembered Alan squirming in the tree back then and Scott anxiously tending to his every move.
He remembered Alan squirming in the lounge just now and Scott anxiously tending to his every move.
His eldest son had always shown the qualities of obedience, reliability, and fatherly concern.
His youngest son had always displayed the fact that he had none of them. He was disobedient, unreliable and didn't have a fatherly bone in his body.
Of the two of them why did it have to be the youngest to become the father of his first grandchild? He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it.
He shook his head in frustration.
Josie Tracy entered the room. She stood eyeing him in the doorway. He looked over at her. She had that determined look on her face and he wasn't in the mood for one of her good-natured arguments right now.
"Before you speak mother I just want you to know that I know exactly what you're going to say."
The old lady looked at him with amusement. No he didn't. If he did he'd be shocked.
"Am I going to say, Jeff Tracy you can't say you disapprove of this marriage? You know as well as I do that you would have made them get married anyway?"
He rolled his eyes.
"Yes that's exactly what I expected you to say."
Her eyes flashed with mirth. She felt wonderful at the news of this baby even if he didn't.
"Well you're wrong as usual because that wasn't what I was going to say. I was going to say how glad I am about the child and that this marriage your son has made with that little Kyrano girl has been by his own commitment. I don't want you making him think he didn't have a choice."
"Mother. I simply can't believe he committed himself at all. I know it won't last."
She looked decidedly annoyed.
"Why ever not? That Grandson of mine is a good and decent young man. It will last. He loves that girl. He wouldn't have married her if he didn't. Surely you can see that."
"A good and decent young man would not have made Kyrano's daughter pregnant in the first place."
"A good and decent young man made your little Lucy pregnant Jeff Tracy."
"Mother don't start.," he snapped.
" I've held my tongue about Scott for thirty years Jeff. I know Lucy was pregnant when you married her and I don't care if you tell me you planned to marry her before you put Scott inside her or not. You still did things the wrong way around and you weren't honest with me about it either. Even so the two of you shared a good and special marriage together. Alan's marriage will be the same as yours. "
Jeff Tracy sighed…audibly. Maybe she would get the hint and leave him be. No such luck. He knew she would continue to argue until he caved in. Well he wasn't going to!
" Just remember your good and decent grandson was willing to abort his child because it suited him." he pointed out.
"He didn't though Jeff. That's all that counts in my opinion."
"Mother, during the past few hours this household seems to have reverted back to how things used to be when Lucy was around. She could never see the other side to her sons and all of a sudden neither can you. Fortunately I can. I'm telling you Alan won't last through the tough times. I know he won't and if you were thinking straight you'd know that too."
"You and Lucy made it through the tough times when Grant didn't think you would."
"I loved Lucy and we had the boys to bring up. Besides Dad never liked the fact that Lucy was in my life. He didn't want us to last."
"Alan loves her Jeff and he will soon have his little one to bring up too.
Unlike your Father with Lucy, I know you already love Tin-Tin like a daughter. Deep down I know you want them to last. I don't know what you're worried about. She'll stand by him. Where was she when he faced you and her Father this evening? Right next to him that's where. Just like Lucy was whenever you were worried or frightened about anything."
"I'm not worried about Tin-Tin standing by him. It's a matter of whether he will stand by her mother!"
"Oh Jeff. You are just being difficult. Of course he will."
He was becoming exasperated. He said matter-of-factly,
"Mother. My youngest son is currently in a lot of trouble whether you care to acknowledge it or not. You might think because he married Tin-Tin that Kyrano and I approve and everything is now plain wonderful. I don't know what the hell Kyrano thinks about it but I know what I think. I also know what I'd do if Alan did those things to any daughter of mine. Now could you please do me a favor and let Scott get on with briefing me on what's been happening around here."
Josie shook her head as she turned to leave the room.
Stubborn man.
I'm sorry Lucille, she thought, I did my best. Only you were ever able to talk him around.
As she opened the door she said.
"And by the way I think it's good having things the way they used to be when Lucy was around. It's been too long since we've had that sort of straight talk in this house. You'd better get used to it the way I figure."
He looked up at her. "And why's that Mother?"
"I think you've been hearing the same things I've been hearing."
He looked surprised. Obviously she had heard that voice too!
He and his Mother shared many things but that was quite bizarre. Maybe those thoughts he had when Tin-Tin left the room were right after all! He shook his head. Don't be ridiculous he told himself again.
Josie still stood at the door. Her expression had changed. She now looked worried.
"Jeff." she said quietly fixing her blue eyes on him "Please be careful with your son."
Jeff Tracy did not reply this time.
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A SON ON COMMITMENT
He sat out there on the darkened balcony of his room and looked down at it. He'd carefully taken it out of the box that held it. A perfect circle of gold, cut with modest diamonds and sapphires. The ring was thirty years old and still looked as perfect as the day it was lovingly purchased. His eyes struggled to read the inscription in the fading light as night fell over Tracy Island.
"I will always love you."
He held his mother's engagement ring.
His Father had given it to him after he had graduated from the Air Force Academy. His Father had guessed it would soon be his turn to start a family and as the eldest son wanted him to have the most precious and special gift he had ever given to his mother. The gift that had cost him nearly two month's wages back then. A very long time ago, when his Father had simply been a talented, hard-working young man in the military who happened to fall in love with a beautiful little English girl with the face of an angel.
He remembered choking back his emotions when his Father gave it to him. It brought back all the memories of his mother and how much his Father had loved her. He had felt honoured to be given it and promised to treasure it always.
Scott had only ever opened the box one other time since then. The day he tried to offer it to Adelaide.
The inscription his father lovingly placed inside the ring for his mother had reflected his own feelings for Adelaide. Feelings she cast aside that night when she had refused him. Other than losing his Mother, it had been the most dreadful moment of his life.
His mother, on the other hand, had shared a special and wonderful moment with his Father when he asked her to share her life with him.
He and Adelaide had shared nothing but a cold and deathly silence, which ended with him making the decision he regretted sometimes... his decision to join International Rescue.
Whenever he felt lonely or unhappy, Scott Tracy questioned his decision to join his Father's organisation. Normally his black mood and the resultant doubt faded within a short period of time, eased by leading his brothers in another successful rescue operation. Saving lives made the loneliness and frustration he felt worthwhile.
However tonight, after watching his youngest brother tell his Father that he had simply gone ahead and married Tin-Tin Kyrano, his dissatisfaction with his life had surfaced again.
If ever he envied Alan, it was now. Scott hated the fact that despite the trouble he was in, his little brother was now a married man who would see his child's face in seven month's time. He would feel the delicious sensation of making love to his wife, experience the satisfaction of waking up next to her day after day, watch in awe as her belly grew bigger with his child, and experience the wonder of that child's birth. He would have the opportunity to share the ups and downs of raising that child. He would hear his child call him "Daddy".
Scott Tracy knew one thing for sure. None of that was going to happen to him. Not in the foreseeable future anyway.
He didn't need this ring now.
It would be better if his Father gave it to Alan or put it away in his private safe for one of his other brothers. He would give it back to his Father.
He put the ring back in the box and placed it in his pocket.
His watch flashed. His Father had summoned him. It was time for the inevitable.
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A FATHER AND SON TALK ON COMMITMENT
He hated having to sit in the chair opposite his Father. It always made the lecture seem worse. He always lowered the lights even if he forgot to lower his voice. You had nowhere to look but at him so there was nowhere to hide your emotions or how you really felt. Worse still, if he offered you a drink, you knew you were really in for it.
Come on Dad. Just get it over with, he thought impatiently as he watched Jeff Tracy look at the photograph of he and his brothers on the desk.
"Drink son?" he asked quietly.
Scott's eyes opened wide. What for? It had only been a minor mistake. Besides Grandma had asked him to put the Scotch there for when whatever she knew was going to happen, actually happened. It wasn't for him…it was for Alan. Alan was the one in trouble. Wasn't he?
He nodded at his Father and watched nervously as he poured the Scotch into the two glasses. He handed him one and turned down the lights. Dear God here it comes, Scott cringed.
"So Scott… your brother has done exactly what you said he would."
"How's that Sir?"
"Gotten himself into trouble of course."
"Dad I knew he would. But I suppose I underestimated him a bit this time."
Scott saw his father nod quietly in agreement.
"I have to admit the marriage thing completely threw me. I would never have expected him to willingly commit to anyone." Jeff added carefully.
"No Sir. I'm surprised too."
"Marriage is for keeps I say."
Scott looked at his Father with a confused expression on his face.
"I agree."
"You make the commitment to one person and it's forever."
"Yes Dad I know."
"Despite whatever or whoever comes along you are still committed."
"Yes. Of course you are."
"That can be hard for whoever comes along to understand sometimes."
Scott shook his head. His Father had the wrong son at the moment. Shouldn't this lecture be reserved for Alan?
"Dad I don't understand what you're on about. Why are you telling me this? I thought you wanted to speak with me about Alan going on rescue without the mandatory break."
Jeff Tracy looked at his son imperiously.
"I'm telling you this because I think you need to be reminded about it."
"What for? I'm not the one with the wife Dad."
"No but you are involved with someone else's wife. Do you realise that son?"
Scott reddened. He wanted to hide his feelings but here in this room with his Father looking right at him, there was simply nowhere to hide them. Jeff Tracy watched his eldest son shrivel in upon himself.
He had hoped Scott would be asking him what the heck he was talking about. He could have then broken it to him gently that Adelaide Washington was a married woman.
However it appeared Scott knew all right, as his eyes looked everywhere but at him.
