Mortal Sora: OMG I'm sorry! It's just, you seem so smart and funny...I figured you'd be a she! But I was wrong! Please forgive my mistake, I feel very stupid *ashamed look*. To make up for it, this chapter will have you placed in Wonderland!
***
(Back at the church, spectral realm. Raiziel and the ghost priest are sitting by the altar)
Raziel: ...and that's when I discovered the Soul Reaver was still with me, and that I could never escape my terrible desteny.
Priest: Wow, Raziel. That's really some of a story.
Raziel: Yes...I never realized how I was a pawn to everyone, so needless to say I feel really miserable now...(sigh)
Priest: Well, I don't blame you. You've been having a rough time.
Raziel: I know. (sniff) I never thought...I mean, just to see what a bastard I was as human...and to see myselfe kill the only friend I've had in a century...t-that was almost as tragic as the time Kain ripped off my wings.....a-and....
(Raziel breaks into sobbing. The priest smiles and pats Raziel on the shoulder.)
Priest: There there, my friend. It is okay to cry. It's better to get the feelings out that to lock them away...and I'm not going anywhere, so if you need to talk more...
(Suddently Ariel appears in front of the priest.)
Priest: ...on the other side, I just realized I have a very important appointment at the church council, so mabey later, Raziel! Hello my lady...
(Ariel sighs, then shows the priest the skull side of her head)
Priest: AAAAAHH! SKULL!!
Raziel: (looks up) Ariel! What are you doing here?? I've been looking for you and the others since chapter three!
Ariel: Why are you sitting here talking to the Priest?
Raziel: (sighs) He's the only one who seems to understand my feelings in this damned world.
Priest: Um, can't say that I do. All the guy's been talking about is vampires and demons and timetravels and timestreamers, his former self and some sort of evil vampire lord. It makes no sense at all! Now, GIRLS I understand...
(Ariel rolls her eye and then turns to Raziel)
Ariel: Raziel, we need your help! We were looking for the vampires when...
Raziel: WHAT???!! So you just left without me??? Well that's really nice!!! I thought you were my friends, but I suppose I was wrong!!!
Ariel: They're trapped! We've got to help them!
Raziel: Hah!! First you leave me, THEN you come running for help! Well, guess what; You go help them yourselfe, because I don't care!
Ariel: Please, Raziel! You're the only one who can help us!
Raziel: Not listening!!
Ariel: (begging look) Please...
Raziel: (covers ears) LALALALAAALALALAALALALALALAAALALALAA....
Ariel: Hmph! Well that's mature! (Takes the Priests Bibel and hits Raziel over the head.)
Raziel: OW! Stop it!
Ariel: You come now, or I'll tell Kain who wrote 'Kain is ugly, dumb and dead And he shaves with a lady Gilette!' across the Pillars of Nosgoth!
Raziel: Allright allright! I help you!
Ariel: (smiles) Thank you.
Priest: Now, when you're done saving your little friends, perhaps your...er, good side...and me could go out and have dinner?
(Ariel throws the Bibel through his head)
Priest: I'll take that as a 'no'...
Ariel: C'mon, let's get outta here!
***
(Meanwhile, in the park. The sarafans are picking up all pieces of garbage around the park and throwing them into a rubbish bin which SF Melchiah is holding. They make slow progress.)
SF Turel: Gee, I wonder when Raziel will be back.
SF Dumah: He's been gone for hours.
SF Rahab: Is'nt it weird that he asked us to clean up all this mess, which he also made us throw here?
SF Melchiah: Yeah.
SF Dumah: Do you think it was his idea too that we should have 'join the Sarafan WAF!' sheets stuck on our backs?
SF Rahab: Probably.
SF Turel: He does get the weirdest ideas sometimes.
SF Zephon: I say.
(Suddently there is a loud crash behind them. They all turn around to see the local hot-dog stall being blown up. While they watch in awstruck horror as people run away screaming, five vampires suddently grap them from behind and lift them off the ground)
V Turel: Got 'em!
V Rahab: Me too!
V Dumah: This'll learn them what it means to piss off a vampire leutnant!
SF Dumah: Hey, is'nt that the vampires we bound?
SF Turel: They probably ecaped, dumbass.
SF Rahab: It's all Melchiahs fault, he was the one who bound them!
V Turel: Raziel, we've got them!
SF Rahab: Oh great, they've got Raziel too!
(V Raziel steps into the light.)
SF Melchiah: Oh, what a coincidence! He's named Raziel too!
V Raziel: Yes....coincidence....anyway, now we've finally got you, demon-haters!
SF Dumah: Umm, mr. Vampire, sir, I think you are mistaking...
V Raziel: Huh?
SF Dumah: See, we don't do the 'chase and kill evil undead beings' thing anymore. We've become the Sarafan of the WAF instead.
