When The Battle Is Over II

Seifer stood outside the door and waited. Earlier his lover had insisted he say his farewells to rest of the orphanage gang in private. It tore his heart apart to no extent. It was hard to not be with him as often as he could. He had been with him almost twenty-four hours a day for about two weeks. He sat with him and held his hand as he phoned to say his thanks to many colleagues who he felt would be too busy with their own lives to visit him. He leaned into Seifer as he made his speech to the school from within their rooms. He stood within the room and did all he could to ease Squall's pain and encourage him as all those close to him came to pay their farewells. The only time Seifer was gone was when it all became too much for him and he feared he would not be able to hold back the tears. Yet now. Now he asked Seifer in his hushed whisper that he only used for Seifer, too stubborn to let anyone else see how drained and tired he was, even at this point. He asked if he could have a few minutes alone. So Seifer gave him the most convincing 'I understand' nod and made his way blindly from the room. He didn't think the pain could get worse, but even at this time did Squall not trust him with all his soul? Or perhaps he didn't trust himself to make this hard goodbye with Seifer present.

No, he would not doubt his lover's, no, his soul mate's, love and trust of him. Some things needed to be done alone. Squall had a special bond with them, a bond that grew as they fought against Seifer in a sorceress war. He had long ago come to terms with this. It still stung, but he would not begrudge them a private farewell among heroes.

Seifer blindly made his way to the training center to take out his aggressions on the grat population. He walked proudly though the halls like he always did, yet this time he deliberately avoided looking at the students and other faculty members. He couldn't and would not take their pity and knowing looks. They knew nothing.

As Seifer's gunblade came slashing through a grat he vowed to make himself calm enough to return to Squall soon so that they could have some moments peace together and try to find a way to say their farewells. A task that had haunted Seifer's dreams for months and that he naively believed that if it never happened neither would the inevitable of death.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

"Before I say anything else I have a favour to ask all of you." Squall spoke to the heroes of the world around his bed. Squall was ghostly pale and deathly thin, despite this his eyes were sharp reflecting his intelligence and bravery. He was doing a good job of masking his pain and weakness from them, but he still had to use the pillows to prop himself up into a half sitting position. Quistis sat on one side of him while Zell was on the other, sadly clutching his hand. Selphie sat beside Zell, a hand resting on a once lean, and muscular leg beneath a blanket. Irvine hovered behind her, it seemed that for once his casual and peaceful demeanor was gone, replaced by a nervous and saddened man who was trying to put on a brave front.

"Whatever it is Squall, we'll do our best to do it. You know that." Quistis whispered while gently clasping a frail hand. While the others in the room nodded their agreement.

"It's Seifer..." Squall paused to take a deep breath and compose himself. "He won't.. He'll miss me."

"We all will Squall. Seifer's not the only one who loves you, you know?" Irvine smiled down at Squall, as he looked a bit shocked. "We're family Squall. We don't need blood to tell us you're our brother. We love you, no matter what." Squall's lips moved upwards with a hint of a smile. It was always nice to be told someone loves you. Especially when you love them all back. Irvine makes a motion for Squall to go on.

"It will be a shock for him. He needs something to keep him busy."

"Oh you mean like we should throw a huge festival to distract him and then run him ragged with headmaster work?" Selphie asked saddened by the whole topic but excited to have an excuse to throw a party and torture Seifer all the same.

"I don't think that was quite what Squall had in mind, sunshine." Irvine whispered into Selphie's hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Actually, I'm going to ask him to do a favour for me. I just wanted to make sure that you'll all see that he does it, and not get himself killed in the process. He's always been a bit reckless."

"Like you haven't?" At Zell's words a slight mischievous smile appears on Squall's lips no doubt thinking of all the escapades he had participated in. "Who's the one that jumped down several floors to save me in D-District prison. Or what about that time a certain person jumped into space to save Rin- Oh I'm sorry Squall... I didn't mean to say that." Zell looked completely flustered at his lapse in thought. He didn't want to add any more burdens to Squall right now. He looked as if the slightest wind would break him. He was trying to put up a good front but Zell had watched Squall too much in the past year. Zell knew he was in pain, a lot of it. He also knew that talking about Seifer wasn't helping any. Then he had to go and mention Rinoa.

