Disclaimer: Abuse only I suppose I could try therapy but believe it or not writing is my therapy.
Distribution: Ask me first, I'll more than likely say yes.
Steph's Babble: This story is a POV fic. In any given scene you will only know what is going on with one of the people in the scene. This fic features a lot of the cast and is set in August of 2001. Sorel is alive and in the hospital it's right after the bombing, so is Stavros, the two Luke's thing is going on, Angel is around, Sonny and Carly are separated, Nikolas is pretending to be with Helena and has ended his relationship with Gia, Emily is away at a rehabilitation center, Lucky is still under Helena's control, Alexis has just seen her mother's necklace, Skye is in town with secrets of her own, etc.
I'm going to post the first three chapters to see if there is interest in this story. Some readers like my stories better when I don't just focus on Jason and Elizabeth, and although they are in this one, the story takes precedence over any one potential couple in this one. So if you want to read more please let me know. The first couple of chapters may move a little slow, but it picks up and I had more characters in as we go.
So let me know what you think.
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Betrayal, Loyalty, and Love
Chapter 1
~Warehouse~
Sonny Corinthos was sitting behind his desk at his temporary office in the warehouse. He had files open on his desk, files that had needed his attention for weeks, files that he was still ignoring. He had let business slide in the last month and it still was. He couldn't concentrate on work, either the legitimate side or the illegitimate side and that was dangerous.
Getting up from his chair he moved to look out the small window. If he were honest with himself he'd have to admit that he'd been letting things slide for longer than a few weeks. He'd been unfocused since the shooting last winter. Bringing his foot up to the edge of the table he put his elbow on his knee, and rested his chin on his hand. His thinker pose is what Carly called it. He tried to banish her from his thoughts, but she was never far away from them especially now.
"I'm pregnant Sonny, you're going to be a daddy."
Seeing her at the hospital earlier tonight, surrounded by the newborns in the nursery, he'd felt both pain and hope. She was trying to give him the one thing he wanted most in the world, and at the same time terrified him the most too … a baby.
Sighing heavily he moved back to the desk to sit in his chair. This pregnancy if in fact she was pregnant, was starting out the same, as the first one had. He would be having a baby with a woman he didn't respect, or even like.
The first time around he had been drawn to Carly, but now when he looked at her, he only felt the anger of looking at another woman who had betrayed him. It seemed that the women he loved always betrayed him, only they said they did it because they loved him.
"Don't you understand Sonny?" Brenda pleaded, tears streaming down her face. "You wouldn't talk to me, you kept lying to me, and I just wanted to hear the truth. I needed you to be honest with me."
"Me be honest?" Sonny demanded. "You wore a wire to make me so honest that you could send me to jail." He was trying to control his anger, but he hadn't been this mad at someone since Deke, and the depth of his anger worried him.
"No, that's why I made sure that I would get the tape not the police. I would have never given it to them, I just wanted to know the truth. Sonny I love you."
"You love me?" Sonny repeated in disgust, turning away from her, pulling her clothes out of the dresser and flinging them at her. "You don't know what love is."
"Please Sonny," Brenda begged touching his back.
He whirled around grabbing her by the arms. "I let you in Brenda," he told her roughly. "Farther than anyone ever before, and you betrayed me," he shook her by the shoulders. "It's over." He let her go and she sank to the floor, he quickly turned to leave, afraid of what would happen if he would stay. He heard her call his name but he kept walking away from the one woman he'd ever loved, the woman who had betrayed him.
Sonny shook the memory away. Carly and him had started during a betrayal themselves, somehow it was only fitting that they end the same way. The night he'd betrayed Jason by sleeping with Carly he had been dealing with the hurt another woman had caused him.
Hannah. He couldn't help but shake his head in disgust at the memory of his onetime girlfriend. She was someone he had convinced himself he was in love with. She looked like Lily, and sometimes she acted like Brenda, and if he concentrated real hard, he could make himself believe that he was in love with her. He never had been, but he had cared about her, and trusted her, and in the end, the only reason she was there was to arrest him. When she found out he knew the truth about her, she said she wasn't going to turn him in, because she loved him too much. Love he snorted in disbelief.