His father swallowed his scotch and sat in an angry and disillusioned silence.
Scott's emotions sat in limbo as he realised his Father knew about his relationship with Adelaide Washington. Feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction and jealousy lay close to the surface and were starting to burn out of control as he sat there.
Where do I even begin, he thought desolately. I don't want to tell him about my Air Force days or the fact that I lived with Adelaide for all those years without him knowing. I don't want him to know about the proposal or about the baby. About how his damned dream for a Rescue organisation ruined my plans for a family and a life of my own. How my heart still aches for what might have been and could have been. How my brother now has everything I should have had yet he has never had to be responsible about anything and I have always had to be responsible for everything. How I have had no real life of my own since I was nine years old.
"Dad" he said after a while. "Leave it be. This is too complicated for you to be involved in."
Jeff Tracy was usually sensitive to his son's moods and generally knew when it was time to let a touchy subject drop. However, this subject was important to him. Morality, truth and decency had always been everything in the Tracy family. His Father had instilled it in him and he had instilled it in his own sons. Even young Alan had shown decency when it came down to it. What his eldest son was doing just wasn't right and against his upbringing.
"Scott. I'm really disappointed in you. I thought you of all of your brothers understood that marriage is a special bond between a man and a woman and it is for keeps. This woman may be unhappy with her husband but I don't like the fact that you are placing yourself in the position of being responsible for ruining her marriage."
Scott eyed his Father. He was twenty-nine years old for God's sake. If he wanted to do what he was doing why couldn't he? So he would be responsible for ruining her marriage? What was one more thing to be responsible for?
He shook his head. If he could speak the truth, he was tired of responsibility. Tired of forever being the reliable, obedient eldest brother who constantly put himself last behind everything and everybody.
He breathed deeply, desperately trying to stay in control.
Calm down Scott. Hold it in. Dad's right. What I'm doing is wrong. I know it is. I shouldn't be doing this with Adelaide. Her marriage should be for keeps. I don't know if she's unhappy but I can't be responsible for the marriage breaking down. It's not the Tracy way. I'm wrong. I'm doing this because I'm lonely and it was me that chose this life of loneliness. It's my fault. I have to live with my choice.
" You're right Dad." he managed to push through his lips. "But there's a lot more to this than what you know."
Jeff Tracy filled his glass back up. He did the same with Scott's. Scott Tracy suddenly realised the dreadful truth. His Grandmother had placed this bottle here for him and his Father. It wasn't for Alan. Only his Grandmother knew about his past with Adelaide Washington. He had confided in her when it had happened.
Jeff said nothing. He hoped his eldest son would open up to him and tell him about this relationship so that he could try to understand. He watched Scott struggle with his emotions. He wasn't going to let them out. He had learned to keep them well hidden since he was nine years old.
"Dad. I won't see her anymore." he said simply after nearly five minutes of silence and internal turmoil. "You're right. I am doing the wrong thing and there's no excuse for it. It's just…"
"Scott?"
Scott shook his head.
"No, it's nothing Sir."
Jeff's heart fell. He knew of Scott's involvement with Adelaide. His Mother had inadvertently told him earlier in the day when he'd asked her if she recalled Adelaide from Boston. Josie Tracy had sounded off like a bomb exploding in a basement about what that girl had done to his eldest son right from the time she'd lured him into the bathroom at sixteen, right through to her rejection of his marriage proposal over a year ago. After she was through she then said in a shocked voice.
"I can't believe I just told you all that Jeff Tracy. Don't you let on to Scott that I told you. He'll never forgive me."
Well, if Scott wasn't prepared to tell him that was that then. He knew of the close bond Scott had with his Grandmother and did not wish to jeopardise it. He wasn't going to pry into his son's business other than to express his concern that he was being morally wrong with this woman. Scott had agreed it was wrong and he hoped he would now end the relationship quickly and get on with things again.
He guessed it was back to International Rescue Business then. It was the way it was with he and his eldest son. Forget anything where feelings are involved. Just get on with the job.
"I want to speak with you about the rule in this Organisation on mandatory six hour breaks before flight."
"I know Dad. I should have made Alan take it. You would have made me take it."
"Well… maybe… maybe not. I trust you son. If you felt he was all right to go, I'll accept that."
"You're patronising me now Dad. You weren't happy a few hours back."
"I know but I thought about it on the way home. Sometimes things can't be set in concrete. I'm accepting that I left you in charge and you made the call. It happened to be the right one this time."
"Yes Sir. Thank you. But having said that Dad, six hours recovery time would be optimal."
"You're learning Scott."
They sat in silence as they finished their drinks. Scott's thoughts were lost in how he was going to end his relationship with Adelaide Washington. He suddenly remembered the ring. He reached into his pocket and took out the box. He placed it on the desk in front of his Father.
"By the way I thought I would return this to you Sir."
Jeff Tracy frowned. What was he returning his mother's engagement ring for?
That box and its contents held a hell of a lot of memories for him... memories extremely close to his heart.
Memories of him holding her hand for over an hour in that morgue.
Memories of him debating whether or not to bury her wearing it.
Memories of her surprised expression when he had asked her to marry him.
Memories of how nervous he had felt that she would say no.
Memories of absolute elation when she had said yes.
Memories of removing it from her lifeless finger.
Memories of giving it to his eldest son; the one he felt the closest to. The one she had given him first. The one most like him.
Jeff sighed within. If he and Scott were close, why couldn't he tell him about his heartache? What had they lost over the years? Unfortunately he knew. Jeff Tracy had pretended his feelings didn't exist for over twenty years and Scott had taken a very big cue from him. His other sons had their mother in them when it came to expressing their feelings but Scott...Scott was different.
Lucille Evans had given very little of herself to him in that department.
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THE SPIRIT
"That's not true Jeff. He is a wonderful sensitive man."
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THE FATHER
"You're not back again are you?"
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THE SPIRIT
"Yes I am and you'd better get used to it my darling."
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THE GRANDFATHER
"I believe that's in December. Have I guessed right?"
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THE GRANDDAUGHTER
"Yes."
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THE GRANDFATHER
"I am looking forward to it Lucy."
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THE SPIRIT
"I hope you tell your youngest son that."
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THE FATHER
"Come on Lucille. I've got a long way to go with him yet."
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THE SPIRIT
"You have a long way to go with your eldest son too by the look of it.'
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THE FATHER
"I know."
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THE SPIRIT
"Don't let him give you my ring back Jeff. It will be the end of him."
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THE FATHER
"What can I do? He won't open up to me. His Grandmother doesn't want him to know she told me."
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THE SPIRIT
"I'll see what I can do with him."
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Jeff Tracy finally spoke.
"Why are you returning this Scott? I gave it to you for a reason."
Scott's face was a mask of pure distress. How he wished he could hide that mask from his Father. He had to get out of here. His soul was on display for his Father to see and he didn't like it. Not one little bit.
"Dad. May I please be excused." he said in a flat voice.
"No. You may not be excused. Not until you tell me why you are giving this back to me."
Scott said nothing.
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THE SPIRIT
"Darling. Talk to your Father."
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SON NUMBER 1
"He doesn't understand."
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THE SPIRIT
"You never give him the chance to understand. This isn't good for you. Tell him. Tell him what you've been through."
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SON NUMBER 1
"Forget it. I said I'd do what he wants. I should have given up on her a long time ago anyway. She didn't want me back then and I guess I'm only using her now."
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THE SPIRIT
"Baby don't do this to yourself. I know you still love her."
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SON NUMBER 1
"I don't love her. Don't kid yourself. I'm used to being hurt now. I don't need to tell Dad how I feel."
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THE SPIRIT
"Don't say that. You never get used to being hurt darling."
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SON NUMBER 1
"I have gotten used to it. First I lost you. Then I lost her. Believe me when I say you get used to it."
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The silence continued.
"Scott…" Jeff began but stopped himself. He'd promised his Mother he wouldn't say anything but this was his eldest son. Surely Scott could bring himself to confide in him. What was stopping him? Why was it so hard for him to show his feelings?
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THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"That's because you never show him your feelings Jeff."
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THE FATHER
"Lucille I gather that getting through to him was too hard even for you."
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THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"Unfortunately yes but you're the one he mirrors himself on Jeff. Not me.
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THE FATHER
"Don't blame me for how he is."
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THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"I am blaming you and I have ever since I passed over. If you showed your feelings to your sons like you used to when I was alive, things would be a lot different around here."
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THE FATHER SPEAKS WITH DIFFICULTY
"I can't. Losing you changed everything."
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THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"Show your feelings to your son about him giving up my ring. Maybe he'll open up to you then."
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Jeff sighed. He had never experienced such internal turmoil. Could it really be her? It was her sort of advice all right. Nevertheless he would take it. He would try to reach Scott one more time.
He picked up the box that contained the ring. He opened it and felt the pain stab through his heart as he looked inside.
"It is a very simple ring compared to what I would expect your mother would have been wearing now." he began carefully.
Scott said nothing.
"But it's funny Scott. Even if your mother were alive now I don't think she would have allowed me to buy her something better."
Still nothing.
"Did I ever tell you about proposing to your mother?"
It was Scott's turn to feel the pain stab through his heart.
Please don't talk about proposals Dad, he thought. Not now.
However he looked attentively at his Father. His Father never spoke about his mother and when he did he liked to listen.
" No Sir, I don't believe you ever did "
"Another drink?"
"Yes Sir. Thank you."
The Scotch was starting to numb the pain he felt anyway. It had also started to make him let his guard down. Scott decided to take care and sip this one slowly.
