Part 3 - Betrayal
An explosion of pain, caused by the bright light of the sun, hit her when she opened her eyes. Irina moaned softly and fell back into the pillow. She covered her eyes with her hand but the headache didn't subside.
Great, this was what she needed - a headache, due to a lack of sleep. She sat up slowly and managed to get out of the bed without making any noise. Jack was still sleeping and she didn't want him to wake up yet. First she had to find a way to deal with the situation.
They'd had sex in Panama a few months ago, but that had been different. She hadn't thought about her feelings for him... this time she had. Sex with emotions other than desire involved couldn't be good.
She showered quickly and pulled on jeans and a shirt. She was relieved to leave her room without any sign of Jack waking.
When she entered the living room, she looked at Sark who was still cuffed to the chair.
"Morning!" he greeted her. "I though you had forgotten me!"
Irina didn't comment, just freed him from the chair. After he got up, he rubbed his wrists.
"I'll be in the gym." She announced. "Would you mind freeing my body-guards?" She threw the key to the cellar door at him. "And bring me a coffee... twice as strong as normal. With two aspirin, please."
"Um... excuse my objection, but you shouldn't take aspirin in combination with caffeine."
"Just do what I told you to! No discussions or objections. I'm not in the mood for that today."
Irina spoke slowly and Sark knew better than to ignore this hidden threat in her voice.
"Sounds as if you had an exhausting night!" he said, his face emotionless, but his eyes sparkling with amusement. Irina lifted her eyes to the ceiling and turned around.
"You've got three minutes! If I don't have my coffee then, you will find yourself waking up in the hospital!"
"Understood!" He watched her leaving the room and grinned to himself. This was so Irina - she didn't react to any personal questions... she didn't even comment on speculations. Well, in this case speculations were unnecessary. He had seen the hickey on her neck.
But considering whom she had to thank for it, he thought it better to not provoke her today.
Irina yawned slightly when she entered her little gym. She wasn't even sure her head would allow her to do any exercises, but she would at least try.
She had to regain control over the situation. What situation - there is no situation, she reminded herself. Don't be stupid, you do not love Bristow - you never have.
She slammed her fist onto the punchbag, holding it to prevent it from hitting her in the face. She leaned her forehead against it and closed her eyes again.
Love was absolutely out of the question. He hated her, she hated him, they were enemies! He would not hesitate to shoot her given the chance.
She started when Sark entered the room loudly, putting the cup of coffee on the small table in the room.
"Here's your coffee. I've already freed the guards. Do you want them to take Bristow back down into the cellar room?"
"No..." Irina looked at him. "No, let him sleep. Just inform me when he wakes up!"
"As you wish..."
She watched him leave and went to the small table. Taking the cup of coffee into one hand and the aspirin into the other, she sat down on the floor. Yoga had always helped her to find herself, her goals, and most of all her strength again.
She swallowed the aspirin and drank the coffee in one gulp and then she closed her eyes to meditate.
~~~~
*** "Hi, I'm Laura... Laura Walker."
The first time I met Jack Bristow, I was truly relieved. This might sound insane now, since it was just a mission - no emotion involved. But just one day before my departure from Moskau to the US, where I was supposed to meet Jack Bristow, I had a conversation with another agent. She was about fifteen years older than me and had been sent to the same kind of job once. She had to marry a guy, German intelligence, and get information about the research he was working on. She told me that it had been the worst three years in her life. He had been unattractive and rude-mannered, not even charming.
After three years she had begged her handlers for extraction. She told me, that since that day, she had never slept with a man again... and had no intention to do so in the future. That man had destroyed every spark of romance or desire that had been in her heart.
I was so afraid. I had never considered this part of my mission. Marrying a man to access information included sex and intimacy, a thought that scared the hell out of me. Of course I've had sex before, but the thought of having to sleep with a man I truly hated for the next six or seven years was not very motivating.
When my handler showed me a picture of the man I would be introduced to the following evening, I was only a little relieved. At least he was handsome... but that did not exclude rude manners or a bad character. I wanted to like him at least a little bit... although it was paradox. Wanting to like the enemy.
When I then went to him to introduce myself, I was so overwhelmed by his charm that sometimes I had to remind myself about my mission. He treated me with respect and it took us four dates before he kissed me for the first time.
I will never forget that kiss. He had taken me home and I remember that we were joking about something that had happened that evening. We had been touching the whole time... you know those light touches on the arm, where the other one keeps thinking about whether it's coincidence or intentional.
Suddenly he got serious and just looked at me. "Laura, you're amazing. I've never met a woman with so much esprit and intelligence... and beauty!" And then he kissed me. It was one of those promising, sweet first kisses that make you feel weightless.
