Sophie the devil: *say nothing* WHAT?! I couldn't think of anything to say!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything for that matter!

Sophie the devil: screw you disclaimer!

Disclaimer: f*** u

Sophie the devil: *kills disclaimer and then resurrects he...she...shim* so yeah screw yall!

Disclaimer: I think you need your medication!

Sophie the devil: I think YOU should eat Hermione!

Disclaimer: Sophie the devil! There are children here! Besides, I am way, way, WAY ahead of you!

Sophie the devil: What's THAT supposed to mean!

Disclaimer: Lets just say three words: brooms closet, broom STICKS and broom polish!!!

Sophie the devil: I DON'T WANNA KNOW! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That is wrong on SO MANY LEVELS!

Disclaimer: WHAT?! All I meant was, we were cleaning broomsticks in the broom closet!

Sophie the devil: right

Disclaimer: Don't you think you ought to start the story now?

Sophie the devil: HEY! I start the story when I want OK!

Disclaimer: *mutters under breath* bitch!

Sophie the devil: I heard that!

Disclaimer: HELP!

Sophie the devil: *tortures disclaimer as she laughs insanely*

Sophie the devil (the new disclaimer) : I OWN SURVIVOR AND HARRY POTTER!!! And I am NOT taking that back! What are you going to do? Call the police losers!?

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Chapter 2: Flight to Afganistan

Harry and all of the others met up at the airport to head off for Afghanistan. Some, like Neville, were looking as though there were mad people on the flight. Others, like Draco, looked as they always did...as if they had a stick up their ass!

'Flight 1572839353724568 for Afghanistan will be leaving in 2 minutes...final call for flight 1572839353724568' They got inside and ran to the front desk, just as this was being said.

Once they had all gotten on to the plane they immediately started talking supplies.

"Well it said in the letter not to bring more then 2 items per person so lets start with who's bringing what," Hermione jumped in, instantly acting the leader.

"I am bringing, my fire bolt and my wan..." Harry began.

"No magic allowed, remember!" Once again said by Hermione.

"NO MAGIC!" Everyone except Hermione screamed in unison.

"Yes, if we want to do this properly then we can't cheat," Said Hermione defiantly.

"Well then, I'd bring my um...totally UNMAGICAL broom and my sneak-o-scope,' Harry finished.

"But what about your medication, Harry?" Ron asked nervously.

"Oh, stuff it!" Harry, who couldn't care less, was stroking his broom affectionately.

"Well, I'll bring, my shoes, and er...I don't own anything!" Ron burst into tears.

"I am going to bring Hogwarts a history and sun screen," Hermione said, completely ignoring the fact Ron was having a nervous breakdown.

"I'll bring some...alcohol! And some cigarettes!" Said by who else, but Seamus.

"I think I'll bring a first aid kit, and my anti-depressants," Neville said miserably.

"I vill bring: manicular kit and botox," Fleur said flirtatiously.

They all sat some arguing, some discussing, or just cussing, on what they are taking and why they are taking it.

"Your all retards!" Said the cold voice of Draco Malfoy.

"What are you taking Malfoy? A...a...a retard machine!" Said Harry. Nobody laughed not even Harry.

"Actually, I am taking my hair-care set and a machete," Malfoy suddenly turned muscly and his hair fell down.

"OH MY GOD HE'S BEAUTIFUL!" Exclaimed Seamus.

"Thank you, Seamus, if only I could say the same for you," Malfoy sneered, "I have become an alpha-male!"

Nobody understood, except Hermione. "I get it! In Survivor there is always one handsome and muscular alpha-male! Malfoy must be it!"

"CRAP! I am ugly!!!" Harry was getting psycho.

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This isn't the end, but I am just getting really spaced out now. I drank heaps of coffee and now I am starting to write really screwed-up, random things...SO BARE WITH ME ASS-HORSE!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They were almost there. There was no need to separate into their teams, as they were already in them.

"Seamus...exactly how much booze did you bring?" Asked Ron exuberantly.

"Enough to last us the entire Survivor game, except, we can't give anyone but me, you, Harry, Neville and maybe Malfoy. I tried to bring drugs, but they tried to arrest me at the airport! Talk about tight-asses!" Seamus finished.

"What?! You mean no drugs!" Harry looked scandalised.

"Well, there's always my anti-depressants!" Neville said cheerfully.

"Do they make you hallucinate?" Asked Harry hopefully.

"If you take them with alcohol and sea-water" Neville looked happy. "And speaking of that, there is: panadol, pain killers, aspirin, skin pills, diet pills, diarrhoea pills, flu tablets and some sleeping pills in the first aid kit. I know it's not much, but we can always mix them to make something!"

"We're here!" Hermione said cheerfully.

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Now it really is the end!...............or is it?! No it is the end.

REALLY!

Sophie the devil: Mixing pills eh!

Ron: I want to try aspirin and diet pills!

Sophie the devil: I can speak Italian! Want to here it?

Ron: Hell no.

Sophie the devil: Ok! Questo ´é Ron, lui é brutto e gay, ho I cappelli, rosso e gli occhi blu. Ron é stupido e un cavallo ass. Lui affaré funghi droga.

Disclaimer: I am back! *strangles Sophie the devil from behind*

Sophie the devil: DIE DISCLAIMER!!! *eats disclaimer* If you can tell me what I said in Italian, in a review, then I will put you in my next chapter! Ciao.