Squall didn't seem too bothered about the Rinoa comment. The smile had faded to be replaced by neutrality but that was nothing new. Perhaps he had finally made peace with that demon or perhaps he was just too tired for it anymore. The others around the room looked much more disturbed at the mention of that memory but Zell had other things to worry about. "So what's this task your assigning us to, our mighty Commander?"

"My Guardians. I promised to set them free. They've done too much for me, they deserve to rest too." Squall more breathed the last part than spoke as he leaned back against his pillows and closed his eyes. Squall had always been a fighter, he hated to lose as much as Seifer did. There was little doubt in anyone minds that this was hard for Squall. He would never wish it on anyone else or even question 'why him'? He had accepted this fate as part of his duty, although very reluctantly and probably not without some tears escaping his icy shell. Although those would be private moments only, perhaps shared with his lover or perhaps to be seen only by a star filled night on a calming beach.

"We'll do all that we can, you know that." Quistis replied, brushing a few strands of hair out of Squall's eyes. "You are always so noble Squall, putting others before yourself, thinking of things that no one else would be bothered with," she sighed as thoughts turned to how much the world will lose when this hero is taken from it.

"You always did underestimate yourself Quisty." Squall whispered while pulling her hand into his lap. "You, and everyone else here have always assumed what I've felt and thought about. I took it for granted since you were close to being right. But I don't want to leave any doubt in your mind how I feel about you all."

Everyone in the room nodded knowing that the honour of seeing inside their friend's head was not given lightly. Whatever he said would be precious and from the heart, it would be a cherished memory forever.

Selphie looked up to Squall with a slight gleam of mischief in her eye and a smile soon followed. "Do me first Squall," she giggled as she moved up closer to Squall all grief forgotten about momentarily. "I always wondered what you thought about me."

She looked so sincerely happy at the thought of learning Squall's thought on her that Squall himself felt a smile tug at his lips in response. He could never believe that people would want to hear what he thought or felt, but if the bundle of joy, Selphie, wanted to know first he certainly wouldn't refuse.

"You have a quality in you that I envy Selphie, you make people happy, and you make them want to, no, that's not right, need to make you happy." Selphie smiled at this, hearing compliments from this man was rare, but well worth the wait. Squall gave a slight smile before continuing on.

"I still don't know why I showed you around the first day we met, or why I cared that you were upset in FH but I did. You're the reason I joined those damn festival committees and you know what? I actually had fun. You made me find the joy in things, even if I didn't want to." Selphie moved up to give Squall a gentle hug.

"Everybody needs a bit of sunshine, I'm glad I'm yours." Selphie whispered into his ear before moving back to her spot.

"Although it sort of scares me, I like your quirk about blowing things to smithereens!" Selphie laughed and the others laughed while Squall let out a breathy chuckle before coughing.

"Are you alright?" Zell asked handing Squall a glass of water. As he drank he sent Zell a look that asked if really needed to dignify that question with a response. Zell just took the shaking glass away from Squall and looked as though he wanted to take yet another comment back.

"Cowboy?" Squall asked Irvine seeing if he'd like to go next.

"Ladies first man, no need to forget manners" Squall nodded and Irvine let out a breath, he seemed nervous in knowing what Squall though of him, Irvine was sure that his would not be nearly as sweet as his angel's.

"Quistis, never underestimate yourself. You were my teacher and are now like a sister, you have taught me more than you know, more than you will ever know. I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for your guidance, and your ear. You were there when I needed you and may have saved me from myself. Thank you for earlier, but you are much more noble than I." Quistis palmed away a tear that was trying to form and hugged Squall murmuring sisterly affection to him.

Squall shifted on the bed to turn more to Zell who was beside him. "Zell," He stated, as he no doubt tried to find the right words for what Zell meant to him. "You are the most loyal bastard I know. I couldn't get rid of you if I beat you with the back end of Leonhart-"

"Didn't you try that once?" asked Selphie mentioning the D-District prison. Zell sent her a dirty look before turning back to Squall.

