Part II
Willow had already cheered up measurably by the time they entered the crowded coffeehouse. It had been so long since she and Buffy had spent time together. She hadn't realized how much she missed her best friend until they slipped back into the comfortable banter.
So that's what all of that weirdness with Tara was all about. You're just lonely. You needed a friend. That's why you feel all jealous and with the warm and tingly, and okay so maybe not exactly the same as Buffy. Cause, well, just ew'!
As they made their way through the tables toward the bar, Buffy chattered excitedly about recent Slayage while Willow laughed in all the right places at her friend's adventures.
"you should have been there Will, it was just like that time in the morgue when" but Willow didn't hear another word, her world frozen around a single point in the room. Tara. She was sitting at a table talking to another girl, a shy smile on her face. Which meant that she wasn't on a date, which meant that she had lied about her plans for the night. Why? She could have just said she didn't want to hang out with me. That she'd rather hang out with her hipper-than-me friends.
"Will?"
Buffy had finally realized that she was talking to herself and returned to find her friend frozen with a look of shock on her face. She followed her line of sight to find Tara sitting at a table near the back.
"Hey, isn't that Tara? Cool! She has a table." She said happily and walked toward the blonde witch.
"No. wait Buffy." But it was too late. The Slayer had already made her way to the blonde's table. Willow briefly considered sneaking out while Buffy's back was turned, but that would only make things more awkward in the long run. She willed herself to follow the Slayer.
"Hey Tara, do you mind if we sit with you guys? There's like a serious table imbalance happening tonight."
Tara looked absolutely terrified and Willow watched in horror as the blonde looked from her face to Buffy's to the anonymous girl.
"Um, h-hey B-Buffy." Tara's face was crimson with embarrassment, but Buffy seemed oblivious. "I-Is that okay with you R-Rachel?"
"Um, sure."
"Cool! Then I'll go get the coffees." Which left Willow standing beside the table wishing she could crawl under the floorboards.
Tara was still blushing furiously and Rachel was smiling, but obviously irritated by the intrusion.
Rachel. She knew this girl. They had English Comp together. She was a Junior, pretty with short-cropped black hair and a hip leather jacket. Willow suddenly felt awkward and foolish in her silly pink hello kitty t-shirt and cargo pants. So this was one of Tara's real friends. And she was cool. Not some hacker geek in a stupid fuzzy sweater. No wonder she kept Willow separated from her other friends. I'm not cool enough.
"Hi Rachel," Willow finally managed. The other girl smiled back.
"Hey. Willow right?"
"Yeah. Um, look, I'm sorry Tara. Buffy's just." But she couldn't think of anything to say. "We've got to go anyway. You know, the whole patrol thing. I mean" she groaned in embarrassment. "Whatever. I'll see you later." She turned abruptly and walked toward the counter muttering to herself, but was stopped by a hand on her arm.
"Willow."
It was Tara. Willow looked down at the girl's graceful hand on her arm. She couldn't bear to look into those blue eyes.
"Oh, hey Tara."
"Y-you don't have to go. You can sit with us. Really." Tara released her arm and Willow looked down at the floor. Still unable to meet her friend's gaze.
"No. We're good, really. We're all with the slayage tonight. Well, I mean, Buffy's with the slayage, I'm more with the go Buffy's," she raised her arms in a mock cheer, "and, well, more the staying-out-of-the-wayage."
The blonde's smile was pained.
"Willow"
"Hey, it's okay. Really" but then suddenly she was frustrated and embarrassed and almost angry. Which was strange because she had never felt anything like anger around the blonde. So, maybe it was more like hurt. Yes, definitely hurt. "But I just I thought you were going on a date. I mean, if you wanted to hang out with your cool other friends you could have told me"
Tara looked at her for a few moments in confusion as if she was trying to decide what to do. Or what to say. Willow watched with mounting panic as the blonde blinked slowly and took a deep breath.
"I-I am on a d-date Willow. With Rachel." she finally managed, her hand reaching out to gently clasp the redhead's arm once more.
"But"
Willow turned the statement over and over in her mind trying to make sense of it. Everything around her slowing to a stop until with an excruciating click it all fell into place.
"Oh!" she backed up abruptly pulling her arm away from Tara without meaning to. "Oh." And that was all that she could seem to say. Her brain locked in an infinite loop on Tara's last statement. She's on a date. With a girl. Date. Girl. She dates girls. Tara dates girls. Like a complicated equation she had been working on subconsciously for weeks and maybe months and well, probably years that had suddenly arrived at one simple solution. "Oh."
