Sophie the devil: And now for the long-awaited chapter: I have decided to
change the writing style so it is written differently. I was just so sick
of the other way I normally write!
Another important thing is, this is sort of the sequel to the unfinished
'Gay Adventure' story. It isn't exactly, but there is some material that
relates to my first.
^..^
/\/\/\/\---------- (that's my symbol = sophiethedevil)
Nobody got what I said in Italian! Some were close, but the answer was:
This is Ron, he is ugly and gay, he has red hair and blue eyes. Ron is stupid and a horse-arse! He deals Mushroom drugs. (magic mushrooms) Aren't I good at Italian!?!
Hint: Say everything Osama says out loud and say each syllable out as you say it! (he won't always be saying what it is translated into!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 3: The Teams
They were all sitting patiently at tribal council, awaiting Sophie the devil's arrival. Some, like Harry, Hermione and Ron, were talking about the events of their past week, the others were fidgeting and chatting amongst themselves; with the exception of Hannibal, who was discreetly nibbling Ron's ear.
Sophie the devil: Welcome all to Survivor Afghanistan! I hope you enjoyed your flight! *says warmly, but then whispers* for it shall be your last! Now, I shall sought your tribes and tell you a bit more about the game. Each tribe has a different landscape, each with there upsides and downsides. Here with me is a bowl full of stones. One is red, one is blue and one is yellow. You will select one representative from each tribe to pick a stone. The team that gets blue, is on the beach. Lovely, safe environment, with lots of greenery, but unfortunately has no shelter what- so-ever, and you can't build one because it is against the law to cut down trees! The team that gets red, is in the mountains, not alot of food, but heaps of shelter. And the team that gets the unlucky yellow stone, is in the desert, no food, shelter or safety. I'll give you 5 minutes to pick your representatives.
*~*~*~*~*~*~* 5 minutes later *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sophie the devil: Does everyone have their representatives?
All: Yes.
Sophie the devil: KO then, first up...Ravenclaw's representative!
Cedric Diggery: *reaches in and picks...the blue stone!*
All: *polite round of appause*
Osama: (who is in Ravenclaw) *Starts swearing in Arabic* EYE ZIS WAN TA FA'K EEN KEY ILLS DOSE MATH ARE THA FA KERS!
Sophie the devil: Oh! I almost forgot! Hear is a special Arabic translator, which I give to Cedric, so you know what Osama is saying.
Cedric: Cool! He seems to be saying something about 'kill them mo... Oh my!
Hermione: What's wrong?
Cedric: He is saying some of the most revolting swearword ever!
All: *GASP!* (except for Sophie the devil who is now trying to compete with Osama in a swearing competition
Cedric: Now he's saying; 'I wanted the mountains! You little....' I swear that guy can swear!
Sophie the devil: Now the next representative!...Slytherin!
Hannibal: *steps up, picks the stone and eats it*.
Sophie the devil: Hannibal, what was that stone you pulled?
Hannibal: *is drooling*
Sophie the devil: OK! So, this is what we're going to do! Ron, as your the representative from Gryffindor, you can come up and pick. Do you want the yellow stone, or the red stone?
Ron: Before, when you were explaining the rules, I wasn't listening to a word you were saying!
Sophie the devil: Well, you just going to have to pick! Yellow, or red?
Ron: Duhhhh....yellow.
All of Gryfindor team: *groans and starts to swear and yell at Ron*.
Sophie the devil: That means Gryffindor gets the desert, and Slytherin gets the mountains! Now, as a policy of the company, we have to give you a well, full of water and some sort of source of food. So I decided that you all get...a free pet monkey!
Harry: WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO?! *Harry said, as he forgot to take his anger management classes*
Sophie the devil: All sorts of things! *looking offended* It is trainable, *false cough* and when you are desperate...you can eat it! Thoughitishighlypoisonous *said in a very fast whisper*
Hermione: Hang on! What do you mean the beach?! Afganistan isn't even on the coast!
Sophie the devil: It isn't?