"You're a rare breed of friend Zell, you stood close by me in the worst of times and during the good you would try to keep it that way. You never gave up on me, Hyne, even when I ignored you and made fun of you, you were always there. Telling me your insights and random knowledge of things. My mind wouldn't be nearly as cluttered with weird facts if I didn't know you, and I'm rather fond of knowing more inane things about Esthar than my father."

Zell gripped Squall's hand and semi embraced him in a hug. For many years he was never sure if Squall liked his ideas and facts, but then Zell decided that if he didn't he would have told him to be quiet like he did to everyone else. Zell walked around with a smile for a week after he figured that out, but it was even nicer to hear it from the source. Zell also knew, like the rest of them that Squall was trying to keep the mood light by throwing in playful comments. Zell appreciated it, since it showed he cared about them even more than his words of thanks. If one of the gang suffered, they all did, and Squall never was one to make someone suffer, whether there was a cause to or not.

Irvine, who was still nervous about finding out how the normally stoic man felt about him, switched spots with Zell so that he sat beside Squall clutching his hand. Squall closed his eyes and took a minute to gather himself. The long day of good byes was catching up to him but he wouldn't give in to it, not yet. Squall let out a sigh that was half in pain half in determination and made eye contact with the sniper.

"Don't look so nervous Irvine, I thought you were the cool and collected one."

"Just part of the reputation." Irvine replied relaxing somewhat.

"Guns and Women, that's what you told me you were an expert in. I always believed you should add moody, taciturn leader onto the list. With your common sense, and normally level head you helped me to avoid several disasters."

"You helped me just as much, I'm sure." Irvine who had been worried about not hearing anything nice was now starting to get uncomfortable from the praise. Squall made no response to his interruption, showing in his silence that he believed it untrue.

"You also did something even more important for me. You helped me remember the orphanage and get back my other memories. You made sure I kept all of my thoughts and memories written down in a book, you gave me back my past. With out that I wouldn't have appreciated my future, or my friends. For that I am forever grateful."

Irvine looked close to tears as he helped his friend sit up so he could properly hug him. Squall's arms slowly went around Irvine to return the hug, if a bit more weakly due to his present state. It had been a while since Irvine last saw Squall in person and was amazed at how deep someone's appreciation and love could flow even with the corrosion of time.

Irvine could feel Squall's hold on him loosen further and gently laid the exhausted Squall back onto his pillows. Squall had a slight smile on his face knowing that his words had made that much of a difference to his friends. Outsiders may wonder why he didn't tell them all those simple words before. Well, for Squall, that's just not his way. He assumes people should know how he feels, and also feels that praise given too often can lose its meaning. His friends know and understand that, and Squall loves them all that much more for it. Never one for words, the task would normally be difficult, but today the words flowed easily.

Looking around the room Squall noticed that everybody seemed emotionally drained. He glanced at his clock and noticed it had been several hours. They had spent a long time talking about their days together during and after the war and other happier occasions. It was good to be with friends, but Squall was so tired and it was starting to hurt again.

The others seemed to have noticed, they themselves needed a break. They had been through the emotional wringer and they needed time to sort it all out. One by one they hugged Squall and kissed him goodnight. Just as Irvine reached the door Squall spoke in a soft whisper. The words seemed to drift over to them and worm their way straight to the heart.

"Before you leave, I just want to say that you all have my respect and my love, my life would not be the way it is without you…" He sighed as the gang registered the words, however something in the last part made them fight back guilt. "Thank you, for all the memories. The good and the bad… I cherish them all." With that, they wiped away their guilt and all moved back and gently hugged Squall once more before quickly and quietly leaving the room.

Squall breathed a sigh of relief and slowly leaned back into the pillows as tears sneaked out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He was in too much pain to bother with them, so they continued to fall slowly. He took in a few shaky breaths and tried to find comfort in sleep.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Seifer entered the room quietly and with caution. It seemed to him that if he were to make any sudden movements he might shatter this moment in time and his will. If that happened he would lose any chance he had of saying a proper goodbye. Seifer wasn't known for giving up, and he certainly wasn't known for his goodbyes. He didn't want to change that today but he was resigned to the fact that in a week's time this room, that was always so filled with love, would be nothing more than a barren space haunted by memories of better times. He walked quietly to the bed where his lover lay sleeping. Seifer would have been more than content to watch Squall like that, his chest moving up and down. It was proof that Squall was still alive, but the shuddering and laboured breaths were also proof to Seifer that Squall may not be that way for much longer.