(Dumah gestures at the 'WAF' sheet on his back. V Raziel casts a suspicius glare on the Sarafans)
V Raziel: ......Really?
SF Turel: Yup. True story. Now, would you please set us down?
V Raziel: None the less, you've been doing some nasty things to vampires before, AND you tied us up. So I'm guessing, no.
SF Turel: Aww. Worth a shot was it, though.
V Turel: What do you want me to do with 'em, boss?
V Raziel: It's MASTER, you jerk!
V Turel: Oh yeah, master! Master!
V Rahab: Can we drain them??
V Zephon: Yeah!
V Dumah: Please??
V Melchiah: I don't wanna drain this one, he's so cute!
(V Melchiah, who is holding SF Melchiah, smiles)
SF Melchiah: (smiles back) Thank you!
SF Turel: C'mon, Melchiah! We're the mighty Sarafan! We will not fall for their flattery! When Raziel is not here, I'm in charge! And I say.....ATTACK!!!
(All the Sarafans begins to kick wildly in the air, since their legs are the only free parts of their bodies. It looks rather pathetic.)
V Raziel: (lowered voice, to Turel) I don't get it, I'm standing right here.
V Turel: They are trying to fool us, bo....er, master.
V Dumah: Come on, I wanna skin 'em!
V Zephon: Yeah!
SF Dumah: NOOOO!!
SF Rahab: Have mercy!!
SF Zephon: I SAY!! I SAY!!
V Raziel: Hmm, you know what? We'll just tie them up over there and then we call it even.
V Turel: Aww.
V Rahab: It was beginning to get fun.
V Zephon: Yeah.
V Melchiah: And I'm still hungry.
V Raziel: Now now, be nice. And you already ate a dozen park rangers before we got here, Melchiah.
V Melchiah: I know, but the skin on my right leg keep falling off...
SF Turel: Ew.....errr....you'll spare us?
V Raziel: Well, right now we'll just gag you.
(the vampires proceed gagging the sarafan)
V Dumah: There.
V Rahab: What now?
V Raziel: I'm in a good mood, why don't we pay a visit to....
(V Raziel takes a moment to get SF Turels visiting card and check the adress)
V Raziel: ...'the Moebius WAF President office, sixth floor, second door to the right.'
V Zephon: Yeah!
(The vampires storm off, leaving the bound and gagged Sarafan behind.)
***
Storyteller: Welcome to the NWN, the Nosgoth Weekly News! This time we are pursuing the interesting story of an author and her vampiric friends, who has been send to Earth and has just escaped the secret underground lair...
Tenshi: Hello again, storyteller. your 'news reader guy' disguise does not fool me, I'm afraid.
Storyteller: What.....? Damn! How'd you know it was me??
Tenshi: Well, what about the fact that you're labeled as the storyteller? Or, perhaps, the fact that there are no Weekly News in Nosgoth, and especially not with extra top stories from Earth?
Storyteller: Oh.....er....could you hang on for 1 sec, please....
(The voice dissapears for a while)
NWN guy: There! NOW you have to trust me!
Tenshi: Wha'....how did you change your label?? Ah, nevermind, just get out of my story! I've had it!
NWN guy: No! I'm not the storyteller anymore! I'm the NWN guy.
Tenshi: Well, changes nothing since NWN guys does'nt fit in this story as well.
NWN guy: ...
Tenshi: (folds arms and stares)
NWN guy: ......crap!! I'll get you back, I swear!
(The voice dissapears again, and is gone)
SF Raziel: Unbelievable, the voice follows you too!
Tenshi: He's been there from chapter 1. He's really persistent.
SF Raziel: ...Unfortunatly.
Vorador: Okay, enough with all the chit chat. What are we doing here?
(Tenshi & co. are standing in a large, dark, underground hall. The hall is lit up by a single candle, hold by Janos.)
Kain: Looks like the hall continues for eternity.
Janos: Dear god, I hope not! This candle is burning down to my hand!
SF Raziel: It does'nt go on forever. Soon we will be at a dead end...
Vorador: Oh, and that's so much better!
SF Raziel: ...to keep escaped prisoners from further progress. Only I know the secret way out.
Tenshi: So when will we be at the dead end?
(At this moment, Janos, who is leading the party with the candle in hand, walks headfirst into a wall. The candle is smashed in the meantime.)
Janos: Owww. Who puts a dead end in front of one just like that anyway!!
(The candle burns out. Everyone watches as the last spark goes out and the room is illuminated by darkness.)
Vorador: ...crap.
Tenshi: Er...you can find the way in darkness, right, Raziel?
SF Raziel: Yah, no...
Tenshi: Damn. I say that a lot don't I?
Kain: That means we're stuck here forever! I bet Moebius is laughing the hell outta himselfe now...
***
(Meanwhile, somewhere in the WAF building. A loud crash is heard. Moebius sits straight up from his chair.)