Jeff Tracy did not pour into his own glass. He had another son to deal with yet but not until he was done with this one.
"Where was I? Oh yes. Proposing to your mother. You know Scott I was a bit of a jealous type back then and I was really worried about losing your mother to someone else. She was so pretty and lively and so forthright, I lived each day half scared she'd realise that I was not the only young man in Houston who had eyes for her."
"You never struck me as the jealous type Dad." Scott said honestly.
"Well I had a lot of buddies in the Forces who I still kicked around with even though I'd signed up with NASA. A few of them really liked the look of your mother."
"You didn't propose because of that did you Dad?"
Jeff's eyes shone as his memories came back.
"No. I guess not. It all went back to worrying about what I was going to buy her for Christmas that first year she moved in with me."
"You lived with her Dad? Before you were married?" Scott asked incredulously.
"Yes I did." Jeff said, admitting that side of things for the first time. "And I'm going to tell you about your mother and I so you understand how important it is to me that you don't give this ring back."
"All right Dad."
"Contrary to what you think I only met your mother three times before I invited her to come and live with me in Houston. I didn't think she would actually do it. But she did. She left England against her parent's wishes and moved right in with me."
"What did Grandma think of that?" Scott asked.
"Your Grandmother knew and she wasn't happy. Not that your mother and I shared a bed straight up. I was a gentleman just as I have raised you and your brothers to be, but the truth is I was terrified to make the first move until she knew me better. It wasn't because I didn't want to because believe me I did. Well the way it turned out… and your Grandmother knows this too… much to my eternal torment… we ended up together in Kansas three days after she arrived. I still don't know how that happened."
Scott tried to hide a half-smile. He wasn't hearing this. This couldn't be his Father sitting there admitting this.
"After that… I guessed we were together. We enjoyed those times Scott… getting to know each other intimately as a man and a woman…feeling more for each other as each day passed. I wanted us to be together forever within two weeks and I knew I wanted to ask her even though I didn't know what the answer was going to be. I worried she would say no because of the dangerous career I'd chosen. However I decided I would risk her saying no to me. I brought the ring with all the money my Dad had made me save up since I'd first signed in the Air Force. I blew every last cent I owned on that ring. He'd have killed me if knew."
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THE SPIRIT
"Darling. Don't you see? Your Father was the same as you back then. You can tell him about what happened. He'll understand how you feel."
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SON NUMBER 1
"Maybe."
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THE SPIRIT
"Open up to him Scott. He wants you to open up. "
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SON NUMBER 1
"I haven't opened up since the night he forgot my birthday when I was nine. I opened up to him about you. He pushed me away Mom."
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THE SPIRIT
"He won't push you away now baby.
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Scott finally spoke. It wasn't what the spirit wanted him to say.
"And what happened?"
"I remember that Christmas morning so vividly. I remember lying there for nearly an hour, wide-awake, watching her sleep next to me. Panicking. Normally on my days off I'd make us breakfast in bed. That morning I couldn't even bring myself to wish her good morning. I'd rehearsed what I was going to say and I couldn't say anything else. When she woke up I thrust the box in her hands and asked her to open it. She said to me. "Jeff, aren't you even going to say good morning?"
"What did you do Dad?"
"I said Lucy just open the box. I've got something to ask you."
"She would have known what you wanted to say by then Dad."
Jeff Tracy shook his head.
"No; we'd only been together a few months and I'd never indicated that I was going to commit to her. She looked at the ring at then looked at me. She said how beautiful it was but it was far too expensive for someone like her. I took her hand and looked at her…right in those beautiful brown eyes of hers and I said "Lucy Evans I love you. I want you to share the rest of my life with me. Will you marry me?"
Scott lowered his head. Almost the same words he had said to Adelaide.
"She didn't say anything. I thought she was going to say no"
Scott's eyes welled. Adelaide hadn't said anything either. He had thought she was going to say no too.
"When she finally said yes I was so relieved."
Scott lowered his head to hide his emotions. Adelaide didn't say yes. She said no.
"Putting that ring on her finger was the happiest day of my life. Better than the day I walked on the moon. And Scott… taking it off her finger after she died was the saddest."
Scott's heart felt as if it was breaking all over again. Putting that ring back in the box and walking away was the saddest day of his life. This was where he differed from his Father despite their close resemblance. His Father had achieved it all; A commission in the Air Force, NASA, a wife, and a family. Not him. He had lost out all around in the Air Force despite his talent and as for his private life. It spoke for itself!
Jeff Tracy sighed. This son of his just wasn't going to say anything no matter what he tried. He held out the box to his son.
"Scott. I want you to keep this. You are the only one who understands what it means to me."
Finally it came.
"Dad. I can't keep it…not after what happened to me with that ring."
Scott opening up was like a tiny ray of sunshine peeking through thick grey clouds. He only allowed a small amount of himself to be seen and the clouds loomed nearby ever ready to swallow it up.
"Dad…Adelaide and I have known each other for a long time. She and I were very close before International Rescue began."
"I gather she wasn't married to Mark then."
"No Dad she wasn't. She lived with me Sir. She lived with me for four years. I felt the same way as you did Dad but it took me four years to feel it. When you told me we couldn't have outsiders in International Rescue I asked her to marry me. I practised what I was going to say to her over and over as well…but unlike my Mother she said no. She didn't love me enough to commit to me. I offered her my own mother's ring and everything I had and she still said no "
Scott felt tears prick his eyelids. He wouldn't tell him about the baby. There was just too much pain. His heart slammed shut like a trap. He swallowed to remain in control.
"So as you can see Dad I am in no need of it now." he finished with difficulty. "Now if you will excuse me Sir."
He stood up and left the room in his devastation.
Jeff Tracy put down the ring in silence.
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TO THE SPIRIT
"Oh my God Lucy; I never knew."
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The Spirit did not reply. She prepared herself to watch over her youngest son. Scott had forgotten her request to stand by him.
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A FATHER AND SON TALK ON COMMITMENT
He knew it had only been a matter of time before his watch flashed after seeing Scott leave their Father's Office. Scott didn't look too happy, Alan observed. He guessed it was his fault. No doubt their Father was agitated about him and had taken it out on Scott.
Well here he was. This must be how you felt on death row. You knew what was coming. You knew it fitted the crime. You knew you deserved it. You just didn't know at what point it would actually happen to you.
I know he's going to pour me a drink and sit me in that chair, Alan thought in fear. I'm going to have to sit here with that light turned down and look him right in the face and admit to what I did with the money. Then I'm going to get it for taking Tin-Tin to that clinic in the first place.
He stood in the doorway watching his Father look at some picture of he and his brothers in a tree. He'd never seen that picture before.
Come on Dad. Just get it over with, he thought nervously.
"Drink son?" he asked.
He nodded his head at his Father and watched apprehensively as he poured the Scotch into the two glasses. He handed him one and invited him to sit down. The lights were already turned down. Dear God here it comes, Alan cringed.
"So Alan… Should I congratulate you on your best effort yet?" he asked quietly.
Oh no; not the quiet voice. He was in serious trouble. Don't talk to me quietly Dad. Please yell at me. Hit me if you want to but don't subject me to the quiet approach. It was the worst punishment of all.
Alan sat silently. You didn't speak during the quiet voice. He learnt that a long time ago.
"I wonder sometimes if you lie in bed in the evenings and dream up these things. But I guess these days you don't lie in bed on your own do you."
Alan looked at his Father and quickly averted his eyes when he saw how absolutely furious he was.
A DIALOGUE - COMMITMENT TO KYRANO
"What happened with Kyrano?"
"I spoke with him for quite some time Sir. He made his position very clear."
"And what was his position?"
"He is not pleased at my treatment of Tin-Tin."
"Can you blame him?"
"No Dad."
"Well I guess you can't blame me either."
"No Sir."
"I would have hit you if it would have been my daughter."
"I know you would."
"How could you possibly have treated that girl like that? Taken her to that place? Then expected her to sleep with you afterwards?"
"I'm sorry Dad."
"Don't give me sorry. You're supposed to be my son. A Tracy son. I raised you to be a decent man as my father raised me. What you asked her to do in San Diego wasn't what decent men do."
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THE SPIRIT INTERVENES
"Jeff you asked me to abort the son in front of your eyes. Are you are decent man then?"
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THE ANGRY FATHER
"Keep out of this Lucille."
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THE SPIRIT INTERVENES
"Don't tell me to keep out of this. He's my son.
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THE ANGRY FATHER
"He's my son. You are now his daughter. I'm looking after your well-being in trying to teach him."
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"Dad. I didn't make her do any of it. I didn't go through with it. I didn't sleep with her. I haven't slept with her for nearly five weeks."
"You grew up with her Alan. You played with her. You listened to music together. You went to school together. I saw you kiss her. You told me you loved her only nine weeks ago. How could you turn around and do that?"
"I'm sorry Dad."
"Sorry doesn't change anything. And as for this marriage thing; you don't have enough maturity for marriage. Look at how you behaved when faced with responsibility of the child. You ran Alan. You ran away from it."
"But I came back Dad when I saw the baby on the screen."
"The fact is you still ran. When life gets hard you always run or do something stupid. You can't run away from this commitment now. It's for life."
"I understand that."
"Well, what does Kyrano want you to do about it?"
"Nothing Sir. He approved that I married her Sir."
"He what?"
"He approved Sir. But he warned me I had commitments now to her and to our baby."
A DIALOGUE - COMMITMENT TO THE TRACY BABY
"You do have commitments. Do you have any idea of what having a child means Alan?"
