A/N: Ahhh, the plot begins! I'm writing as very fast as I can, so please
bear with me. Also, the newsies get a little weird in this one... brace
yourselves. Please R&R! ^Shout outs at the end!!^
**Disclaimer** Also, I do own Edward Knickerbotter, but I do not own Tibby's, the Hagelins, Les's candy, ANY Brittany Spear's CD, Cinnamon buns, Tyra Banks, or Paris Hilton. Thank you.
Tibby's is this cool restaurant that's right down the street from my house. It's about a ten-minute walk, unless the Hagelins have their dog out, because then you have to take the long way around. The Hagelins have a huge German shepherd, Tigger, who they insist is completely harmless, so they don't tie him up. Tigger is, in short, my sworn enemy. It's not my fault, the dog is evil. We've had a mutual hatred for each other ever since I was ten and tried to sell them candy bars, and ended up being chased down the street yelling, "Good doggie! I meant you were stupid and slobbering in a nice way! Good dog! Good dog!"
In hindsight, probably not a smart move to call him a good dog when he was attacking me.
But Tigger was nowhere in sight today (I think he went to the vet's, and it serves him right) and I was at Tibby's at precisely 5:03. And you know what else is cool? I found a wallet on my way there. It was just lying on the sidewalk right outside the door. At first I thought it was a trick, and someone was going to jump out and kick my butt while I bent over to pick it up. Don't ask my why I thought that. My friends call me paranoid, but I'm just cautious. It could happen.
After I managed to squat down without exposing my posterior, (not an easy thing, I'll tell you. I kinda had to turn my toes so they were facing completely outward, like a ballet dancer's, and slowly bend my knees while keeping my hips forward. Try it, it's hard! But then when I had grabbed the wallet, I stood up so fast that I fell over backwards and landed on my butt. So much for all my hard work.) Once I had casually brushed myself off and glanced around to make sure no one had seen my little excursion, I pushed open the door to Tibby's. Then I stopped, because it was a pull door. So I pulled it open and walked inside.
All my friends were already there. There were ten of us (eleven, if you count Davey's little brother Les). Jack, Davey, Mush, Blink, Spot, Itey, Skittery, Bumlets, Specs, and of course, my charming self. We all have code names from when we used to play spy when we were seven, and we never stopped using them. We've been friends forever, even though we don't remember how we met. Not even our parents remember, so there's probably a crazy story behind that too. Shame I can't tell it, but what can you do?
I joined them at our usual table. We eat at that same spot every time we go there, it might as well have a reserved sign on it. Not that there were tons of people waiting to sit down. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for us, Tibby's would go out of business.
After all hellos had been exchanged, I smiled my 'I-have-a-secret' smile. "Hey guys. Check out what I found."
"IS IT CANDY????" Les cried. The kid's mind was always centered on candy. Right now he had one of those ring-pops on his finger, a candy necklace around his neck, and he was sucking on a warhead, so his face was scrunched up really tight. I swear, that stuff is like crack for him.
Back to the story. We all looked at Les for approximately four point two seconds, and then everyone turned back to me.
"What is it Race?" Jack asked.
Not wanting to end my game so quickly, I thought for a second. "If you guys can guess what it is, then you can have it," I said finally.
"But what if we don't want it?" Skittery asked, looking up from his soup. He was always looking on the downside of things. He calls himself a realist. We just call him depressed. "What if it's a dirty tissue or a rock or a pen cap or a piece of poo-"
"A piece of poo?" Mush echoed. "I don't think I want a piece of poo. I have my own, thanks."
"-Or a fork or a beetle or a string or a diaper or a hair ball or a scrap of paper or a Brittany Spears CD-"
"HIT MY BABY ONE MORE TIME!" Specs yelled.
"- Or a piece of glass or a eraser-"
"AN eraser Skit. We must use proper English now, shall we?" Blink said in a rather sophisticated English accent.
"-Or a rag or a dead frog or a kitten-"
"Hey now, what do you have against kittens?" Davey asked.
"- Or AN empty bag (He looked at Blink while he said this.) Or a feather or a-"
"SKIT!" I hollered. Everyone turned to look at me. "You don't have to worry, because it's not any of those things."
Skittery looked quite taken aback, like he actually expected me to bring them a dead frog. "Well you can't blame me for wondering." He simply, then went back to eating his soup.
"So Race, what is it REALLY?" Spot asked.
"Well," I began. Everyone leaned forward. "I found... a hundred- dollar bill!"
"REALLY?" Bumlets cried.
"No," I said. Everyone looked rather disappointed, until I pointed out, "It's not like I would have shared it with you guys anyways." They perked up a little. "But I did find this wallet." I pulled it out for them to see.
"Hey Race, where did you find that?" Blink asked.
"I found it outside on the sidewalk," I said. "And it was not an easy thing to get either." I was about to go into my tale of how I picked it up, when Spot interrupted.
"Hey Race, you can't keep this." He said, looking at the wallet. "It belongs to Edward Knickerbotter."