Hermione: *is standing there shocked* NO! Pakistan is blocking Afganhistan from the coast!
Sophie the devil: Then, by the power of Lucifer! DESTROY PAKISTAN! (no offence to Pakistanis! I am not racist! But I forgot that Pakistan was blocking the coast from Afghanistan, so I had to think of a way to alter that!...Hey! It's not my fault I don't pay attention in Geography!)
Ron: Did you just destroy...a country?! *looks pale*
All: *ignores Ron*
Sophie the devil: Now that that's settled...LET SURVIVOR BEGIN!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 1.
(Gryffindor tribe)
Hermione: So troopers! We better set up camp! *says with a very forced gaiety*
All (except Hermione) : *groan*
Fleur: Well, I am not doing any work! Bring me a fan and fan me! *while doing nails*
Hermione: With that attitude you'll be voted out!
Fleur: You wouldn't wote me out? Would you Harry? *gives him her sexiest smile*
Harry: No...my...love *said in a robotic trance*
Hermione: *glares at Harry*
Ron: Has anyone seen my shoe? * Is in despair*
All: *completly ignores Ron*
Seamus: Lets start a fire! *says enthusiastically*
Hermione: *beams at Seamus* Well I'm glad someone is showing enthusiasm *glares at Harry and others*
Seamus: Yep! The quicker we start a fire, the quicker we can dry some of this plant I found!
Hermione: *on the verge of tears* I thought you would understand Seamus!
All: *couldn't give a f--- how Hermione was feeling*
Neville: There aren't any sticks of matches to rub. But I heard somewhere that magnifying glasses work.
Seamus: But where can we get a magnifying glass?
All: *looks at Harry and grins evily*
Harry: no...NO! STAY BACK!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At the Slytherin camp
Hannibal: *is chewing something that looks horribly like flesh*
Blaise: Well, we better introduce our selves to Hannibal and Arabella. *said surprisingly nicely*
All: mmmm...
Blaise: Well I am Blaise *points to himself* That is Pansy *points to Pansy* that is Draco *points to Draco* That is Hannibal *points to Hannibal* And that is Arabella *you know who he points to!*
Arabella, who this whole time has been wearing a hood looks up at the others and removes her hood, to reveal; long, raven hair in loose ringlets, wearing a soft smile, pale skin, rosy cheeks, blood-red lips, turquoise eye- shadow, thick, black eyeliner and a heart-shaped face. Arabella was wearing; a long silky, black trenchcoat, decorated with rubies and garnets. A golden chain around her neck with a diamond glistening from it and a silky, black, light-weight dress underneath.
Draco: *instantly starts to flirt with Arabella*
Arabella: I fortell a grave danger inside you! *moves hands over crystal ball*
Pansy: Are you pychic or something?
Arabella: Yes...I have...THE THIRD EYE!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Ravenclaw tribe)
Cho: *Immediatly starts to kiss Cedric*
Cedric: Oh Cho!
Roger: *Is jealous*
Osama: fa uuc alla uus moe tho f'k ares!
Cedric: He is saying; screw yous dogs! I is gonna surf the waves!
Cho: right!
Roger: Hey guys tree mail! I'll read it to you:
Come to the coast, for a challenge that's a bother,
You basically stand there and wrestle at each other,
The big against the small,
The fat against the tall,
So it's a challenge that's unfair right,
So deal with it! Or you'll go home tonight!
Cedric: They've really lost their gusto, haven't they?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*`*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Immunity/ reward challenge)
Sophie the devil: So you've lasted 2 hours...how has it been, Harry?
Harry: Nothing has really happened!
Sophie the devil: WOW! That's really amazing! Well lets get to it! What you basically do is pull a number out of this here hat, the number you pick, is your number. If anyone else has that number, then that's who you wrestle! Understand?
All: no.
Sophie the devil: *Ignores them*...well, pull out your numbers!
*~*~*~*~*~* A few moments later *~*~*~*~*~*~
Sophie the devil: The first match is between...Neville and Pansy! But before we begin...NO KILLING! *looks at Osama and Hannibal and for some unresolved reason, Fleur*.