"A lifetime of commitment Sir."
"Exactly. At least you remembered I told you that. Do you know how important a Father is to a child?"
"Yes Dad. That's why I married Tin-Tin. So her baby would have a Father."
"Her baby always had a Father whether you committed yourself or not. You are the baby's father and you will always be that baby's father. That is your lifetime of commitment. It won't matter how old your baby is or where it is or what it becomes Alan; you will always be that baby's Father just as I am your Father."
"Yes Sir."
"And what do you think Fathers are supposed to be like?"
"Like you Dad."
"Do you think you are anything like me?"
"No Sir. "
"Do you think I am like my Father?"
"I don't know Sir."
"Well I am. He taught me about what commitment means. He taught me to be true to myself, committed to my parents, committed to my wife and my children. He is the reason I haven't given up on you years ago Alan Shepherd Tracy. You are nothing like me. You don't have the values of commitment despite me trying to teach you them your whole life."
"Dad I do have values."
"Do you think you can run away from your child if it turns out the way you seemed to have? Tell me would have given up on yourself by now if you were in my shoes?"
"Yes Sir."
"As I said before Alan;you are nothing like me."
"No Sir but I can learn."
A DIALOGUE - COMMITMENT TO TIN-TIN
"You'll need to learn to be a decent husband too. Have you any idea how Tin-Tin's feeling right now with this pregnancy?"
"I know she's been sick Dad."
"Just sick? Is that all you think she feels? "
"I don't understand Dad."
"She has a child inside her. Women change when that happens. The Tin-Tin you had in your bed five weeks ago is not the one that is upstairs now. You have to be considerate of her and understanding of what is happening to her. You have to put your own needs last. Do things for her that count. Love her no matter what reception you get in return. Keep remembering you were the one that did it to her in the first place. That's commitment."
"Yes Sir."
"What are you going to say when she cries about being fat and unattractive?"
"Tin-Tin won't do that."
"Yes she will. Take it from me. It happened to me five times. What are you going to say to her?"
"Tell her the truth Sir. That she's beautiful no matter what."
"Where are you going to be when that child's born?"
"Holding her hand Sir."
An awkward silence. He hadn't been able to hold Lucy's hand when this son had been born.
"God willing yes you will. And afterwards?"
"By her side Sir."
"And when the child cries at night?"
"Awake when it's my turn Sir."
"And when Tin-Tin cries from exhaustion?"
"Awake when it's not my turn Sir."
"You have all the answers Alan. I know you do because I raised you right. You are the one that needs to grow up and apply what I've taught you to your life."
"I know that Sir."
A DIALOGUE - EXPLAINING THE MONEY
"Now I want your explanation of the transactions over the past few days Alan."
Alan lowered his head and sat in silence.
"I'm sorry Dad." he finally murmured. "I don't have an excuse for any of it."
"I'm not asking for an excuse boy. I'm asking for your explanation."
Alan felt sick. Just how did he explain to his Father that he had been dishonest in every way possible from forging his signature all the way down to lying to his Business Manager, a man Alan knew his Father trusted more than any other man on the earth?
"Dad; I can't explain. It's too complicated."
"You'd damn well better explain and I'm listening."
Jeff Tracy set his jaw angrily. Alan looked at him. His hands were shaking.
"Sir; I knew that you trusted us. All five of us and you always have. That's why I thought I could get away with it."
"Exactly; I've always trusted you. You've done some stupid, crazy things over the years Alan but I've always trusted you. You've never given me any reason not to trust you until now."
"Dad, when Tin-Tin told me about the baby, I knew I had to do something before you and Kyrano found out about it. I didn't know what to do Dad. I knew asking Tin-Tin to get rid of the baby was wrong but it was the only thing I could think of to get out of the trouble I was in. I couldn't ask Scott to help."
"You could have come to me Alan." his Father replied quietly.
Alan gave him a half-smile. Go to his Father? The righteous Jeff Tracy who never put a foot wrong? Not likely. Still, he knew what his Father expected him to say.
"I'm sorry Sir. I know I should have come to you."
"So you arranged for the termination not knowing how you were going to pay for it?"
"I knew Sir. I always intended to use the Company money."
"You were going to use money that I've made over the years by hard work and sacrifice with no intention of asking me or paying it back?"
"I intended to pay it back Sir."
"Only if I caught you Alan."
"No Dad. I always intended to pay you back. I just wasn't going to tell you I borrowed it."
Jeff Tracy's anger reared. He gripped his son's wrist in a fierce angry grasp and looked him straight in the face.
"You weren't going to tell me you borrowed fifty thousand dollars?"
"No Sir." he swallowed.
"You can't be my son. I swear to God you can't be. Your dishonesty; your absolute disregard for everything and everybody; your stupidity never ceases to amaze me. And it's not just that Alan. It's the fact that you think I'm stupid; that you think I'm stupid enough not to miss fifty thousand dollars in my own company."
"I'm sorry Sir. I should have realised you would miss it.
Jeff Tracy was really angry now. He railed angrily at his youngest son who sat terrified, trapped in his father's angry grasp. The punishment fits the crime he murmured to himself, the punishment fits the crime, and the punishment fits the crime.
Jeff Tracy roared,
"I built this business up from nothing. Nothing do you hear me? I left NASA with nothing but a handshake and a payout even though I'd walked on the moon. I worked my damned ass off for years Alan to provide for your mother and the five of you. You never remember the tough times. You weren't around then. All you know is that you've had a silver spoon in your mouth your whole damned life."
"Yes Sir. I'm sorry Sir."
"Sorry? Sorry? Sorry was what I had to say to your Grandmother when I had to ask her to sell my Father's farm to get me out of trouble so I could pay for your Mother's funeral. My business was in trouble then; in trouble because of when you decided to come along."
" Me Sir?"
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THE SPIRIT INTERJECTS
"No Jeff. Don't."
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THE ANGRY FATHER
"Keep out of it"
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THE SPIRIT INTERJECTS
"Please don't tell him."
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THE ANGRY FATHER
"I said keep out of it!"
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ALAN TRACY'S DAUGHTER
"If you say this to him, he'll say the same to me one day.
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ALAN TRACY'S FATHER
"What the hell is he going to say to you?"
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JEFF TRACY'S GRANDDAUGHTER
"He'll say things changed for the worse for him because he once made love to my mother."
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Jeff Tracy went to open his mouth to his youngest son in reply. He closed it again. Yes things had gone wrong for him that night with Lucy when the son on front of him was conceived. That night had been the beginning of the end of his life with her not just the trouble in his business. Now things were going right as a result of the night his son and Tin-Tin had conceived Lucy's spirit in their child. It could be the beginning of his new life with her even if it was through his grandchild. He couldn't jeopardise that. Not for anything.
Alan sat silently. He swallowed and looked at the desk.
Jeff released his grip on his youngest son.
"You have no idea what it is to struggle Alan." he finished quietly. "I do and I won't be taken for a fool by you. Forging my signature may be acceptable to you but it's not acceptable to me. "
After five minutes of silence Alan had the courage to look back up into his Father's eyes.
"Dad. It's like I said, I haven't got any excuses but I am going to pay you back.
I've decided to race at Parola Sans again. It's a sure fire race for me. When I win I'll pay you all the money I owe you and more if you like. "
"What if you get hurt?"
"I won't get hurt."
"You have a wife and a child to consider now."
"I have to consider that I took the money too Dad. I wasted twenty five thousand dollars of your money for nothing."
"You're not racing. I don't care how much money you wasted. You're too cut throat on the track. I can't run the risk of Tin-Tin losing you to a stupid car-race."
"Dad I'll be fine."
"Alan. You have no idea how hard it is to be a single parent. I do and I don't want that for Tin-Tin. You'll do what I tell you about the money. I know it was twenty-five thousand dollars and it's a lot of money but it's a small price to pay for you to grow up."
"Sir?"
"I've decided you will go to work to pay your debt to me. When I need you to conduct Tracy Enterprise Business in New York for me you will go. Normally Scott and Virgil go but I've decided that it's best if they remain at the base for a few months. Scott can expand his Astronaut training to cover your absence. This work will be in addition to your rotation in the satellite."
"Yes Sir."
"Alan. I don't think you understand the significance of what you did; taking the money from me. You caused me to mistrust Hank Davies, mistrust your brothers and above all mistrust you. I don't trust you at the moment and you will have to earn my trust again by your dealings in New York. I have warned Hank to watch you carefully."
"Dad I am honest. I only did it because I didn't know what else to do."
"No you were not honest. You are immature Alan. Too immature to admit you failed Tin-Tin by not protecting yourself. So you failed yourself instead by being dishonest and in being dishonest you have failed me. You had better not ever fail me again and you sure as hell had better not fail Tin-Tin."
"That's mostly what Kyrano said to me Sir."
"That's what being a Father is about Alan.
Commitment and expectation."
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Author's Note - Please review with your thoughts. Sorry Mad-Friend, I couldn't find any humour to lighten this up!
There are only two chapters to go to the total Commitment to their child.
NEXT CHAPTER - COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER
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CHAPTER EIGHT - FATHERS AND SONS ON COMMITMENT
He stood in his study looking down at the photograph on the desk. He didn't know who had put it there but he guessed that more than likely it had been his mother.
The photograph was taken when his five sons were all still very young and all very innocent. When climbing a tree was the type of thing they did to make the days go by. Now they all indulged in adult matters. How Jeff Tracy longed to be back in those untroubled times sometimes.
