Thanks everyone for reading and leaving feedback! J
And the story continues in Tempus Fugit S7 (here on fanfiction.net) as well as Tempus Fugit Absolute Zero, which you can find on Different Colored Pens () at the Kitten, the Witch and the Bad Wardrobe.
Part VII - Conclusion
The stretching was worse this time. She felt as if she was being pulled apart and reassembled hastily, probably by the slacker guys who worked in the snack bar. And the cold she was shivering uncontrollably in the black that seemed to go on forever. Slowly, she became aware of her body. Weak knees, head pounding, heart racing everything shaking with the cold andnerves? Fear?
The world slowly came into focus and through a field of static she saw a laminate door in a familiar beige, carpeted hallway lit by fluorescent lights.
Dorms at UC Sunnydale, she thought absently.
She felt dizzy and sick, gasping for air as if she'd been running. A quick check revealed that her physical self was, in fact, intact even though she felt incomplete. Wrong. And there was something about this door. Even though it looked like every other door in every other dorm on campus it wasTara's.
And I'm gasping for air like I've been running. So I'm either running away from some big bad evilness or I've run all the way here. Which means I'm here.
She swallowed once and tried again to control her breathing. And if Tara was right that meant she was here. The here. That moment the spell and Willow's universe were circling in ever smaller orbits.
Okay, this has got to stop. I need to get back and she likes me and I definitely like her. Even if she doesn't know she likes me that much.she does. Or she will. Cause the kisses and the smileand, oh, the lights! Mood lights! And the kiss made them go all supernova. So
But, as her physics teacher loved to say, theory was so much different than practice. And a large part of herself still could not believe that someone as beautiful and perfect as the blonde would be interested in a quirky computer geek sidekick.
But the lights
She stood in front of the door for several minutes trying to find the courage to face Tara. Crying, upset Tara. And you made her all upset only, like, an hour ago with your poopheaded-ness in the coffeeshop. She shook her head in confusion for a moment. It had been years hadn't it? Since that terrible moment in the blonde's room? Years of shifting. Okay, well, weeks in one kind of time and probably hours in an another. It was all so confusing. But the important thing was the spell. Breaking it and returning to the present.
If this is the way to break the spell, she thought, her doubts returning.
But Tara had said it. Second chance.
Let Tara lead the way.
And there's still the door that you're not knocking on. It's gonna stay there closed until you find some guts somewhere and knock!
Willow wiped her palms on her jeans before reaching a shaky hand up to knock on the cold hard surface.
Okay, this is it. So don't screw it up, just stay calm and
"Willow?"
She felt the familiar warmth of rush at the sound of her name on the blonde's lips, felt the terrible chill of the spell recede slightly. But there was that subtle break in Tara's voice that cut at a place deep inside Willow. She was crying. Because of something I did.
Tara should never be in pain
Ever.
The redhead took a deep breath and began gently. "Hey Tar. Can I come in?" The blonde nodded and looked to the floor as she opened the door, her eyes, red-rimmed and swollen from crying.
Okay Rosenburg, this is it. Keep it short and well sweet.
"Tara I'm sorry aboutyou know, before," she fumbled. "I know it seemedI mean, I know I acted all with the monosyllabic non-touchy weirdness, but it's not what you think."
Tara still stood near the door, keeping several feet of distance between them, her arms closed tightly around herself. Against the world. Against me, the redhead thought with a frown.
"It's okay," the blonde began without raising her eyes, "I sh-should have" she paused and closed her eyes in frustration. "I sh-should have t-told you. You shouldn't have h-had to find out like that."
There were tears in the blonde's eyes and Willow felt her stomach turn over at the sight. Felt tears spring to her own eyes as her panic mounted. To distract herself, she let her eyes drift over the comforting contents of the blonde's room finally landing on an open book on the blonde's bed. A woodcut of Occum's Heart dominated the open page. Somehow, without any memory of the events, the blonde was circling her too. Tara's mind working on some deeper level to help Willow.
Breathe. Focus. Do this right and get out of the spell.
But what if she hates me now and I can't get it back?
"Why didn't you?" she finally managed and then remembered: her obsessive Oz babbling, and -my-friends-aren't-there-for-me rambling. When did she have a chance, she thought with bitterness. Everything she knew about Tara came from the device. The moments she had retrieved and recycled thanks to that demonic spell.
That spell that has you trapped here
Her eyes drifted over the engraving and finally back to Tara.
"Gee I don't know," Tara began with a forced smile, her tone uncharacteristically sarcastic. "I g-guess I thought you'd freak andn-not want me to touch you or something," she managed through a sob as she wiped away tears. "I justI c-couldn't stand n-not being friends with you Willow."