Seifer eased himself onto the bed, the movements waking Squall from his light nap. "Hey there."

"Hello to you to my lion." Squall's lips pulled into a slight smile at the nickname. "How'd it go with the kiddies?" Seifer questioned as his hand gently ran through chestnut locks.

"I don't think you can call them kids anymore Seifer." Squall grabbed a hold of Seifer's hand and brought it to his lips and after a light kiss softly spoke. "I'll miss this."

"Squall, don't."

"I know Seifer, I know. But I need to know you understand." Squall's eyes cleared and shone intensely into Seifer's. Squall's eyes spoke of determination, he had saved his strength for this conversation. It would be hard but Squall would put aside the pain and the fatigue to do what must be done, what he wanted and needed to do. Emerald green reflected in blue highlighted with silver. Squall searched for understanding behind the eyes. It was there, but fear and denial stopped it from being accepted.

"Understand?" Seifer barely whispered through the emotion that constricted his voice. "How can I understand Squall? We wasted so many years at each other's throats. Finally, fate throws us a break." He pauses to adjust himself on the bed so he faces the weaker man and clasps both of his hands in his own. Biting back a bitter laugh the blond continues. "But, fate's a bitch and ends up just laughing at us, doesn't it? I want to scream to the world 'It's not fair!' and then to Hyne add 'hasn't he suffered enough for you?!' But I don't. You, like the man I've always respected, have remained strong and true to your beliefs. I won't degrade that by being selfish." He brings one slender hand up and kisses it before placing it gently in the owners lap and wiping a hand across his eyes. Wiping away the imaginary tears that had long since been shed.

"I won't degrade you either Sei. I can't imagine what sacrifices you must have made these past months to be with me..."

"Hush my lion," Seifer interrupted as he placed a finger gently on the pale lips. "Never, ever think of me spending time with you as a sacrifice. Hyne above, I know you're not dense enough to think I'd abandon you." His tone was confident but his eyes wavered enough to show that some fears remained.

"I know better than that. I couldn't get rid of you if I tried... but... I will." Squall brought a hand up to Seifer's face and then attempted to brush the one unruly lock back into place. They both smiled as it fell right back on to Seifer's forehead. Though a smile graced his face the look in Seifer's eyes said that he was planning on staying with his lover, come what may. However, Squall had been prepared for this. "I have a favour to ask."

"A favour?" a golden eyebrow arched as he adjusted the pillow behind Squall to make him more comfortable.

"More like one last order." A second eyebrow joined the first. "I want you to free my Guardians. They have asked not to serve another master. It would be too hard on them..." Squall paused to take a few breaths. His energy was failing him, he would have preferred a longer nap before facing his love, but he would then regret wasting time he could have spent in Seifer's arms. With that thought in mind he gently tugged on one of Seifer's arms and looked at the empty space beside him. Seifer gently shuffled into the new position wrapping one arm around Squall's waist. Squall moved closer to him and rested his head on Seifer's arm moving into a comfortable position but one where he could still look the man in the eye.

"Why not just set them free and let them find their own resting hole?" Seifer questioned brushing stray locks away from Squall's face.

"They deserve more than that." Seifer sighed in defeat, Squall was more considerate then he'd ever admit out loud and the blond knew that he would find no other with a heart like Squall's

"When do you want me to take them?" Squall bowed his head at the question, obviously avoiding the searching gaze of Seifer's eyes. "They're already unjunctioned aren't they?" Seifer used his hand to gently tilt Squall's face up and the brunette nodded. "Hyne Lion, Why?"

"I didn't want to risk their lives." The unspoken 'I die, they die' hung in the air as Seifer nodded his agreement with that but he knew there was more so he said nothing. "Besides, they don't stop the pain anymore... so I might as well save my memories." Squall shrugged as if him being in unbearable pain was nothing.