I only stopped trembling when I was up in my apartment. I knew that I shouldn't feel that way. He was just part of my mission and so I started to work on it. I asked my handlers for help. I was young and had not much experience in shutting out strong feelings like love. I had been naive to think that I could control feelings like love and passion that easily.
So I worked on it, just as I had worked on my mental strength. It was a hard training, but the many dark and hopeless situations my job brought that time, helped me to let mistrust win over love. At the end of the seven years I felt a deep sadness, a hole in my heart, but I was strong. I would be able to deal with it. And over the years I've come to believe that I never truly loved Jack Bristow. I had feelings for him because it was the only way to get through the years without it being a nightmare, but those feelings faded away after I was back in Russia suspected of treason and arrested. Over the years Jack Bristow has become no more than a face in my memory, a picture - at least that was what I thought. I couldn't have been more wrong. I buried my feelings for him deep within, because I knew that leaving him and Sydney, the only two people I had ever truly cared about, behind could break my heart and my so-long trained mental strength. I mustn't show those feelings, especially not to my handlers. If anyone had known about them, they would have used them to threaten and torture me.
Bury them so deep that even I couldn't find them was the only way to survive. But now, twenty-one years later, those feelings have resurfaced and they are stronger than ever before. I have no idea how to deal with them. I don't know if I can find the strength to bury them once again. I have to find a way, because I know if I don't, they're going to destroy me. ***
~~~~~
She opened her eyes widely, her body shaking. What had that flashback been? It seemed as if her past crashed onto her every time she closed her eyes lately. Usually Yoga helped her to regain her strength... this time she felt even weaker than before.
Her head felt a little better but the headache had not subsided completely. Irina got up and left her gym room. Instead of letting old memories invae her, she would take a look at the disk and its data.
She let herself sink onto the couch in living room, pulling the laptop onto her legs. She entered the commands to open the contents of the disk, but instead of the files an error sign appeared.
PLEASE INSERT DISK INTO FLOPPY DRIVE
"MR SARK!" She moaned and held her head. Her own yell made her feel as if her head was bursting.
"Yes? Is there any problem?" Sark showed up only ten seconds after she had called.
"Where is the disk?"
"What do you mean?" He looked at her and he seemed as if he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.
"The disk we retrieved yesterday! I had it here in the laptop... where is it?"
"I didn't even touch the laptop!" The man defended himself and Irina got up, stepping towards him.
"Stop playing games. I know you... I'm sure you've already made a deal with someone to sell it. So where is it?"
"Irina, I swear to god, I did not touch the disk!"
"Who else except for you could..." She cut herself off and caught her breath. The realization dawned on her and she had to inhale deeply. "Send the guards up to look for Bristow!" she ordered Sark in a sharp voice.
"Of course!" he hurried out of the room and just two minutes later she heard curses from upstairs. She sank back into the couch and held her head.
"Bastard!" she hissed. He hadn't been sleeping. He had waited for the right moment to escape.
"I'm truly sorry to have to tell you this, but..."
"Let me guess, he's gone!"
"Unfortunately, yeah..."
"Great!" she threw the laptop next to her onto the couch and got up. "Pack our stuff, we need to leave. This house will soon be overrun with CIA agents. We have four hours... at the most!"
"I understand!"
"And Sark..." She looked at him, her eyes gleaming like ice. "This is your fault! Don't you dare make another mistake like that again, understood?"
"Yes... I'm sorry!"
"Now let's get out of here!" She grabbed her laptop and hurried into her room to pack her most important things. When she searched for the weapon under her pillow she found a small note, written on a small sheet of paper.
"Don't be too angry with me. The disk just contains too much valuable information to be in the wrong hands.
- J. "
"Damn it!" She crumpled the note in her hands and clenched a fist. He was a fool to think that he could beat Irina Derevko in one of her own games. Wait, Jack Bristow, I will get revenge for that.
~*~*~*~
"We just got confirmation from out team leader." Kendall looked at Jack, obviously thinking about which way was the best to tell him. "The house is empty... no sign of Irina Derevko or one of her assets."
As Jack had expected. He hadn't been too rushed to inform the CIA where Irina Derevko's hideout was, in order to buy her some time to get away.
In fact, deep inside he was relieved that she had managed to escape... but of course he wouldn't show that to Kendall.
"What do you mean no sign? I was held there! It's only been six hours! There must be something!"
"I understand that you're angry, Jack, but she has erased all possible traces. At the moment it's a dead end. But I promise you we'll search this place with all possible high-tech equipment and trace every phone-call, internet connection or fingerprint!"
Jack watched Kendall walk away. He was sure Irina had already taken care of anything that could lead to her. For the moment she was safe... but for how long would that be?
