Drabble
By spheeris1
Pairing: multiple…
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[Before]
In her dreams, she was chased by the deadly pictures of her future--running across floating platforms, soft flowers the color of a raven, mindless on top of the world--but now, in the happiness of a place that made perfect sense, Kanae let the warmth of this time wrap her up like a pair of secure arms...a lover, completely devoted to her, always in her heart and in her bed and in her hands...this lover took no face, neither male nor female, just there--a form without demanding and a love without bruising--Kanae lived her life like a shy debutante, walking down flights of marble stairs and cowering in the spotlight...eyes of her family, her friends expecting her to pose and posture and preen. Kanae wanted to run to the confines of her room, fall into leather-bound books or the watercolored images of old movies...she wanted to be in the black dress, dancing in the water fountain--free and sexual and confident--La Dolce Vita burning in her soul, barefoot on the sand of a million beaches throughout time eternal...
Kanae wanted to disappear.
Kanae wanted to set herself aflame with passion.
Kanae wanted to see the world through the eyes of a stranger.
To escape her mother's glare, her father's absence, her friends little games of dolls and houses--when would she ever be able to grow up and flee to the end of this world?
-
[Adults Don't Play]
Accidents happen every day...or so Miki tells himself as his car goes careening off the rain-slicked highway, the hood of supposed strong metal pushed upward like tin-foil by a tree trunk, the horn continuing to blare out like some demented warning signal--everyone, stay calm! no need to panic!
And so Miki stayed calm, his logical brain that has spent years figuring and tinkering tells him to remain sedate now that he is bleeding on the steering wheel, dying on the side of the road.
...and remembering two days earlier, like a film reel shown in reverse...
They talked about music. Then compared stopwatches, both of them somewhat shy and nervous. Talking of the past does that to people sometimes--it makes their skin crawl, as if someone is walking over their pre-destined graves.
And they talked late into the night, into the morning and Miki fell asleep. Very rude of him to drop off like that with a guest...but all things work out the way they should.
Miki awoke to find a head cushioned on his chest, hayseed gold hair and a hand splayed out over Miki's cotton t-shirt, nice and long fingers, perfect for playing a piano...
always comes back to that, the contrast of black and white, the contrast of two bodies against each other, the contrast of desire and desperation...
Miki felt his heart pounding throughout his body, thrumming with his life force and pouring it out like syrup onto his knees, his legs, his feet.
The windshield wipers moved back and forth, keeping in time with his erratic heartbeat. One, two...one, two...
Or 3/4 time. Or 4/4. Notes of his life scribbled down in blood.
this is the world of grown-ups and the world where no one lives forever--here, there is no such thing as eternity.
One day, Miki walked into a bookstore. And two hands reached for the same book, two voices apologized, two people suddenly recognized each other.
And the fingers stayed together longer than they should have.
'Do you still play the piano?' Mitsuru asked once, ever so softly. Miki turned the light off.
'That was when I was a child...I am an adult now. Adults don't play.'
-
[Hang It On You]
His hands, those of a warlock and a lover, put this curse on me that I put on you and you, in turn, take these malicious words into your heart, turning them into a war...
For once, it was not a planned thing. No strings that cannot be seen, pulling Anthy's arms one way and her legs another--a rope wrapped around her heart and forcing blood to move into her veins, forcing her to breathe and keep living though she might not want to...not this time, this time was simply this time.
Kanae, tumbling off of the Black Rose like a junkie dissolving from a hit, dropping to the floor and screaming--attacking shadows and fighting off invisible dangers--Anthy found her so unbearably delicate in that moment.
So easy to break, so easy to harm. Akio does that most times...and Anthy felt a sudden need to do the same.
Anthy tells herself that she does not hate Kanae, only herself for not being strong enough to break free and fly away--and Kanae is there, demented and rambling, a beautiful mess of a girl--easy to take from, easy to rip solace from...and Anthy needs some comfort, a kind her brother can never ever give her, going beyond physical...going beyond love or devotion...it is the kind this little golden bird can give to one tortured purple plume--a royal peacock in heat--
Be a star...
Anthy pulls her upward and looks into her wild eyes, eyes filled with pain and confusion. She takes time with buttons of a dead uniform. She weaves her fingers through sweaty hair of blonde.
Be an altar...
