...Ever wonder...
...where all those Yu-gi-oh characters go when they're not important in the
series anymore?
No, it's not the Shadow Realm.
It's worse.
The UNIMPORTANT CHARACTER HOME. *thunder strikes*
Our reporter MilleniumGirl has been sent to get the scoop on the characters
currently residing in the Unimportant Character Home, often referred to as
the Uch. Most of these characters are those not starring in the Virtual
World saga. Some are not starring at all.
MilleniumGirl: Yes, that's right, Mr. Unidentified narrator, I am indeed at the infamous Uch, ready to speak to some of the residents. And Bakura's going to bite my head off if I don't say this right now: I don't own Yu-gi- oh. There, happy?
Bakura: *thumbs up from across the room*
MG: Anyway. I am heading into the cafeteria to see who I can talk too. Aha, there's someone right now. Excuse me, excuse me, you two? *points to Weevil and Rex sitting at table and brandishes the microphone in their faces* What's it like not being in the series anymore?
Weevil: Well, we had our turn. I'm thinking other losers like Noah deserve the chance to be beaten by Yugi.
Rex: He's got a point. We've had our limelight.
Weevil: ...isn't it spotlight?
Rex: Wull, yeah, but you can use limelight too.
Weevil: But that's just stupid. What's a limelight?
Rex: How'm I supposed to know? It's just a saying, you stupid flea-bitten...
Weevil: *flattered* Well, yes, you could say that fleas find me a nice person...
MG and Rex: ...
Weevil: What?
Rex: Weirdo.
Weevil: GRRRR...
MG: Come now, boys, don't fight in front of the camera. Just let me finish my interview, and then you're free to rip each other apart.
Weevil and Rex: O.k. hurry it up.
MG: So. I hear you both have theme decks.
Weevil: Only the best!
Rex: Heck, we're theme people!
MG: *glances at Weevil's many bug accessories and Rex's dino gear* Uh-huh. You could say that again.
Rex: Heck, we're theme people!
MG: -_-U Riiiiight. So, what exactly do you do here?
Rex: Well, it's always fun to go find people like Pegasus who lost it all and rub it in their faces.
Weevil: Hyo hyo, very entertaining!
MG: Erm... o.k., what else do you do?
Rex: Duel. And fix our decks. There's plenty of time for that.
MG: Yeah, but you know you're never going to be dueling in the series anymore? Unless for some reason they decide to bring you back...
Weevil and Rex: T_T WAAAA!!! You're right, there's no point!!!
MG: *apologetically* Sorry, I didn't mean it like that...
Weevil: *wiping away tears* No, you're right. We have to face the fact that we are stuck here forever, eating lousy cafeteria food and endlessly trying to beef up our decks...
Rex: What's sad is that dinosaurs are extinct. Every time I think about that I start to feel all bad inside...
MG: ...
Weevil: You'll get used to him.
MG: *whispering* I really hope I'm not around long enough to "get used to him"... Weeeeellll, anything else you'd like to add before I move on?
Rex: *spots something happening by another table* Yeah. I'd like to add that there's so much exciting stuff happening here, that it makes it aaaaalll worth it.
MG: Really? Exciting as in...
Roba: *holding up finger* OWWWW!!! ONE OF THE PARADOX BROTHERS BIT ME!!!!
MG: Ah, I see. *walks over to Roba* What happened?
Roba's brother: The bald guy bit my big brother! BROTHERS! ATTACK!!!! *Roba's little brothers run screaming after Para*
MG: Uh.... What just happened?
Roba: *massaging finger* Oh nothing. It happens a lot.
Panik: Yeah. One time Pegasus came up and hit me over the head with a coffeepot. D'you remember that, Roba?
Roba: Oh yeah! I do! And that one time whats-her-face, Rebecca, flooded the bathroom? And she made her grandpa go in to save her teddy bear?
Panik: *laughing* Yeah... good times, good times...
MG: o_o; Ooookaay... so anyway, I got sent here to interview you guys. So, what's it like in the Uch?
Roba: Kinda fun. You don't have any worries.