Fleur: *is looking innocent*
Sophie the devil: Let the challenge...BEGIN!
Pansy punches Neville before the challenge even begun, Neville is out cold.
Sophie the devil: PANSY IS THE WINNER! Next one, Fleur vs Cho!
Seamus: YEAH! Chick wrestling!
Fleur bites, scratches and bitch slaps Cho, until Cho dies.
Sophie the devil: *resurects Cho* Fleur is the winner! *said while giving Fleur a; what-did-I-just-tell-you-about-killing? look.*
The matches went on for a long time. Until Fleur, Osama, Hannibal and Hermione (for some weird reason, because Hermione hadn't versed anyone!) were the finalists.
Sophie the devil: This first final match...Is FLEUR VS HANNIBAL!
Fleur: *runs away*
Sophie the devil: I declare Hannibal...the winner! Next...OSAMA VS HERMIONE!
Hermione: Violence is wrong! I refuse to hurt him! What has he ever done to me?! I bet Osama feels the sae way!
Osama: stoo pide bit o cha! Eyes keele he er! *Said while loading a bazooka and pointing it at Hermione.
Sophie the devil: How about this, all you have to say is; 'I want to hurt you Osama'. And Gryffindor will win and gain immuntiy!
Draco: THAT IS SO UNFAIR AND STUPID!
Sophie the devil: *strangles Draco*
Hermione: I will not say it! I don't believe in violence! Let us lose! Gryffindor will forgive me!
Sophie the devil: Fine then! I declare Slytherin the winner, Ravenclaw in second...and Gryffindor last meaning that Gryffindor is going to tribal council...See you tonight!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Tribal Council)
Sophie the devil: Hermione, because you gave up the challenge, do you feel threatened?
Hermione: Of course not! I know that my tribe will stand by me no matter what!
Sophie the devil: What do you think of this?...Neville?
Neville: *jumps in fright* Well...er...no...er...er....I...now n...no offence...Her...Hermione, but I was quite...um...an...an...annoyed! *stutters uncontrollably*
Sophie the devil: Whatever! So you've been out here a day, how has it been? Harry?
Harry: What? *Is picking nose*
Sophie the devil: I give up! Go vote!
10 minutes later...
Sophie the devil: I'll go tally the votes.
Ron: I wonder who it is?
Seamus: Probably you. *snide comment*
Ron: Or Hermione.
Harry: All I know is, there are two heads on the chopping block tonight!
Sophie the devil: Ok, first vote is Hermione!
Hermione: *glare at Ron*
Sophie the devil: Second vote...for Ron! One vote Hermione, one vote Ron.
Ron: *is looking shocked*
Sophie the devil: Third vote...Harry! Fourth vote...Neville!One vote to everyone, except Seamus and Fleur! Fifth vote...Hermione!
All: *GASP*
Sophie the devil: The first person voted out of Survivor Afganistan is...HERMIONE!
Hermione: *is crying and looking shocked and angry*
Sophie the devil: Hermione...time for your goodbye speech *acknowledges for Hermione to stand on stage thingy*
Hermione: I HATE YOU ALL! YOU BASTARDS!
Sophie the devil: That was very touching...Hermione, the tribe has spoken! *puts out torch*. But the game wouldn't be fun if I didn't show you the tapes of what they said!...
Harry: eh oh!
Harry's tape: Hermione, your a tightass bum and I don't like you! My vote is for you...Hermione!
Ron's Tape: Harry, you need anger management you fag! My votes for Harry!
Seamus's tape: How dare you critisise my drugginess, BITCH!
Hermione: Wait a minute! We don't know who Seamus voted for! He wrote down 'bitch' on a piece of paper!
Sophie the devil: Yeah, I figured that meant you!
Hermione's tape: I thought you'd support me Neville! My vote is for you!
Fleur's tape: No, Ron...I von't go out vis oo! My vote eez for Ronald!
