Chapter 17 – Your Wormhole Awaits, Sir

"Quite a party, General." Jack mused as he and Sam entered the briefing room at precisely 15:00 hours the following day. They both stood briefly to attention and saluted Hammond, who returned the gesture. "Let's see, two Goons, brainless variety," he nodded at the pair of black-suited heavies standing staring at him on the opposite side of the table, "one *uns'nvak*, if I'm not mistaken," he continued, smiling at the Andan Ambassador's startled reaction to the worst word in the man's own dialect, "and one cheap, unprincipled politician. How are you, Senator Kinsey?"

"That's right, O'Neill." said the Senator, whose politically-bred thick skin hadn't quite protected him from Jack's verbal assault. "Get the digs in while you're still able to. Where you *and* the Major here are going, there won't be much time for it." Kinsey had been expecting a sharper reaction from O'Neill and Carter, and was somewhat disappointed when all he got were expressions of disdain, as though they both suspected that they had stepped in something unpleasant.

"Cut it out, Jack!" said Hammond, and turning to Kinsey he continued, "And you, Senator, should remember that your Office is supposed to be marked by dignity and statesmanship! Kindly try to live up to that tradition."

"Don't lecture me, General!" Kinsey retorted. "For a man whose days in this office are numbered, you are in no position to censure me!"

"I am nevertheless still the Commanding Officer of this Base, Senator." the General came straight back at him. "And I will see to it that this obnoxious business is carried out in a proper manner."

"I do not regard this as *obnoxious*, General." said the Ambassador. "These people are criminals who have done a great deal of damage on Andar, and will be brought to justice under our rules."

"So, 'Guilty Until Proven Innocent' applies then, does it?" asked Jack. "Or are we talking 'foregone conclusion' here? Don't forget I've seen how you people dispense *justice* at close quarters. Your detention camps are full of people sent there by your Safety and Health Bureau."

"And do you not have detention camps here used on the very same basis, Colonel?" said the Ambassador. "And I observe that your NID and other Government agencies are run on very similar lines to our SHB. To use a local expression, by your statements you are *digging your own grave*."

"Well, it's good practice for the real thing when we get to your planet." replied Jack, looking to see how Kinsey reacted to that. Predictably, he saw no change in the Senator's smug face.

"Senator," said Hammond menacingly, "I suggest that you just read the extradition order concerning my officers now. If you have any dignity left, that is."

Kinsey looked long and hard at Jack and Sam. He had expected O'Neill to react in this manner, but he was a little surprised at the calm way the Major was standing there with nothing more than contempt written across her face. But he still had two major cards to play, with which he would show these *underlings* just who was master at power games. He reached into his brief case and pulled out two documents. As he looked up again, something bright caught his eye.

"Major, is that a ring you're wearing?" he said in mild astonishment. He immediately saw an opportunity to apply more leverage in the next step of his plan. He didn't care whether Carter went to Andar or got off scot-free: both he and the Ambassador – a man after his own heart – just wanted to make sure of O'Neill.

"Yes, Senator." replied Sam curtly, intent on not giving the man any grounds for exploitation. Hammond looked sharply at her, while Jack continued to regard Kinsey as some form of excrement.

"Well, I'm sure that Colonel O'Neill will want to give consideration to your situation and that of your fiancé." he said, separating the top sheet of paper in his hand. "Colonel, this is a printed statement of your actions over the last six months based on your own report and those of Grogan and Hailey." He reached across the table and placed it on the far side of the surface. "If you will sign this admission of your actions, Colonel, I can try to persuade the Ambassador here to drop the extradition request concerning Major Carter."

"That won't be necessary, Senator." said Sam before anyone else could intervene – especially Jack. "Colonel O'Neill *is* my fiancé. We go together, or not at all." Glancing down at the paper on the table, she continued, "And may I suggest that you roll up that document tightly and stick it....."

"Major!" cried Hammond, smiling briefly in spite of the seriousness of the situation. Jack raised an eyebrow as he looked round at her from the corner of his eye. The faintest flash of a smirk vanished almost instantly from the face of Brainless Goon number one, but his colleague was unmoved.

"Very well." said Kinsey, looking up at the security camera briefly. "Let the record show that I offered humanitarian assistance but the help was thrown back in my face." He raised the other piece of paper and started to read the full text, carefully and slowly. As he reached the critical paragraph, he paused and stared at the two officers. "Accordingly, having accepted the evidence before us, The Government of The United States of America, acting on behalf of the citizens of Earth, hereby agrees to the extradition of Colonel Jonathan O'Neill, USAF, and Major Samantha Carter, USAF into the custody of the representative of the Government of the planet Andar, to face charges of reckless behaviour resulting in injury to several persons on that world, and of wounding with intent to kill. Passage to Andar is to be enacted immediately upon the serving of this extradition warrant."

Kinsey passed the paper to Hammond, who dropped it on the table without looking at it. The General glanced at his red telephone, the action not going unnoticed by the Senator.

"If you're expecting President Schwarzenegger to put in a call to get their asses out of the sling, General, then you're wasting your time." he said with a sly smile. The surprise on the Commanding Officer's face could not be mistaken. Kinsey continued, "We know all about your telephone calls and your scheme to get him to intervene. That's why we told him that we would be doing this in an hour's time. By the time he calls, they'll be light years away. Literally."

