It's been a while but here we are, the newest chapter of Alice in wonderland!!! As you know, I own none of these characters and I am not making any profit off this, otherwise I could have a copy of shadow hearts of my own and then get shadow hearts two as soon as it comes out. Now where did sis leave our poor Halley again???
-kitty.
Alice in wonderland.
_chapter 16???_
[Halley's pov, the bedroom before dawn]
I felt a lump in my throat. My body was stiff, of course, another part of my anatomy was extra stiff. You could see me standing at attention under the sheets! I got worse as the minutes passed, because Chris snuggled into me. A light groan passed my lips. I hadn't got a drop of sleep with my girlfriend in here beside me, how do couples do it? How do they fight off the urges to ravish their partner then and there without losing an ounce of sleep? That's all that was in my head, the thought of me towering over her form, grinding my hips against hers in a primal rhythm…oh god just the thought is making me hurt…it's gotten so bad my erection is sore!
"Mmmm,"
I looked down at her face, she seems so peaceful, so happy in her dream, I don't want to disturb her while she's at peace. But what can she be dreaming about?
"Halley…."
She's dreaming about me? What am I doing that's so good?
"Don't stop…."
Don't stop what? Come on wench spill it!
"You're so…"
So what? I'm so what? What am I doing?
"Harder!"
Harder? How can I get harder thanks to you? Damnit woman, don't get so close otherwise I will have you right here, right now!
""Don't stop making love to me!"
Making love? What the fuck is she? A chick- wait, forget I asked that one, it's a stupid question…Oh well at least one of my questions are answered. I'm so what Chris? Well?
I must be good in her dreams, otherwise she wouldn't look as satisfied as she is right now!
Well she's dreaming about what I'm thinking about, so why not have a little taste? Yes, just a little peek…
[Normal POV in the throne room.]
Leon leaned forward to face Keith, "I'm tellin Yoush, Joachim is a queer!"
"So?" Maria said grumpily, "I know plenty of homosexuals and they are all lovely people."
"Sho? I'm jush shayin that he ish, or I fink he ish!"
Keith closed his eyes. He could imagine Joachim wearing an outfit you'd picture Margarete in, truly disturbing. Keith was the only one who knew of Joachim's profession, a wrestler. And the fact that he's bisexual. Yet Joachim's twin was relentless, and pissed off his face so, "Keef! Ish he gaaaaay or naaght!?"
"Leeeooon!" Maria yelled throwing a pillow at her older brother's head. "Shut up!"
"I'm jush shayin!" Leon put his hands up defensively, swaying slightly as he did so. Keith downed a whole bottle of wine in one go. Sighing he staggered up to his feet and dropped to his knees pulling two roses out of nowhere.
"Fuck. Here he goes again!" Maria cried out putting her hands over her ears.
"No not that old pershon'sh shong!" Leon screamed.
"You're giving me too many things, lately, you're all I need and more. You smiled at me and said, don't get me wrong I love you but does that mean I have to meet your father? When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said no, I don't think life is quite that simple. When you walk away you don't hear me say please oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight it's hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before."
"Holy crap! It's different!!! And cool sounding!!!" Maria shouted over the butchering of a pretty decent song.
(A/N: I don't own these lyrics. It's simple and clean, the theme to Kingdom hearts one!! The only squaresoft game I'll play! Squall calls himself Leon now, he's trying to be like Leon!!!!)
Keith continued, bats also coming out of thin air and circling him, "The daily things that keep us all busy, are confusing me, that's when you came to me and said, Wish I could prove I love you, but does that mean I have to walk on water. When we are older you'll understand it's enough when I say so, and maybe some things are that simple. When you walk away you don't hear me say please, oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight. It's hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before."
Silence enveloped the room when Keith finished and the roses and bats vanished as mysteriously as they appeared.
"Sho, whaaaadddyaaa fiinnk?" Keith slurred sauntering back to his chair. Leon clapped like a seal while Maria turned around and looked at Margarete in horror. "Why haven't you spoken sis?"
Margarete uncrossed her legs and opened her mouth and began to speak, in the loudest, most common, French accent you will ever hear. But for the author's sake, we will be using proper English. "Because, I'm too pissed to remember to cover up my commoner roots!"
"What the hell? When did Keith's wife become so common?" Came a voice from the doorway.
"I've always been common, but I never was too drunk to forget to cover up that until now!"
Everybody turned to face the new guest. And there he was, a vision of spandex and dreadlocks.
"Joachim! Are you GAAAAAY???" Leon shouted running up and hugging his twin.
"No, unlike you I'm straight!" Joachim smirked, "So, anybody even slightly sober in this room to have a proper talk with? Or can I just get pissed too?"
Just as he finished a beer bottle was hurled at his head, he being used to that move caught it like, uh hold on, :snaps fingers:, THAT!
"I heard singing. Was it Keith?" He asked opening the bottle. "Sounded good, the song I mean, not Keith, better than that, I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, crap."
(A/N: I do not own that evil devil song that the devil and his little cronies sing on TV. Thanks be to god!)
[Back in Halley's house of love.]
Halley lay flat on his back catching his breath. "You were no virgin Chris."
"But I'm, I only did what I did in my dream." She replied.
"So, was I as good in real life as I was in the dream?" He asked.
"Better."
"In real life of the dream?"
"The dream- REAL LIFE YOU DOLT!!!"
[Zoozie's house of love.]