Moebius: W-w-what was that??
(moebius pushes a button on his intercom.)
Moebius: Jenny, tell me what is going on!
Secretary: I have no idea, sir.
Moebius: Could you go check, then?
Secretary: Sorry, that is not possible, sir.
Moebius: Why not?
Secretary: Personal security, sir. That loud crash COULD be the work of six angry vampires breaking their way to here, sir.
Moebius: ...
Secretary: ...
Moebius: ...
Secretary: ...
Moebius: ....what's the odds of that happening?
Secretary: 1 to 1780928, according to my computer, sir.
Moebius: Then I assume it is quite safe, right?
Secretary: I guess...hold on a minute, sir.
(Moebius waits a moment. The secretary answers over the intercom.)
Secretary: Sir, there are someone here for you.
Moebius: Who is that?
Secretary: I don't know, sir, but they look important.
Moebius: H-how important?? Don't let anyone in that I would'nt trust!
Secretary: I am sure we can trust these. They wear WAF sheets.
Moebius: (sighs in relief) Oh....send them in, please, send them in.
(The intercom is silent. The door opens slowly.)
Moebius: (relaxed) Hello, fellow WAF agents. I did not know the word would get around that fast. Please tell me of your...
(The vampires walk inside. V Raziel has an evil smirk)
Moebius: Er...are you sick? You look so....pale....and your teeth....wait a minute...
V Raziel: Hi. Just thought we'd pay a visit to the greatest vampire hater of all times.
Moebius: V-vampires??? ARGH!!
(Moebius jumps behind his wheelchair.)
Moebius: It must be a misunderstandment! V-vampires are my best fiends!! FRIENDS!
V Raziel: Then why did you send some of your minions to take care of us??
Moebius: I did'nt!! That was all Raziels stupid idea!!!
(The group falls silent for a moment.)
V Raziel: ...Is this the Raziel, leader of the sarafan?
Moebius: Y-yes! That's him!! HE'S the guilty one, not me! Honest!!
V Raziel: Hm, think he can humiliate us, use my name AND get away with it, does he? I think we should go and learn him a lesson.
(The group grins evily.)
V Raziel: Tell me where this other Raziel is now, old man.
Moebius: It is easier if I show you.
V Raziel: Fine. You lot stay here.
(The vampires wait behind while V Raziel follows Moebius into another room. Behind a big painting of Nelson Mandela is a safe. Moebius enters a complicated code and gains access to it. Inside the safe is a small button. Moebius presses it and a new room is revealed. It looks like the middle of a medival church room.)
V Raziel: O.............................kay.
Moebius: Come with me, Raziel.
(V Raziel and Moebius walks into the middle of the room, then stops beside a large font.)
V Raziel: Are we within the sarafan WAF stronghold?
Moebius: Yes, but the glorius days of the sarafan are long since past. This is now the age of the WAF.....MY age.
V Raziel: I see.
(Moebius and V Raziel looks into the pond. A totally black image appears.)
Moebius: There he is. See how he lingers at the very trap he himselfe has created, ignorant that I have snatched you out of my office...
V Raziel: Er, hello? What the hell are you talking about? The screen is black!
Moebius: It's dark in the room.
V Raziel: Ah. So do you know where it is?
Moebius: I will take you there.
V Raziel: Aaahahaha, uh, no. You tell us where it is and me and the boys go....alone.
Moebius: Come on, please? I really really really wanna go!
V Raziel: Please don't beg.
Moebius: Ah, allright, then forget about our old 5 minute friendship then, and concider our common ground...we both want SF Raziel dead. I can help you do that.
V Raziel: You want him dead?
Moebius: Not really, but I thought it might addd a dramatic effect to the storyline.
V Raziel: Okay, okay, I give up. Let's get the others and go.
Moebius: Allright, but on your way out, please try and keep the casualties at the minimum. And stay away from Jenny, too, she's my girl. Else, do what you have to do.
V Raziel: And what is that?
Moebius: Kill Kain...
V Raziel: WHAT??
Moebius: Er, um, uh, did I say 'Kill Kain'? I meant kill sarafan Raziel and take revenge!!
V Raziel: You're bloody weird, you know that?
Moebius: Anyway, all great movements requiers a few martyrs.
V Raziel: ....whatever.
(then, V Raziel proceeds running screaming out of the room.)
Moebius: Man, that line would have been SO MUCH cooler if I remembered how to dissapear in a mist of smoke! Ah well...
***
(Tenshi and Co. are sitting on the floor in the dark room. And how can I tell that they are sitting down if the room is dark? Well, I, er....guess I saw it through that plothole over there...)
Tenshi: Ok, Janos you start this time.
Janos: Uuuh....male?
Tenshi: Yes. 19.
Janos: undead?
Tenshi: Yes, 18.
Janos: Vampire?
Tenshi: Yes, 17.