He'd been reeling over Hannah and in so much pain that night, that he'd had an instant of clarity. He wanted to get everyone out of his life, that way no one could hurt him in the name of love again. But he knew that there was no way Jason would leave him. Then Carly had arrived, her normal abrasive self, she had started goading him, reeling herself over seeing Jason with Elizabeth. Suddenly he knew then, that there was a way to push Jason out of his life. He pushed Carly back and when she offered he took it. In that moment he didn't really want her, and she didn't want him, they just wanted to stop the pain they both felt and at the same time, inflict some unearned pain on the one person they loved the most…Jason.
God he had been so stupid. They had made a baby that night, one formed in anger and pain, but a baby. Now there may be another baby, this one conceived in love, but also by trickery and betrayal. Did betrayal equal love in the minds of women? Because it sure seemed like it to him.
"Yeah?" Sonny called when a knock sounded on the door.
Johnny opened the door. "Elizabeth Webber is here to see you."
Sonny nodded and got to his feet, while Johnny stepped aside letting her in. He hadn't seen her in weeks, and was surprised by the changes he saw in her. "Elizabeth."
"Thanks for seeing me Sonny," she crossed to the desk.
"What can I do for you?"
"Well," she stopped glancing back towards Johnny.
"No interruptions," Sonny told Johnny in dismissal. "Please sit." He studied her while she did. She had lost weight, weight she couldn't afford to lose. She'd tried to hide it with make-up but the dark circles under her eyes, showed the strain she was obviously under. Aware of his scrutiny, she started fiddling with the strap of a large black bag. "Are you okay Elizabeth?"
"Now that I'm here, I don't know what to say," she admitted.
"Have you had any problems with Sorel's men?" He tried to keep an eye on her because Jason asked him too. But he didn't have a guard on her full time, she had promised to come to him, if Jason wasn't in town, but he hadn't been reachable lately.
"No I think he's forgotten about me. He hasn't tried to talk to me for over a year." Elizabeth said quickly. "Besides with him in the hospital, I was hoping he wouldn't cause you anymore problems."
"He won't," Sonny said simply. He wasn't going to let things slide with Sorel anymore. Far too many people had been hurt, because he'd refused to finish things with Sorel. He looked at Elizabeth, she would've been Sorel's first victim if Jason hadn't gotten to her when he did. She would have also been his last, because Jason would have killed him immediately.
"I was at the hospital when you came in after the explosion," Elizabeth told him. "I was going to see how you were, but Carly was there and I didn't want to cause any more problems for you. Are you okay?" she gestured to the cut on his forehead.
"I'm fine, this is nothing," He dismissed her concern with a wave of his hand. He had a feeling she was working up to something, and since he had always respected and liked her, he was willing to give her all the time she needed.
"I'm glad," she took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology."
"Why?"
She looked him in the eye. "Because you were hurt, Emily was hurt, Zander was shot, Alexis and Carly were held hostage, because of Sorel, and I'm partially to blame for that."
Sonny moved around the desk to lean against it in front of her. "I'm confused. How is what Sorel did your fault?"
"The only reason Sorel was able to attack you, was because, he escaped from jail when Lucky set the fire," she admitted. "I knew Lucky was sick, but I wanted to help him, so I didn't think of the consequences."
"Lucky set the fire?" He was surprised that she'd admit that to him.
"Yes," Elizabeth sighed heavily then went on. "He's still under Helena's control. I knew that, I knew that he was capable of anything, but I agreed to keep it a secret." She got to her feet, to move around the small office. "It occurred to me tonight, that if we hadn't kept it a secret, Lucky would've been watched, and he wouldn't have been able to set the fire, so Sorel would still be in jail," she stopped behind the chair and looked at him. "So I'm sorry, I know it's not enough, but I am."
Sonny crossed his arms over his chest and thought about what she'd said. She hadn't said who the we were, but he was pretty sure one of them was Luke. He couldn't really blame her for being loyal to the Spencers', after all they were her family in a sense. "You didn't know what would happen, so it wasn't your fault. You were just trying to help someone you loved."