Anthy loves the feeling of her cold skin and her shuddering breath and her sharp nails. If Kanae fights, it is in her own twisted up mind. If Kanae struggles against this, it is too silent for Anthy to hear.
But then, right now, Anthy does not care.
And I will hang it on you...
Every place on her is soft to touch, every inch tastes like rich cream...and Anthy consumes as if starved, taking control over this body so like her own and yet so unlike it...they are both trapped in cages, both used and abused and somehow live for the punishment...Kanae's eyes gather clarity near the end, as her body rises up and accepts a wave of ecstasy--Anthy kisses her before leaving, candles lighting up as she goes.
-
[And Heaven Above Us]
Funny how dreams can get ripped away...
lights dancing spinning flashing and i see you there standing arms open and you say you'll love me till the end of time till the end of eternity till the end of everything and i cry because i've never heard those words before...and they are the only words i've ever wanted to hear
...and funny how devils are beautiful and angels are deceptive...
awaken in me this princess and kiss her lips and touch her virgin skin and grip her hand and make her mysterious body known--a land discovered and traveled upon, a place of dips and valleys and planes--and tell her that losing a country is worth it, losing a sense of self is all worth it
...and funny that I can see heaven above us, twinkling in the endless sky, beckoning me closer with every single lie...
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[Freedom]
Rose, trying, working, to show itself...
And Utena could hear it somewhere, past the spinning tires and burning metal and engine roar--she could hear the glass shatter and the walls fall down--she could feel her body grow hot, running too fast on dark pavement, her blood turned to fuel and her face becoming chrome...and Utena was racing against time itself, bracing for the inevitable slam of brakes--but they never came--only she came forward, pushing past sound and eternity, working around giants of rubber and giants of the past, carrying one but driving for two...each burning headlight, a rose of white...a Prince is escaping with the girl from the tower...Utena became Utena when the covering of pink slipped from her naked skin, revealing the real world upon her body and Anthy became Anthy as the wind of change stripped her body of that harmful bodice and the landscape shifted to allow them passage to the world beyond, to a place two roses can grow free...
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[Unnecessary]
...explanations will fall flat, you know...they don't matter now, not with the castle falling and a chained Prince once again hopping onto his steed and a fallen Prince shaking in fear...the how and the why and the who do not matter anymore, you know...those swords of hate, those weapons used to kill and cage--they are useless now, they cannot hurt anyone now--and all the clocks have stopped, time is meaningless in this moment...that pain will fade away and that love will grow, you know...fingers reaching for each other, struggling past unnatural hindrance and desperate for purchase--years and years, waiting to find this perfect hold...speaking is not necessary with us, you know...for a brief second, bliss is known before being stripped away and the only thought that can live after-wards is how all of this is so very unnecessary...
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[A Cut Above]
She pulls the string and waits around the corner...tug, tug and tug--toy, toy and toy...and that slithering snake of gold creates a path from her hand to Juri's miserable heart.
Fresh---
Those eyes are watching every move, stalking and lurking and stepping in the same places--polished brown leather shoes following, trailing like a blood-hound and yet there for the kill alone.
Unique---
And at night, charcoal blackness to cover her body skirting by the wall and to Juri's room, to listen to tortured sleeping and anguished dreams...and Shiori pulls back the blankets, placing thousands of orange rose petals on the sheets and pillows, over Juri's silk-covered body...'sweet-scented nightmares tonight, my love'...waking to be stained by the cruel sun...
This flower is a cut above the rest...
Juri awakens, skin cold and clutching her locket.
Shiori sleeps with the peace of the dead.
-
[End]
We've grown old and my time has ended and your time is ending--we can love fate for not tearing us apart ever again--it is letting us go together into another new world, another plane of existence, another realm to discover///
take my hand and don't be afraid, don't be afraid of the world where we will meet...
and you've seen the land, the sea, the sky and I've led myself along paths I never thought I would go down and we've watched the seasons come and go and come and go--each night, your hand in mine, like the past but oh so much better this time///
I've come all this way just to meet you...just to see you...
and I watch you slip away, a glittering star rising up and sparkling, I watch you ascend and spread out and I watch you become one with the universe and I know I will join you once again, for we are part of each other--till the end of time, we are meant to be, forever and ever and ever///
someday someday someday someday..............
..........we'll shine...........together.............
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[Within/Without]
Juri didn't want to be a prince, but it came naturally--like walking and talking, like independence and strength, like devotion and desire--the sword was in her hands from the day of her birth, the flower was placed upon her breast as she first opened her eyes.