The redhead stood frozen in horror as Tara dissolved into quiet sobs, leaning back against the door for support. Her pain was palpable, the air in the room was thick with it and Willow felt the stretching begin somewhere.
No!
No to the stretchinghello, not done yet.
No. I won't. I won't
"No! I won't!" the blonde was now staring at her and Willow realized that the words had somehow escaped her mind and made it into the room between them. "W-won't evernot be your friend." And there was that f-word again. F is for friend, and for frown and for totally fucked! Oy vey! Did I just think that? "But, but I so did not come over here to talk about the friend wordbeing friendly or whatever." She looked up to find that Tara was frowning again, her forehead furrowed in deep lines.
You're doing it again! Short and sweet.
Let Tara lead the way
Willow replayed the blonde's statements in her mind finally settling on one statement.
She thinks I don't want her to touch me.
"Willow it's okay" the blonde began but was cut off as the redhead cleared the distance between them hugging Tara to her tightly. She felt the blonde become stiff in her arms and said a silent prayer to every goddess she could think of:
Please let me do this right. I can't hurt her anymore. It's killing me.
See, I knew you should have spent more time mapping this out instead of being all with the kisses and the fairy lights and
And at that moment she knew that it was no longer about the spell. She simply couldn't live with the knowledge any longer that the blonde didn't know how she felt about her. Because they were connected somewhere deep and undeniable and their separation was draining them both. Like the spell, Willow and Tara apart was an unnatural state.
"No it's not okay!" She mumbled into long blonde hair. "Because this is all wrong and I don't want you to not touch melike, every second of every day!"
The blonde grew still in her arms for several moments and then she felt the tentative touch of a hand on her back.
"Um, you know that's a double n-negative," Tara sniffed and mumbled into her shoulder. She could feel the blonde's words resonate through her chest.
"Yep." Willow was tempted to begin a desperate, panicked explanation, but somehow managed to keep her babbling impulse under control.
"S-so that m-makes it a.um, a p-positive?" Tara asked.
"Definitely," Willow murmured back and snuggled closer, sliding her cheek against the wet of Tara's tear-soaked skin. The blonde let out a tiny whimper and Willow pulled her closer. "Positively even."
They stood there for long minutes or hours or even days, time stretching and shrinking around their embrace as Willow held onto the blonde with everything she had.
"Willow, wh-what are youd-doing?" The redhead went rigid with shock immediately. She hadn't realized she was rubbing her cheek against the impossible soft of the blonde's. Her face flushed hot with embarrassment.
"Uh, sorry I was," the blonde pulled back gently until they were standing face to face. "um, touching you?"
Tara looked down with a frown, letting her hair fall into her face. "It's o-okayI mean, y-you don't haveto p-prove anything to methat you're okay with the whole g-gay thing."
The redhead reached out automatically to tuck blonde hair behind a perfect ear and then froze. Déjà vu. Don't have to prove anything And she had tucked Tara's hair behind one ear. And worse, the frown. Every thought and action rang out like echoes through time and space.
No.
This is the way it happened before. I can't
Change things.
Change everything.
"Okay, see, that's where you're wrong cause there is something I have to prove to you." Willow smiled and ducked her head to lock eyes with the blonde.
"What?" Tara sniffed and looked away.
The redhead sucked in an enormous breath and steeled herself for what was sure to be a disastrous admission. "That I'm totally in love with you, like, in the biggest way possible."
Blue eyes met her own with a piercing stare and Willow thought for a moment that she had succeeded. But then the blue became liquid and the blonde looked away. "No. That's notyou're s-straight and Oz and there's no w-waybecause I'm n-no good enough. I could never make you h-happy."
"You already make me happy," the redhead began and then paused. Because it all felt too much like that other moment in this room. Before. When she had argued her case and Tara had fallen deeper and deeper into herself. Away from Willow. Away from the absolute certainty of them. And she wasn't going to lose her again. "Okay, I'm gonna explain something and it's probably gonna come out all wrong, butokay, see, something's happened to me. Something really big and, well, basically what's happened is that I'm in this place all the time now where there's only you and me. Nobody else." She looked up finally to find that the blonde was studying her. Deep blue eyes assessing her carefully behind a curtain of blonde. She took another deep breath and felt the tears threaten, felt the terrible stretching begin. "You know, it's like one of those incredible dreamsand it's the most perfect thing ever except that I keep losing youand we're connected so it hurts." She choked on her words as the tears came freely and all of her rational arguments and reasons disappeared. "Every time. I mean, don't you feel it? The, the connectedness? And I don't want to keep reliving the pastI want, I want everything with you from now! This now!"
