Image is Everything
Part Eleven: Hell Hath No Furry Like a Woman Scorned


Hinata calmly took out her kunai and laid them out on her bed.

Every one thought she was such a sweet, shy girl. And she was. That wasn't just an image, she was genuinely kind.

Next were her ninja stars. She'd probably need to use those as well.

She always tried to be nice to her friends, even to her enemies.

Still, she thought, picking up all her sharpest weapons, there was truth to the old saying- hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And Naruto was not going to get away with standing her up.

Hinata jumped out the window of her bedroom, landing on the ground gracefully, even though it would have been easier just to use the front door.

"Naruto," she said, her heart broken in two, "vengeance will be mine."

And with that statement she stalked down the street. Kurenai, who happened to be walking by, saw the murderous intent in her student's eyes.

"Hinata?" she asked, very worried and a little bit scared. She had never seen Hinata act like this. She decided to follow the girl in case something happened. She followed her right to Naruto and Itachi.

"How lucky I am," said Itachi, bowing regally to Kurenai, "that my lovely Kurenai has decided to join me on this beautiful day."

Naruto, on the other hand, was backing away from a very irate Hinata,

"Umm... Hinata?" he asked, as the girl's kunai pressed against his throat and he found himself up against a tree.

"Naruto... you forgot our date."

Naruto gulped. Girls were truly terrifying.

Suddenly, Sasuke appeared on the scene.

"Kurenai-sensei!" He shouted. "Flower Bouquet no Jutsu!"

Kurenai screamed as a huge bouquet of wildflowers came shooting towards her. Of course, she was a ninja and a jounin, so she used her skills to deftly dodge it.

"Ano," said Kakashi, who had walked by and had been watching for the last few minutes, "why is Uchiha Itachi wearing a bright orange jumpsuit?"

Naruto would have answered, but he was currently tied up and hanging from a tree, Hinata madly sharpening a katana nearby.

Itachi glared at his little brother. "Foolish little brother, do you actually think you can beat me in affairs of the heart?"

"Shut up! I will defeat you!" And with that Sasuke drew a rose from his pocket.

Itachi, however, wasn't about to let Sasuke win, so he pulled out his secret weapon... a box of chocolates.

They were both preparing their attacks when they heard screams... from Kurenai and Kakashi. They turned to see what the commotion was.

"Ahhhhhh!" screamed Itachi, "what is that horrible monster?"

Sasuke, for his part, did not scream, but really that was only because he was frozen in fear. Before them stood Shino and some atrocity that looked like Lee... except with two pencil thin lines as eyebrows. It was truly a horrifying sight.

"What?" asked Lee. Why was every one staring at him?

As if enough things weren't going on, Kisame chose that moment to come into the mix. Unfortunately, he jumped onto Kakashi, sending the copy ninja face first onto the ground.

"Guess what, Itachi?" Kisame exclaimed, not noticing that he was standing on top of some one. "Neji's mom is hot! And she's shorter than you! And she's only 26... apparently she got pregnant really young, don't tell any one, but Neji was kind of an accident..."

"Don't you dare go after my mother!" Neji came running into the clearing, weapons in hand and prepared to fight for his mother's honor. "And I was not an accident!"

"Will you please get off of me?!" Kakashi lifted his face from the dirt, screaming at whoever was on his back, when he realized... his mask wasn't on. What happened to his mask?

Every one blinked.

"Kakashi..." Kurenai breathed, cheeks a scarlet rose.

Kakashi knew a bad situation when he saw one. He used all his strength to push Kisame off of him and ran as fast as he could. His new admirers weren't so easily dissuaded, however, and they started running after him.

"Kakashi-sensei," exclaimed Lee, "I never knew the beauty of a man until I laid eyes on you."

"I'll buy you all the chocolate tanukis you want!" said Shino.

Neji started shooting hearts out of his eyes at Kakashi. The ninja would be his.

Even Sasuke and Hinata started running after the ninja, love in their hearts and eyes. Naruto tried, oh how he tried, to follow the lovely Kakashi, but alas, he was still tied up.

Soon, only Itachi and Kisame were left in the clearing.

"You're not in love with him?" Itachi asked.

"I was behind him the whole time. I never saw his face. You?"

"That trick doesn't work on those who have mastered the sharingan."

Kisame looked his partner up and down. "Orange? Dude, that is not your color."

Itachi shrugged, turning away. "I kind of like it."

At that moment Sakura came into the clearing proclaiming her love for Itachi, but Itachi wasn't in the mood to deal with that so he knocked her out with one hit.

"You know... this romantic hero stuff isn't for me."

"Yeah," confessed Kisame, "I didn't think it would be. Let's go back to being villains, ne?"

Itachi nodded. "But I'm keeping the neon orange jumpsuit."

And then they walked off into the sunset, towards... well, towards wherever the hell they came from in the first place.