I walked up to my dormitory. Amy, Clarissa, and the other girl, Danielle
were sleeping. Bridgette was the only one missing. I walked over to my bed
and found my journal on my bed. How did that get there? I thought.
I looked over to the clock. 11. Typical. I slid into my bed hoping to get some sleep. No such thing of course. I decided to finish my homework instead. I got all my quill and parchment out and decided to start on my charms essay since that was easily my best subject.
I started on my essay but something wasn't right. Bridgette was the one who would never be late to anything. And it was 11:30 and she still wasn't here. I tried to ignore it and concentrate on my essay, but I just couldn't. I got my journal and again started to write.
There's always more underneath.
Underneath that plastered smile,
Underneath that cheery face.
Don't always expect the truth,
Because you're not always going to get it.
What's underneath that stuck-up attitude,
Nobdy knows,
But you.
When you finally explode,
From the secrets you kept,
From the secrets you let, control your life,
When you finally explode,
From the feelings you've locked up,
From the emotions bottled up,
What will you do then?
Can you not cover them up again?
With the same stuff you used before?
The same lies and cheats?
But no one will ever see you as the same person,
The same person you used to be,
Until you revealed the truth.
Until that day that you let it out,
Let go of what you grasped tightly.
Until you let go of your secrets.
Why are you afraid?
Why is anyone afraid?
Why am I afraid?
Everybody has secrets.
I closed the journal. That is a horrible journal entry, I thought. I drifted off to sleep slowly entering the chaotic world of me.
"Please Daddy! Please? Can we please just go outside and play? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"I'm sorry Lily, but Rose can't go out to play today. You know she's sick. She has to rest."
"Just for a little while?"
"No and that's my final answer."
I drooped my shoulders. It didn't work. It usually worked. He usually let us play outside. I walked up to our room to find Rose sitting on her bed as usual.
"Hey Rose, let's go out to play."
"But didn't Daddy say no?"
"No." I said quickly.
"Okay. I guess."
"Yay! Let's go!"
We ran out onto the front yard and we started to play tag.
BEEP BEEP!!
I looked up to find a car swerving on the road. Suddenly, the car came speeding toward me.
"LILY! WATCH OUT!!" Rose screamed. Rose came running towards me and pushed me.
SCREAM. CRASH. I rushed over to Rose.
"ROSE!? ROSE! WAKE UP ROSE!" I screamed. I cryed. "Don't leave me. Please." I whispered.
"What's going on out here?" My dad came running out of the house. He gasped. "Wh-What ha-hap-happened here?" His eyes burned up. I remembered his eyes the most. They no longer had their joyful bounce. They were hollow and cold. They burned with anger. I whimpered in fear.
"DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO COME PLAY OUTSIDE?!?! DIDN'T I?!?! ANSWER ME!"
"Yes." I said weakly. He raised his hand and slapped my face. He turned around to go back to the house. I raised my hand to my face. He actually slapped me. And then I ran. I ran away. Not knowing where I was going. I ran. When I ran, I felt like I was leaving my troubles behind. I cried and when I was finally tired, I sat down in a neighborhood I didn't know.
"What is this? Why are you here dearie?" an elderly lady asked me kindly.
"I-I just ran away."
"Come on dearie, let's go inside. I'll make you some soup."
"Okay." She held out her hand to me and I took it graciously.
"What's your name dearie?"
"Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily! Lily!!"
I jerked awake. "Huh?"
"Lily, can we talk?" asked Amy.
I looked over to the clock. 3:45. I yawned. I wiped my eyes away. I had been crying in my sleep. I quickly looked over to Bridgette's bed. She was there. Sleeping peacefully.
"Uh. yeah, sure."
We went to the common room.
"I wanted to say I am really sorry about the other day. I just didn't understand. I guess it was hard for me to accept everything. I never knew that your life was like that. Why didn't you tell us? Aren't we your friends? And another thing. Why don't you hang out with us anymore? It's like you're not one of us anymore. It's like you're someone else. A stranger."
I sighed. This could take a while, I thought.
"Okay. I should say I'm sorry too. I just kind of exploded. It's hard to keep my past from everyone. It gets lonely."
"But why? Why did you keep it from everyone Lily?"
"What do you think Amy? How do you think people would react if they knew my past? They would give me pity and their sympathy, or tease me. I don't want their sympathy. I didn't tell you guys because I was afraid. I was afraid that maybe, you guys, wouldn't want to be my friends with me if you knew the real me. So I covered myself with something else. Lies. I'm sorry for that too."