Panik: Except maybe that Peggy'll give you a concussion.
Roba: *laughs*
MG:...
Panik: *sighs* You know, I've been here a looong time. I was only in, let's see here, one episode!
Roba: ...oh, that's too bad. I've been in quite a few. You know, it would be a sad day indeed when Yugi has to come here.
MG: I don't think he will.
Roba: Well, yeah, good point. *sips coffee*
MG: Is that a latte?
Roba: Yeah.
MG: Huh. Cool.
Roba: Uh-huh.
MG: -_-U All right, moving on. Hey, it's Evil Kaiba! Let's go say hi. *walks over* Hi! You're Kaiba's evil side, right?
Evil Kaiba: I AM THE REAL KAIBA!!!! And no, I'm not going to make my hair turn pink for you. I'm not some sort of circus freak. I AM SETO KAIBA!!!
MG: ...*walks away* Hi, you must be Marik's family!
Mr. Ishtar: How could you tell.
Mrs. Ishtar: ^^ Hello there! Can we help you?
Mr. Ishtar: How about not.
Mrs. Ishtar: *hits him and yells something in Egyptian* *to MG* Nice to meet you!
MG: Uh, yeah, nice to meet you too! *looks around* Say, Marik wouldn't happen to be around here, would he?
Mrs. Ishtar: ^^ Yep! He's over there at the refreshments!
Mr. Ishtar: Give his yami a kick for me if you see him, O.K.?
MG: Erm... sure. *walks over to Marik* Hey Marik! Long time no see!
Marik: Oh hey there MG! *sticks straw into cup* They have the best mochas... Here, try one on me.
MG: Oh no thanks! ^^ I just wanted to interview you!
Marik: Cool, do I win something?
MG: ...no. *something bumps into her legs* GAAAAHHH!!! *karate chop*
Bonz: ...Ow.
MG: Oh sorry! Didn't see you there!
Bonz: That's O.K. Could you get a cup down for me?
MG: Oh yeah, sure. *gets cup and hands it to Bonz* So, how's it going?
Bonz: *filling cup with pop* O.K., I guess. Sid and Zygore have Community Service for trying to rile up the old people in the Retirement Home next door.
MG: Oh. Oh! Hey! Pegasus! *runs over to Pegasus* Hey! So! How's it going!
Pegasus: You are a girl. Cecilia was a girl too. But I failed her. QUICKLY, RUN AWAY BEFORE I FAIL YOU TOO!
MG: Uh... it's O.K., you don't even know me.
Pegasus: ALL THE MORE REASON TO TRAP YOUR SOUL!! RUN AWAY! RUUUN AAAAWAAAAAAY!!!!!!! *runs off with arms in the air*
MG: ...
Bonz: *walks up behind MG* Now they have to pick up garbage with those pointy sticks. *takes sip of drink*
MG: Oh that's nice.
Lector: *taps MG on the shoulder* Excuse me, would you mind showing us the way to the bedrooms?
MG: Huh? Oh sorry, I don't live here; I'm just a report... Hey I know you! You're one of the Big 5!
Lector: That would be us, yes.
MG: *whips out microphone* Would you mind saying a few words about the Uch?
Lector: Well, we just moved here...
Krunk: And I've already had... *holds up fingers*... count 'em... FOUR LATTES!!!
Nesbit: You're not a character, are you?
MG: No, I just came to interview.
Nesbit: Oh. Are you in contact with any of the other characters?
MG: I sure am! ^^
Nesbit: ...so you know Noah?
MG: And Kaiba, and Gozaburo!
Johnson: And...
MG: Joey too!
Gangsley: Yeah? You do, huh? Well tell them all that we said, "Hi, you censored" *Bakura sticks "censored" label over what Gangsley said*
MG: o_O;; Um... Heeeeeey, you can't say that, kids might read this too, ya know!!
Bakura: *holding a labeler* Got it covered! Literally!
MG: Thanks, Bakura. Anyway... who's left to interview? *looks around* Oh look, it's Mai Valentine!
Mai: *putting on make-up* Yeah, that would be me.