Neville's tape: * gives camera the finger* Stuff you Hermione!
Sophie the devil: Wasn't that interesting?!
All: *are glaring at each other*
^..^
/\/\/\/\---------- (that's my symbol = sophiethedevil)
Nobody got what I said in Italian! Some were close, but the answer was:
This is Ron, he is ugly and gay, he has red hair and blue eyes. Ron is stupid and a horse-arse! He deals Mushroom drugs. (magic mushrooms) Aren't I good at Italian!?!
Hint: Say everything Osama says out loud and say each syllable out as you say it! (he won't always be saying what it is translated into!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 3: The Teams
They were all sitting patiently at tribal council, awaiting Sophie the devil's arrival. Some, like Harry, Hermione and Ron, were talking about the events of their past week, the others were fidgeting and chatting amongst themselves; with the exception of Hannibal, who was discreetly nibbling Ron's ear.
Sophie the devil: Welcome all to Survivor Afghanistan! I hope you enjoyed your flight! *says warmly, but then whispers* for it shall be your last! Now, I shall sought your tribes and tell you a bit more about the game. Each tribe has a different landscape, each with there upsides and downsides. Here with me is a bowl full of stones. One is red, one is blue and one is yellow. You will select one representative from each tribe to pick a stone. The team that gets blue, is on the beach. Lovely, safe environment, with lots of greenery, but unfortunately has no shelter what- so-ever, and you can't build one because it is against the law to cut down trees! The team that gets red, is in the mountains, not alot of food, but heaps of shelter. And the team that gets the unlucky yellow stone, is in the desert, no food, shelter or safety. I'll give you 5 minutes to pick your representatives.
*~*~*~*~*~*~* 5 minutes later *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sophie the devil: Does everyone have their representatives?
All: Yes.
Sophie the devil: KO then, first up...Ravenclaw's representative!
Cedric Diggery: *reaches in and picks...the blue stone!*
All: *polite round of appause*
Osama: (who is in Ravenclaw) *Starts swearing in Arabic* EYE ZIS WAN TA FA'K EEN KEY ILLS DOSE MATH ARE THA FA KERS!
Sophie the devil: Oh! I almost forgot! Hear is a special Arabic translator, which I give to Cedric, so you know what Osama is saying.
Cedric: Cool! He seems to be saying something about 'kill them mo... Oh my!
Hermione: What's wrong?
Cedric: He is saying some of the most revolting swearword ever!
All: *GASP!* (except for Sophie the devil who is now trying to compete with Osama in a swearing competition
Cedric: Now he's saying; 'I wanted the mountains! You little....' I swear that guy can swear!
Sophie the devil: Now the next representative!...Slytherin!
Hannibal: *steps up, picks the stone and eats it*.
Sophie the devil: Hannibal, what was that stone you pulled?
Hannibal: *is drooling*
Sophie the devil: OK! So, this is what we're going to do! Ron, as your the representative from Gryffindor, you can come up and pick. Do you want the yellow stone, or the red stone?
Ron: Before, when you were explaining the rules, I wasn't listening to a word you were saying!
Sophie the devil: Well, you just going to have to pick! Yellow, or red?
Ron: Duhhhh....yellow.
All of Gryfindor team: *groans and starts to swear and yell at Ron*.
Sophie the devil: That means Gryffindor gets the desert, and Slytherin gets the mountains! Now, as a policy of the company, we have to give you a well, full of water and some sort of source of food. So I decided that you all get...a free pet monkey!
Harry: WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO?! *Harry said, as he forgot to take his anger management classes*
Sophie the devil: All sorts of things! *looking offended* It is trainable, *false cough* and when you are desperate...you can eat it! Thoughitishighlypoisonous *said in a very fast whisper*
Hermione: Hang on! What do you mean the beach?! Afganistan isn't even on the coast!
Sophie the devil: It isn't?
Hermione: *is standing there shocked* NO! Pakistan is blocking Afganhistan from the coast!