An explosion of pain, caused by the bright light of the sun, hit her when she opened her eyes. Irina moaned softly and fell back into the pillow. She covered her eyes with her hand but the headache didn't subside.
Great, this was what she needed - a headache, due to a lack of sleep. She sat up slowly and managed to get out of the bed without making any noise. Jack was still sleeping and she didn't want him to wake up yet. First she had to find a way to deal with the situation.
They'd had sex in Panama a few months ago, but that had been different. She hadn't thought about her feelings for him... this time she had. Sex with emotions other than desire involved couldn't be good.
She showered quickly and pulled on jeans and a shirt. She was relieved to leave her room without any sign of Jack waking.
When she entered the living room, she looked at Sark who was still cuffed to the chair.
"Morning!" he greeted her. "I though you had forgotten me!"
Irina didn't comment, just freed him from the chair. After he got up, he rubbed his wrists.
"I'll be in the gym." She announced. "Would you mind freeing my body-guards?" She threw the key to the cellar door at him. "And bring me a coffee... twice as strong as normal. With two aspirin, please."
"Um... excuse my objection, but you shouldn't take aspirin in combination with caffeine."
"Just do what I told you to! No discussions or objections. I'm not in the mood for that today."
Irina spoke slowly and Sark knew better than to ignore this hidden threat in her voice.
"Sounds as if you had an exhausting night!" he said, his face emotionless, but his eyes sparkling with amusement. Irina lifted her eyes to the ceiling and turned around.
"You've got three minutes! If I don't have my coffee then, you will find yourself waking up in the hospital!"
"Understood!" He watched her leaving the room and grinned to himself. This was so Irina - she didn't react to any personal questions... she didn't even comment on speculations. Well, in this case speculations were unnecessary. He had seen the hickey on her neck.
But considering whom she had to thank for it, he thought it better to not provoke her today.
Irina yawned slightly when she entered her little gym. She wasn't even sure her head would allow her to do any exercises, but she would at least try.
She had to regain control over the situation. What situation - there is no situation, she reminded herself. Don't be stupid, you do not love Bristow - you never have.
She slammed her fist onto the punchbag, holding it to prevent it from hitting her in the face. She leaned her forehead against it and closed her eyes again.
Love was absolutely out of the question. He hated her, she hated him, they were enemies! He would not hesitate to shoot her given the chance.
She started when Sark entered the room loudly, putting the cup of coffee on the small table in the room.
"Here's your coffee. I've already freed the guards. Do you want them to take Bristow back down into the cellar room?"
"No..." Irina looked at him. "No, let him sleep. Just inform me when he wakes up!"
"As you wish..."
She watched him leave and went to the small table. Taking the cup of coffee into one hand and the aspirin into the other, she sat down on the floor. Yoga had always helped her to find herself, her goals, and most of all her strength again.
She swallowed the aspirin and drank the coffee in one gulp and then she closed her eyes to meditate.
~~~~
*** "Hi, I'm Laura... Laura Walker."
The first time I met Jack Bristow, I was truly relieved. This might sound insane now, since it was just a mission - no emotion involved. But just one day before my departure from Moskau to the US, where I was supposed to meet Jack Bristow, I had a conversation with another agent. She was about fifteen years older than me and had been sent to the same kind of job once. She had to marry a guy, German intelligence, and get information about the research he was working on. She told me that it had been the worst three years in her life. He had been unattractive and rude-mannered, not even charming.
After three years she had begged her handlers for extraction. She told me, that since that day, she had never slept with a man again... and had no intention to do so in the future. That man had destroyed every spark of romance or desire that had been in her heart.
I was so afraid. I had never considered this part of my mission. Marrying a man to access information included sex and intimacy, a thought that scared the hell out of me. Of course I've had sex before, but the thought of having to sleep with a man I truly hated for the next six or seven years was not very motivating.
When my handler showed me a picture of the man I would be introduced to the following evening, I was only a little relieved. At least he was handsome... but that did not exclude rude manners or a bad character. I wanted to like him at least a little bit... although it was paradox. Wanting to like the enemy.
When I then went to him to introduce myself, I was so overwhelmed by his charm that sometimes I had to remind myself about my mission. He treated me with respect and it took us four dates before he kissed me for the first time.
I will never forget that kiss. He had taken me home and I remember that we were joking about something that had happened that evening. We had been touching the whole time... you know those light touches on the arm, where the other one keeps thinking about whether it's coincidence or intentional.
Suddenly he got serious and just looked at me. "Laura, you're amazing. I've never met a woman with so much esprit and intelligence... and beauty!" And then he kissed me. It was one of those promising, sweet first kisses that make you feel weightless.