Stop saying that!
Tara looked as if she was going to burst into tears.
"I'm sorry Willow, I was g-going to tell you, but it never seemed like the right t-time what with all the d-demons and everything and"
"Hey guys, got the mochas!" Buffy appeared beside her with the two drinks. At least they're in to-go cups. This is definitely a to-go moment if ever a to-go moment there was.
"Um, hey Buff, maybe we should make with the patrol," Willow danced nervously between the two women unable to look at the blonde. "You know, kind of a best friends night to go. I mean seeing as how it's kinda late and all."
The Slayer gave her a suspicious but amused glance, "M'okay Will. Whatever you want, Best Friend." She ended with a broad smile for the redheaded witch and then turned to Tara. "guess we'll see you later then Tara."
The blonde witch managed a shy, painful smile as the Slayer turned to walk out.
"Willow"
But Willow couldn't bear to hear it. Whatever Tara had to say. It was all too much. She felt embarrassed enough as it was. And she wasn't even sure why.
"Hey, um, I'm sorry if we ruined your, uh, date or whatever. Cause, um, she seems nice and everything and cool, I mean much cooler than" me, she thought and somehow managed not to say out loud. "Sorry again for the babble. Um, I'll see you later. I guess." And then she turned to leave because she couldn't bear another second of this. But she heard it as she walked away, her name softly like a whisper, like a dream. "Be safe Willow."
****
Their mochas were cold. Her feet were cold. The tombstone she sat on was cold, which made her butt cold. Everything was cold. They had been sitting in the graveyard for over an hour and no action, no sign of anything strange or even interesting. And Buffy was getting edgy, pacing impatiently and rambling about Riley while Willow's own thoughts wandered.
Okay, so she was on a date. With a girl. With Rachel. I wonder if Rachel's a witch. Maybe they do spells together. Oh god, what if they do spells together? Powerful spells? Willow blushed furiously at the memory of casting with the blonde witch. The intensity of it, the strength of the connection. What if they're doing a spell right now? Tara doing a spell without me. With someone else.
"and Riley was all with the I'm gonna give birth to a three-headed demon baby'"
"Uh-huh," came the redhead's distracted reply.
But they're on a date so they're probably not doing spells. Which was some consolation for a few moments.
"Will?"
Yeah, they're probably not doing spells at all. They're probably doing something date-like. Something smoochie or and she felt the world catch fire at the thought of Tara kissing another girl. Tara kissing anyone with those lips-
"Will!"
"Huh?" The hacker pulled herself back from Tara-land to find the Slayer standing over her, hands on hips. "Oh, sorry, Buffy."
The Slayer sat down with a long sigh beside her best friend on the tombstone. Willow felt guilty immediately. They had spent so little time together in recent months and now that Buffy had finally made time for her, she was too distracted to enjoy it.
"It's okay, all this Riley babble is boring even me." She put her arm around the redhead. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I justI don't know." She sighed heavily and looked down at her hands. How could she explain what she didn't even understand.
"Is it Oz?"
"What? Oh. No." Which was strange. Willow realized that she hadn't thought about him in weeks. Since she had begun to hang out with Tara. In fact she hadn't really thought about anything at all. Except Tara. And she had been happier than she had ever felt in her life. Just thought of the blonde's shy smile made her feel warmer despite the chill.
"Well, that's good. So what's going on in Willow World?"
Yeah, what is up Rosenburg? What's wrong with you? You see Tara on a date with some other girl and you go all wiggy?
"Hey Buffy, sorry I'm late. Oh, hey Willow." Willow was surprised to find that she wasn't annoyed by Riley's intrusion. For the first time ever she felt relieved.
"Oh, hey Riley!" She averted her eyes as the Slayer greeted him with a passionate kiss and then took advantage of the moment to hop off the tombstone and pick up her bag. "I think I'm gonna head back to the room if that's okay."
"Oh, yeah. Do you want us to walk you back?"
"No. I'm okay. Really."
Buffy freed herself from her boyfriend's grip and walked over to the redhead.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yep. Fine. Really. You two have Slayage and smoochies and you know, the good stuff in life."
The redhead gave her a reassuring squeeze and then turned to leave, immediately dropping back into her reverie. A walk would be good. She needed time to think.