Sophie the devil: Then, by the power of Lucifer! DESTROY PAKISTAN! (no offence to Pakistanis! I am not racist! But I forgot that Pakistan was blocking the coast from Afghanistan, so I had to think of a way to alter that!...Hey! It's not my fault I don't pay attention in Geography!)
Ron: Did you just destroy...a country?! *looks pale*
All: *ignores Ron*
Sophie the devil: Now that that's settled...LET SURVIVOR BEGIN!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Day 1.
(Gryffindor tribe)
Hermione: So troopers! We better set up camp! *says with a very forced gaiety*
All (except Hermione) : *groan*
Fleur: Well, I am not doing any work! Bring me a fan and fan me! *while doing nails*
Hermione: With that attitude you'll be voted out!
Fleur: You wouldn't wote me out? Would you Harry? *gives him her sexiest smile*
Harry: No...my...love *said in a robotic trance*
Hermione: *glares at Harry*
Ron: Has anyone seen my shoe? * Is in despair*
All: *completly ignores Ron*
Seamus: Lets start a fire! *says enthusiastically*
Hermione: *beams at Seamus* Well I'm glad someone is showing enthusiasm *glares at Harry and others*
Seamus: Yep! The quicker we start a fire, the quicker we can dry some of this plant I found!
Hermione: *on the verge of tears* I thought you would understand Seamus!
All: *couldn't give a f--- how Hermione was feeling*
Neville: There aren't any sticks of matches to rub. But I heard somewhere that magnifying glasses work.
Seamus: But where can we get a magnifying glass?
All: *looks at Harry and grins evily*
Harry: no...NO! STAY BACK!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At the Slytherin camp
Hannibal: *is chewing something that looks horribly like flesh*
Blaise: Well, we better introduce our selves to Hannibal and Arabella. *said surprisingly nicely*
All: mmmm...
Blaise: Well I am Blaise *points to himself* That is Pansy *points to Pansy* that is Draco *points to Draco* That is Hannibal *points to Hannibal* And that is Arabella *you know who he points to!*
Arabella, who this whole time has been wearing a hood looks up at the others and removes her hood, to reveal; long, raven hair in loose ringlets, wearing a soft smile, pale skin, rosy cheeks, blood-red lips, turquoise eye- shadow, thick, black eyeliner and a heart-shaped face. Arabella was wearing; a long silky, black trenchcoat, decorated with rubies and garnets. A golden chain around her neck with a diamond glistening from it and a silky, black, light-weight dress underneath.
Draco: *instantly starts to flirt with Arabella*
Arabella: I fortell a grave danger inside you! *moves hands over crystal ball*
Pansy: Are you pychic or something?
Arabella: Yes...I have...THE THIRD EYE!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Ravenclaw tribe)
Cho: *Immediatly starts to kiss Cedric*
Cedric: Oh Cho!
Roger: *Is jealous*
Osama: fa uuc alla uus moe tho f'k ares!
Cedric: He is saying; screw yous dogs! I is gonna surf the waves!
Cho: right!
Roger: Hey guys tree mail! I'll read it to you:
Come to the coast, for a challenge that's a bother,
You basically stand there and wrestle at each other,
The big against the small,
The fat against the tall,
So it's a challenge that's unfair right,
So deal with it! Or you'll go home tonight!
Cedric: They've really lost their gusto, haven't they?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*`*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(Immunity/ reward challenge)
Sophie the devil: So you've lasted 2 hours...how has it been, Harry?
Harry: Nothing has really happened!
Sophie the devil: WOW! That's really amazing! Well lets get to it! What you basically do is pull a number out of this here hat, the number you pick, is your number. If anyone else has that number, then that's who you wrestle! Understand?
All: no.
Sophie the devil: *Ignores them*...well, pull out your numbers!
*~*~*~*~*~* A few moments later *~*~*~*~*~*~
Sophie the devil: The first match is between...Neville and Pansy! But before we begin...NO KILLING! *looks at Osama and Hannibal and for some unresolved reason, Fleur*.