Janos: Turel.
Tenshi: ....
Janos: ...
Tenshi: ...Crap! Ok, THIS time you'll never guess it...
Kain: ARGH!!! We've been sitting for an hour listening to Janos and Tenshi's game! It's agonizing! Everyone knows all Tenshi thinks about is LoK!
Vorador: Tenshi, for the sake of the dark gods, WHEN are we gonna find a way out??
Tenshi: Well, er....I was kinda hoping we would be rescued.
Kain: WHAT??! How can you say that??? We're miles below the ground, who'd ever look for us here??
Voice: Um, hello.
(Kain squeals like a girl and jumps into Voradors arms.)
Vorador: WOAH!
Kain: VOICES! VOICES IN THE DARK!!
Tenshi: What's going on over there??
(All this noise awakens SF Raziel who's been sleeping on the ground.)
Kain: DO SOMETHING!! GET MY REAVER AND WACK'EM!!!
Vorador: WOULD YOU CALM DOWN AND GET OFF MY FACE, YOU JERK???!!
SF Raziel: Who is being loud??
Tenshi: Kain, get off Vorador. C'mon, just get off.
(Kain jumps off Vorador)
Tenshi: Now, let's sort this out. Who are you?
Voice: Um, I'm just--
SF Raziel: Oh no...it's Moebius' new leader of the Sarafan! How the hell did she get here?
Tenshi: It's a HE! Mortal Sora is a HE!
SF Raziel: Er.....she is?
Kain: Yeah, Tenshi said it wrong the first time, and used it for an excuse to send the bastard into--
(Tenshi steps on Kains clawed foot.)
Kain: OW! Hey, that did'nt hurt.
Mortal Sora: What am I doing here? You promised to send me to Wonderland!
Tenshi: Um....well...er....oh, is that the time? Jeez I've got to...
(Janos grabs Tenshi before she can storm off.)
Janos: Nonono you don't. I want an explernation too.
Vorador: Ditto.
Karen: Yeah.
Tenshi: Ooooookay.......Um, allright, so that's another mistake on my part to add...
Vorador: *to himselfe* And the list just keeps getting longer and longer....
Tenshi: I'm sorry. It appears you're stuck here with the rest of us.
Mortal Sora: Then how about the compensation you promised me for calling me a girl??
Tenshi: Look, I promise I'll make it up to you!! Just....not....right now...
Mortal Sora: *sarcastically* Great.
SF Raziel: Ah hell, what do we owe her....him....crap, I'm not really helping, am I?
Janos: Why don't you just shut up and go to sleep again.
SF Raziel: You better be careful I don't rip out your still beating heart!
Janos: Oh boo hoo, like you could do that without Moebius' staff.
Mortal Sora: What, this one?
(Mortal Sora then pulls Moebius' staff out of his robes. The room is lit by it's bright light.)
Tenshi: WOAH! Where'd you get that???
Mortal Sora: Moebius lent it to me, told me to take care of it. He must trust me a lot.
SF Raziel: Or he's just a very stupid man. Why don't you just....GIVE IT TO MEEEE!!
(SF Raziel makes a leap for the staff, but Mortal Sora just sidesteps and SF Raziel smashes into the wall.)
Tenshi: I'm sorry. He has some weird tendencies, especially that one called 'Power-Hunger'.
Mortal Sora: Ah. I don't blame him. After all he is just...mortal.
Tenshi: ..............So are you.
Mortal Sora: Well, you know....
(Mortal Sora suddently looks at the staff with a certain hungry glare)
Tenshi: Allright, give it to me. Now.
(Tenshi takes the staff from Mortal Sora.)
Mortal Sora: Hey I've resisted to use it for my own personal gain untill now you know! I've been trapped an entire chapter with that thing!
Tenshi: I don't trust you. You're gonna paralyze the vampires or something.
Mortal Sora: Erm, actually, you already did.
(Tenshi looks at the vampires, who has dropped on the ground around her)
Tenshi: ...oops.
Mortal Sora: Now will you give me the staff?
Tenshi: Ok, you can have it back if you promise me one thing.
Mortal Sora: What?
Tenshi: Please please PLEASE join us instead of Moebius! We could really use your help! He really is a bad guy, and we can't leave him or the others in our world!
(SF Raziel jumps up)
SF Raziel: Noo, don't do this! I don't want to be stuck here with HIM!!
Tenshi: Shut up, Raziel! Please say yes?? Pleeeaasssee?
SF Raziel: He took my job! He's gonna betray us!
Tenshi: No he's not!
SF Raziel: Yes he is! I know it! He's just as bad as Moebius!!
Tenshi: No, he's NOT!!
Mortal Sora: Uuuh, I don't know...
***
Oh my god! What is Mortal Sora gonna choose??
I hope you'll be as kind as to give me your answer through your review!!
