My heart thudded. Oh no.

"What is it?" Severus asked.

I heard the door of our dormitory slam.

"Oh, I thought I heard something," I replied.

"What was it?"

"Sorry, Severus, but I have to go." I untangled myself from his arms and got up.

"Sorry for keeping you up late."

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I interrupted your experiment."

"It was a nice surprise for you to be there."

This conversation was so awkward. "Bye," I called miserably and walked up the stairs.

Up the stairs to doom.

Oh no, what would Dahlia say? I cringed with every step.

When I opened the door to the dormitory, I expected Dahlia to leap out and exclaim "Lily! It was Snape? What were you thinking?"

However, I was met by silence.

Her curtains were drawn shut. I sighed and climbed back in bed. This time I was able to fall asleep immediately.

A few hours later I woke up suddenly. The sun hadn't come out yet, only a faint gray light shone into the room from the window.

I got up.

"Lily?"

"You scared me!" I exclaimed. Dahlia sat on her bed. Her diary was in her hand and I guessed she had been doing her usual scribbling like mad, before I got up. She stood up and shoved the diary under her pillow.

"Let's talk," she said and pulled me downstairs.

We sat on the same sofa Severus and I had been sitting on a few hours ago.

"Lily," Dahlia said and stared at me, "what on earth?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were with Severus Snape? You were making out with Severus Snape!"

I cringed. "So?" I asked.

She glared. "That's disgusting, you know! He doesn't even wash his hair."

"Yes he does," I shot back. "He's started washing it ever since our first date."

"Date?" she asked. "So that's why you were out so late. That's disgusting. Why are you wasting your time on him? Lily -- of all the people - why, you could pick anyone and you chose him!"

"For your information, he was the one who asked me out," I replied coldly.

"Well, obviously," Dahlia sighed. "I know you have more sense than to have asked him out. But why'd you say yes?"

"He's not that bad," I said softly. "He's so smart and he's nice too."

She stared at me. I couldn't help it - I started crying.

"Dahlia, why do you have to be so mean?" I sniffled, knowing I sounded like an eight-year-old.

"Oh, don't cry!" She moved over and gave me a hug.

I sniffled. "I'm sorry that you don't think he's good for me, but - oh, Dahlia - I think I'm falling in love with him." I started sobbing.

"You think you are?" she asked.

"No," I answered through tears. "I know I am. I can't help it; I've already fallen for him."

"I don't mean to be mean, Lily - but I just don't get-how..."

"I don't know. He's so sweet to me."

Dahlia stood up. "Lily, I don't know what to say. The only advice I can give you is you'd better fall out of love with him - quickly."

I buried my face in the sofa.

"Lily, stop it."

I looked up.

"Stop crying like that."

"You made me cry," I muttered defensively.

"No," she replied clearly. "I did not. I just told you the truth about your beloved boyfriend."

I stopped sniffling and glared at her.

"Lily, I don't know what's happened to you lately."

"Me? You're the one who's been going around insulting everyone in the school."

"Insulting? Stating unpleasant truths is not insulting!" she shouted.

I stood up on the sofa. "Dahlia, I don't care what you say. The only thing you've ever appreciated is looks."

"I think you need to take a page from my book, then."

"No, I don't. I think you need to stop acting so shallow!"

"What did you call me?" Her voice trembled dangerously. She balled her hands into fists and glared at me.

"You're such a hypocrite," I scorned. "You always criticize everyone else, but you don't even recognize your own faults!"

"I can recognize one - I chose you as a friend!" She picked up a pillow that was resting on an armchair and threw it at me.

I jumped out of the way and screamed at her retreating back, "I hope Sirius Black spits on you!"

* * *

As the Slytherins left for breakfast the next morning, I grabbed Severus's arm and pulled him aside. "I need to talk to you," I said.

"Can't we talk at breakfast?" he asked.

"No, I need to talk to you privately."

Finally everyone left and we sat down. "What is it?" he asked, obviously irritated that he couldn't eat breakfast.

"Breakfast can wait, can't it? Listen to me."

"I am listening..."

"Severus, there's something that's been weighing on my mind."

"What is it?"

"It's a memory. I just recalled it in a dream. Remember when we were in our fifth year?"

"Yes?" Was it just me or had his face suddenly gotten darker?

"It was while we took our O.W.L.s."

His face was definitely darker.

"Lily, I don't want to talk about it--"

"No, Severus, wait! I just want to know why you called me a 'filthy little Mudblood' after I saved you."

