To Love Again

Disclaimer: I don't own Passions etc.

Chapter 18

Simple Conversations

Fox sat on his bed, his head in his hands. "I lost her and it was all of my fault." Fox said as tears streaked his face. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault, you did say that she had a heart problem... and you said yourself that you didn't even know about it."

"I know but still if I had been paying attention we wouldn't have gone over that cliff and then she wouldn't be dead." Said Fox. Nicole sighed, it was like listening to a broken record. 'Why can't he get over this girl? I mean they weren't serious and why was he going through this guilt trip? She would have died anyway.'

"Fox you have got to stop blaming yourself... I mean... I'm sorry to say this but she would have died anyhow." She said crossing her legs. Fox looked up at her, hurt clearly in her eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then immediately closed it. "I guess you might be right." He said standing. He walked over to his bar and poured himself a drink and downed it in one gulp. They had been talking for hours it was a couple minutes to 11 now.

"Fox..." Nicole said standing and walking to his side. Fox looked down at her, he towered over her by a few inches in height. "You know... I can help ease the pain a little if you like." She said rubbing his shoulder. He shrugged off her hand and walked over to his balcony. "Nothing can ease the pain that I feel." He said gripping onto the rail. He had the urge to jump at that very moment but stopped himself when he felt Nicole put her hand on his shoulder.

"You have to move on you know... you can't stop living because of this girl... I mean really ask yourself is this girl's death really enough to make you shutdown like this?"

Fox turned his gaze over to this woman. Her blonde hair cascaded down to her shoulders her blue eyes held a certain ignorance but also held a certain gentleness. At that moment he really didn't have the heart to yell at her. He simply answered her by saying one simple word. "Yes."

Nicole was taken aback by his answer. "This Theresa girl must have really been something then, huh?" She said sitting down in the nearest chair. "She was... oh she really was... if you had met her you would have loved her." He said sitting back on his bed. Nicole got back up and made her way over to his side.

"Tell me more about her." She said sitting down next to him while giving him an encouraging smile. Fox sighed. "There's so much to say... She was beautiful inside and out, she had such a passion for life and if she loved someone damn she wouldn't give up on that person no matter the inevitable." "She sounds really amazing..." She said her voice trailing off. Never had she thought that she would be sitting there talking with the man she should have been sleeping with but instead was talking about his passed love.

"She was..." Fox said his voice breaking a bit. He never in his life thought he would be talking about Theresa in the passed tense. "You know I never loved someone like that, I hope I can find it someday." Nicole confessed. Fox gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you will and whoever he is he'll be real lucky to have such a girl like you."

"Thank you." She said embracing him. When she let go she stood up and gave a small yawn. "Well Fox I had a nice day with you, now it's getting late so I should probably be on my way if I am to find a taxi." She said walking to the door. "Oh yeah well... I just want to thank you for listening." He said putting his hands in his pockets.

"No problem... your a sweet man Fox and I hope you find peace... you deserve it." She said as she stood on her tip toes and gave him a kiss on both cheeks. "Au revoir." She said reaching for the door knob. "Au revoir." He said as he watched her leave the room.

***

Theresa sat on her bed clutching her pillow. She had gotten back to the apartment, prepared for bed like normal but when she walked into her room she had burst into tears. She didn't know what brought it on, it just seemed to happen.

Theresa had the urge to call her mother for comfort but it was obviously too late, it was 4 in the morning. Theresa venomously wiped at her tears and reached for the phone. She dialed the number furiously and waited for an answer. "Hello?" Came a tired voice from the other line.

Theresa took in a deep breath before she spoke. "Hi... Ethan I need a favor." "Theresa?" Whispered a shocked Ethan he hadn't heard from or seen Theresa in months. He had actually been surprised when he would think of her. "Who is it Ethan?" Asked an exhausted Gwen. "It's a friend of mine." He said looking down at her hoping that she would go back to sleep.

"Well tell whoever it is to call back later, its late." "I can't honey... it's important, now go back to sleep I promise I'll only be a minute." Ethan got off his bed and made his way into his bathroom so that he wouldn't disturb Gwen. When he was safely in his bathroom with the door closed he put the phone back to his ear. "Theresa what are you doing calling at this time of night." "I just needed a favor can you help or not?" Asked Theresa, annoyance clearly etching her voice.