MG: You're new here, aren't you? Can you tell me a few things about it?
Mai: *puts down compact* Well, you recognize a lot of people. That's for sure. I mean, just look over there! There's that loser I beat, and another loser I beat, and a loser I lost to...
MG: *spots a door* What's in that door?
Mai: Oh... that's the section for the REALLY unimportant characters. Like that kid that Mokuba stole star chips from, and that blonde kid named Sam who Pegasus instructed to beat Bandit Keith, and you catch my drift.
MG: Coach Morty, too?
Mai: Yep.
MG: Huh. Oh, there's Bandit Keith and Yugi's grandpa! I'm just gonna say hi to these two before I leave. *walks over* Hi there!
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Grandpa: Wheeee!!! *playing with napkin dispenser*
MG: So! It's been a long time since we've seen you, Keith!
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Shaadi: *walks over* Good day. *sits down with the other two* I am Shaadi.
MG: Yeah I know. I am a reporter. Just wanted to say hi.
Shaadi: ...you have spoken to the Chosen One? The Pharaoh Child?
MG: You mean Yugi? Yeah, I talk to him a lot!
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Grandpa: Believe in the Heart of the Cards!
Shaadi: *glances at Grandpa* He says that every five minutes. You are lucky that you are not stuck with him.
MG: Oh... well, yeah, I guess I am... *whispering and looking upward* Thank you, Yami Bakura...
Yakura: *walks by* You're welcome. Fool.
MG: o_O;; Scary. Um, thanks for the lively discussion, you three.
Shaadi: My pleasure.
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Grandpa: Lalalalalalala
So MilleniumGirl skirts around a rumble between Roba's little brothers and the Paradox brothers to the exit from the Uch. She realizes as she is leaving that many people have been left uninterviewed, but she was running out of time, not to mention patience. Outside, she almost tramples Noah's robotic dog Sam, wondering if any kind souls will review this story. She thanks the few that did last time from the bottom of her heart. She would also like to thank those who visit her site, and a special thanks to those who sign the guestbook. This has been another commentary from the unidentified narrator, and another fanfic by MilleniumGirl. Thank You.
Rare Hunters: HOW COME SHE DIDN'T INTERVIEW US???
END
MilleniumGirl: Yes, that's right, Mr. Unidentified narrator, I am indeed at the infamous Uch, ready to speak to some of the residents. And Bakura's going to bite my head off if I don't say this right now: I don't own Yu-gi- oh. There, happy?
Bakura: *thumbs up from across the room*
MG: Anyway. I am heading into the cafeteria to see who I can talk too. Aha, there's someone right now. Excuse me, excuse me, you two? *points to Weevil and Rex sitting at table and brandishes the microphone in their faces* What's it like not being in the series anymore?
Weevil: Well, we had our turn. I'm thinking other losers like Noah deserve the chance to be beaten by Yugi.
Rex: He's got a point. We've had our limelight.
Weevil: ...isn't it spotlight?
Rex: Wull, yeah, but you can use limelight too.
Weevil: But that's just stupid. What's a limelight?
Rex: How'm I supposed to know? It's just a saying, you stupid flea-bitten...
Weevil: *flattered* Well, yes, you could say that fleas find me a nice person...
MG and Rex: ...
Weevil: What?
Rex: Weirdo.
Weevil: GRRRR...
MG: Come now, boys, don't fight in front of the camera. Just let me finish my interview, and then you're free to rip each other apart.
Weevil and Rex: O.k. hurry it up.
MG: So. I hear you both have theme decks.
Weevil: Only the best!
Rex: Heck, we're theme people!
MG: *glances at Weevil's many bug accessories and Rex's dino gear* Uh-huh. You could say that again.
Rex: Heck, we're theme people!
MG: -_-U Riiiiight. So, what exactly do you do here?
Rex: Well, it's always fun to go find people like Pegasus who lost it all and rub it in their faces.
Weevil: Hyo hyo, very entertaining!
MG: Erm... o.k., what else do you do?
Rex: Duel. And fix our decks. There's plenty of time for that.