Mush sucked in a huge gasp of air. "You mean you STOLE it?!?" he cried.
"No Mush, I found it, I already told you that."
"Oh, okay then." He looked at me sternly. "But you ARE going to give it back, right?" He put his face really close to mine, so it was only a few centimeters away. "RIGHT?"
"All right, all right, I'll give it back." I shouted, pushing him away. "Just calm down. Remember our talk about personal space?" He nodded. "What did we say?"
"You said that you and the space three feet around you is your space, and if any part of that space is violated by anyone other than Tyra Banks or Paris Hilton, then they will be struck down by a lightning bolt sent from the eternal being that watches over you."
"Very good Mush."
"CINNAMON BUN!"
"Huh? That wasn't part of the code of personal space."
"I didn't say it."
We both looked around for the speaker, until our eyes rested on Itey. His eyes were locked on Jack, who had been waiting at the counter. He had a paper plate with a giant cinnamon bun on it. It was one of the really big-super-huge-jumbo ones too, with extra icing and extra cinnamon. Lots of extra cinnamon. Itey's eyes were glazed over and he was drooling a little.
"Okay, so I figure we can all have a bite and then we can do rock paper scissors shoot to see who gets the extra..." Jack trailed off, looking at Itey with a mixed expression of amusement and awe.
Itey had snagged the plate with the bun on it and the plastic for that went with them too. He furiously shoved them into his mouth. Bun AND plate AND fork.
I calmly reached over and yanked the fork out of his mouth. It was too late to save the plate.
We all watched him for a few minutes as he gulped and slobbered and shoved with his fingertips. It was like a python attempting to eat a small pig.
"So, Edward Knickerbotter, huh?" I asked Spot, breaking the trace.
"Yup," he said, handing the wallet back to me. "Says he lives at 429 Mulberry Street."
I took it. "I'll return it tomorrow after school." I said.
"We'll go with you," Bumlets offered.
"YEA!" Mush said, getting up in my face again. "JUST to make sure you ACTUALLY give it back!"
I sighed. "Mush, what did we say about personal space again?"
"You said that you and the space three feet around you is your space, and..."
SHOUT OUTS: (my fave part)
Nani: Yea, I made Race weird... but not too weird! I could never do that to someone so hot.... Itey and Mush are the weird ones here. WOW you have your own fridge??? Lucky... Hope you liked this chapter!
Scout: WATTA YA MEAN YA DON'T LIKE PORK FRIED RICE!?!?!? Insane-o! Ne wayz, yea, u kno wats coming next and if I get bad reviews its all ur fault cuz u didn't tell me to change ne thing!!! Nlol jp cargando los titulares!
**Disclaimer** Also, I do own Edward Knickerbotter, but I do not own Tibby's, the Hagelins, Les's candy, ANY Brittany Spear's CD, Cinnamon buns, Tyra Banks, or Paris Hilton. Thank you.
Tibby's is this cool restaurant that's right down the street from my house. It's about a ten-minute walk, unless the Hagelins have their dog out, because then you have to take the long way around. The Hagelins have a huge German shepherd, Tigger, who they insist is completely harmless, so they don't tie him up. Tigger is, in short, my sworn enemy. It's not my fault, the dog is evil. We've had a mutual hatred for each other ever since I was ten and tried to sell them candy bars, and ended up being chased down the street yelling, "Good doggie! I meant you were stupid and slobbering in a nice way! Good dog! Good dog!"
In hindsight, probably not a smart move to call him a good dog when he was attacking me.
But Tigger was nowhere in sight today (I think he went to the vet's, and it serves him right) and I was at Tibby's at precisely 5:03. And you know what else is cool? I found a wallet on my way there. It was just lying on the sidewalk right outside the door. At first I thought it was a trick, and someone was going to jump out and kick my butt while I bent over to pick it up. Don't ask my why I thought that. My friends call me paranoid, but I'm just cautious. It could happen.
After I managed to squat down without exposing my posterior, (not an easy thing, I'll tell you. I kinda had to turn my toes so they were facing completely outward, like a ballet dancer's, and slowly bend my knees while keeping my hips forward. Try it, it's hard! But then when I had grabbed the wallet, I stood up so fast that I fell over backwards and landed on my butt. So much for all my hard work.) Once I had casually brushed myself off and glanced around to make sure no one had seen my little excursion, I pushed open the door to Tibby's. Then I stopped, because it was a pull door. So I pulled it open and walked inside.
All my friends were already there. There were ten of us (eleven, if you count Davey's little brother Les). Jack, Davey, Mush, Blink, Spot, Itey, Skittery, Bumlets, Specs, and of course, my charming self. We all have code names from when we used to play spy when we were seven, and we never stopped using them. We've been friends forever, even though we don't remember how we met. Not even our parents remember, so there's probably a crazy story behind that too. Shame I can't tell it, but what can you do?
I joined them at our usual table. We eat at that same spot every time we go there, it might as well have a reserved sign on it. Not that there were tons of people waiting to sit down. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for us, Tibby's would go out of business.