"But what abo-" Seifer cut himself off. There was no use lecturing Squall what was and wasn't good for him. Nobody had in a very long time, not since Squall earned their unwavering and unquestioning respect. Squall would not have taken the drugs to ease his pain anyway. The doses he was taking before the guardians offered to ease his pain had been extreme. They worked, but the had a horrible side effect of making him drowsy and incoherent. On what he was convinced was his last day he would not want to sacrifice the sharpness of his mind for a slight relief from the pain he was almost used to.

They drifted into a comfortable silence and after a moment Seifer turned to cup his lover's face in his palms and took deep breaths. Slowly a light built up around them as their minds joined momentarily for the transfer of guardians. Seifer could feel their resistance to leave him, in the end Squall coaxed them into going stating it was for the best. Seifer felt Bahamut, Shiva, Griever, the Brothers and Carbuncle settle into his mind. They weren't junctioned and never would be but they still whispered to his mind. Whispered their loss of Squall and love and pride they felt for him.

Squall sighed as the last of his guardians left him with reluctant mutterings. With them went the last of his reserved strength. He leaned heavily on Seifer as the hands were brought down from his face. Gradually the light faded leaving the room once again in the light of the setting sun. Once more they lapsed into a comfortable silence, one adjusting to the loss of guardians and the other to the final confirmation of inevitable loss. As sleep pulled in around them Seifer whispered into Squall's ear.

"I'll miss this too, ya know?" Squall opened his eyes to look into shimmering green. They finally glowed with a determination, one that spoke of eternal love and a life that wouldn't be defeated from heartbreak. Squall breathed a sigh of relief knowing that Seifer would be safe from himself for a little while. "But it won't be forever. I'll hunt you down again, you can't stay away from me for eternity..." Seifer's arm squeezed Squall gently to emphasize the point.

"I've come to realize that it's not such a bad thing." Squall breathed out as a small smile graced his lips.

"You know, I spent a lot of time thinking of what I was gonna say to you but now that I'm here with you, I've forgotten my whole speech."

"I never did like planned speeches...from the heart." One slender hand snaked up Seifer's chest making him shiver as it landed on his heart and gently grasped his shirt there.

"I know. It's just, my heart, stupid painful thing, won't let me say what my mind wants...I'll say this though. It hurts. It hurts so much to see you suffer like this... knowing- knowing nothing can help. I sometimes think it's better this way. Nobody should suffer like this. It's not right...." Seifer's voice trailed off, all the unspoken thoughts and feelings filling Squall as if they were shouted and not given by a fleeting look in emerald depths, or by the way a voice cracked or hand moved. Words didn't matter between them. They understood.

They understood that they should have died a noble death in the heat of battle, or better yet of old age, peacefully in sleep. This should never have happened. They understood that it did, and that everyday was torture to Squall. They understood that this was the only way to stop the pain. They understood. What they didn't understand was that sometimes, what the heart understands and what the mind understands are two different things.

Seifer was afraid that what his heart knew and what his mind knew were two different things. One was selfish and wanted things as they were no matter the cost, while the other knew this was for the best, no more suffering. He had been living a half and split life since he discovered the news of Squall's life expectancy. He wasn't sure if he would ever find that other half again, but for Squall he would try. The added voices whispering in his mind was also a welcomed encouragement. They whispered thoughts of love and strength and knew that this was the true reason Squall gave him this task. While the grief was at its strongest, Squall's GF's would be in his mind being his motivation, his will to live. They would stop him from doing anything harmful or rash and by the time the last one was set free the mourning period should be over... in theory anyway. Seifer pushed those thoughts aside and decided to live for what he had now, not grieve over what wasn't lost yet.

Seifer gently pulled Squall on top of him were the brunette immediately burrowed his face into Seifer's shoulder. The weight on Seifer's body was comforting to him, although, it probably would have been more so if it were heavier and warmer. The way his healthy Squall used to feel. Seifer wasn't going to complain. He was going to enjoy this last private moment of intimacy.

