Title: Hell In Your Eyes 2/?
Rating: R-still
Disclaimer: I own nothing..very sad
Distribution: If you want it, e-mail me and you can have it...not as your own but you know to put up on a website or
something like that o.O
Summary: Dreams and thoughts...ha
Author's Notes: Lyrics are from H.I.M.'s 'Join Me In Death'. Very kick ass song. I recommend everyone to go download it. Right
now...at this moment....go
Reviewers: I love you guys Lol. Even if there are only 3 of you. I still love you. You've inspired me to make this a series.
Or at least a couple of more chapters Lol.
xInuyashaxAngelx: Doesn't everyone? -insert evil grin here- Lol. You never know. Wait and see
Gemini: He makes an art out of it doesn't he?
arianamissy: ty very much. I aim to please
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~_~_~In Dreams~_~_~
I used to think that I could escape the reality that is my life by dreaming. As of lately, I'm beginning to find out that I was probably just lying to myself to make everything all right. It's been a week now since the catwalk incident. That's what I refer to it as. I can't bring myself to believe that he's...well gone. I was almost getting used to the fact that it wasn't
Angel anymore. Yet there was still some lingering part inside of me that wanted to believe it was. Or at least that we could get him back but I know that's not going to happen now.
After I killed him, I managed to straighten my clothing so I would at least look somewhat presentable when they found my body. At the time I didn't really think that my body was going to be burned to a crisp but it's the small things right?
I had accepted that I was going to die and no one was going to come for me when I heard his voice. Giles. He had followed me to the factory but couldn't find a way in until now. I heard him calling for me and for some reason I answered. I didn't want to but I did. Maybe there was a part of me wanted to live. I'm still not sure.
He had found a ladder against a while and climbed up to where I was at. Noticing the dust pile next to me, and the stake that was being held in a death grip, he chose not to say anything. Instead, he held up his handkerchief to my face, to protect my eyes and mouth from the smoke and picked me up in his arms.
The drive back to his house was silent. Both of us were thinking of our loved ones and what could have been but never would be. While I sat on his couch, Giles busied himself with finding blankets and an old pair of pajamas for me. The crime scene in his bedroom had been cleaned up but I noticed that he didn't go anywhere near it.
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Which brings us back to now. Giles had called my mom, explaining the situation and of course she agreed to me staying over. He was asleep in the spare bedroom and I've been laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. I'm afraid to go to sleep. Afraid of what I will dream. And yet, I feel my eyes closing, almost against my will.
The dream comes fast but it's blurry around the edges. You know how dreams are. You don't really realize you're dreaming for more than half of it, but when you do, it's like everything becomes clearer.
It's one of those first-person dreams and I'm almost glad that it is. It's kind of weird watching yourself do stuff. I glance down at myself and see that I'm wearing this white silky dress. It's almost like the one I was wearing when I had the dream about Drusilla killing Angel. I've never owned anything like this much less seen anything like that and yet I'm wearing it.
"I don't it." The sound of my voice startles me and I can almost feel myself slipping out of the dream. I cling to it though because I want to know if it's something prophetic or not.
"You're not supposed to." A voice from behind me answers my question. "It's not your dream."
I don't want to turn around. I'm afraid to look. This isn't happening. I feel myself shaking my head and I realize that I'm holding my head and shaking it back and forth. My hands cover my ears and I'm whispering something but what?
"No. No. No. No. This isn't happening. No."
We are so young
Our lives have just begun
But already we're considering
Escape from this world
I feel his hands cover my hands and he pulls them away from my ears. Pinning my own arms against my body, he puts his chin on my shoulder, his head leaning against mine.
"You know you will never be rid of me lover."
"Why?" I whisper. I almost wonder if I'm talking out loud in my sleep.
"Because we're connected." I feel his hand over my heart and I wonder if that's what he means. Connected by our hearts? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"What-" He cuts me off, placing his hands on my shoulders and firmly turning me around. My eyes are shut because I don't want to see what he looks like. What if he's deformed or something equally bad?
"Buffy look at me."
I shake my head.
"Buffy." I open my eyes and there he is. Perfect in every way. And still wearing the same outfit I saw him in last.
"What do you want from me? Why can't you leave me alone?"
His grip becomes tighter on my shoulders. "You loved him." He spats that word out at me.