Fleur: *is looking innocent*
Sophie the devil: Let the challenge...BEGIN!
Pansy punches Neville before the challenge even begun, Neville is out cold.
Sophie the devil: PANSY IS THE WINNER! Next one, Fleur vs Cho!
Seamus: YEAH! Chick wrestling!
Fleur bites, scratches and bitch slaps Cho, until Cho dies.
Sophie the devil: *resurects Cho* Fleur is the winner! *said while giving Fleur a; what-did-I-just-tell-you-about-killing? look.*
The matches went on for a long time. Until Fleur, Osama, Hannibal and Hermione (for some weird reason, because Hermione hadn't versed anyone!) were the finalists.
Sophie the devil: This first final match...Is FLEUR VS HANNIBAL!
Fleur: *runs away*
Sophie the devil: I declare Hannibal...the winner! Next...OSAMA VS HERMIONE!
Hermione: Violence is wrong! I refuse to hurt him! What has he ever done to me?! I bet Osama feels the sae way!
Osama: stoo pide bit o cha! Eyes keele he er! *Said while loading a bazooka and pointing it at Hermione.
Sophie the devil: How about this, all you have to say is; 'I want to hurt you Osama'. And Gryffindor will win and gain immuntiy!
Draco: THAT IS SO UNFAIR AND STUPID!
Sophie the devil: *strangles Draco*
Hermione: I will not say it! I don't believe in violence! Let us lose! Gryffindor will forgive me!
Sophie the devil: Fine then! I declare Slytherin the winner, Ravenclaw in second...and Gryffindor last meaning that Gryffindor is going to tribal council...See you tonight!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Tribal Council)
Sophie the devil: Hermione, because you gave up the challenge, do you feel threatened?
Hermione: Of course not! I know that my tribe will stand by me no matter what!
Sophie the devil: What do you think of this?...Neville?
Neville: *jumps in fright* Well...er...no...er...er....I...now n...no offence...Her...Hermione, but I was quite...um...an...an...annoyed! *stutters uncontrollably*
Sophie the devil: Whatever! So you've been out here a day, how has it been? Harry?
Harry: What? *Is picking nose*
Sophie the devil: I give up! Go vote!
10 minutes later...
Sophie the devil: I'll go tally the votes.
Ron: I wonder who it is?
Seamus: Probably you. *snide comment*
Ron: Or Hermione.
Harry: All I know is, there are two heads on the chopping block tonight!
Sophie the devil: Ok, first vote is Hermione!
Hermione: *glare at Ron*
Sophie the devil: Second vote...for Ron! One vote Hermione, one vote Ron.
Ron: *is looking shocked*
Sophie the devil: Third vote...Harry! Fourth vote...Neville!One vote to everyone, except Seamus and Fleur! Fifth vote...Hermione!
All: *GASP*
Sophie the devil: The first person voted out of Survivor Afganistan is...HERMIONE!
Hermione: *is crying and looking shocked and angry*
Sophie the devil: Hermione...time for your goodbye speech *acknowledges for Hermione to stand on stage thingy*
Hermione: I HATE YOU ALL! YOU BASTARDS!
Sophie the devil: That was very touching...Hermione, the tribe has spoken! *puts out torch*. But the game wouldn't be fun if I didn't show you the tapes of what they said!...
Harry: eh oh!
Harry's tape: Hermione, your a tightass bum and I don't like you! My vote is for you...Hermione!
Ron's Tape: Harry, you need anger management you fag! My votes for Harry!
Seamus's tape: How dare you critisise my drugginess, BITCH!
Hermione: Wait a minute! We don't know who Seamus voted for! He wrote down 'bitch' on a piece of paper!
Sophie the devil: Yeah, I figured that meant you!
Hermione's tape: I thought you'd support me Neville! My vote is for you!
Fleur's tape: No, Ron...I von't go out vis oo! My vote eez for Ronald!
Neville's tape: * gives camera the finger* Stuff you Hermione!
Sophie the devil: Wasn't that interesting?!
All: *are glaring at each other*