"That's it? You're not mad?"
"No," he smiled then showing off his dimples. "Like I said you were just trying to help Lucky. I don't agree with the way you did it, but I can understand your loyalty."
"I have to help him, I owe him so much," she went on softly. "But if someone had gotten killed and I could have prevented it…"
"Elizabeth," he interrupted her. "You didn't know what he was going to do, you didn't know he'd be that out of control."
"That's just it Sonny, I did know." She moved around the chair to sit again. "Lucky has been sliding more and more out of control for months now. At first, I wrote his irrational behavior off as jealousy over my relationship with Jason, because it was Jason that set him off the most. But after he attacked Jason on the docks with a knife, I realized that it was more."
"I thought you didn't believe Jason?" Sonny commented, remembering his own conversation with Jason.
~March 21, 2001~
Sonny waited until Carly disappeared upstairs before speaking. "What happened?"
Jason sat down slowly at the table. "Lucky Spencer came after me with a knife."
Sonny shook his head running a hand over his chin, this, was all he needed. "So did you take care of him?"
"Yeah but Elizabeth saw me."
"How'd that happen?" Sonny demanded. The last thing he could afford to happen was Jason going to jail.
"I-I don't know," he paused. "She was there, she was at the docks, she yelled my name and I stopped."
"Well that's good," Sonny got up from the table and headed to the bar.
"But the way she looked at me," Jason went on.
He could hear the pain in Jason's voice and blocked it out. "Lucky in the hospital?"
"Probably."
"All right," Sonny headed back to the table with a drink. "Have somebody call.
Jason looked at him in surprise. "But she thinks I went after him."
Sonny sat wearily, he didn't have time for this, not now. "If Lucky pulled a knife on you…"
"Lucky did pull a knife on me." Jason snapped.
"Listen to me," Sonny ordered. "No woman should see this, but no harm was done outside of that right?"
Jason shook his head. "I'm not sure."
Sonny heard the doubt in his voice and that worried him. "I don't need you distracted right now."
"She looked at me like she didn't even know me." Jason went on softly, as if not hearing Sonny at all.
"Jason," Sonny snapped. He waited until Jason looked at him, before going on. "You need to focus. That package Sorel sent could have been a bomb right?" He couldn't believe he had to explain where the real danger was to Jason of all people. That Sorel was more important than some kid and his girlfriend.
"Yes I got that."
Sonny was glad that Jason seemed to be listening to him again. Now they could focus on the real problem, which was Sorel. He ignored the blood on Jason's hands and went on.
Remembering that conversation now, Sonny felt anger and disgust with himself. He had been a total bastard to Jason, something his friend hadn't deserved. Jason had come to him, to talk to him as a friend, and for the first time in years, he had treated him like an employee. He'd ignored Jason's problems, concern, and pain, to concentrate on his own. He shook his head with a frown. Why did Jason put up with him?
"I don't know if you'll believe this," Elizabeth was saying. "But a part of me knew all along that Jason didn't attack Lucky. That the fight happened just the way Jason said it did. I just couldn't admit that out loud. If I admitted it, I would also have to admit that Lucky was in trouble, that he'd changed, and I wasn't ready to see that."
Sonny shrugged.
"Like I said, I don't expect you to believe me. I mean why should you? You're Jason's best friend so I'm sure you know how awful I was to him before he left." She stopped and began to twist the strap of the purse in her hands.
Sonny thought about it, if Jason had tried to talk to him, he had probably blown him off. From her actions, it must have been pretty bad, and as usual he hadn't listened.
"But haven't you ever wanted something to be true, even if it hurt, because if it wasn't true it would hurt so much more?"
"I'm pregnant."
Carly's claim entered his head. "Yeah," He agreed moving to the window again.
"I had to believe Lucky even though doubting Jason hurt like hell. Because if not and Lucky really did attack Jason with a knife, everything would have changed."
"So you decided to betray Jason instead," Sonny said coldly, he could hear her sharp intake of breath at his words, but it was too late to call them back. Out of everyone in Jason's life, he had been hoping that she would be the one person who wouldn't hurt him deliberately, and now she had.