He looked at the face of his youngest son. He was four years old; a sweet, innocent-faced little boy being guarded by his eldest brother. His eldest son looked older than his thirteen years. His lips were unsmiling and his face showed the burden of responsibility.
He remembered giving Scott the task.
"Grandma wants a photograph of the five of you. Now climb the tree with your brothers and make sure no one gets hurt." he had directed as he headed out to a business meeting.
Scott had obeyed.
Jeff Tracy remembered the task he had given his eldest son only two days before.
"Look out for International Rescue for me. Man the base with your brothers and make sure no-one gets hurt." he had directed as he headed out to a business meeting.
Scott had obeyed.
Jeff Tracy remembered Alan squirming in the tree back then and Scott anxiously tending to his every move.
He remembered Alan squirming in the lounge just now and Scott anxiously tending to his every move.
His eldest son had always shown the qualities of obedience, reliability, and fatherly concern.
His youngest son had always displayed the fact that he had none of them. He was disobedient, unreliable and didn't have a fatherly bone in his body.
Of the two of them why did it have to be the youngest to become the father of his first grandchild? He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it.
He shook his head in frustration.
Josie Tracy entered the room. She stood eyeing him in the doorway. He looked over at her. She had that determined look on her face and he wasn't in the mood for one of her good-natured arguments right now.
"Before you speak mother I just want you to know that I know exactly what you're going to say."
The old lady looked at him with amusement. No he didn't. If he did he'd be shocked.
"Am I going to say, Jeff Tracy you can't say you disapprove of this marriage? You know as well as I do that you would have made them get married anyway?"
He rolled his eyes.
"Yes that's exactly what I expected you to say."
Her eyes flashed with mirth. She felt wonderful at the news of this baby even if he didn't.
"Well you're wrong as usual because that wasn't what I was going to say. I was going to say how glad I am about the child and that this marriage your son has made with that little Kyrano girl has been by his own commitment. I don't want you making him think he didn't have a choice."
"Mother. I simply can't believe he committed himself at all. I know it won't last."
She looked decidedly annoyed.
"Why ever not? That Grandson of mine is a good and decent young man. It will last. He loves that girl. He wouldn't have married her if he didn't. Surely you can see that."
"A good and decent young man would not have made Kyrano's daughter pregnant in the first place."
"A good and decent young man made your little Lucy pregnant Jeff Tracy."
"Mother don't start.," he snapped.
" I've held my tongue about Scott for thirty years Jeff. I know Lucy was pregnant when you married her and I don't care if you tell me you planned to marry her before you put Scott inside her or not. You still did things the wrong way around and you weren't honest with me about it either. Even so the two of you shared a good and special marriage together. Alan's marriage will be the same as yours. "
Jeff Tracy sighed…audibly. Maybe she would get the hint and leave him be. No such luck. He knew she would continue to argue until he caved in. Well he wasn't going to!
" Just remember your good and decent grandson was willing to abort his child because it suited him." he pointed out.
"He didn't though Jeff. That's all that counts in my opinion."
"Mother, during the past few hours this household seems to have reverted back to how things used to be when Lucy was around. She could never see the other side to her sons and all of a sudden neither can you. Fortunately I can. I'm telling you Alan won't last through the tough times. I know he won't and if you were thinking straight you'd know that too."
"You and Lucy made it through the tough times when Grant didn't think you would."
"I loved Lucy and we had the boys to bring up. Besides Dad never liked the fact that Lucy was in my life. He didn't want us to last."
"Alan loves her Jeff and he will soon have his little one to bring up too.
Unlike your Father with Lucy, I know you already love Tin-Tin like a daughter. Deep down I know you want them to last. I don't know what you're worried about. She'll stand by him. Where was she when he faced you and her Father this evening? Right next to him that's where. Just like Lucy was whenever you were worried or frightened about anything."
"I'm not worried about Tin-Tin standing by him. It's a matter of whether he will stand by her mother!"
"Oh Jeff. You are just being difficult. Of course he will."
He was becoming exasperated. He said matter-of-factly,
"Mother. My youngest son is currently in a lot of trouble whether you care to acknowledge it or not. You might think because he married Tin-Tin that Kyrano and I approve and everything is now plain wonderful. I don't know what the hell Kyrano thinks about it but I know what I think. I also know what I'd do if Alan did those things to any daughter of mine. Now could you please do me a favor and let Scott get on with briefing me on what's been happening around here."
Josie shook her head as she turned to leave the room.
Stubborn man.
I'm sorry Lucille, she thought, I did my best. Only you were ever able to talk him around.
As she opened the door she said.
"And by the way I think it's good having things the way they used to be when Lucy was around. It's been too long since we've had that sort of straight talk in this house. You'd better get used to it the way I figure."
He looked up at her. "And why's that Mother?"
"I think you've been hearing the same things I've been hearing."
He looked surprised. Obviously she had heard that voice too!
He and his Mother shared many things but that was quite bizarre. Maybe those thoughts he had when Tin-Tin left the room were right after all! He shook his head. Don't be ridiculous he told himself again.
Josie still stood at the door. Her expression had changed. She now looked worried.
"Jeff." she said quietly fixing her blue eyes on him "Please be careful with your son."
Jeff Tracy did not reply this time.
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A SON ON COMMITMENT
He sat out there on the darkened balcony of his room and looked down at it. He'd carefully taken it out of the box that held it. A perfect circle of gold, cut with modest diamonds and sapphires. The ring was thirty years old and still looked as perfect as the day it was lovingly purchased. His eyes struggled to read the inscription in the fading light as night fell over Tracy Island.
"I will always love you."
He held his mother's engagement ring.
His Father had given it to him after he had graduated from the Air Force Academy. His Father had guessed it would soon be his turn to start a family and as the eldest son wanted him to have the most precious and special gift he had ever given to his mother. The gift that had cost him nearly two month's wages back then. A very long time ago, when his Father had simply been a talented, hard-working young man in the military who happened to fall in love with a beautiful little English girl with the face of an angel.
He remembered choking back his emotions when his Father gave it to him. It brought back all the memories of his mother and how much his Father had loved her. He had felt honoured to be given it and promised to treasure it always.
Scott had only ever opened the box one other time since then. The day he tried to offer it to Adelaide.
The inscription his father lovingly placed inside the ring for his mother had reflected his own feelings for Adelaide. Feelings she cast aside that night when she had refused him. Other than losing his Mother, it had been the most dreadful moment of his life.
His mother, on the other hand, had shared a special and wonderful moment with his Father when he asked her to share her life with him.
He and Adelaide had shared nothing but a cold and deathly silence, which ended with him making the decision he regretted sometimes... his decision to join International Rescue.
Whenever he felt lonely or unhappy, Scott Tracy questioned his decision to join his Father's organisation. Normally his black mood and the resultant doubt faded within a short period of time, eased by leading his brothers in another successful rescue operation. Saving lives made the loneliness and frustration he felt worthwhile.
However tonight, after watching his youngest brother tell his Father that he had simply gone ahead and married Tin-Tin Kyrano, his dissatisfaction with his life had surfaced again.
If ever he envied Alan, it was now. Scott hated the fact that despite the trouble he was in, his little brother was now a married man who would see his child's face in seven month's time. He would feel the delicious sensation of making love to his wife, experience the satisfaction of waking up next to her day after day, watch in awe as her belly grew bigger with his child, and experience the wonder of that child's birth. He would have the opportunity to share the ups and downs of raising that child. He would hear his child call him "Daddy".
Scott Tracy knew one thing for sure. None of that was going to happen to him. Not in the foreseeable future anyway.
He didn't need this ring now.
It would be better if his Father gave it to Alan or put it away in his private safe for one of his other brothers. He would give it back to his Father.
He put the ring back in the box and placed it in his pocket.
His watch flashed. His Father had summoned him. It was time for the inevitable.
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A FATHER AND SON TALK ON COMMITMENT
He hated having to sit in the chair opposite his Father. It always made the lecture seem worse. He always lowered the lights even if he forgot to lower his voice. You had nowhere to look but at him so there was nowhere to hide your emotions or how you really felt. Worse still, if he offered you a drink, you knew you were really in for it.
Come on Dad. Just get it over with, he thought impatiently as he watched Jeff Tracy look at the photograph of he and his brothers on the desk.
"Drink son?" he asked quietly.
Scott's eyes opened wide. What for? It had only been a minor mistake. Besides Grandma had asked him to put the Scotch there for when whatever she knew was going to happen, actually happened. It wasn't for him…it was for Alan. Alan was the one in trouble. Wasn't he?
He nodded at his Father and watched nervously as he poured the Scotch into the two glasses. He handed him one and turned down the lights. Dear God here it comes, Scott cringed.
"So Scott… your brother has done exactly what you said he would."
"How's that Sir?"
"Gotten himself into trouble of course."
"Dad I knew he would. But I suppose I underestimated him a bit this time."
Scott saw his father nod quietly in agreement.
"I have to admit the marriage thing completely threw me. I would never have expected him to willingly commit to anyone." Jeff added carefully.
"No Sir. I'm surprised too."
"Marriage is for keeps I say."
Scott looked at his Father with a confused expression on his face.
"I agree."
"You make the commitment to one person and it's forever."
"Yes Dad I know."
"Despite whatever or whoever comes along you are still committed."
"Yes. Of course you are."
"That can be hard for whoever comes along to understand sometimes."
Scott shook his head. His Father had the wrong son at the moment. Shouldn't this lecture be reserved for Alan?