"What happened to you Theresa where are you?" Asked Ethan sitting on the toilet. "I can't talk long I'm calling long distance." "Where are you calling from?" "From Paris, now can you help me or not?" Asked Theresa, losing her patience. "Theresa don't worry about the bill... tell me what are you doing in Paris?" Theresa sighed she didn't want to get into it.

"I needed to get away can I just leave it at that." Theresa said rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, she had such deep feelings for Ethan but somehow she had moved on just a little when she had gotten closer to Fox... when she realized that she loved him. "No you can't leave at that... now tell me what's going on what was it that you needed to get away from? Was it me? I don't understand why you need my help?"

Theresa laughed. "So many questions Mr. Lawyer." "Yes well... Theresa this call has me concerned." "There is no need to worry I'm as fine as I'll ever be." "What does that mean? Come on Theresa stop avoiding my questions... tell me why you're really in Paris." "I told you I just had to get away... after Fox's death I just couldn't... I just couldn't... I wasn't coping well so... I left." 'When did Fox die? Where was I when this happened?'

"I'm speechless..." Said Ethan. "How did... did he die?" Asked Ethan rubbing his forehead in confusion. Theresa gave a shaky sigh. "We were in LA when it happened... we were headed back to the apartment when we went off a cliff... we were lucky we got onto a ledge before the car crashed into the ocean... Fox... he died in the hospital." Ethan could hear Theresa's voice crack on the line.

"I'm sorry Theresa... I never thought..." Ethan sighed. Theresa had almost died, he couldn't believe it. He felt this great emotion of concern and love flow over him but pushed it aside as quickly as it had come. He was married to Gwen and he had sworn that he loved her and not Theresa.

"Ok I'll try to help you Theresa... what is it that you want from me?" "I just want a number." She said simply. "A number?" 'Was that it?' "Who's number do you need Theresa?" He asked with a sigh. "Alistair's." "Alistair's!" He said in shock. "Why do you need his number?" "I just need to ask him a few questions." "A few questions? What could you possibly ask Alistair for?" "I just need to find out a few things about Fox?" "Your confusing me Theresa, why, if Fox is dead do you need to ask Alistair about him." "Oh Ethan... it's such a long story and I don't have enough time to get into it."

"Theresa..." "Just give me the damn number Ethan!" Theresa practically yelled over the phone. Ethan sighed and finally gave in giving her the number. "Thank you Ethan now if you don't mind I have a phone call to make." Said Theresa hanging up leaving Ethan staring at the phone.

***

Theresa after hanging up on Ethan dialed Alistair's number. She waited for the sound of the answering machine, she planned on just leaving a message for Alistair to call back but was surprised when a frustrated voice answered. "What is it?" Said Alistair. "Alistair... I... this is Theresa." Alistair leaned back a smile breaking out onto his face. "Ah... Theresa... what causes you to call at such an early hour?"

"Well I had a few questions for you." She said, sounding braver then she did a few minutes before. "And what might these questions be?" He asked folding his hands in front of him. "Well I wanted to now where you buried Fox I was planning on visiting his grave." 'Everything was falling into place.' Alistair smirked. "Well I made arrangements for Fox to be flown to Paris and he was buried in this beautiful plot in the countryside." He said.

"The countryside? In Paris? That's great." Said Theresa. She was going to finally be able to visit Fox's grave sooner then she had planned. "Oh... how so?" Asked Alistair acting curious. "Well I'm in Paris." Said Theresa too excited to realize that she had just fed herself to the wolves.

"Well... what and extraordinary coincidence." Said Alistair. "Well since you obviously don't know the countryside that well I will send a cab to pick you up and take you there in the morning." He said snickering to himself. "Oh... thank you Alistair." "It's no problem it's just so disappointing, considering the circumstances." He said but his meaning was totally different from what Theresa intended. "Thank you so much." Said Theresa hanging up the phone.

"No thank you Theresa, thanks to your little phone call you make my plan all the more easier." He said laughing to himself.

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A/N: Ok what do you think? I hope you liked it. Please review *gives puppy dog face* pleeeaaassse review.