Chapter 8: Heaven and Hell
I'm not sure how long I was sitting there, watching them try to zap some life into Bosco. They just gave up when they finally got a few beats outta him. Nothing big, but he was alive. What else matters? I'm not sure how long it took us to get to the hospital. I don't remember getting out of the bus. All I remember is the blood, the blood that stained the hospital floor, that I'm standing in right now. I don't mean to stand in it, there's no place on the floor that it isn't. I have to. I'm standing at the glass doors, looking into hell. While I'm standing out here safe and healthy, all hell has broken loose on the other side. This glass door is like Purgatory, separating us from heaven, and hell.
I want to bleed right now. I want someone to slice my skin open and let me bleed. It's only right I feel a lil pain, not even half as much as the man I love, but some. I know that they're behind me. His friends, I know they're standing behind me, watching the same hell I am. But somehow they aren't. Not the same thing. They're watching their friend of 12 years die infront of their eyes. They'll move on with time. But me..... I'm watching myself die. Bosco is and always will be my everything. I'll never get over this, because the second his heart stops so does mine. We are two different people made as one.
I know I'm crying, I can feel the wet tears slowly make their way down my cheeks. I know I'm not the only one though. Faith is balling behind me. God I hate that bitch. Maybe if she had been watching him! Maybe if she had been doing her job right! I know I shouldn't blame this on lard ass Yokas but I have to blame it on someone other than Warner, because I'm scared of Warner but I'm not scared of Yokas. I know I can kick her ass within 10 seconds. I hate how Yokas thinks she's all that. She's ugly and quite honestly she smells like shit. I don't get how Bosco put up with the smell for so long, or how he put up with the whore for so long.
A nurse grabs my arm and pulls me away from the doors as they open. About 10 Doctors rush Bosco out and towards the elevators. I struggle to go with him but this nurse Proctor has a death grip on my arms. I wanted to call out to him, scream his name in hopes that it would chase away all my fears again. My fear of losing him. But I don't. I open my mouth and I stand there looking like an idiot. The nurse lets go of me and walks away slowly. Maybe she knew Bosco, or maybe she's some bitch who's pitying me right now. Or maybe neither.
I looked back into the ER and look at his blood that's being moped away, as if it just belonged to any other person. This guy doesn't care. He doesn't care that he's washing away the blood of the man I love. The blood of a man so many people care for. The blood of an officer. A hero. A man. All it is to him is another job to do before he gets to go home. Selfish bastard. I should make him clean up his own blood., maybe then he'll understand. Maybe then he'll get what the blood really means.
Yokas, Davis, and Sullivan are off to the waiting room. I should go there too. I don't want to be around any of them, and I'm sure they're all goona give me some kinda trouble. Bring it. I'll take them all down with one kick. Assholes. I look back in at the guy who is now making his way outside the glass doors to clean up where I am. Ya know what, I'm gonna give the bastard a job alright.
I walk away down the hall, my shoes leaving footprints of blood. I had been standing in it for awhile. I know I'm leaving a mess behind me. Good. Asshole can clean it up. I get in the elevator and look at the hall. My footprints of Bosco's blood led all the way down here. I hope he has fun cleaning this up. The elevator doors close and I'm finally alone. I tilt my head back against the elevator wall and listen to the "comforting" music. Now all I have to do is wait.
Wait. To see if my life has ended
I'm not sure how long I was sitting there, watching them try to zap some life into Bosco. They just gave up when they finally got a few beats outta him. Nothing big, but he was alive. What else matters? I'm not sure how long it took us to get to the hospital. I don't remember getting out of the bus. All I remember is the blood, the blood that stained the hospital floor, that I'm standing in right now. I don't mean to stand in it, there's no place on the floor that it isn't. I have to. I'm standing at the glass doors, looking into hell. While I'm standing out here safe and healthy, all hell has broken loose on the other side. This glass door is like Purgatory, separating us from heaven, and hell.
I want to bleed right now. I want someone to slice my skin open and let me bleed. It's only right I feel a lil pain, not even half as much as the man I love, but some. I know that they're behind me. His friends, I know they're standing behind me, watching the same hell I am. But somehow they aren't. Not the same thing. They're watching their friend of 12 years die infront of their eyes. They'll move on with time. But me..... I'm watching myself die. Bosco is and always will be my everything. I'll never get over this, because the second his heart stops so does mine. We are two different people made as one.
I know I'm crying, I can feel the wet tears slowly make their way down my cheeks. I know I'm not the only one though. Faith is balling behind me. God I hate that bitch. Maybe if she had been watching him! Maybe if she had been doing her job right! I know I shouldn't blame this on lard ass Yokas but I have to blame it on someone other than Warner, because I'm scared of Warner but I'm not scared of Yokas. I know I can kick her ass within 10 seconds. I hate how Yokas thinks she's all that. She's ugly and quite honestly she smells like shit. I don't get how Bosco put up with the smell for so long, or how he put up with the whore for so long.
A nurse grabs my arm and pulls me away from the doors as they open. About 10 Doctors rush Bosco out and towards the elevators. I struggle to go with him but this nurse Proctor has a death grip on my arms. I wanted to call out to him, scream his name in hopes that it would chase away all my fears again. My fear of losing him. But I don't. I open my mouth and I stand there looking like an idiot. The nurse lets go of me and walks away slowly. Maybe she knew Bosco, or maybe she's some bitch who's pitying me right now. Or maybe neither.
I looked back into the ER and look at his blood that's being moped away, as if it just belonged to any other person. This guy doesn't care. He doesn't care that he's washing away the blood of the man I love. The blood of a man so many people care for. The blood of an officer. A hero. A man. All it is to him is another job to do before he gets to go home. Selfish bastard. I should make him clean up his own blood., maybe then he'll understand. Maybe then he'll get what the blood really means.
Yokas, Davis, and Sullivan are off to the waiting room. I should go there too. I don't want to be around any of them, and I'm sure they're all goona give me some kinda trouble. Bring it. I'll take them all down with one kick. Assholes. I look back in at the guy who is now making his way outside the glass doors to clean up where I am. Ya know what, I'm gonna give the bastard a job alright.
I walk away down the hall, my shoes leaving footprints of blood. I had been standing in it for awhile. I know I'm leaving a mess behind me. Good. Asshole can clean it up. I get in the elevator and look at the hall. My footprints of Bosco's blood led all the way down here. I hope he has fun cleaning this up. The elevator doors close and I'm finally alone. I tilt my head back against the elevator wall and listen to the "comforting" music. Now all I have to do is wait.
Wait. To see if my life has ended