"Dad I don't understand what you're on about. Why are you telling me this? I thought you wanted to speak with me about Alan going on rescue without the mandatory break."
Jeff Tracy looked at his son imperiously.
"I'm telling you this because I think you need to be reminded about it."
"What for? I'm not the one with the wife Dad."
"No but you are involved with someone else's wife. Do you realise that son?"
Scott reddened. He wanted to hide his feelings but here in this room with his Father looking right at him, there was simply nowhere to hide them. Jeff Tracy watched his eldest son shrivel in upon himself.
He had hoped Scott would be asking him what the heck he was talking about. He could have then broken it to him gently that Adelaide Washington was a married woman.
However it appeared Scott knew all right, as his eyes looked everywhere but at him.
His father swallowed his scotch and sat in an angry and disillusioned silence.
Scott's emotions sat in limbo as he realised his Father knew about his relationship with Adelaide Washington. Feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction and jealousy lay close to the surface and were starting to burn out of control as he sat there.
Where do I even begin, he thought desolately. I don't want to tell him about my Air Force days or the fact that I lived with Adelaide for all those years without him knowing. I don't want him to know about the proposal or about the baby. About how his damned dream for a Rescue organisation ruined my plans for a family and a life of my own. How my heart still aches for what might have been and could have been. How my brother now has everything I should have had yet he has never had to be responsible about anything and I have always had to be responsible for everything. How I have had no real life of my own since I was nine years old.
"Dad" he said after a while. "Leave it be. This is too complicated for you to be involved in."
Jeff Tracy was usually sensitive to his son's moods and generally knew when it was time to let a touchy subject drop. However, this subject was important to him. Morality, truth and decency had always been everything in the Tracy family. His Father had instilled it in him and he had instilled it in his own sons. Even young Alan had shown decency when it came down to it. What his eldest son was doing just wasn't right and against his upbringing.
"Scott. I'm really disappointed in you. I thought you of all of your brothers understood that marriage is a special bond between a man and a woman and it is for keeps. This woman may be unhappy with her husband but I don't like the fact that you are placing yourself in the position of being responsible for ruining her marriage."
Scott eyed his Father. He was twenty-nine years old for God's sake. If he wanted to do what he was doing why couldn't he? So he would be responsible for ruining her marriage? What was one more thing to be responsible for?
He shook his head. If he could speak the truth, he was tired of responsibility. Tired of forever being the reliable, obedient eldest brother who constantly put himself last behind everything and everybody.
He breathed deeply, desperately trying to stay in control.
Calm down Scott. Hold it in. Dad's right. What I'm doing is wrong. I know it is. I shouldn't be doing this with Adelaide. Her marriage should be for keeps. I don't know if she's unhappy but I can't be responsible for the marriage breaking down. It's not the Tracy way. I'm wrong. I'm doing this because I'm lonely and it was me that chose this life of loneliness. It's my fault. I have to live with my choice.
" You're right Dad." he managed to push through his lips. "But there's a lot more to this than what you know."
Jeff Tracy filled his glass back up. He did the same with Scott's. Scott Tracy suddenly realised the dreadful truth. His Grandmother had placed this bottle here for him and his Father. It wasn't for Alan. Only his Grandmother knew about his past with Adelaide Washington. He had confided in her when it had happened.
Jeff said nothing. He hoped his eldest son would open up to him and tell him about this relationship so that he could try to understand. He watched Scott struggle with his emotions. He wasn't going to let them out. He had learned to keep them well hidden since he was nine years old.
"Dad. I won't see her anymore." he said simply after nearly five minutes of silence and internal turmoil. "You're right. I am doing the wrong thing and there's no excuse for it. It's just…"
"Scott?"
Scott shook his head.
"No, it's nothing Sir."
Jeff's heart fell. He knew of Scott's involvement with Adelaide. His Mother had inadvertently told him earlier in the day when he'd asked her if she recalled Adelaide from Boston. Josie Tracy had sounded off like a bomb exploding in a basement about what that girl had done to his eldest son right from the time she'd lured him into the bathroom at sixteen, right through to her rejection of his marriage proposal over a year ago. After she was through she then said in a shocked voice.
"I can't believe I just told you all that Jeff Tracy. Don't you let on to Scott that I told you. He'll never forgive me."
Well, if Scott wasn't prepared to tell him that was that then. He knew of the close bond Scott had with his Grandmother and did not wish to jeopardise it. He wasn't going to pry into his son's business other than to express his concern that he was being morally wrong with this woman. Scott had agreed it was wrong and he hoped he would now end the relationship quickly and get on with things again.
He guessed it was back to International Rescue Business then. It was the way it was with he and his eldest son. Forget anything where feelings are involved. Just get on with the job.
"I want to speak with you about the rule in this Organisation on mandatory six hour breaks before flight."
"I know Dad. I should have made Alan take it. You would have made me take it."
"Well… maybe… maybe not. I trust you son. If you felt he was all right to go, I'll accept that."
"You're patronising me now Dad. You weren't happy a few hours back."
"I know but I thought about it on the way home. Sometimes things can't be set in concrete. I'm accepting that I left you in charge and you made the call. It happened to be the right one this time."
"Yes Sir. Thank you. But having said that Dad, six hours recovery time would be optimal."
"You're learning Scott."
They sat in silence as they finished their drinks. Scott's thoughts were lost in how he was going to end his relationship with Adelaide Washington. He suddenly remembered the ring. He reached into his pocket and took out the box. He placed it on the desk in front of his Father.
"By the way I thought I would return this to you Sir."
Jeff Tracy frowned. What was he returning his mother's engagement ring for?
That box and its contents held a hell of a lot of memories for him... memories extremely close to his heart.
Memories of him holding her hand for over an hour in that morgue.
Memories of him debating whether or not to bury her wearing it.
Memories of her surprised expression when he had asked her to marry him.
Memories of how nervous he had felt that she would say no.
Memories of absolute elation when she had said yes.
Memories of removing it from her lifeless finger.
Memories of giving it to his eldest son; the one he felt the closest to. The one she had given him first. The one most like him.
Jeff sighed within. If he and Scott were close, why couldn't he tell him about his heartache? What had they lost over the years? Unfortunately he knew. Jeff Tracy had pretended his feelings didn't exist for over twenty years and Scott had taken a very big cue from him. His other sons had their mother in them when it came to expressing their feelings but Scott...Scott was different.
Lucille Evans had given very little of herself to him in that department.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"That's not true Jeff. He is a wonderful sensitive man."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE FATHER
"You're not back again are you?"
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"Yes I am and you'd better get used to it my darling."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE GRANDFATHER
"I believe that's in December. Have I guessed right?"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE GRANDDAUGHTER
"Yes."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE GRANDFATHER
"I am looking forward to it Lucy."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"I hope you tell your youngest son that."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE FATHER
"Come on Lucille. I've got a long way to go with him yet."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"You have a long way to go with your eldest son too by the look of it.'
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE FATHER
"I know."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"Don't let him give you my ring back Jeff. It will be the end of him."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE FATHER
"What can I do? He won't open up to me. His Grandmother doesn't want him to know she told me."
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"I'll see what I can do with him."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Jeff Tracy finally spoke.
"Why are you returning this Scott? I gave it to you for a reason."
Scott's face was a mask of pure distress. How he wished he could hide that mask from his Father. He had to get out of here. His soul was on display for his Father to see and he didn't like it. Not one little bit.
"Dad. May I please be excused." he said in a flat voice.
"No. You may not be excused. Not until you tell me why you are giving this back to me."
Scott said nothing.
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"Darling. Talk to your Father."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
SON NUMBER 1
"He doesn't understand."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"You never give him the chance to understand. This isn't good for you. Tell him. Tell him what you've been through."
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SON NUMBER 1
"Forget it. I said I'd do what he wants. I should have given up on her a long time ago anyway. She didn't want me back then and I guess I'm only using her now."
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THE SPIRIT
"Baby don't do this to yourself. I know you still love her."
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SON NUMBER 1
"I don't love her. Don't kid yourself. I'm used to being hurt now. I don't need to tell Dad how I feel."
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THE SPIRIT
"Don't say that. You never get used to being hurt darling."
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SON NUMBER 1
"I have gotten used to it. First I lost you. Then I lost her. Believe me when I say you get used to it."
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The silence continued.
"Scott…" Jeff began but stopped himself. He'd promised his Mother he wouldn't say anything but this was his eldest son. Surely Scott could bring himself to confide in him. What was stopping him? Why was it so hard for him to show his feelings?
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"That's because you never show him your feelings Jeff."
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THE FATHER
"Lucille I gather that getting through to him was too hard even for you."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"Unfortunately yes but you're the one he mirrors himself on Jeff. Not me.
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THE FATHER
"Don't blame me for how he is."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"I am blaming you and I have ever since I passed over. If you showed your feelings to your sons like you used to when I was alive, things would be a lot different around here."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE FATHER SPEAKS WITH DIFFICULTY
"I can't. Losing you changed everything."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT SPEAKS WITH HONESTY
"Show your feelings to your son about him giving up my ring. Maybe he'll open up to you then."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Jeff sighed. He had never experienced such internal turmoil. Could it really be her? It was her sort of advice all right. Nevertheless he would take it. He would try to reach Scott one more time.
He picked up the box that contained the ring. He opened it and felt the pain stab through his heart as he looked inside.
"It is a very simple ring compared to what I would expect your mother would have been wearing now." he began carefully.
Scott said nothing.
"But it's funny Scott. Even if your mother were alive now I don't think she would have allowed me to buy her something better."
Still nothing.