"Good Night my Lion," Seifer whispered then gently kissed Squall's hair. His hand returned to stroking the silky strands of Squall's hair and for a time they both drifted into sleep. Where they dreamed of nothing beyond this moment in time. Cherishing these stolen seconds as they always did. These were the times when all guards were gone and when the love that they could never and would never express in words made themselves so clear that all those who just glanced at the completeness of the couple would feel the love in the very core of their being.

~~~~~~

There we have it chapter two. One left and you know what that means. Sorry but no miracles are about to happen. I told Squall that if he didn't start to cooperate and behave himself during the board room meeting of The Seventh Month than I was going to kill him... did he listen... NOOO of course not! But did I get a good fic out of it? I like to think so... But is it screaming for a prequel so we can all find out where Rinoa is and what Squall is dying from... Of Course it is! (I actually gave more hints to Rinoa and such than I meant to in this chapter but I felt some mention of her should be made just so people don't think I forgot about her) Nothing can ever be simple...But I will do my best to ignore the dying Squall as he asks what happened in the past and instead concentrate on 7 mos. Please Review and Please do not encourage Squall and Seifer and their puppy dog eyes...

I hope that none of the conversations seemed too after school specialish or that they felt forced... Squall never says a lot but he is full of passion. I thought he would want his friends to know how much he cherished them while he still had the chance to tell them since he would no longer be able to express it in actions. The Seifer Squall interaction of this chapter was very difficult. They both wanted to say so much to each other, but that's just not them. I know they never said that they loved each other but they do. They've both lived a life where words have hurt and betrayed them. They don't put much stock in it. It's all about actions for them and I hope their love and respect for each other came across... I also hope the task Squall gave Seifer wasn't too stupid sounding. It's just that in most of the fanfics The GFs always have such devotion and loyalty to Squall... so I thought that he would most likely return it.

Oh and about the book I got this idea from, you can't really tell in this chapter since the book really inspired the first chapter and the last one, and the last one is heavily inspired by it. I'll tell you at the end of the last chapter what trilogy the idea camefrom.

BTW thanks to all those who reviewed the first chapter so far! and a special thanks to ZenCreation who is my beta for this chapter.
Hopemia: I barely had time to hit the submit button and your review was already there... That was fast work, I have no idea how you did it but it sure made me feel special. thanks! Also I'm really looking forward to see how you combine YnM and FF8 in that one fic of yours. I just discovered YnM a few months ago and now adore both genres and would love to see such a cross over.
Mistal: Another speedy reviewer...I'm glad you liked how I had the emotions all over the place. The emotions are a bit more set here but I hope you liked it anyway. Although I did feel as though I lost some of what I had in the first chapter... but the middle one is always the hardest right?
Kursed Seed: I should have killed Zell off (and I'm sure it would be fun too) but that just wouldn't have the same emotions to it... cause personally, I don't care that much about Zell. Besides it's a lot more satisfying to kill Squall off... evil bugger refuses to cooperate for one of my fics. My friend keeps trying to get me to read Terry Goodkind, maybe I should just break down and do it eh?
Redrum: I feel special! Two reviews for one story. I never know if it is better to review your stories on the ML or FF, so It's usually just where I see the story first. Although I should review on the ML just so it doesn't look as dead as it has been so far this month eh? what happened to everybody?
ZenCreation: I'm glad you took a chance on the fic and hoped this one was as good as the first chapter. and if you keep stroking my ego you might become my favourite reviewer. I also think you offer to beta for so many people just so you can get a sneak peek at the stories before the rest of us. Having a beta full time would mean having to break horrible habits of mine... but for one story I think I can handle it... So THANK YOU for reading over this chapter!
Starlit Hope: I didn't think the first chapter was that sad but I guess it was since everyone has said so. I'm not going to say what Squall has in this story... Why? Because it's not important to the story at all. Although If I get ambitious and do the prequel for it you will find out. I'll tell you this though, it's not anything our world has.
Myeerah: Thank you for your blunt honesty in my grammar and such... Yes, I know it needs help. I try to catch it when I read over it but I tend to miss a lot and comma's have always hated me. That is one of the reasons I took up Zen's offer to beta. Thank you also for your compliments on the balance of sadness. I hope I managed it as well in this chapter. Although I think that since I was directly dealing with Squall this time it had a bit more despair to it. But hopefully not too much.
BlessedSilence: Hi there, The first chapter wasn't supposed to be too sad just enough to make you go, oh no this is a bit depressing. I'll give you a hint with the book it is the second book of a trilogy that takes place in Ireland and Britain.


Well on to the next and final chapter of this story...