A/N: Somewhere in the middle of this chapter the story completely deviates and goes off into whole new directions involving mysterious genderless people in long black cloaks who want to do drastic things…… R/R!

Later…

"ANOTHER STINKING QUEST!" Meara yelled. "IS THIS ALL WE ARE GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES?"

"Hey, more time with Will for me." Lauren shrugged.

"And Meara, what are you complaining about? You have Trist right next to you!!" cried Cisca, already sick of Meara's constant complaints. "You're just complaining to complain."

"Kraaaaawk!" the parrot on Meara's shoulder agreed.

"That's right, Trist, join them in their conspiracy to drive me crazy."

"Drat!" said Will. "She found us out."

"Huh?" asked Meara, confused.

"The CTDMC…Conspiracy to Drive Meara Crazy" answered Lauren cheerfully.

"But…but…" Meara started.

"I say we start a new conspiracy…the CTIMSSA," Cisca murmured to Captain Jack. Everyone stared at her as if she was crazy.

"Conspiracy to Ignore Meara since She's Annoying," Captain Jack answered for her.

"I'm in!" Lauren and Will said together.

"What's going on?" asked Commodore Jackass Norrington and Elizabeth, coming disheveled from the bedroom.

Just then Nikki arrived again, rather confused. "Wait…did you figure out which Captain Jack was authentic already? But…but…I had it all planned out. I knew one of them was Trist…and I was going to steal him from Meara…and then Cisca would be happy because she had her precious Captain Jack Sparrow, and I'd have Trist (the sexy god of mischief) and Meara would be the only one unhappy." Everyone simply stared. "What're you all looking at, I can't help it. Meara isn't evil enough for Trist…I am."

"Lauren, thank you," sighed Meara, in despair.

"What!!?? What'd I do!!??" cried Lauren worriedly. "I'm innocent, I swear!"

"Do you have something on your conscience, Lauren?" asked Cisca suspiciously.

"I only played some half a dozen tricks on Commodore Jackass and Elizabeth…that isn't too bad, is it?"

"Oh, that's ok, then," Cisca replied. "You're forgiven."

"Now…" came a thundering voice behind them, "can you please go in search of the sword of the gods? The trail is getting faint as we speak."

"Yeah, whatever," Nikki answered. "Trist, where are you, you can guide the ship to wherever this 'sword of the gods' thing was stolen from. The rest of you, why are you just standing there? Get a move on! Now…" The growing crowd of people dispersed and left Nikki alone. She sighed… "Oh well, I've just gotta try again later…"

3 Days later...

"Haven't we found the stinking sword yet?" asked Meara.

"SHUT UP MEARA, THAT'S THE THREE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-SEVENTH TIME YOU SAID THAT!" yelled everyone back at her.

"I CAN'T HELP IT; WE HAVE BEEN ON THIS STUPID QUEST FOR THREE DAYS. TRIST, CAN'T YOU MAKE THIS GO A LITTLE FASTER? PLEASE? FOR ME?" begged Meara pitifully.

"NO, DON'T DO IT FOR ME!" Cried Nikki, "I'M MORE EVIL THAN SHE IS, SHE'S JUST ANNOYING!

"Shut up you two", says Trist as he pushes the commodore overboard. "Oops! Sorry."

"NO, COME BACK HERE!" Elizabeth jumps over to save him. "We can use my dress to keep us up. The air trapped under will keep us buoyant."

Jackass Norrington asks her, "But what about the ship? THEY ARE STEALING IT! Come back here, you thieves you!"

"Commodore, just let them go. Now we can be alone, forever," replies bitch Elizabeth.

"Wow, now she really isn't very innocent," says Meara.

"Hey that's the first time Meara has said something that we can agree with! All right, who is that? What did you do with Meara?" asks Nikki.

"Hey Trist, you still haven't sped this up! God! I just want this to be over with," cries Meara.

"Damn, she's back to normal. I shouldn't have said anything," mumbles Nikki to herself.

"Hey, what happened to Jackass Norrington?" asks Lauren as she comes back from watching Orlando fence shirtless again.

"The parrot knocked him off and Elizabeth jumped in after him, so I'm in charge now," replies Captain Jack Sparrow.

"You're so cool Jack," Cisca says, adding under her breath, "and sexy"

"That is why he is mine", says a mysterious booming voice coming from a hooded figure.

"Who are you?" says Jack.

"I am a demon from the depths of hell, see the wings, and I have stolen the sword of the gods. If you want it back, give me Captain Jack Sparrow."

"NO, he's mine, YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" Cries Cisca.

"Wait, what? I don't belong to anyone," Yells Captain Jack sparrow.

"I'M JUST GETTING THIS STUPID QUEST OVER WITH," Screams Meara in a frantic rage.

Lauren whispers to Orlando who has finally put on his shirt, "I think CTDMC worked, she's snapped finally."

Meara lunges at the hooded figure, only to go right through the person and fall flat on her face. And while Meara is down, Nikki quickly runs over and puts Trist the parrot in an unbreakable cage and hides him in her room.

"If you want the sword, send Captain Jack Sparrow to the Isla De Muerta, alone, then I will send the sword back to you, and you can all go on your merry way. OK?" And with those words the mysterious person disappears. "Well, I think they will be here soon. He he, my plan is working perfectly, they will never guess it's me,"

The person is interrupted by Cisca, "Um, we can still hear you."

"What? Oh, damn." They all hear a pop and the voice was gone.