"Did I ever tell you about proposing to your mother?"
It was Scott's turn to feel the pain stab through his heart.
Please don't talk about proposals Dad, he thought. Not now.
However he looked attentively at his Father. His Father never spoke about his mother and when he did he liked to listen.
" No Sir, I don't believe you ever did "
"Another drink?"
"Yes Sir. Thank you."
The Scotch was starting to numb the pain he felt anyway. It had also started to make him let his guard down. Scott decided to take care and sip this one slowly.
Jeff Tracy did not pour into his own glass. He had another son to deal with yet but not until he was done with this one.
"Where was I? Oh yes. Proposing to your mother. You know Scott I was a bit of a jealous type back then and I was really worried about losing your mother to someone else. She was so pretty and lively and so forthright, I lived each day half scared she'd realise that I was not the only young man in Houston who had eyes for her."
"You never struck me as the jealous type Dad." Scott said honestly.
"Well I had a lot of buddies in the Forces who I still kicked around with even though I'd signed up with NASA. A few of them really liked the look of your mother."
"You didn't propose because of that did you Dad?"
Jeff's eyes shone as his memories came back.
"No. I guess not. It all went back to worrying about what I was going to buy her for Christmas that first year she moved in with me."
"You lived with her Dad? Before you were married?" Scott asked incredulously.
"Yes I did." Jeff said, admitting that side of things for the first time. "And I'm going to tell you about your mother and I so you understand how important it is to me that you don't give this ring back."
"All right Dad."
"Contrary to what you think I only met your mother three times before I invited her to come and live with me in Houston. I didn't think she would actually do it. But she did. She left England against her parent's wishes and moved right in with me."
"What did Grandma think of that?" Scott asked.
"Your Grandmother knew and she wasn't happy. Not that your mother and I shared a bed straight up. I was a gentleman just as I have raised you and your brothers to be, but the truth is I was terrified to make the first move until she knew me better. It wasn't because I didn't want to because believe me I did. Well the way it turned out… and your Grandmother knows this too… much to my eternal torment… we ended up together in Kansas three days after she arrived. I still don't know how that happened."
Scott tried to hide a half-smile. He wasn't hearing this. This couldn't be his Father sitting there admitting this.
"After that… I guessed we were together. We enjoyed those times Scott… getting to know each other intimately as a man and a woman…feeling more for each other as each day passed. I wanted us to be together forever within two weeks and I knew I wanted to ask her even though I didn't know what the answer was going to be. I worried she would say no because of the dangerous career I'd chosen. However I decided I would risk her saying no to me. I brought the ring with all the money my Dad had made me save up since I'd first signed in the Air Force. I blew every last cent I owned on that ring. He'd have killed me if knew."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT
"Darling. Don't you see? Your Father was the same as you back then. You can tell him about what happened. He'll understand how you feel."
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
SON NUMBER 1
"Maybe."
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THE SPIRIT
"Open up to him Scott. He wants you to open up. "
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SON NUMBER 1
"I haven't opened up since the night he forgot my birthday when I was nine. I opened up to him about you. He pushed me away Mom."
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THE SPIRIT
"He won't push you away now baby.
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Scott finally spoke. It wasn't what the spirit wanted him to say.
"And what happened?"
"I remember that Christmas morning so vividly. I remember lying there for nearly an hour, wide-awake, watching her sleep next to me. Panicking. Normally on my days off I'd make us breakfast in bed. That morning I couldn't even bring myself to wish her good morning. I'd rehearsed what I was going to say and I couldn't say anything else. When she woke up I thrust the box in her hands and asked her to open it. She said to me. "Jeff, aren't you even going to say good morning?"
"What did you do Dad?"
"I said Lucy just open the box. I've got something to ask you."
"She would have known what you wanted to say by then Dad."
Jeff Tracy shook his head.
"No; we'd only been together a few months and I'd never indicated that I was going to commit to her. She looked at the ring at then looked at me. She said how beautiful it was but it was far too expensive for someone like her. I took her hand and looked at her…right in those beautiful brown eyes of hers and I said "Lucy Evans I love you. I want you to share the rest of my life with me. Will you marry me?"
Scott lowered his head. Almost the same words he had said to Adelaide.
"She didn't say anything. I thought she was going to say no"
Scott's eyes welled. Adelaide hadn't said anything either. He had thought she was going to say no too.
"When she finally said yes I was so relieved."
Scott lowered his head to hide his emotions. Adelaide didn't say yes. She said no.
"Putting that ring on her finger was the happiest day of my life. Better than the day I walked on the moon. And Scott… taking it off her finger after she died was the saddest."
Scott's heart felt as if it was breaking all over again. Putting that ring back in the box and walking away was the saddest day of his life. This was where he differed from his Father despite their close resemblance. His Father had achieved it all; A commission in the Air Force, NASA, a wife, and a family. Not him. He had lost out all around in the Air Force despite his talent and as for his private life. It spoke for itself!
Jeff Tracy sighed. This son of his just wasn't going to say anything no matter what he tried. He held out the box to his son.
"Scott. I want you to keep this. You are the only one who understands what it means to me."
Finally it came.
"Dad. I can't keep it…not after what happened to me with that ring."
Scott opening up was like a tiny ray of sunshine peeking through thick grey clouds. He only allowed a small amount of himself to be seen and the clouds loomed nearby ever ready to swallow it up.
"Dad…Adelaide and I have known each other for a long time. She and I were very close before International Rescue began."
"I gather she wasn't married to Mark then."
"No Dad she wasn't. She lived with me Sir. She lived with me for four years. I felt the same way as you did Dad but it took me four years to feel it. When you told me we couldn't have outsiders in International Rescue I asked her to marry me. I practised what I was going to say to her over and over as well…but unlike my Mother she said no. She didn't love me enough to commit to me. I offered her my own mother's ring and everything I had and she still said no "
Scott felt tears prick his eyelids. He wouldn't tell him about the baby. There was just too much pain. His heart slammed shut like a trap. He swallowed to remain in control.
"So as you can see Dad I am in no need of it now." he finished with difficulty. "Now if you will excuse me Sir."
He stood up and left the room in his devastation.
Jeff Tracy put down the ring in silence.
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TO THE SPIRIT
"Oh my God Lucy; I never knew."
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````
The Spirit did not reply. She prepared herself to watch over her youngest son. Scott had forgotten her request to stand by him.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
A FATHER AND SON TALK ON COMMITMENT
He knew it had only been a matter of time before his watch flashed after seeing Scott leave their Father's Office. Scott didn't look too happy, Alan observed. He guessed it was his fault. No doubt their Father was agitated about him and had taken it out on Scott.
Well here he was. This must be how you felt on death row. You knew what was coming. You knew it fitted the crime. You knew you deserved it. You just didn't know at what point it would actually happen to you.
I know he's going to pour me a drink and sit me in that chair, Alan thought in fear. I'm going to have to sit here with that light turned down and look him right in the face and admit to what I did with the money. Then I'm going to get it for taking Tin-Tin to that clinic in the first place.
He stood in the doorway watching his Father look at some picture of he and his brothers in a tree. He'd never seen that picture before.
Come on Dad. Just get it over with, he thought nervously.
"Drink son?" he asked.
He nodded his head at his Father and watched apprehensively as he poured the Scotch into the two glasses. He handed him one and invited him to sit down. The lights were already turned down. Dear God here it comes, Alan cringed.
"So Alan… Should I congratulate you on your best effort yet?" he asked quietly.
Oh no; not the quiet voice. He was in serious trouble. Don't talk to me quietly Dad. Please yell at me. Hit me if you want to but don't subject me to the quiet approach. It was the worst punishment of all.
Alan sat silently. You didn't speak during the quiet voice. He learnt that a long time ago.
"I wonder sometimes if you lie in bed in the evenings and dream up these things. But I guess these days you don't lie in bed on your own do you."
Alan looked at his Father and quickly averted his eyes when he saw how absolutely furious he was.
A DIALOGUE - COMMITMENT TO KYRANO
"What happened with Kyrano?"
"I spoke with him for quite some time Sir. He made his position very clear."
"And what was his position?"
"He is not pleased at my treatment of Tin-Tin."
"Can you blame him?"
"No Dad."
"Well I guess you can't blame me either."
"No Sir."
"I would have hit you if it would have been my daughter."
"I know you would."
"How could you possibly have treated that girl like that? Taken her to that place? Then expected her to sleep with you afterwards?"
"I'm sorry Dad."
"Don't give me sorry. You're supposed to be my son. A Tracy son. I raised you to be a decent man as my father raised me. What you asked her to do in San Diego wasn't what decent men do."
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THE SPIRIT INTERVENES
"Jeff you asked me to abort the son in front of your eyes. Are you are decent man then?"
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE ANGRY FATHER
"Keep out of this Lucille."
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE SPIRIT INTERVENES
"Don't tell me to keep out of this. He's my son.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
THE ANGRY FATHER
"He's my son. You are now his daughter. I'm looking after your well-being in trying to teach him."
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"Dad. I didn't make her do any of it. I didn't go through with it. I didn't sleep with her. I haven't slept with her for nearly five weeks."
"You grew up with her Alan. You played with her. You listened to music together. You went to school together. I saw you kiss her. You told me you loved her only nine weeks ago. How could you turn around and do that?"
"I'm sorry Dad."
"Sorry doesn't change anything. And as for this marriage thing; you don't have enough maturity for marriage. Look at how you behaved when faced with responsibility of the child. You ran Alan. You ran away from it."