As her body was overtaken by huge racking sobs she felt cool fingers on her face pushing away the tears. "It's okay Willow. Shhhh. It's okay. I'm sorry." Then the blonde's arms encircling her, holding her fast. She buried her face in the everything of Tara, taking what she could from these last moments. The spell was so close.
Last chance.
"Tara I know you're in love with me," the redhead finally mumbled into the blonde's shoulder and felt her freeze in her arms. Willow pulled back slowly still holding tight to the blonde whose breathing was now labored and shallow as she once again hid behind her hair. The redhead reached a shaky hand to push the blonde hair behind one perfect ear. Blue eyes finally met green and blinked slowly before looking down.
"Since the first time I saw you," Without a hint of stutter.
Willow felt a ridiculous grin take over her face and felt the world grow lighter. Everything floating around this helium girl. This perfect point in time and space.
And the blonde was looking at her again with those eyes that didn't speak in hard sentences and judgmental pronouncements like all those others. Their blue was a gentle question. And she knew the answer now.
"I'm in love with you Tara Maclay. Forever. Okay?" A breath-taking smile wrote itself on the perfect line of those lips she knew by heart. "And I know we should have a long important talk about how totally ex Oz is and my definite-lack-of-straightness and maybe even plan a first technical type date but not at the Espresso Pump. I mean, I know we should and we will, but." She let her eyes drift over the exquisite pale lines of Tara's face and swallowed back her fear. "Can I just be kissing you now?"
Tara just stared at her for long moments and then without a sound moved slowly toward the redhead, bringing her lips so close Willow could feel the heat on her own mouth.
"Oh yes," she breathed finally and the redhead felt everything melt, felt an incredible silence extend around them. Like a spell. No echoes, just the brand new of this. She closed her eyes and heard herself moan somewhere as their lips brushed against each other lightly and then with more insistence. And this was a first kiss. Impossibly soft and warm and perfect. There was nothing before this moment.
She felt the blonde's lips retreat and whimpered her objection.
"It's so beautiful."
The redhead opened her eyes to find thousand of fairy lights hovering around the blonde's breathtaking smile. "The spell worked!"
Willow watched as the blonde drew her hand carefully through a cloud of lights. "I don't think it was the spell," she said gently and brought her hand up to trace the line of Tara's jaw. The blonde turned back to face her, the lights temporarily forgotten. "I think it's us," she continued lazily, bringing her fingers to trace perfect lips remembering Tara's first stolen kiss. She felt the blonde shiver under her touch and leaned in.
"Magic," Tara whispered and kissed her tracing her bottom lip with her tongue in a warm wet line. Willow opened herself to the incredible warm wet heat that was Tara and felt the universe stretch. Warm this time and soft. Like Tara. And then it dissolved.
****
There was no stretching this time, just the growing warmth and she was melting. Melting in wet and heat and soft. And she could feel the magic dissipating, fading around her, leaving her in this exquisite place of open mouths and hands andTara.
She smiled and pulled back gently.
"Tara is this" she struggled to find breath as she stared at the blonde's tousled hair, her bright red lips. "Did we have our first kiss tonight?"
The blonde smiled at her through lidded eyes and the world melted a little more. "Um, I think we're still having it.if that's okay."
Willow swallowed. "Oh wow, so totally okay," she murmured, studying the way the lights danced across the blonde's eyes bringing out different shades of blue. Cobalt and aquamarine. She would need a Dictionary of Blue and a world of time to describe it all.
Time. When is this? Because this didn't happen yet. Did it?
She checked her watch. 11:17. And it was the same day. The Espresso Pump. Rachel.
"Willow? Are you okay?" She returned her attention to clear blue eyes and felt the past slip farther away.
"Mm-hmm," she answered absently, mesmerized by the promise of the blonde's mouth. The spell she cast with that one word.
"You p-probably have to ch-check in with Buffy," the blonde stammered and bit her lip, a frown of disappointment and insecurity marring her beautiful face.
Buffy. That seemed familiar. Buffy was supposed to give her something. Something about a spell. And time. Wasn't she?
But Tara.
A stray fairy light floated between them, lighting up the perfect geometry of the blonde's face and Willow felt the past stretch and blur behind her, felt the pieces of the day slip together. The failed fairy light spell weeks ago. The Espresso Pump today. The epiphany. The run. This room. And their first kiss. The kiss that was everything. The kiss that wasmagic.
"It can wait," Willow said and leaned in, bringing her lips to Tara's to start it all over again.
Everything.
Now.
the end?