Hammond looked stricken, and then angry. He turned to his two officers and said, "I'm sorry, Colonel, Major. I've let you down. I never thought that subversion of the President himself would be possible."

"Don't worry about it, Sir." said Jack. "I believe the climate on Andar is quite acceptable at this time of year."

"Escort them to the Gate." Kinsey instructed BG1 and BG2, his satisfaction at what he had engineered only too evident in his expression.

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"Manhandle me again like that, and I'll bust your balls!" hissed Sam as she snatched her elbow out of the NID man's grasp. He hopped away from her, his instep screaming at him where she had dug in her boot heel. The second NID man took one look at Jack's expression and stood off, ushering him through the door. Without waiting, they both set off towards the Gate Room, followed by the entourage. The look of triumph on Kinsey's face was unmistakeable as he followed the four, with Hammond and the Andan trailing behind him.

At first, the knocking noise that accompanied them on their way seemed like a piece of machinery such as a pump acting up. But as they approached the Gate Room, it became unmistakeably louder and was apparently coming from everywhere. A passing SF collided with one of the NID men, knocking him sideways, and moved on without stopping or apologising. As the Senator passed a doorway, an anonymous voice from within clearly issued the word "Traitor!", and he looked round, startled.

Then as they approached the steel doors to the Gate Room, a party of troops armed with M16 rifles blocked their way. O'Neill and Carter came to a halt, happy to wait and see what was going to happen next. Major Griff stared ahead at the group behind his comrades, his face set like stone.

"Prohibited area." said Griff. "Off-limits to non-authorised personnel."

Kinsey looked as though he were about to have apoplexy. "Hammond!" he screamed. "Get your men out of the way! I'll have every man court- martialled who prevents us going about our legitimate duties!"

"The Major's statement was correct, Senator." said Hammond calmly. "You need to show him your authorisation to enter the Gate Room."

"Why, you!" blustered the senator. "I'll have you busted as well!" In the background, the hammering sound being made by every SGC member of staff knocking something solid on the doors and walls, or just kicking against metal cabinets, had reached a peak, and it was difficult to be heard without shouting.

Jack and Sam smiled to each other, but then he raised his hands in the air and whistled loudly, shouting, "Whoa, kids! Cool it!" Like the sea retreating before Moses, the sound died down within seconds and there was relative silence. He looked round at Griff and said, "Nice try, Major, and thanks for the effort. But we'll take it from here, OK?"

"Sir, yes, Sir!" shouted Griff. "Squad! With me!" and he marched off briskly. As he passed Kinsey, he distinctly heard the senator mumbling something about Leavenworth military prison. He stopped instantly and glowered down at the politician, their eyes only six inches apart. After a moment's pause during which he could see the beads of sweat running down the frightened man's nose, he said very loudly, "Sir, were you addressing me just then?" His M16 was only an inch from his opponent's chest.

"Er, no." said Kinsey, backing away nervously. "No, I wasn't." Surprisingly, the Andan Ambassador smiled at his ally's obvious discomfort.

"Very well, Sir!" shouted Griff. "Squad! Resume!" and he trotted off leading his men away.

"Major, does your security clearance still extend to getting us into this room?" said Jack to Sam in the silence that followed.

"I believe it might, Sir." answered Sam coolly, swiping her card through the slot on the wall and punching in a code. The doors obligingly rolled back with the usual loud grating noise. "I must ask Sergeant Siler to oil the mechanism soon." she added. "Can't let standards slip, can we?" Hammond was at a loss for words.

Kinsey and the NID men had the good sense to stand away as the rest of the party assembled at the foot of the ramp. Hammond faced Sam and Jack, a solemn expression on his face. "Jack, Sam," he started, "I cannot tell you how sorry I am."

"That's all right, Sir." replied Jack, with Sam nodding in agreement. "There are clearly major forces at work here, and if they can hoodwink The President, we stood little chance. It's not your fault."

"Very touching." said the Ambassador. "But we're wasting time here, General. Please issue the order to open the Gate."

Hammond looked up at the Control Room window, and saw that Sergeant Davis knew what to expect. He gave a thumbs up to the General, and opened the iris preparatory to starting the dialling sequence. The giant circle started moving and the first chevron lit up. As it did, Jack turned to Kinsey.

"Senator!" he cried cheerily.

"Yes, Colonel?" Kinsey replied, satisfied that his plan was back on track.

"You're an asshole, Senator!" said Jack with glee. He shouted a phrase at him in Arabic, which only Lieutenant Mustapha Aziz in the control room reacted to by falling over in his chair with laughter. When asked by his colleagues later for a translation, he was still laughing as he uttered "May you find your wife in bed with your brother!"

As the fourth chevron illuminated, Jack reached for Sam's hand and laced his fingers with hers. "Let's at least go out in style, Carter!" he said, smiling at her.

"That's *Sam* to you, O'Neill!" she replied, laughing. They waited a little longer, and Hammond could only admire their sang froid.

"Chevron seven......" came Davis' voice over the loudspeaker. Sam and Jack leaned towards each other for a light kiss on the lips. They stayed in that position until the voice continued.

"Will not engage!"

Jack sighed. "You see, Carter, you can't trust machines. They're like politicians. You believe in them, and they let you down when you really need them."

"Couldn't agree more, Sir." she replied. "Fucking useless."

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