MG: Yeah, but you know you're never going to be dueling in the series anymore? Unless for some reason they decide to bring you back...
Weevil and Rex: T_T WAAAA!!! You're right, there's no point!!!
MG: *apologetically* Sorry, I didn't mean it like that...
Weevil: *wiping away tears* No, you're right. We have to face the fact that we are stuck here forever, eating lousy cafeteria food and endlessly trying to beef up our decks...
Rex: What's sad is that dinosaurs are extinct. Every time I think about that I start to feel all bad inside...
MG: ...
Weevil: You'll get used to him.
MG: *whispering* I really hope I'm not around long enough to "get used to him"... Weeeeellll, anything else you'd like to add before I move on?
Rex: *spots something happening by another table* Yeah. I'd like to add that there's so much exciting stuff happening here, that it makes it aaaaalll worth it.
MG: Really? Exciting as in...
Roba: *holding up finger* OWWWW!!! ONE OF THE PARADOX BROTHERS BIT ME!!!!
MG: Ah, I see. *walks over to Roba* What happened?
Roba's brother: The bald guy bit my big brother! BROTHERS! ATTACK!!!! *Roba's little brothers run screaming after Para*
MG: Uh.... What just happened?
Roba: *massaging finger* Oh nothing. It happens a lot.
Panik: Yeah. One time Pegasus came up and hit me over the head with a coffeepot. D'you remember that, Roba?
Roba: Oh yeah! I do! And that one time whats-her-face, Rebecca, flooded the bathroom? And she made her grandpa go in to save her teddy bear?
Panik: *laughing* Yeah... good times, good times...
MG: o_o; Ooookaay... so anyway, I got sent here to interview you guys. So, what's it like in the Uch?
Roba: Kinda fun. You don't have any worries.
Panik: Except maybe that Peggy'll give you a concussion.
Roba: *laughs*
MG:...
Panik: *sighs* You know, I've been here a looong time. I was only in, let's see here, one episode!
Roba: ...oh, that's too bad. I've been in quite a few. You know, it would be a sad day indeed when Yugi has to come here.
MG: I don't think he will.
Roba: Well, yeah, good point. *sips coffee*
MG: Is that a latte?
Roba: Yeah.
MG: Huh. Cool.
Roba: Uh-huh.
MG: -_-U All right, moving on. Hey, it's Evil Kaiba! Let's go say hi. *walks over* Hi! You're Kaiba's evil side, right?
Evil Kaiba: I AM THE REAL KAIBA!!!! And no, I'm not going to make my hair turn pink for you. I'm not some sort of circus freak. I AM SETO KAIBA!!!
MG: ...*walks away* Hi, you must be Marik's family!
Mr. Ishtar: How could you tell.
Mrs. Ishtar: ^^ Hello there! Can we help you?
Mr. Ishtar: How about not.
Mrs. Ishtar: *hits him and yells something in Egyptian* *to MG* Nice to meet you!
MG: Uh, yeah, nice to meet you too! *looks around* Say, Marik wouldn't happen to be around here, would he?
Mrs. Ishtar: ^^ Yep! He's over there at the refreshments!
Mr. Ishtar: Give his yami a kick for me if you see him, O.K.?
MG: Erm... sure. *walks over to Marik* Hey Marik! Long time no see!
Marik: Oh hey there MG! *sticks straw into cup* They have the best mochas... Here, try one on me.
MG: Oh no thanks! ^^ I just wanted to interview you!
Marik: Cool, do I win something?
MG: ...no. *something bumps into her legs* GAAAAHHH!!! *karate chop*
Bonz: ...Ow.
MG: Oh sorry! Didn't see you there!
Bonz: That's O.K. Could you get a cup down for me?
MG: Oh yeah, sure. *gets cup and hands it to Bonz* So, how's it going?
Bonz: *filling cup with pop* O.K., I guess. Sid and Zygore have Community Service for trying to rile up the old people in the Retirement Home next door.
MG: Oh. Oh! Hey! Pegasus! *runs over to Pegasus* Hey! So! How's it going!