I only stopped trembling when I was up in my apartment. I knew that I shouldn't feel that way. He was just part of my mission and so I started to work on it. I asked my handlers for help. I was young and had not much experience in shutting out strong feelings like love. I had been naive to think that I could control feelings like love and passion that easily.
So I worked on it, just as I had worked on my mental strength. It was a hard training, but the many dark and hopeless situations my job brought that time, helped me to let mistrust win over love. At the end of the seven years I felt a deep sadness, a hole in my heart, but I was strong. I would be able to deal with it. And over the years I've come to believe that I never truly loved Jack Bristow. I had feelings for him because it was the only way to get through the years without it being a nightmare, but those feelings faded away after I was back in Russia suspected of treason and arrested. Over the years Jack Bristow has become no more than a face in my memory, a picture - at least that was what I thought. I couldn't have been more wrong. I buried my feelings for him deep within, because I knew that leaving him and Sydney, the only two people I had ever truly cared about, behind could break my heart and my so-long trained mental strength. I mustn't show those feelings, especially not to my handlers. If anyone had known about them, they would have used them to threaten and torture me.
Bury them so deep that even I couldn't find them was the only way to survive. But now, twenty-one years later, those feelings have resurfaced and they are stronger than ever before. I have no idea how to deal with them. I don't know if I can find the strength to bury them once again. I have to find a way, because I know if I don't, they're going to destroy me. ***
~~~~~
She opened her eyes widely, her body shaking. What had that flashback been? It seemed as if her past crashed onto her every time she closed her eyes lately. Usually Yoga helped her to regain her strength... this time she felt even weaker than before.
Her head felt a little better but the headache had not subsided completely. Irina got up and left her gym room. Instead of letting old memories invae her, she would take a look at the disk and its data.
She let herself sink onto the couch in living room, pulling the laptop onto her legs. She entered the commands to open the contents of the disk, but instead of the files an error sign appeared.
PLEASE INSERT DISK INTO FLOPPY DRIVE
"MR SARK!" She moaned and held her head. Her own yell made her feel as if her head was bursting.
"Yes? Is there any problem?" Sark showed up only ten seconds after she had called.
"Where is the disk?"
"What do you mean?" He looked at her and he seemed as if he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.
"The disk we retrieved yesterday! I had it here in the laptop... where is it?"
"I didn't even touch the laptop!" The man defended himself and Irina got up, stepping towards him.
"Stop playing games. I know you... I'm sure you've already made a deal with someone to sell it. So where is it?"
"Irina, I swear to god, I did not touch the disk!"
"Who else except for you could..." She cut herself off and caught her breath. The realization dawned on her and she had to inhale deeply. "Send the guards up to look for Bristow!" she ordered Sark in a sharp voice.
"Of course!" he hurried out of the room and just two minutes later she heard curses from upstairs. She sank back into the couch and held her head.
"Bastard!" she hissed. He hadn't been sleeping. He had waited for the right moment to escape.
"I'm truly sorry to have to tell you this, but..."
"Let me guess, he's gone!"
"Unfortunately, yeah..."
"Great!" she threw the laptop next to her onto the couch and got up. "Pack our stuff, we need to leave. This house will soon be overrun with CIA agents. We have four hours... at the most!"
"I understand!"
"And Sark..." She looked at him, her eyes gleaming like ice. "This is your fault! Don't you dare make another mistake like that again, understood?"
"Yes... I'm sorry!"
"Now let's get out of here!" She grabbed her laptop and hurried into her room to pack her most important things. When she searched for the weapon under her pillow she found a small note, written on a small sheet of paper.
"Don't be too angry with me. The disk just contains too much valuable information to be in the wrong hands.
- J. "
"Damn it!" She crumpled the note in her hands and clenched a fist. He was a fool to think that he could beat Irina Derevko in one of her own games. Wait, Jack Bristow, I will get revenge for that.
~*~*~*~
"We just got confirmation from out team leader." Kendall looked at Jack, obviously thinking about which way was the best to tell him. "The house is empty... no sign of Irina Derevko or one of her assets."
As Jack had expected. He hadn't been too rushed to inform the CIA where Irina Derevko's hideout was, in order to buy her some time to get away.
In fact, deep inside he was relieved that she had managed to escape... but of course he wouldn't show that to Kendall.
"What do you mean no sign? I was held there! It's only been six hours! There must be something!"
"I understand that you're angry, Jack, but she has erased all possible traces. At the moment it's a dead end. But I promise you we'll search this place with all possible high-tech equipment and trace every phone-call, internet connection or fingerprint!"
Jack watched Kendall walk away. He was sure Irina had already taken care of anything that could lead to her. For the moment she was safe... but for how long would that be?