And we've waited for so long
For this moment to come
We're so anxious to be together
Together in death
"I felt that love when I was trapped inside of him. Felt it and hated it. You made me...him..feel human and I am not human. I will never be human. I am a soul-less demon. I do not feel love." He emphasized each word with a little shake.
"You think just because you killed me that you got rid of me. Let me tell you something, you will never be rid of me. I will follow you wherever you go. In your dreams and out of them. You will know what hell is like."
I close my eyes. Not believing this. It's just a dream. Dreams don't mean anything.
His grip slackens and all of the sudden it becomes soothing. Like he's rubbing my shoulders. Wait a minute. He is rubbing my shoulders.
"What are you doing?" I open my eyes and stare at him. I almost expected him to grow horns.
Angelus stares at me for a moment. His brown eyes empty. Empty except for one thing and I know that I'm just imagining that I'm seeing something else in his eyes.
He doesn't answer me but continues to rub my shoulders. But he's not really rubbing my shoulders. My dress ties at the shoulders and when I glance at one shoulder, I see that he's pulling the tie loose.
"Please don't do this."
"why not. It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything. Just like on the catwalk."
The dress comes un-tied and pools around my feet. Of course, I'd have to be naked wouldn't I? His arms circle my waist and I'm pulled up against him.
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Would you die
Baby join me in death
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
The silk of his shirt and the leather of his pants cool off my heated body. I feel things tighten and soon, I feel hot again. I bury my face against his chest and I feel his mouth against my neck.
"You know, it's okay if you want to. Dreams don't mean anything." His tongue brushes against my neck and I moan. Out loud.
The moan makes me aware of my surrounds. A stiff couch. Soft blankets. Couch? There isn't a couch around me. I'm standing, with Angelus. No wait...I'm not. I'm in Giles' apartment. As soon as I realize that, I'm suddenly awake and sitting up. Giles is sitting next to me on the floor.
"Are you alright? You sounded distressed." Giles is still in the clothes he was in yesterday. I know that it's the day after because the clock on the wall says it's almost five a.m.
I take slow deep breaths. I want to tell him about the dream but then I don't. He'll analyze it...and then not good. I didn't want to think anymore.
"Was it him?" Giles doesn't look angry when he asks this. All I can do is nod.
"I was dreaming of her. That's why I'm awake."
"Oh god. Giles. I'm so sorry. I didn't say anything and-" He held up his hand.
"It's...okay. You were...I didn't even thank you. Although I'm not sure if that's the right way to phrase that."
I smile at him. Even at times like these, he's still proper and I'm glad I can count on that. "It's okay. I know what you mean."
"I...I was thinking of going after him myself. In fact, I almost did but Joyce called me and told me you had gone after him yourself. What that did to you….I'll never know what it feels like." He took a deep breath. "I know I'm not your father but I feel as if you're my daughter and if you ever need anything."
"I know Giles. Thanks." He gives me a brief smile and nods. We sit there in silence for a few minutes before he gets up and tells me he's going to go my the school to let them know what happened.
This world is a cruel place
And we're here only to lose
So before life tears us apart let
Death bless me with you
I lay back down and try not to close my eyes. I've only had about three hours of sleep yet now I definitely afraid to fall back asleep. I should listen to my instincts more often and not ignore them. I hear the front door open and then close and know that I am now
alone in the apartment. The room is lightening up a little bit and I can tell that sunrise is not far off. Lived to see another......
Wouldyou die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Would you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
The front door opens and I figured he forgot something. I don't hear it close and that causes me to open up my eyes and prop myself up. The door is open, no one standing there. Frowning, I get up and peek outside, and seeing no one, I shrug and shut it. When I turn back to my make-shift bed, I stop. Something silky is laid across the blankets.
I open my mouth, to say something to myself and think better. What if someone is in the house? It wouldn't do me any good to stand there and talk to myself.
I slowly walk over to the couch. Trying to be quiet in case something is there. I stare down and try not to gasp. The object in front of me is silky and white. Like the dress from my dreams...but, wait a minute. It can't be. Can it?
I reach out with a shaky hand and pick it up. It was folded neatly but from the way I picked it up, it came unfolded and dropped in front of me. It was the dress. The same exact fucking dress. How?
"No. Not possible. There is no way." I whisper to myself.
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
"Are you sure lover?"
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Would you die
Baby join me in death
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
I turn around...not wanting to but I do. And I scream.