Elizabeth was quiet for a long time. "You won't understand this, you don't know what Lucky did for me. He basically gave me back my life, I had to believe in him."
Sonny kept his back to her. He had no right to be mad at her for letting Jason down, for choosing someone else, he was a lot of things but a hypocrite wasn't one of them, at least he hoped he wasn't. "Whatever. You chose to believe the boy you were in love with, over a man who never lied to you, or hurt you."
"I-I," she paused and when she went on her voice was so soft that he could barely hear it. "I do love Lucky, and so I tried to believe him. I had to because I owe him, I owe him because, when I was fifteen I was raped."
Sonny turned around to face her, surprised by her admission, but she wasn't looking at him.
"Lucky found me after it happened, and he basically put me back together again. When I was afraid to sleep, he'd sleep on my floor. When I needed to have blood tests, he would be there for me," she kept her eyes on her hands. "I didn't go to the police like I should have, I felt dirty and ashamed. But Lucky kept telling me I didn't do anything wrong, he kept coming around, helping me."
He moved back to the desk but didn't say anything. He hated what had happened to her, she was so small, and so young when it happened, he couldn't help but feeling angry over it. He also couldn't help but think of his mother, Adela, he knew there were times that Deke had raped her, but she had never said the words. To her it was her wifely duty, whether she wanted to or not. But rape was still rape.
"I didn't realize how much I had built my life around Lucky until he was gone." A tear slipped down her cheek. "I realized that all the friends I had, were Lucky's too, and they missed him as well. Suddenly I was alone, I had to walk by myself again, go to places by myself, all the decisions about where I would go to school and what classes to take, were all mine," she looked up at him. "It's not that he told me what to do, because he didn't, not then. He would make suggestions but leave the decisions to me, and would support me no matter what I decided. I normally agreed with him so it was never an issue. But suddenly he was gone and I was drowning in the loss of him."
"So you replaced him with Jason?"
Her eyes flashed in anger at that remark. "No I never did that. Jason and I became friends at first, because I was missing Lucky, and he was missing Michael and Robin. In a lot of ways we were in the same place. I can't tell you the number of times I would have a fight with someone, normally Nikolas, and find out later, that he'd had a similar fight with either you or Carly, sometimes both. He was my first friend in Port Charles that was totally outside of Lucky. So that made it safe for me to really talk to him about Lucky. He would just listen and wouldn't try to make me feel better, but in the end he always did."
"Jason's like that," Sonny agreed. "You feel like you can tell him anything."
"I think it's his face, the way he looks at you when you talk, and you know that he is really listening," Elizabeth said softly. "For that minute while you're talking to him nothing else matters to him, but what you say."
He saw her expression soften, when she spoke about Jason, some of the worry seemed to disappear, from her eyes, only to be replaced by regret.
"When he was shot, he needed me, and for the first time I felt like I was giving something back to our friendship. I had been letting go of Lucky, slowly, but I had been, but Jason pulled me out of my grief because I had to focus on him. By the time he was better and I looked around at the world again, I realized that I had crossed a line inside of myself. Even though I would always love and miss Lucky, I had put him in the past. I'd let him go without realizing it."
"But then Lucky came back and you didn't need Jason anymore," Sonny observed. He didn't know why he was pushing her, what he was hoping to get out of her, but he couldn't seem to stop it.
"No," she snapped. "Jason had left town, before Lucky ever returned."
Sonny nodded feeling the sting of her unspoken words. Jason had left because of what you and Carly did to him. "I'm sorry."
She sighed. "Lucky came back and all was right with the world, only it wasn't."
"The brainwashing?"
"Partly, also because he had been dead for over a year, and we changed during our time apart. For him the change wasn't as drastic, except for the brainwashing, because he knew I was alive. But I thought he was dead, so it was different for me."
"And now you know he's still brainwashed."
"Yes, and it's hard to know what he will do. Luke, Nikolas, Laura and I are trying to help him, but it's been hard." She explained.