"Is that true? You thought that we wouldn't want to be your friends if we knew you're past? We're your friends. We would never do that to you."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I'll always be there for you, if you need to talk to me. I'm ready. You can tell me anything. Friends?" She stuck out her hand to shake. I smiled down at it.
"Friends." I said and instead of shaking her hand, I pulled her into a hug.
*****************
I didn't have what you would call the best sleep ever. I twisted and turned. I was sweating. I got so hot I decided to go down to the common room to cool off. When I got down, I realized I walked into a conversation with Amy and Lily.
"But why? Why did you keep it from everyone Lily?"
"What do you think Amy? How do you think people would react if they knew my past? They would give me pity and their sympathy, or tease me. I don't want their sympathy. I didn't tell you guys because I was afraid. I was afraid that maybe, you guys, wouldn't want to be my friends with me if you knew the real me. So I covered myself with something else. Lies. I'm sorry for that too."
"Is that true? You thought that we wouldn't want to be your friends if we knew you're past? We're your friends. We would never do that to you."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I'll always be there for you, if you need to talk to me. I'm ready. You can tell me anything. Friends?" Amy stuck out her hand and Lily said "Friends." And they hugged.
"I'm going to bed Lily. You coming?"
"No, I'll just stay here. You go ahead." I watched her stare at the fires. I decided I would try to apologize.
I cleared my throat. "Uh. Hello." I said timidly.
She looked up and her eyes that had been friendly turned full of hatred.
"What do you want Potter? Here to make a fool of me again?" She said icily.
"No. I wanted to apologize." I said defensively.
"Psh." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but it's a little late for that. Goodnight." She got up and went up to her dormitory. I sighed. I hadn't expected her to forgive me. I wouldn't have either. I sat down on a couch and slept down there.
******************
I went back to bed thinking, Who does he think he is? He expected me to forgive him? Yeah right. I went to bed getting a couple of hours of sleep.
"Lily! Wake up! Lily!"
I opened my eyes to find Amy with a smile on.
"Come on! Get ready!" We had gotten closer than ever from the night before.
"Alright, alright I'm going." I got up and got a blue tanktop and black baggy jeans on. I brushed my hair out and Amy and I went down to the Great Hall. I hadn't noticed the look of jealousy or the look of apology. Or the look of love.
*********************
I'm going to stop it here. I'm not kidding. I know it was kind of a crappy chapter but at least I updated a chapter. Please, please review. I'm begging you. Please!
-KitKatAS-
I looked over to the clock. 11. Typical. I slid into my bed hoping to get some sleep. No such thing of course. I decided to finish my homework instead. I got all my quill and parchment out and decided to start on my charms essay since that was easily my best subject.
I started on my essay but something wasn't right. Bridgette was the one who would never be late to anything. And it was 11:30 and she still wasn't here. I tried to ignore it and concentrate on my essay, but I just couldn't. I got my journal and again started to write.
There's always more underneath.
Underneath that plastered smile,
Underneath that cheery face.
Don't always expect the truth,
Because you're not always going to get it.
What's underneath that stuck-up attitude,
Nobdy knows,
But you.
When you finally explode,
From the secrets you kept,
From the secrets you let, control your life,
When you finally explode,
From the feelings you've locked up,
From the emotions bottled up,
What will you do then?
Can you not cover them up again?
With the same stuff you used before?
The same lies and cheats?
But no one will ever see you as the same person,
The same person you used to be,
Until you revealed the truth.
Until that day that you let it out,
Let go of what you grasped tightly.
Until you let go of your secrets.
Why are you afraid?
Why is anyone afraid?
Why am I afraid?
Everybody has secrets.
I closed the journal. That is a horrible journal entry, I thought. I drifted off to sleep slowly entering the chaotic world of me.
"Please Daddy! Please? Can we please just go outside and play? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"I'm sorry Lily, but Rose can't go out to play today. You know she's sick. She has to rest."
"Just for a little while?"
"No and that's my final answer."
I drooped my shoulders. It didn't work. It usually worked. He usually let us play outside. I walked up to our room to find Rose sitting on her bed as usual.
"Hey Rose, let's go out to play."
"But didn't Daddy say no?"
"No." I said quickly.
"Okay. I guess."
"Yay! Let's go!"
We ran out onto the front yard and we started to play tag.
BEEP BEEP!!
I looked up to find a car swerving on the road. Suddenly, the car came speeding toward me.
"LILY! WATCH OUT!!" Rose screamed. Rose came running towards me and pushed me.
SCREAM. CRASH. I rushed over to Rose.
"ROSE!? ROSE! WAKE UP ROSE!" I screamed. I cryed. "Don't leave me. Please." I whispered.