"But I came back Dad when I saw the baby on the screen."
"The fact is you still ran. When life gets hard you always run or do something stupid. You can't run away from this commitment now. It's for life."
"I understand that."
"Well, what does Kyrano want you to do about it?"
"Nothing Sir. He approved that I married her Sir."
"He what?"
"He approved Sir. But he warned me I had commitments now to her and to our baby."
A DIALOGUE - COMMITMENT TO THE TRACY BABY
"You do have commitments. Do you have any idea of what having a child means Alan?"
"A lifetime of commitment Sir."
"Exactly. At least you remembered I told you that. Do you know how important a Father is to a child?"
"Yes Dad. That's why I married Tin-Tin. So her baby would have a Father."
"Her baby always had a Father whether you committed yourself or not. You are the baby's father and you will always be that baby's father. That is your lifetime of commitment. It won't matter how old your baby is or where it is or what it becomes Alan; you will always be that baby's Father just as I am your Father."
"Yes Sir."
"And what do you think Fathers are supposed to be like?"
"Like you Dad."
"Do you think you are anything like me?"
"No Sir. "
"Do you think I am like my Father?"
"I don't know Sir."
"Well I am. He taught me about what commitment means. He taught me to be true to myself, committed to my parents, committed to my wife and my children. He is the reason I haven't given up on you years ago Alan Shepherd Tracy. You are nothing like me. You don't have the values of commitment despite me trying to teach you them your whole life."
"Dad I do have values."
"Do you think you can run away from your child if it turns out the way you seemed to have? Tell me would have given up on yourself by now if you were in my shoes?"
"Yes Sir."
"As I said before Alan;you are nothing like me."
"No Sir but I can learn."
A DIALOGUE - COMMITMENT TO TIN-TIN
"You'll need to learn to be a decent husband too. Have you any idea how Tin-Tin's feeling right now with this pregnancy?"
"I know she's been sick Dad."
"Just sick? Is that all you think she feels? "
"I don't understand Dad."
"She has a child inside her. Women change when that happens. The Tin-Tin you had in your bed five weeks ago is not the one that is upstairs now. You have to be considerate of her and understanding of what is happening to her. You have to put your own needs last. Do things for her that count. Love her no matter what reception you get in return. Keep remembering you were the one that did it to her in the first place. That's commitment."
"Yes Sir."
"What are you going to say when she cries about being fat and unattractive?"
"Tin-Tin won't do that."
"Yes she will. Take it from me. It happened to me five times. What are you going to say to her?"
"Tell her the truth Sir. That she's beautiful no matter what."
"Where are you going to be when that child's born?"
"Holding her hand Sir."
An awkward silence. He hadn't been able to hold Lucy's hand when this son had been born.
"God willing yes you will. And afterwards?"
"By her side Sir."
"And when the child cries at night?"
"Awake when it's my turn Sir."
"And when Tin-Tin cries from exhaustion?"
"Awake when it's not my turn Sir."
"You have all the answers Alan. I know you do because I raised you right. You are the one that needs to grow up and apply what I've taught you to your life."
"I know that Sir."
A DIALOGUE - EXPLAINING THE MONEY
"Now I want your explanation of the transactions over the past few days Alan."
Alan lowered his head and sat in silence.
"I'm sorry Dad." he finally murmured. "I don't have an excuse for any of it."
"I'm not asking for an excuse boy. I'm asking for your explanation."
Alan felt sick. Just how did he explain to his Father that he had been dishonest in every way possible from forging his signature all the way down to lying to his Business Manager, a man Alan knew his Father trusted more than any other man on the earth?
"Dad; I can't explain. It's too complicated."
"You'd damn well better explain and I'm listening."
Jeff Tracy set his jaw angrily. Alan looked at him. His hands were shaking.
"Sir; I knew that you trusted us. All five of us and you always have. That's why I thought I could get away with it."
"Exactly; I've always trusted you. You've done some stupid, crazy things over the years Alan but I've always trusted you. You've never given me any reason not to trust you until now."
"Dad, when Tin-Tin told me about the baby, I knew I had to do something before you and Kyrano found out about it. I didn't know what to do Dad. I knew asking Tin-Tin to get rid of the baby was wrong but it was the only thing I could think of to get out of the trouble I was in. I couldn't ask Scott to help."
"You could have come to me Alan." his Father replied quietly.
Alan gave him a half-smile. Go to his Father? The righteous Jeff Tracy who never put a foot wrong? Not likely. Still, he knew what his Father expected him to say.
"I'm sorry Sir. I know I should have come to you."
"So you arranged for the termination not knowing how you were going to pay for it?"
"I knew Sir. I always intended to use the Company money."
"You were going to use money that I've made over the years by hard work and sacrifice with no intention of asking me or paying it back?"
"I intended to pay it back Sir."
"Only if I caught you Alan."
"No Dad. I always intended to pay you back. I just wasn't going to tell you I borrowed it."
Jeff Tracy's anger reared. He gripped his son's wrist in a fierce angry grasp and looked him straight in the face.
"You weren't going to tell me you borrowed fifty thousand dollars?"
"No Sir." he swallowed.
"You can't be my son. I swear to God you can't be. Your dishonesty; your absolute disregard for everything and everybody; your stupidity never ceases to amaze me. And it's not just that Alan. It's the fact that you think I'm stupid; that you think I'm stupid enough not to miss fifty thousand dollars in my own company."
"I'm sorry Sir. I should have realised you would miss it.
Jeff Tracy was really angry now. He railed angrily at his youngest son who sat terrified, trapped in his father's angry grasp. The punishment fits the crime he murmured to himself, the punishment fits the crime, and the punishment fits the crime.
Jeff Tracy roared,
"I built this business up from nothing. Nothing do you hear me? I left NASA with nothing but a handshake and a payout even though I'd walked on the moon. I worked my damned ass off for years Alan to provide for your mother and the five of you. You never remember the tough times. You weren't around then. All you know is that you've had a silver spoon in your mouth your whole damned life."
"Yes Sir. I'm sorry Sir."
"Sorry? Sorry? Sorry was what I had to say to your Grandmother when I had to ask her to sell my Father's farm to get me out of trouble so I could pay for your Mother's funeral. My business was in trouble then; in trouble because of when you decided to come along."
" Me Sir?"
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THE SPIRIT INTERJECTS
"No Jeff. Don't."
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THE ANGRY FATHER
"Keep out of it"
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THE SPIRIT INTERJECTS
"Please don't tell him."
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THE ANGRY FATHER
"I said keep out of it!"
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ALAN TRACY'S DAUGHTER
"If you say this to him, he'll say the same to me one day.
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ALAN TRACY'S FATHER
"What the hell is he going to say to you?"
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JEFF TRACY'S GRANDDAUGHTER
"He'll say things changed for the worse for him because he once made love to my mother."
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Jeff Tracy went to open his mouth to his youngest son in reply. He closed it again. Yes things had gone wrong for him that night with Lucy when the son on front of him was conceived. That night had been the beginning of the end of his life with her not just the trouble in his business. Now things were going right as a result of the night his son and Tin-Tin had conceived Lucy's spirit in their child. It could be the beginning of his new life with her even if it was through his grandchild. He couldn't jeopardise that. Not for anything.
Alan sat silently. He swallowed and looked at the desk.
Jeff released his grip on his youngest son.
"You have no idea what it is to struggle Alan." he finished quietly. "I do and I won't be taken for a fool by you. Forging my signature may be acceptable to you but it's not acceptable to me. "
After five minutes of silence Alan had the courage to look back up into his Father's eyes.
"Dad. It's like I said, I haven't got any excuses but I am going to pay you back.
I've decided to race at Parola Sans again. It's a sure fire race for me. When I win I'll pay you all the money I owe you and more if you like. "
"What if you get hurt?"
"I won't get hurt."
"You have a wife and a child to consider now."
"I have to consider that I took the money too Dad. I wasted twenty five thousand dollars of your money for nothing."
"You're not racing. I don't care how much money you wasted. You're too cut throat on the track. I can't run the risk of Tin-Tin losing you to a stupid car-race."
"Dad I'll be fine."
"Alan. You have no idea how hard it is to be a single parent. I do and I don't want that for Tin-Tin. You'll do what I tell you about the money. I know it was twenty-five thousand dollars and it's a lot of money but it's a small price to pay for you to grow up."
"Sir?"
"I've decided you will go to work to pay your debt to me. When I need you to conduct Tracy Enterprise Business in New York for me you will go. Normally Scott and Virgil go but I've decided that it's best if they remain at the base for a few months. Scott can expand his Astronaut training to cover your absence. This work will be in addition to your rotation in the satellite."
"Yes Sir."
"Alan. I don't think you understand the significance of what you did; taking the money from me. You caused me to mistrust Hank Davies, mistrust your brothers and above all mistrust you. I don't trust you at the moment and you will have to earn my trust again by your dealings in New York. I have warned Hank to watch you carefully."
"Dad I am honest. I only did it because I didn't know what else to do."
"No you were not honest. You are immature Alan. Too immature to admit you failed Tin-Tin by not protecting yourself. So you failed yourself instead by being dishonest and in being dishonest you have failed me. You had better not ever fail me again and you sure as hell had better not fail Tin-Tin."
"That's mostly what Kyrano said to me Sir."
"That's what being a Father is about Alan.
Commitment and expectation."
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Author's Note - Please review with your thoughts. Sorry Mad-Friend, I couldn't find any humour to lighten this up!
There are only two chapters to go to the total Commitment to their child.
NEXT CHAPTER - COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER
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