"I still don't know why you're telling me this. Did you need my help, or Jason's?" It was the only reason he could think of that she would seek him out.
"No. Jason is the last person who should help," she said adamantly. "But he is why I'm here."
"What about him?"
"I overheard Carly tonight, she was saying that once Jason came back to town, he would make you understand and you would forgive her."
Sonny rubbed his forehead, she never quit. "That's just Carly, but why should it matter to you, if Jason comes back, you're engaged to Lucky."
She flinched but went on. "Jason can't come back to Port Charles. That's why I'm here, to ask you to keep Jason away."
Sonny looked at her in surprise.
"Wait," Elizabeth held up her hand before he could speak. "But first I need you to tell me something. I don't need to know where he is or anything, I just need to know if he's alive. When he didn't come back after Emily was hurt, I figured he was doing something to help you. I don't need you to tell me if I'm right or wrong, I just need to know if he's alright."
"He's fine."
She closed her eyes and he could see some of the tension disappear from her face. He should have realized she'd be worried when Jason didn't come back when Emily got hurt.
"Thank you for telling me. So will you keep him away?"
"Why should I? This is his hometown, how can you ask me to do that to him?" Sonny asked, he hated to think he had been wrong about her.
"I don't want too, don't you know I'd like nothing more in this world than to see him? I'm a selfish person Sonny, I would love for him to be back, so I could lean on him through all of this with Lucky. And he'd let me, too, he'd let me hurt him again and again. For once I'm trying not to be selfish, because he'd want more from me, and I couldn't give it to him even though I'd wa…" Her voice trailed off.
"Because you're in love with Lucky?" Sonny pressed he caught her slip of the tongue before she stopped herself, and wondered what it could mean for Jason. Looking at things again, he knew Jason was in love with her. He only wished he knew how she felt about him, because, it could change everything.
"Yes because I love Lucky." Her hesitation was brief but he noticed it. "Also Jason sets Lucky off. He's close to the edge as it is, seeing Jason again, there's no telling what he might do," she paused as if debating with herself before going on. "Tonight he ended things with me, because he thinks he's going to hurt me."
"Has he hurt you?" Sonny demanded.
"No, he finally realizes that he has been doing some bad things, but he can't remember what they are. He wants me away from him, to protect me," she tucked her hair behind her ear. "But it won't work."
"Elizabeth if he is dangerous you should stay away from him." Sonny told her.
"I can't," she argued. "I tried to explain things to you. That I have to help him because I owe him, because of what he did for me. Even though he ended things tonight, he'll still come to me, he can't help himself. So I have to help him when he does."
She looked so tired then, he knew she wasn't much more than twenty but at that moment she looked so much older. He realized then that he was staring at loyalty. And wasn't loyalty the one thing he prided over everything else?
"Jason brings out his anger. I know that Jason can take care of himself, and he could handle Lucky. But Lucky isn't alone in this, Helena is controlling him and there is no telling what he will do. Luke has disappeared, and a part of Lucky thinks he did something to him. I know him and Luke had issues, but he loved Luke, and he hurt him anyway. If he sees Jason though," she stopped wearily.
"So you're just trying to help protect the man you love."
She looked up at him, her eyes locking on his. The look she gave him was firm and strong. "I would do anything to protect the man I'm in love with."
Sonny leaned back in his chair, her determination seemed different then, almost as if. "Jason comes and goes as he pleases, I can't stop him if he wants to come home."
"Please," she twisted the purse strap in her hands. "I'm probably worried about nothing, he probably won't come back, and even if he does, he won't want to see me."
"I thought you said you were worried about leaning on him," Sonny told her.
"Ego," she smiled slightly. "He asked me to go away with him, and I had to say no. I found out later that he left that same night."
Sonny hid his surprise at her words, thinking back to his birthday. Jason had looked upset when he arrived, even before he found out about the bomb. He pushed the memory away, trying to concentrate on what she was saying, he was missing something.
"For the first time, he didn't say goodbye to me, or leave me a message, so I guess our friendship is over now."