Juri didn't want to be a prince, but she was one--she lived for nobility and she suffered torment--and even princes must fall sometimes, despite their best efforts...they stumble over the emotions of others, of their own heart...when they hit the ground, the whole world shakes.
Juri didn't want to be a prince, but she couldn't help it--watching tiny girls disappear due to foolish whims, watching *one* tiny girl disappear into the oblivion called hate--sometimes a prince cannot save the damsel, sometimes a prince can only save themselves...and they live with the shame always and always, wearing it 'round their royal necks.
Juri didn't want to be a prince, but then she was not the only one--others came before, others follow behind--soldiers marching with no destination in sight, only the taste of distant victory on their lips and kisses of princesses to send them along...and they all knew they would die, they knew that they would never ever get to come home.
Juri...broke free and ran...didn't...want to be a slave to a fantasy...want to be...alive and happy and content...a prince...can live outside the castle, can just be human...
But Juri is a prince, inside and out, within and without......
....in this world and that world....
.........for eternity...............
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[Garden of Eden]
just like a dream, you come to me...
More hands than just one person and fingers like feathers over differing shades of skin, crickets in the distance and breeze through the leaves, nighttime pierced by fireflies and gasps and anguished cries--not of agony--but of release...letting go of hate and pain and fear, replacing those hollow tombs with the honeyed air of pleasure...
and i do not know of your realness, only of your touches...
Tanned brown under ivory white and overlapped with creamy blonde, covered by the faint shimmer of gold-orange--no roses can compare to living and breathing flowers--the vines pull tight around them, shielding them from even this imaginary worlds eyes, protecting them even as they beg for less than gentle caresses...
and i do not know of your love, only of your lips against mine...
Kingdoms are shattered now, the stones of temples and towers tumbling as each cry echoes out, the walls of Jericho torn asunder not by trumpets, but by the aching moans of each girl--butterflies taking flight on the shimmering flutter of want and need mixed with despair and fear--a scent more potent than any musky perfume coating the glass of this cage...
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[Blood Like Water]
It doesn't matter what I want
That is what she tells herself, looking over her outfit and her hair, every day...every morning. All the things she wants, she can get with the tiniest turn of her wrist.
Except for this, except for this.
And it matters, but she'll pretend that it does not.
It doesn't matter if I cry
That is what she thinks, watching the games he plays and thinking back to a time when it was them alone in the world--no fawning girls or duels....she had found eternity back then, with him...only with him. But she refuses to sob like a little girl for something long gone--but she wishes she could.
Don't matter if I bleed
That is what she reminds herself of, whether a small child running from cruelty or a young woman running with swords, her life is meaningless without his presence in it. And she feels utterly meaningless now...always away, always sleeping somewhere new, always lying and deceiving...can't he see? Can't he see that without each other they are nothing at all?
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years
She does not know if this sadness is from losing him or that she never had him. She does not need to see pictures of the past, to mock her or to beg her to return. All she needs is those words from his lips, the ones that tell her that despite the changing of time and people and places---it is still just them, together...always...
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[Jumped]
/It was not something she was proud of/
Wandering streets late at night, steps slowing down outside this non de-script building...like all the others, but hiding something quite unlike all the others...inside brick and plaster, beyond varnished wood and seductive red curtains lives a soiled dove--a killer concubine--and she knows the power of rose petals on certain customers.
/but she goes anyway for she cannot help herself/
Ground up and burning like incense, wafting out into the darkness and pulling her in--just like that, just like that--her feet move without her consent...that's the way she likes it these days...up the stairs, into the room, watching from the wall--tortured gorgeous tangerine wallflower--watching thighs like moth wings open to the candlelight.
/and this is a future she did not foresee/
Touching a pulse point and feeling it throb like blood pumping, each heartbeat echoed in chest and neck, they've done this before--many, many times before--and who knows how many times in the past, covering it over with miracles and jealously, did they merely want to take from each other something they so needed...
Shiori loves this, she is the master and Juri the servant, but she does not have to scratch and claw her way to satisfaction--Juri gives it willingly, each time she comes, she gives a part of herself over to Shiori's mouth and Shiori devours it...
Juri walks away hours later, but in reality, she has never ever left that bed of tattered sheets--and she never ever will.
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END [for now…]
