I notice it now 2/?
By tace
Dedicated to Barbie and megz, neither of whom have read this.
A/N: this is un-beta-d, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please review. I will try to update quicker this time.
Spike
I shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't. At least, not for this reason. I should be here to see the slayer, or to talk to the lil' bit. Not for this. For over a year, I thought I was in love with Buffy, but no. What I felt for her was lust. I couldn't have her dead, so I wanted her "mine". I don't even like the bint. I'm here because I've finally figured it out. The real reason I came back to Sunnydale. The real reason I help out the damn "scoobies". The only real reason I'm glad I'm alive. Figuratively speaking, of course. The reason? Willow Rosenberg.
The first time I came back, after Dru had dumped me, and I kidnapped her, I think it may have started then. And when I came back the second time (well, third, I guess), all chipped out, I went to the room to find Buffy. To kill her. Still, somewhere deep inside, I was ecstatic about finding Red alone in the room. The moment I saw her, I didn't want to kill her. I knew I wanted to turn her. I didn't think about why. I don't often stop to think. I didn't notice it then. I notice it now. She's my world. She's the only thing keeping me here.
But she'll never feel the same.
I turn away from the door and watch as the numbers on the wall catch the light. 1630 Revello Drive. It's not just Buffy's home anymore. It's Willow's.
It's no use. I'm not what she wants.
I start to walk away from the house, my heart breaking a little more with every step. It's back to pretending to be in love with the slayer for me, just to keep the truth hidden. I've just reached the street when a scream fills the air around me. A scream full of pain and anguish, and a little regret. A familiar scream.
Willow.
I turn around and run up to the front door. I know that she's alone. The door is locked, so I kick it in, grateful that I am still invited. I take the stairs 3 at a time. My brain is working overtime, coming up with horrible scenes of what I might find inside. I reach the top of the stairs and bound down the hall to her door. It's closed, but I don't knock before entering. Like I said, I don't often think things through. The first thing that comes to me as I open the door is the smell of blood. Her blood. It's everywhere, on the walls, the ceiling, pooled around her still body. The next thing is the knife embedded in her chest, one hand still wrapped around the blade. Her face is full of fear, her eyes still open.
In all my years of chaos and destruction, I never saw something like this. I never saw someone I cared about after they committed suicide. It's so hard to accept. Just 5 minutes ago, I didn't want to enter so that she wouldn't know how much I care. I could have stopped this. I could have saved Willow's life.
I inch toward her lifeless body in total shock. She's gone. Forever. I kneel beside her, and take her head into my lap. Red tears fill my eyes, and I let them flow. I look at her, taking in her beautiful red hair and gorgeous features. I love to make her smile. Now I'll never make her smile again.
I reach out to close her eyes, but something makes me stop. There's something in the room. I listen carefully, and the familiar sound is like heaven to my ears.
To Be Continued
A/N: I undated, now for some responses.
Ok, first, I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG.
Amphitrite: No, I intend to continue. I forgot to write TBC at the end of Chapter one.
hell for eternity: Wow, you are soooo nice. I was expecting flames!
WillowSpikey: Thanks for reviewing, and the next chapter should be more of spike's reactions.
ShadowElfBard: You're right to be angry. Which is why I am continuing.
Syringe: Ana, here. Feel better yet? No... of course not. But I will try to update soon. (my life is at stake here...)
BadBoyLover: Yes, I will continue.
By tace
Dedicated to Barbie and megz, neither of whom have read this.
A/N: this is un-beta-d, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please review. I will try to update quicker this time.
Spike
I shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't. At least, not for this reason. I should be here to see the slayer, or to talk to the lil' bit. Not for this. For over a year, I thought I was in love with Buffy, but no. What I felt for her was lust. I couldn't have her dead, so I wanted her "mine". I don't even like the bint. I'm here because I've finally figured it out. The real reason I came back to Sunnydale. The real reason I help out the damn "scoobies". The only real reason I'm glad I'm alive. Figuratively speaking, of course. The reason? Willow Rosenberg.
The first time I came back, after Dru had dumped me, and I kidnapped her, I think it may have started then. And when I came back the second time (well, third, I guess), all chipped out, I went to the room to find Buffy. To kill her. Still, somewhere deep inside, I was ecstatic about finding Red alone in the room. The moment I saw her, I didn't want to kill her. I knew I wanted to turn her. I didn't think about why. I don't often stop to think. I didn't notice it then. I notice it now. She's my world. She's the only thing keeping me here.
But she'll never feel the same.
I turn away from the door and watch as the numbers on the wall catch the light. 1630 Revello Drive. It's not just Buffy's home anymore. It's Willow's.
It's no use. I'm not what she wants.
I start to walk away from the house, my heart breaking a little more with every step. It's back to pretending to be in love with the slayer for me, just to keep the truth hidden. I've just reached the street when a scream fills the air around me. A scream full of pain and anguish, and a little regret. A familiar scream.
Willow.
I turn around and run up to the front door. I know that she's alone. The door is locked, so I kick it in, grateful that I am still invited. I take the stairs 3 at a time. My brain is working overtime, coming up with horrible scenes of what I might find inside. I reach the top of the stairs and bound down the hall to her door. It's closed, but I don't knock before entering. Like I said, I don't often think things through. The first thing that comes to me as I open the door is the smell of blood. Her blood. It's everywhere, on the walls, the ceiling, pooled around her still body. The next thing is the knife embedded in her chest, one hand still wrapped around the blade. Her face is full of fear, her eyes still open.
In all my years of chaos and destruction, I never saw something like this. I never saw someone I cared about after they committed suicide. It's so hard to accept. Just 5 minutes ago, I didn't want to enter so that she wouldn't know how much I care. I could have stopped this. I could have saved Willow's life.
I inch toward her lifeless body in total shock. She's gone. Forever. I kneel beside her, and take her head into my lap. Red tears fill my eyes, and I let them flow. I look at her, taking in her beautiful red hair and gorgeous features. I love to make her smile. Now I'll never make her smile again.
I reach out to close her eyes, but something makes me stop. There's something in the room. I listen carefully, and the familiar sound is like heaven to my ears.
To Be Continued
A/N: I undated, now for some responses.
Ok, first, I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG.
Amphitrite: No, I intend to continue. I forgot to write TBC at the end of Chapter one.
hell for eternity: Wow, you are soooo nice. I was expecting flames!
WillowSpikey: Thanks for reviewing, and the next chapter should be more of spike's reactions.
ShadowElfBard: You're right to be angry. Which is why I am continuing.
Syringe: Ana, here. Feel better yet? No... of course not. But I will try to update soon. (my life is at stake here...)
BadBoyLover: Yes, I will continue.