And all you others, please REVIEW and make one persons day a little brighter!!
Phew, that was a long chapter. So anyway, see y'all next chapter!!!
***
(Back at the church, spectral realm. Raiziel and the ghost priest are sitting by the altar)
Raziel: ...and that's when I discovered the Soul Reaver was still with me, and that I could never escape my terrible desteny.
Priest: Wow, Raziel. That's really some of a story.
Raziel: Yes...I never realized how I was a pawn to everyone, so needless to say I feel really miserable now...(sigh)
Priest: Well, I don't blame you. You've been having a rough time.
Raziel: I know. (sniff) I never thought...I mean, just to see what a bastard I was as human...and to see myselfe kill the only friend I've had in a century...t-that was almost as tragic as the time Kain ripped off my wings.....a-and....
(Raziel breaks into sobbing. The priest smiles and pats Raziel on the shoulder.)
Priest: There there, my friend. It is okay to cry. It's better to get the feelings out that to lock them away...and I'm not going anywhere, so if you need to talk more...
(Suddently Ariel appears in front of the priest.)
Priest: ...on the other side, I just realized I have a very important appointment at the church council, so mabey later, Raziel! Hello my lady...
(Ariel sighs, then shows the priest the skull side of her head)
Priest: AAAAAHH! SKULL!!
Raziel: (looks up) Ariel! What are you doing here?? I've been looking for you and the others since chapter three!
Ariel: Why are you sitting here talking to the Priest?
Raziel: (sighs) He's the only one who seems to understand my feelings in this damned world.
Priest: Um, can't say that I do. All the guy's been talking about is vampires and demons and timetravels and timestreamers, his former self and some sort of evil vampire lord. It makes no sense at all! Now, GIRLS I understand...
(Ariel rolls her eye and then turns to Raziel)
Ariel: Raziel, we need your help! We were looking for the vampires when...
Raziel: WHAT???!! So you just left without me??? Well that's really nice!!! I thought you were my friends, but I suppose I was wrong!!!
Ariel: They're trapped! We've got to help them!
Raziel: Hah!! First you leave me, THEN you come running for help! Well, guess what; You go help them yourselfe, because I don't care!
Ariel: Please, Raziel! You're the only one who can help us!
Raziel: Not listening!!
Ariel: (begging look) Please...
Raziel: (covers ears) LALALALAAALALALAALALALALALAAALALALAA....
Ariel: Hmph! Well that's mature! (Takes the Priests Bibel and hits Raziel over the head.)
Raziel: OW! Stop it!
Ariel: You come now, or I'll tell Kain who wrote 'Kain is ugly, dumb and dead And he shaves with a lady Gilette!' across the Pillars of Nosgoth!
Raziel: Allright allright! I help you!
Ariel: (smiles) Thank you.
Priest: Now, when you're done saving your little friends, perhaps your...er, good side...and me could go out and have dinner?
(Ariel throws the Bibel through his head)
Priest: I'll take that as a 'no'...
Ariel: C'mon, let's get outta here!
***
(Meanwhile, in the park. The sarafans are picking up all pieces of garbage around the park and throwing them into a rubbish bin which SF Melchiah is holding. They make slow progress.)
SF Turel: Gee, I wonder when Raziel will be back.
SF Dumah: He's been gone for hours.
SF Rahab: Is'nt it weird that he asked us to clean up all this mess, which he also made us throw here?
SF Melchiah: Yeah.
SF Dumah: Do you think it was his idea too that we should have 'join the Sarafan WAF!' sheets stuck on our backs?
SF Rahab: Probably.
SF Turel: He does get the weirdest ideas sometimes.
SF Zephon: I say.
(Suddently there is a loud crash behind them. They all turn around to see the local hot-dog stall being blown up. While they watch in awstruck horror as people run away screaming, five vampires suddently grap them from behind and lift them off the ground)
V Turel: Got 'em!
V Rahab: Me too!
V Dumah: This'll learn them what it means to piss off a vampire leutnant!
SF Dumah: Hey, is'nt that the vampires we bound?
SF Turel: They probably ecaped, dumbass.
SF Rahab: It's all Melchiahs fault, he was the one who bound them!
V Turel: Raziel, we've got them!
SF Rahab: Oh great, they've got Raziel too!
(V Raziel steps into the light.)
SF Melchiah: Oh, what a coincidence! He's named Raziel too!
V Raziel: Yes....coincidence....anyway, now we've finally got you, demon-haters!
SF Dumah: Umm, mr. Vampire, sir, I think you are mistaking...
V Raziel: Huh?
SF Dumah: See, we don't do the 'chase and kill evil undead beings' thing anymore. We've become the Sarafan of the WAF instead.
(Dumah gestures at the 'WAF' sheet on his back. V Raziel casts a suspicius glare on the Sarafans)
V Raziel: ......Really?