Pegasus: You are a girl. Cecilia was a girl too. But I failed her. QUICKLY, RUN AWAY BEFORE I FAIL YOU TOO!
MG: Uh... it's O.K., you don't even know me.
Pegasus: ALL THE MORE REASON TO TRAP YOUR SOUL!! RUN AWAY! RUUUN AAAAWAAAAAAY!!!!!!! *runs off with arms in the air*
MG: ...
Bonz: *walks up behind MG* Now they have to pick up garbage with those pointy sticks. *takes sip of drink*
MG: Oh that's nice.
Lector: *taps MG on the shoulder* Excuse me, would you mind showing us the way to the bedrooms?
MG: Huh? Oh sorry, I don't live here; I'm just a report... Hey I know you! You're one of the Big 5!
Lector: That would be us, yes.
MG: *whips out microphone* Would you mind saying a few words about the Uch?
Lector: Well, we just moved here...
Krunk: And I've already had... *holds up fingers*... count 'em... FOUR LATTES!!!
Nesbit: You're not a character, are you?
MG: No, I just came to interview.
Nesbit: Oh. Are you in contact with any of the other characters?
MG: I sure am! ^^
Nesbit: ...so you know Noah?
MG: And Kaiba, and Gozaburo!
Johnson: And...
MG: Joey too!
Gangsley: Yeah? You do, huh? Well tell them all that we said, "Hi, you censored" *Bakura sticks "censored" label over what Gangsley said*
MG: o_O;; Um... Heeeeeey, you can't say that, kids might read this too, ya know!!
Bakura: *holding a labeler* Got it covered! Literally!
MG: Thanks, Bakura. Anyway... who's left to interview? *looks around* Oh look, it's Mai Valentine!
Mai: *putting on make-up* Yeah, that would be me.
MG: You're new here, aren't you? Can you tell me a few things about it?
Mai: *puts down compact* Well, you recognize a lot of people. That's for sure. I mean, just look over there! There's that loser I beat, and another loser I beat, and a loser I lost to...
MG: *spots a door* What's in that door?
Mai: Oh... that's the section for the REALLY unimportant characters. Like that kid that Mokuba stole star chips from, and that blonde kid named Sam who Pegasus instructed to beat Bandit Keith, and you catch my drift.
MG: Coach Morty, too?
Mai: Yep.
MG: Huh. Oh, there's Bandit Keith and Yugi's grandpa! I'm just gonna say hi to these two before I leave. *walks over* Hi there!
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Grandpa: Wheeee!!! *playing with napkin dispenser*
MG: So! It's been a long time since we've seen you, Keith!
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Shaadi: *walks over* Good day. *sits down with the other two* I am Shaadi.
MG: Yeah I know. I am a reporter. Just wanted to say hi.
Shaadi: ...you have spoken to the Chosen One? The Pharaoh Child?
MG: You mean Yugi? Yeah, I talk to him a lot!
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Grandpa: Believe in the Heart of the Cards!
Shaadi: *glances at Grandpa* He says that every five minutes. You are lucky that you are not stuck with him.
MG: Oh... well, yeah, I guess I am... *whispering and looking upward* Thank you, Yami Bakura...
Yakura: *walks by* You're welcome. Fool.
MG: o_O;; Scary. Um, thanks for the lively discussion, you three.
Shaadi: My pleasure.
Bandit Keith: Huh.
Grandpa: Lalalalalalala
So MilleniumGirl skirts around a rumble between Roba's little brothers and the Paradox brothers to the exit from the Uch. She realizes as she is leaving that many people have been left uninterviewed, but she was running out of time, not to mention patience. Outside, she almost tramples Noah's robotic dog Sam, wondering if any kind souls will review this story. She thanks the few that did last time from the bottom of her heart. She would also like to thank those who visit her site, and a special thanks to those who sign the guestbook. This has been another commentary from the unidentified narrator, and another fanfic by MilleniumGirl. Thank You.
Rare Hunters: HOW COME SHE DIDN'T INTERVIEW US???
END