Baby join me in death
A/N: Dun dun dunnnn
Rating: R-still
Disclaimer: I own nothing..very sad
Distribution: If you want it, e-mail me and you can have it...not as your own but you know to put up on a website or
something like that o.O
Summary: Dreams and thoughts...ha
Author's Notes: Lyrics are from H.I.M.'s 'Join Me In Death'. Very kick ass song. I recommend everyone to go download it. Right
now...at this moment....go
Reviewers: I love you guys Lol. Even if there are only 3 of you. I still love you. You've inspired me to make this a series.
Or at least a couple of more chapters Lol.
xInuyashaxAngelx: Doesn't everyone? -insert evil grin here- Lol. You never know. Wait and see
Gemini: He makes an art out of it doesn't he?
arianamissy: ty very much. I aim to please
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~_~_~In Dreams~_~_~
I used to think that I could escape the reality that is my life by dreaming. As of lately, I'm beginning to find out that I was probably just lying to myself to make everything all right. It's been a week now since the catwalk incident. That's what I refer to it as. I can't bring myself to believe that he's...well gone. I was almost getting used to the fact that it wasn't
Angel anymore. Yet there was still some lingering part inside of me that wanted to believe it was. Or at least that we could get him back but I know that's not going to happen now.
After I killed him, I managed to straighten my clothing so I would at least look somewhat presentable when they found my body. At the time I didn't really think that my body was going to be burned to a crisp but it's the small things right?
I had accepted that I was going to die and no one was going to come for me when I heard his voice. Giles. He had followed me to the factory but couldn't find a way in until now. I heard him calling for me and for some reason I answered. I didn't want to but I did. Maybe there was a part of me wanted to live. I'm still not sure.
He had found a ladder against a while and climbed up to where I was at. Noticing the dust pile next to me, and the stake that was being held in a death grip, he chose not to say anything. Instead, he held up his handkerchief to my face, to protect my eyes and mouth from the smoke and picked me up in his arms.
The drive back to his house was silent. Both of us were thinking of our loved ones and what could have been but never would be. While I sat on his couch, Giles busied himself with finding blankets and an old pair of pajamas for me. The crime scene in his bedroom had been cleaned up but I noticed that he didn't go anywhere near it.
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Which brings us back to now. Giles had called my mom, explaining the situation and of course she agreed to me staying over. He was asleep in the spare bedroom and I've been laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. I'm afraid to go to sleep. Afraid of what I will dream. And yet, I feel my eyes closing, almost against my will.
The dream comes fast but it's blurry around the edges. You know how dreams are. You don't really realize you're dreaming for more than half of it, but when you do, it's like everything becomes clearer.
It's one of those first-person dreams and I'm almost glad that it is. It's kind of weird watching yourself do stuff. I glance down at myself and see that I'm wearing this white silky dress. It's almost like the one I was wearing when I had the dream about Drusilla killing Angel. I've never owned anything like this much less seen anything like that and yet I'm wearing it.
"I don't it." The sound of my voice startles me and I can almost feel myself slipping out of the dream. I cling to it though because I want to know if it's something prophetic or not.
"You're not supposed to." A voice from behind me answers my question. "It's not your dream."
I don't want to turn around. I'm afraid to look. This isn't happening. I feel myself shaking my head and I realize that I'm holding my head and shaking it back and forth. My hands cover my ears and I'm whispering something but what?
"No. No. No. No. This isn't happening. No."
We are so young
Our lives have just begun
But already we're considering
Escape from this world
I feel his hands cover my hands and he pulls them away from my ears. Pinning my own arms against my body, he puts his chin on my shoulder, his head leaning against mine.
"You know you will never be rid of me lover."
"Why?" I whisper. I almost wonder if I'm talking out loud in my sleep.
"Because we're connected." I feel his hand over my heart and I wonder if that's what he means. Connected by our hearts? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"What-" He cuts me off, placing his hands on my shoulders and firmly turning me around. My eyes are shut because I don't want to see what he looks like. What if he's deformed or something equally bad?
"Buffy look at me."
I shake my head.
"Buffy." I open my eyes and there he is. Perfect in every way. And still wearing the same outfit I saw him in last.
"What do you want from me? Why can't you leave me alone?"
His grip becomes tighter on my shoulders. "You loved him." He spats that word out at me.