SF Turel: Yup. True story. Now, would you please set us down?
V Raziel: None the less, you've been doing some nasty things to vampires before, AND you tied us up. So I'm guessing, no.
SF Turel: Aww. Worth a shot was it, though.
V Turel: What do you want me to do with 'em, boss?
V Raziel: It's MASTER, you jerk!
V Turel: Oh yeah, master! Master!
V Rahab: Can we drain them??
V Zephon: Yeah!
V Dumah: Please??
V Melchiah: I don't wanna drain this one, he's so cute!
(V Melchiah, who is holding SF Melchiah, smiles)
SF Melchiah: (smiles back) Thank you!
SF Turel: C'mon, Melchiah! We're the mighty Sarafan! We will not fall for their flattery! When Raziel is not here, I'm in charge! And I say.....ATTACK!!!
(All the Sarafans begins to kick wildly in the air, since their legs are the only free parts of their bodies. It looks rather pathetic.)
V Raziel: (lowered voice, to Turel) I don't get it, I'm standing right here.
V Turel: They are trying to fool us, bo....er, master.
V Dumah: Come on, I wanna skin 'em!
V Zephon: Yeah!
SF Dumah: NOOOO!!
SF Rahab: Have mercy!!
SF Zephon: I SAY!! I SAY!!
V Raziel: Hmm, you know what? We'll just tie them up over there and then we call it even.
V Turel: Aww.
V Rahab: It was beginning to get fun.
V Zephon: Yeah.
V Melchiah: And I'm still hungry.
V Raziel: Now now, be nice. And you already ate a dozen park rangers before we got here, Melchiah.
V Melchiah: I know, but the skin on my right leg keep falling off...
SF Turel: Ew.....errr....you'll spare us?
V Raziel: Well, right now we'll just gag you.
(the vampires proceed gagging the sarafan)
V Dumah: There.
V Rahab: What now?
V Raziel: I'm in a good mood, why don't we pay a visit to....
(V Raziel takes a moment to get SF Turels visiting card and check the adress)
V Raziel: ...'the Moebius WAF President office, sixth floor, second door to the right.'
V Zephon: Yeah!
(The vampires storm off, leaving the bound and gagged Sarafan behind.)
***
Storyteller: Welcome to the NWN, the Nosgoth Weekly News! This time we are pursuing the interesting story of an author and her vampiric friends, who has been send to Earth and has just escaped the secret underground lair...
Tenshi: Hello again, storyteller. your 'news reader guy' disguise does not fool me, I'm afraid.
Storyteller: What.....? Damn! How'd you know it was me??
Tenshi: Well, what about the fact that you're labeled as the storyteller? Or, perhaps, the fact that there are no Weekly News in Nosgoth, and especially not with extra top stories from Earth?
Storyteller: Oh.....er....could you hang on for 1 sec, please....
(The voice dissapears for a while)
NWN guy: There! NOW you have to trust me!
Tenshi: Wha'....how did you change your label?? Ah, nevermind, just get out of my story! I've had it!
NWN guy: No! I'm not the storyteller anymore! I'm the NWN guy.
Tenshi: Well, changes nothing since NWN guys does'nt fit in this story as well.
NWN guy: ...
Tenshi: (folds arms and stares)
NWN guy: ......crap!! I'll get you back, I swear!
(The voice dissapears again, and is gone)
SF Raziel: Unbelievable, the voice follows you too!
Tenshi: He's been there from chapter 1. He's really persistent.
SF Raziel: ...Unfortunatly.
Vorador: Okay, enough with all the chit chat. What are we doing here?
(Tenshi & co. are standing in a large, dark, underground hall. The hall is lit up by a single candle, hold by Janos.)
Kain: Looks like the hall continues for eternity.
Janos: Dear god, I hope not! This candle is burning down to my hand!
SF Raziel: It does'nt go on forever. Soon we will be at a dead end...
Vorador: Oh, and that's so much better!
SF Raziel: ...to keep escaped prisoners from further progress. Only I know the secret way out.
Tenshi: So when will we be at the dead end?
(At this moment, Janos, who is leading the party with the candle in hand, walks headfirst into a wall. The candle is smashed in the meantime.)
Janos: Owww. Who puts a dead end in front of one just like that anyway!!
(The candle burns out. Everyone watches as the last spark goes out and the room is illuminated by darkness.)
Vorador: ...crap.
Tenshi: Er...you can find the way in darkness, right, Raziel?
SF Raziel: Yah, no...
Tenshi: Damn. I say that a lot don't I?
Kain: That means we're stuck here forever! I bet Moebius is laughing the hell outta himselfe now...
***
(Meanwhile, somewhere in the WAF building. A loud crash is heard. Moebius sits straight up from his chair.)
Moebius: W-w-what was that??
(moebius pushes a button on his intercom.)
Moebius: Jenny, tell me what is going on!