"What's going on out here?" My dad came running out of the house. He gasped. "Wh-What ha-hap-happened here?" His eyes burned up. I remembered his eyes the most. They no longer had their joyful bounce. They were hollow and cold. They burned with anger. I whimpered in fear.
"DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO COME PLAY OUTSIDE?!?! DIDN'T I?!?! ANSWER ME!"
"Yes." I said weakly. He raised his hand and slapped my face. He turned around to go back to the house. I raised my hand to my face. He actually slapped me. And then I ran. I ran away. Not knowing where I was going. I ran. When I ran, I felt like I was leaving my troubles behind. I cried and when I was finally tired, I sat down in a neighborhood I didn't know.
"What is this? Why are you here dearie?" an elderly lady asked me kindly.
"I-I just ran away."
"Come on dearie, let's go inside. I'll make you some soup."
"Okay." She held out her hand to me and I took it graciously.
"What's your name dearie?"
"Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily! Lily!!"
I jerked awake. "Huh?"
"Lily, can we talk?" asked Amy.
I looked over to the clock. 3:45. I yawned. I wiped my eyes away. I had been crying in my sleep. I quickly looked over to Bridgette's bed. She was there. Sleeping peacefully.
"Uh. yeah, sure."
We went to the common room.
"I wanted to say I am really sorry about the other day. I just didn't understand. I guess it was hard for me to accept everything. I never knew that your life was like that. Why didn't you tell us? Aren't we your friends? And another thing. Why don't you hang out with us anymore? It's like you're not one of us anymore. It's like you're someone else. A stranger."
I sighed. This could take a while, I thought.
"Okay. I should say I'm sorry too. I just kind of exploded. It's hard to keep my past from everyone. It gets lonely."
"But why? Why did you keep it from everyone Lily?"
"What do you think Amy? How do you think people would react if they knew my past? They would give me pity and their sympathy, or tease me. I don't want their sympathy. I didn't tell you guys because I was afraid. I was afraid that maybe, you guys, wouldn't want to be my friends with me if you knew the real me. So I covered myself with something else. Lies. I'm sorry for that too."
"Is that true? You thought that we wouldn't want to be your friends if we knew you're past? We're your friends. We would never do that to you."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I'll always be there for you, if you need to talk to me. I'm ready. You can tell me anything. Friends?" She stuck out her hand to shake. I smiled down at it.
"Friends." I said and instead of shaking her hand, I pulled her into a hug.
*****************
I didn't have what you would call the best sleep ever. I twisted and turned. I was sweating. I got so hot I decided to go down to the common room to cool off. When I got down, I realized I walked into a conversation with Amy and Lily.
"But why? Why did you keep it from everyone Lily?"
"What do you think Amy? How do you think people would react if they knew my past? They would give me pity and their sympathy, or tease me. I don't want their sympathy. I didn't tell you guys because I was afraid. I was afraid that maybe, you guys, wouldn't want to be my friends with me if you knew the real me. So I covered myself with something else. Lies. I'm sorry for that too."
"Is that true? You thought that we wouldn't want to be your friends if we knew you're past? We're your friends. We would never do that to you."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I'll always be there for you, if you need to talk to me. I'm ready. You can tell me anything. Friends?" Amy stuck out her hand and Lily said "Friends." And they hugged.
"I'm going to bed Lily. You coming?"
"No, I'll just stay here. You go ahead." I watched her stare at the fires. I decided I would try to apologize.
I cleared my throat. "Uh. Hello." I said timidly.
She looked up and her eyes that had been friendly turned full of hatred.
"What do you want Potter? Here to make a fool of me again?" She said icily.
"No. I wanted to apologize." I said defensively.
"Psh." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but it's a little late for that. Goodnight." She got up and went up to her dormitory. I sighed. I hadn't expected her to forgive me. I wouldn't have either. I sat down on a couch and slept down there.
******************
I went back to bed thinking, Who does he think he is? He expected me to forgive him? Yeah right. I went to bed getting a couple of hours of sleep.
"Lily! Wake up! Lily!"
I opened my eyes to find Amy with a smile on.
"Come on! Get ready!" We had gotten closer than ever from the night before.
"Alright, alright I'm going." I got up and got a blue tanktop and black baggy jeans on. I brushed my hair out and Amy and I went down to the Great Hall. I hadn't noticed the look of jealousy or the look of apology. Or the look of love.
*********************
I'm going to stop it here. I'm not kidding. I know it was kind of a crappy chapter but at least I updated a chapter. Please, please review. I'm begging you. Please!
-KitKatAS-