And we've waited for so long
For this moment to come
We're so anxious to be together
Together in death
"I felt that love when I was trapped inside of him. Felt it and hated it. You made me...him..feel human and I am not human. I will never be human. I am a soul-less demon. I do not feel love." He emphasized each word with a little shake.
"You think just because you killed me that you got rid of me. Let me tell you something, you will never be rid of me. I will follow you wherever you go. In your dreams and out of them. You will know what hell is like."
I close my eyes. Not believing this. It's just a dream. Dreams don't mean anything.
His grip slackens and all of the sudden it becomes soothing. Like he's rubbing my shoulders. Wait a minute. He is rubbing my shoulders.
"What are you doing?" I open my eyes and stare at him. I almost expected him to grow horns.
Angelus stares at me for a moment. His brown eyes empty. Empty except for one thing and I know that I'm just imagining that I'm seeing something else in his eyes.
He doesn't answer me but continues to rub my shoulders. But he's not really rubbing my shoulders. My dress ties at the shoulders and when I glance at one shoulder, I see that he's pulling the tie loose.
"Please don't do this."
"why not. It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything. Just like on the catwalk."
The dress comes un-tied and pools around my feet. Of course, I'd have to be naked wouldn't I? His arms circle my waist and I'm pulled up against him.
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Would you die
Baby join me in death
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
The silk of his shirt and the leather of his pants cool off my heated body. I feel things tighten and soon, I feel hot again. I bury my face against his chest and I feel his mouth against my neck.
"You know, it's okay if you want to. Dreams don't mean anything." His tongue brushes against my neck and I moan. Out loud.
The moan makes me aware of my surrounds. A stiff couch. Soft blankets. Couch? There isn't a couch around me. I'm standing, with Angelus. No wait...I'm not. I'm in Giles' apartment. As soon as I realize that, I'm suddenly awake and sitting up. Giles is sitting next to me on the floor.
"Are you alright? You sounded distressed." Giles is still in the clothes he was in yesterday. I know that it's the day after because the clock on the wall says it's almost five a.m.
I take slow deep breaths. I want to tell him about the dream but then I don't. He'll analyze it...and then not good. I didn't want to think anymore.
"Was it him?" Giles doesn't look angry when he asks this. All I can do is nod.
"I was dreaming of her. That's why I'm awake."
"Oh god. Giles. I'm so sorry. I didn't say anything and-" He held up his hand.
"It's...okay. You were...I didn't even thank you. Although I'm not sure if that's the right way to phrase that."
I smile at him. Even at times like these, he's still proper and I'm glad I can count on that. "It's okay. I know what you mean."
"I...I was thinking of going after him myself. In fact, I almost did but Joyce called me and told me you had gone after him yourself. What that did to you….I'll never know what it feels like." He took a deep breath. "I know I'm not your father but I feel as if you're my daughter and if you ever need anything."
"I know Giles. Thanks." He gives me a brief smile and nods. We sit there in silence for a few minutes before he gets up and tells me he's going to go my the school to let them know what happened.
This world is a cruel place
And we're here only to lose
So before life tears us apart let
Death bless me with you
I lay back down and try not to close my eyes. I've only had about three hours of sleep yet now I definitely afraid to fall back asleep. I should listen to my instincts more often and not ignore them. I hear the front door open and then close and know that I am now
alone in the apartment. The room is lightening up a little bit and I can tell that sunrise is not far off. Lived to see another......
Wouldyou die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Would you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
The front door opens and I figured he forgot something. I don't hear it close and that causes me to open up my eyes and prop myself up. The door is open, no one standing there. Frowning, I get up and peek outside, and seeing no one, I shrug and shut it. When I turn back to my make-shift bed, I stop. Something silky is laid across the blankets.
I open my mouth, to say something to myself and think better. What if someone is in the house? It wouldn't do me any good to stand there and talk to myself.
I slowly walk over to the couch. Trying to be quiet in case something is there. I stare down and try not to gasp. The object in front of me is silky and white. Like the dress from my dreams...but, wait a minute. It can't be. Can it?
I reach out with a shaky hand and pick it up. It was folded neatly but from the way I picked it up, it came unfolded and dropped in front of me. It was the dress. The same exact fucking dress. How?
"No. Not possible. There is no way." I whisper to myself.
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
This life ain't worth living
"Are you sure lover?"
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Would you die
Baby join me in death
Would you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
I turn around...not wanting to but I do. And I scream.
Baby join me in death
A/N: Dun dun dunnnn