Secretary: I have no idea, sir.
Moebius: Could you go check, then?
Secretary: Sorry, that is not possible, sir.
Moebius: Why not?
Secretary: Personal security, sir. That loud crash COULD be the work of six angry vampires breaking their way to here, sir.
Moebius: ...
Secretary: ...
Moebius: ...
Secretary: ...
Moebius: ....what's the odds of that happening?
Secretary: 1 to 1780928, according to my computer, sir.
Moebius: Then I assume it is quite safe, right?
Secretary: I guess...hold on a minute, sir.
(Moebius waits a moment. The secretary answers over the intercom.)
Secretary: Sir, there are someone here for you.
Moebius: Who is that?
Secretary: I don't know, sir, but they look important.
Moebius: H-how important?? Don't let anyone in that I would'nt trust!
Secretary: I am sure we can trust these. They wear WAF sheets.
Moebius: (sighs in relief) Oh....send them in, please, send them in.
(The intercom is silent. The door opens slowly.)
Moebius: (relaxed) Hello, fellow WAF agents. I did not know the word would get around that fast. Please tell me of your...
(The vampires walk inside. V Raziel has an evil smirk)
Moebius: Er...are you sick? You look so....pale....and your teeth....wait a minute...
V Raziel: Hi. Just thought we'd pay a visit to the greatest vampire hater of all times.
Moebius: V-vampires??? ARGH!!
(Moebius jumps behind his wheelchair.)
Moebius: It must be a misunderstandment! V-vampires are my best fiends!! FRIENDS!
V Raziel: Then why did you send some of your minions to take care of us??
Moebius: I did'nt!! That was all Raziels stupid idea!!!
(The group falls silent for a moment.)
V Raziel: ...Is this the Raziel, leader of the sarafan?
Moebius: Y-yes! That's him!! HE'S the guilty one, not me! Honest!!
V Raziel: Hm, think he can humiliate us, use my name AND get away with it, does he? I think we should go and learn him a lesson.
(The group grins evily.)
V Raziel: Tell me where this other Raziel is now, old man.
Moebius: It is easier if I show you.
V Raziel: Fine. You lot stay here.
(The vampires wait behind while V Raziel follows Moebius into another room. Behind a big painting of Nelson Mandela is a safe. Moebius enters a complicated code and gains access to it. Inside the safe is a small button. Moebius presses it and a new room is revealed. It looks like the middle of a medival church room.)
V Raziel: O.............................kay.
Moebius: Come with me, Raziel.
(V Raziel and Moebius walks into the middle of the room, then stops beside a large font.)
V Raziel: Are we within the sarafan WAF stronghold?
Moebius: Yes, but the glorius days of the sarafan are long since past. This is now the age of the WAF.....MY age.
V Raziel: I see.
(Moebius and V Raziel looks into the pond. A totally black image appears.)
Moebius: There he is. See how he lingers at the very trap he himselfe has created, ignorant that I have snatched you out of my office...
V Raziel: Er, hello? What the hell are you talking about? The screen is black!
Moebius: It's dark in the room.
V Raziel: Ah. So do you know where it is?
Moebius: I will take you there.
V Raziel: Aaahahaha, uh, no. You tell us where it is and me and the boys go....alone.
Moebius: Come on, please? I really really really wanna go!
V Raziel: Please don't beg.
Moebius: Ah, allright, then forget about our old 5 minute friendship then, and concider our common ground...we both want SF Raziel dead. I can help you do that.
V Raziel: You want him dead?
Moebius: Not really, but I thought it might addd a dramatic effect to the storyline.
V Raziel: Okay, okay, I give up. Let's get the others and go.
Moebius: Allright, but on your way out, please try and keep the casualties at the minimum. And stay away from Jenny, too, she's my girl. Else, do what you have to do.
V Raziel: And what is that?
Moebius: Kill Kain...
V Raziel: WHAT??
Moebius: Er, um, uh, did I say 'Kill Kain'? I meant kill sarafan Raziel and take revenge!!
V Raziel: You're bloody weird, you know that?
Moebius: Anyway, all great movements requiers a few martyrs.
V Raziel: ....whatever.
(then, V Raziel proceeds running screaming out of the room.)
Moebius: Man, that line would have been SO MUCH cooler if I remembered how to dissapear in a mist of smoke! Ah well...
***
(Tenshi and Co. are sitting on the floor in the dark room. And how can I tell that they are sitting down if the room is dark? Well, I, er....guess I saw it through that plothole over there...)
Tenshi: Ok, Janos you start this time.
Janos: Uuuh....male?
Tenshi: Yes. 19.
Janos: undead?
Tenshi: Yes, 18.
Janos: Vampire?
Tenshi: Yes, 17.
Janos: Turel.
Tenshi: ....
Janos: ...
Tenshi: ...Crap! Ok, THIS time you'll never guess it...