"Meiuan. No please put the vibrator down, no help…DEHUAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!! SSSAAAAAAVVVEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
For the sake of the children, I dare not go into the scene that followed.
[The honeymooners.]
"Wait a minute!" Yuri yelled, "Baby on the way? What did you mean by that?"
"When did I say that?" Alice said reading her book.
"At dinner, you told me not to be acting like that at the table because we have a baby on the way and you didn't want it to have me as a bad influence!" Yuri said.
"You only realized what I said now?" Alice said with disbelief, "You are so slow!"
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"You SO are!"
"So, what did you mean?"
"I'm pregnant."
"Oh sweet merciful…..Oh sweet damnation!"
It is at this point Yuri faints in true drama queen style…
"Yuri? Yuri? Oh for crying out loud! Get up you lazy fuck!"
It is then Mrs. Hyuga kicks her husband in the stomach making him squeak.
[Meanwhile downstairs…]
Keith, Joachim and Leon are having a competition involving swinging from the chandeliers. Margarete is passed out on the sofa, Maria is throwing up and the moldy skeleton that Margarete is convinced perves on her in the bathtub is refereeing the contest between the Valentine brothers.
"I'm going faster!" Leon shouted.
"I'm going higher!" Joachim yelled back.
Keith smirked and called back to his older brothers, "Yeah, well like in most other things, I'm going to last longer!"
It was then a small bat flew in and crashed hitting the younger vampire in the face.
"Abel!" He shouted.
Said bat fell down on top of skellie (That's what we'll call the skeleton, or maybe bill…Yeah, Bill sounds better…) Well, anyways, Abel transformed while landing, crushing Skellie under his weight because he is fat. In fact so fat that the others (he's the first born by the way…) call him 'Porky Abel'., 'Abel', or just 'Porky'.
"So, what did I miss?" He said, a stupid look plastering his stupid fat face.
= End chapter.
The very last chapter will have Le Fin (eez over!) at the end. And me telling you to piss off telling me to continue with it because EEZ OVER!!! But that won't be there yet. Not for another two chappies at least!
*Random spraff!*
I'm the 2nd youngest in my Family, here are me and my siblings in the order of birth:
John. Vincent. Maria. Me. Darkness. (As if I'd give me and Darkness' real names away without her permission. Wha? Kay sis.)
John, Vincent, Maria, Caroline, Daphne.
Anyways, Vincent's nickname for John is 'Porky John.' That's where I got Abel's nickname from. Vincent's nickname is Je-hobo. Why? Well, my family is catholic (gasp!) And Vincent changed to the Jehovas witnesses. No offence to any of yous out there but, we call him that to piss him off and we say he spits shit out of the side of his Je-hole. Well actually it's John who says that. Maria's nickname is fu-fu, because she's a little bitch…you know bitch is a female dog and what we use it for every day, Me and Darkness have evaded any such nicknames and we have no nicknames for the others otherwise we'd get beat up, well I called Maria mushroom head when I was smaller because she had that pudding bowl haircut. And my brothers called her dearth Vader…. Yeah…good times that…
*End random spraff*
Yuri: You? Catholic?
Yeah, what about it?
Alice: My god, the world, it ends!
Jus' 'cause I'm not well, devout like Father O'biggot over there, :Points to mangled corpse of James #1:, doesn't mean I'm not one. Oh husband beating one. Well back to the story, what did you think of Halley? He kinda sounded like a Hentai, didn't he? And what did you think of Joachim's introduction? 'And there he was, a vision of spandex and dreadlocks.'
Look at his picture, then read my intro for him! I am sooo right!!! I was looking at the picture for ages looking for a suitable humorous but realistic intro.
Yuri: You catholic?
My god, you are slow Yuri!
Yuri: Me? Slow? Why say me slow?
Because, slow, you are, he that fuses.
Alice: You do a shit impersonation of Yoda.
I know, but the little green dude rocks. That's why I'm so fond of Roger, he reminds me of Yoda!
Roger: I do?
:Nods:
Roger: Embark on dangerous journey, you will. Hee hee, I do! I'm off to make a light saber!
Make me one too, while yer at it!
Roger: Make light saber for you I shall!
Yeeee!! Let's paint roger green! Then he'll be Yoda for real!!!
Alice: How much sugar did she get today?
Yuri: A lot. Kitty? Catholic?
Alice: Ah, get over it! See, he's not stupid, just can't remember worth shit!
Why does Yuri squeak here but doesn't in the game when he's hit?
Alice: Oh he did squeak in the game too, but everybody just said it was me and that I'm the squeaky one. But now you know the truth!! It's my husband!
Really? Hahaha Yuri, or should I say….SQUEEKY!!!! Oh, it sucks to be you!!!
Yuri: Why you…. :gets ready to attack.:
Alice: :hits him with a bible:
Yuri: :squeaks:
Alice: Now you're married to me, I'm the boss! And you're my byatch!
Yuri: :Terrified: Yes master… :bows:
Alice: What? I spent time chatting to Foxie!
:Over happy: Leave a review and the dentist will stay away from me with his nasty evil demon drill!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! :Bounces off walls:
Alice: CAAAAAAROLIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!
Yes miss ma'am, I mean Missus ma'am , I mean Missus Hyuga, Alice…. :sweatdrops:
Darkness: God, somebody's hormonal! Who knew sis could pull off a remotely decent, long chapter?