He could hear the sadness in her voice and felt guilty. He knew Jason didn't have the opportunity to tell her goodbye because he had went after Sorel's men immediately. He knew that, but he couldn't tell her that.
"I just don't want anyone getting hurt."
Sonny nodded. "I want you to come to me, at the first sign of trouble, promise me that you will."
"So you'll keep him safe? I mean away?" Elizabeth ignored his demand. "I couldn't handle it if something happened to him."
Again he had the feeling that sometimes when she was speaking she was talking about Jason, but letting him believe it was Lucky. "To who Lucky or Jason?"
"To either one," She picked up her purse.
"Because you love him."
"Yes I love him," she turned towards the door. "Thanks for seeing me."
Again her hesitation was brief, and in that instant all her little slips, during their conversation came back to him. Her hesitation when he asked about being in love with Lucky, the way she always said she loved him, she owed him. When she had said Jason would want more from her, and she had stopped herself from saying she wanted more too. She had said that she had to turn Jason down when he asked her to leave with him. Had too, not wanted too. The way she had opened herself up to him, not knowing if he would be mad at her over Sorel's escape, just to have him keep Jason away. The way she tried to explain her reasoning to get him to help her. "You'd do anything to keep him safe wouldn't you? Even staying away from him if you had too."
"I told you I'm in love with him," Her hand was on the doorknob.
"I was talking about Jason," Sonny pushed again.
Elizabeth turned around, the tears evident in her eyes, tears, she was refusing to let fall. "So was I," she said and then left.
Sonny sat back in his chair, surprised that she had admitted that to him. He was surprised that she had come to him at all. He could read her sincerity, she had resigned herself to staying with Lucky in repayment of a debt, she owed a boy, who didn't seem to exist anymore. Yet at the same time she was being loyal to Jason by trying to keep him safe.
She had betrayed Jason and his love, to keep him safe.
"Sonny I just wanted Sorel gone, I know I did it wrong, but you have to know I was trying to protect you, to protect our family. I love you."
He could remember Carly begging him to understand why she had turned him in. Was what she did, that much different than what Elizabeth was trying to do for Jason? Both women were trying to protect the man they loved, from being hurt, and had hurt them themselves in the process. How was it he could understand Elizabeth's choice and not Carly's? Was it because Elizabeth had done it to Jason and not him, or was it because she truly thought she had no choice but to do it, while Carly decided to betray him on her own?
He shoved that question away, why she did it didn't matter, she had done it. Elizabeth was walking a tightrope, and he wondered how good her balance was. He remembered how tired she already looked and was worried. "Johnny."
"Yeah Boss?" Johnny asked opening the door.
"Put Francis on Elizabeth, have him be discreet, she's not to know. Tell him to keep a close eye on her if Lucky Spencer is around her." Sonny ordered.
"Right away." Johnny backed out of the room.
Sonny moved to the window again, trying to decide what to do next. He knew exactly where Jason was now, he had finished with Sorel's men, so Sorel was alone now. The last time they had spoken, Jason had been angry with him, because of what had happened to Emily. But if he called him and told him to come home, Jason would.
He glanced at the phone, but should he? He knew how Jason felt about Elizabeth, and he now knew she felt the same about him, but did that really change anything? She was determined to help Lucky, and protect Jason, and for her to do that, they needed to be in separate towns. But who would protect her? He could keep her safe through guards, but could he help her heart?
"Everyone at 66 Harborview Road always tried to make my decisions for me, then Robin tried to make my decisions for me, you were the one person in my life who thought I could make my own decisions."
Jason's words from years ago came back to him. Now it was Elizabeth who was making a decision for him. She had admitted, not in so many words, but she had admitted that if Jason came back, she would turn to him. Sonny knew that no matter what she thought, Jason wouldn't turn her away either.
When she admitted to him that she was in love with Jason, she had put the whole decision of what to do on him. It didn't seem right that the only person who wasn't going to have a say in this decision was Jason.
Moving back to the desk he sat down. He could keep the truth from Jason, and keep him in the dark. Or he could risk him being hurt, and let him know what was going on and that Elizabeth needed him.
His hand hesitated over the receiver.