Kain: ARGH!!! We've been sitting for an hour listening to Janos and Tenshi's game! It's agonizing! Everyone knows all Tenshi thinks about is LoK!
Vorador: Tenshi, for the sake of the dark gods, WHEN are we gonna find a way out??
Tenshi: Well, er....I was kinda hoping we would be rescued.
Kain: WHAT??! How can you say that??? We're miles below the ground, who'd ever look for us here??
Voice: Um, hello.
(Kain squeals like a girl and jumps into Voradors arms.)
Vorador: WOAH!
Kain: VOICES! VOICES IN THE DARK!!
Tenshi: What's going on over there??
(All this noise awakens SF Raziel who's been sleeping on the ground.)
Kain: DO SOMETHING!! GET MY REAVER AND WACK'EM!!!
Vorador: WOULD YOU CALM DOWN AND GET OFF MY FACE, YOU JERK???!!
SF Raziel: Who is being loud??
Tenshi: Kain, get off Vorador. C'mon, just get off.
(Kain jumps off Vorador)
Tenshi: Now, let's sort this out. Who are you?
Voice: Um, I'm just--
SF Raziel: Oh no...it's Moebius' new leader of the Sarafan! How the hell did she get here?
Tenshi: It's a HE! Mortal Sora is a HE!
SF Raziel: Er.....she is?
Kain: Yeah, Tenshi said it wrong the first time, and used it for an excuse to send the bastard into--
(Tenshi steps on Kains clawed foot.)
Kain: OW! Hey, that did'nt hurt.
Mortal Sora: What am I doing here? You promised to send me to Wonderland!
Tenshi: Um....well...er....oh, is that the time? Jeez I've got to...
(Janos grabs Tenshi before she can storm off.)
Janos: Nonono you don't. I want an explernation too.
Vorador: Ditto.
Karen: Yeah.
Tenshi: Ooooookay.......Um, allright, so that's another mistake on my part to add...
Vorador: *to himselfe* And the list just keeps getting longer and longer....
Tenshi: I'm sorry. It appears you're stuck here with the rest of us.
Mortal Sora: Then how about the compensation you promised me for calling me a girl??
Tenshi: Look, I promise I'll make it up to you!! Just....not....right now...
Mortal Sora: *sarcastically* Great.
SF Raziel: Ah hell, what do we owe her....him....crap, I'm not really helping, am I?
Janos: Why don't you just shut up and go to sleep again.
SF Raziel: You better be careful I don't rip out your still beating heart!
Janos: Oh boo hoo, like you could do that without Moebius' staff.
Mortal Sora: What, this one?
(Mortal Sora then pulls Moebius' staff out of his robes. The room is lit by it's bright light.)
Tenshi: WOAH! Where'd you get that???
Mortal Sora: Moebius lent it to me, told me to take care of it. He must trust me a lot.
SF Raziel: Or he's just a very stupid man. Why don't you just....GIVE IT TO MEEEE!!
(SF Raziel makes a leap for the staff, but Mortal Sora just sidesteps and SF Raziel smashes into the wall.)
Tenshi: I'm sorry. He has some weird tendencies, especially that one called 'Power-Hunger'.
Mortal Sora: Ah. I don't blame him. After all he is just...mortal.
Tenshi: ..............So are you.
Mortal Sora: Well, you know....
(Mortal Sora suddently looks at the staff with a certain hungry glare)
Tenshi: Allright, give it to me. Now.
(Tenshi takes the staff from Mortal Sora.)
Mortal Sora: Hey I've resisted to use it for my own personal gain untill now you know! I've been trapped an entire chapter with that thing!
Tenshi: I don't trust you. You're gonna paralyze the vampires or something.
Mortal Sora: Erm, actually, you already did.
(Tenshi looks at the vampires, who has dropped on the ground around her)
Tenshi: ...oops.
Mortal Sora: Now will you give me the staff?
Tenshi: Ok, you can have it back if you promise me one thing.
Mortal Sora: What?
Tenshi: Please please PLEASE join us instead of Moebius! We could really use your help! He really is a bad guy, and we can't leave him or the others in our world!
(SF Raziel jumps up)
SF Raziel: Noo, don't do this! I don't want to be stuck here with HIM!!
Tenshi: Shut up, Raziel! Please say yes?? Pleeeaasssee?
SF Raziel: He took my job! He's gonna betray us!
Tenshi: No he's not!
SF Raziel: Yes he is! I know it! He's just as bad as Moebius!!
Tenshi: No, he's NOT!!
Mortal Sora: Uuuh, I don't know...
***
Oh my god! What is Mortal Sora gonna choose??
I hope you'll be as kind as to give me your answer through your review!!
And all you others, please REVIEW and make one persons day a little brighter!!
Phew, that was a long chapter. So anyway, see y'all next chapter!!!