"Lily," he said. His face contorted into a horrible expression. "I don't want to think about those times. Don't ever remind me of them again."

I shivered. His tone of voice and expression ran chills down my spine.

"All right," I said. "I won't. But I have to ask you one thing..."

He glared at me, his eyes steely. "What?" he snapped.

"Do... do you still ... think that?" I asked quietly.

"Lily, don't be an idiot. Of course I don't hate Muggle-borns. Don't you remember the time last year with Lucius Malfoy? I stood up for you."

"Yes, but how could you change so suddenly, in just a year, from calling me a Mudblood to defending me when someone else called me one?"

"Lily, didn't we say we wouldn't bring this up?"

"But--"

"Let's just say I had a change of heart." He got up and made to leave the common room.

I ran after him and grabbed his sleeve. "Do - do you still love me?" I asked nervously.

He turned and looked me, his eyes cold and black. I felt like I was shriveling up. I lowered my gaze and stepped back. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't know you don't - you don't--"

"Lily!" he exclaimed loudly. "If you mean I don't love you anymore, it's a lie! I love you as much as ever; just don't remind me of those terrible times."

I gave him a faint smile, but I couldn't clear up his tormented expression. "I didn't mean to remind you of then," I said quietly. Then I touched his cheek. He turned to face me. "I just want to tell you," I began. My heart pounded. "I want to tell you--" Then it came out in a rush. "I love you too," I murmured and turned away, my cheeks hot.

His hand gently glided my face back to look into his. His black eyes were now as soft as night. "Thank you, Lily," he whispered softly and he stepped out of the common room.

* * *

Dahlia avoided me all day. It was hard to do that, since she and I shared almost all of our classes. Whenever I glanced her way, she would look away. By then I had already forgotten our fight. Every time she did this a pang of hurt stabbed my heart. Eventually I just kept my eyes lowered, staring at my desk. Not only could I not see her, but no one else could see the pool of tears welling up in my eyes.

She must have told the other Slytherin girls because they all walked past me like I wasn't there, their eyes skipping over me as if I didn't exist.

I walked down the hall, feeling more alone and deserted than I ever had in my life, even more than when I first arrived at Hogwarts. Dahlia had immediately made friends with me then, even though I was Muggle-born and she was a pureblood. I stared at my feet as I walked, keeping my eyes to the ground because I knew that seeing another person step out of her way to avoid me would break the dam of tears.

Wham. I had walked smack into someone. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" I cried and bent over to pick up all the papers and books that had flown out of my arms.

"It's all right," the person said and knelt down to pick them up for me. He looked up. It was James Potter. Oh no, I thought. Don't you dare ask me out again! Instead, he handed me my books in a neat little stack, the papers piled up on top.

"Oh," I exclaimed. "Thank you."

He smiled at me and ruffled his hair with his hand. I closed my eyes to roll them without him seeing.

"Need a hand?" he asked, standing up and sticking out his hand to pull me up.

He doesn't think I can stand up alone, does he? I muttered in my mind. But I grabbed his hand anyway and he pulled me up.

"Remember to watch where you're going," he told me. "Not everyone you bump into is as nice as me." He winked.

I groaned and turned away. At least he didn't ask me out, I thought. I had thought too soon because over the crowd I heard him yell -

"Hey, Evans! Go out with me?"

I groaned again and quickened my pace in the opposite direction.

* * *

Severus found me before dinner. "I saved you a seat," he said.

"Thanks," I said, relieved to finally see a friendly face that was not James Potter's conceited one.

"How are you?" he asked as we walked into the Great Hall. "You look different today. I hope you're not tired from last night."

I thought to myself how that would sound if an eavesdropper didn't know about the late night potion-making.

"No, it's not that," I sighed and sat down where Severus had pulled out a chair for me. "It's just that my best friend now hates me and has convinced all the Slytherin girls in our year to hate me too."

"Oh, Lily. That's terrible."

I let out a shuddery breath. "I have no friends," I said and fought to swallow the lump that was swelling in my throat.

"That's not true," Severus whispered softly. "I'm your friend. Being your boyfriend doesn't stop me from being your friend."

It sounded cheesy and I wanted a best friend to whom I could spill all my worries and just cry, not a boyfriend who was most of the worries himself, but I still managed to smile.

"Thanks," I said. It did help. The blanket of wretchedness and rejection still clung to me, but I no longer felt about to cry.