After all hellos had been exchanged, I smiled my 'I-have-a-secret' smile. "Hey guys. Check out what I found."
"IS IT CANDY????" Les cried. The kid's mind was always centered on candy. Right now he had one of those ring-pops on his finger, a candy necklace around his neck, and he was sucking on a warhead, so his face was scrunched up really tight. I swear, that stuff is like crack for him.
Back to the story. We all looked at Les for approximately four point two seconds, and then everyone turned back to me.
"What is it Race?" Jack asked.
Not wanting to end my game so quickly, I thought for a second. "If you guys can guess what it is, then you can have it," I said finally.
"But what if we don't want it?" Skittery asked, looking up from his soup. He was always looking on the downside of things. He calls himself a realist. We just call him depressed. "What if it's a dirty tissue or a rock or a pen cap or a piece of poo-"
"A piece of poo?" Mush echoed. "I don't think I want a piece of poo. I have my own, thanks."
"-Or a fork or a beetle or a string or a diaper or a hair ball or a scrap of paper or a Brittany Spears CD-"
"HIT MY BABY ONE MORE TIME!" Specs yelled.
"- Or a piece of glass or a eraser-"
"AN eraser Skit. We must use proper English now, shall we?" Blink said in a rather sophisticated English accent.
"-Or a rag or a dead frog or a kitten-"
"Hey now, what do you have against kittens?" Davey asked.
"- Or AN empty bag (He looked at Blink while he said this.) Or a feather or a-"
"SKIT!" I hollered. Everyone turned to look at me. "You don't have to worry, because it's not any of those things."
Skittery looked quite taken aback, like he actually expected me to bring them a dead frog. "Well you can't blame me for wondering." He simply, then went back to eating his soup.
"So Race, what is it REALLY?" Spot asked.
"Well," I began. Everyone leaned forward. "I found... a hundred- dollar bill!"
"REALLY?" Bumlets cried.
"No," I said. Everyone looked rather disappointed, until I pointed out, "It's not like I would have shared it with you guys anyways." They perked up a little. "But I did find this wallet." I pulled it out for them to see.
"Hey Race, where did you find that?" Blink asked.
"I found it outside on the sidewalk," I said. "And it was not an easy thing to get either." I was about to go into my tale of how I picked it up, when Spot interrupted.
"Hey Race, you can't keep this." He said, looking at the wallet. "It belongs to Edward Knickerbotter."
Mush sucked in a huge gasp of air. "You mean you STOLE it?!?" he cried.
"No Mush, I found it, I already told you that."
"Oh, okay then." He looked at me sternly. "But you ARE going to give it back, right?" He put his face really close to mine, so it was only a few centimeters away. "RIGHT?"
"All right, all right, I'll give it back." I shouted, pushing him away. "Just calm down. Remember our talk about personal space?" He nodded. "What did we say?"
"You said that you and the space three feet around you is your space, and if any part of that space is violated by anyone other than Tyra Banks or Paris Hilton, then they will be struck down by a lightning bolt sent from the eternal being that watches over you."
"Very good Mush."
"CINNAMON BUN!"
"Huh? That wasn't part of the code of personal space."
"I didn't say it."
We both looked around for the speaker, until our eyes rested on Itey. His eyes were locked on Jack, who had been waiting at the counter. He had a paper plate with a giant cinnamon bun on it. It was one of the really big-super-huge-jumbo ones too, with extra icing and extra cinnamon. Lots of extra cinnamon. Itey's eyes were glazed over and he was drooling a little.
"Okay, so I figure we can all have a bite and then we can do rock paper scissors shoot to see who gets the extra..." Jack trailed off, looking at Itey with a mixed expression of amusement and awe.
Itey had snagged the plate with the bun on it and the plastic for that went with them too. He furiously shoved them into his mouth. Bun AND plate AND fork.
I calmly reached over and yanked the fork out of his mouth. It was too late to save the plate.
We all watched him for a few minutes as he gulped and slobbered and shoved with his fingertips. It was like a python attempting to eat a small pig.
"So, Edward Knickerbotter, huh?" I asked Spot, breaking the trace.
"Yup," he said, handing the wallet back to me. "Says he lives at 429 Mulberry Street."
I took it. "I'll return it tomorrow after school." I said.
"We'll go with you," Bumlets offered.
"YEA!" Mush said, getting up in my face again. "JUST to make sure you ACTUALLY give it back!"
I sighed. "Mush, what did we say about personal space again?"
"You said that you and the space three feet around you is your space, and..."
SHOUT OUTS: (my fave part)
Nani: Yea, I made Race weird... but not too weird! I could never do that to someone so hot.... Itey and Mush are the weird ones here. WOW you have your own fridge??? Lucky... Hope you liked this chapter!
Scout: WATTA YA MEAN YA DON'T LIKE PORK FRIED RICE!?!?!? Insane-o! Ne wayz, yea, u kno wats coming next and if I get bad reviews its all ur fault cuz u didn't tell me to change ne thing!!! Nlol jp cargando los titulares!