Chapter One-Silly Little Bunny
"My silly little bunny!" I head someone murmur. I felt Sirius pick me up from the chair I was sleeping in. I turned to look at Remus, and saw that he had fallen asleep too.
"Where are we going?" I muttered still half asleep turning back to look at Sirius.
"I'm bringing you upstairs. Then you can walk up the rest of the stairs and go to the girls dorms."
"No," I said. Sirius stopped and looked at me, waiting for an answer. "Can you take me to the prefects' room?"
Sirius smiled and kept walking up the stairs and headed for the prefects' room. He gently laid me down on the bed, pulled the blanket up over me, and sat down next to me. He fixed my alarm clock and said, "It'll go off at ten. I'll come and wake you up if you aren't already awake by then."
Sirius leaned down and gently kissed my forehead. I smiled and slowly closed my eyes.
I heard someone turning off my alarm clock. When I turned over, I saw Sirius had returned. "Good morning. Again." He smiled and got up from the edge of my bed. He walked around to the other side, jumped onto it, and rolled his way towards me. I giggled, and he only smiled more.
"Do you know what today is?" He asked, starting his guessing game.
"Saturday."
"Do you know what people do on Saturday?"
"Sleep," I said, rolling over to go back to sleep.
"No, they don't sleep." I could feel Sirius's breath on the back of my neck.
"What do they do then?" I asked still smiling.
"Well..." Sirius started. I rolled over to see his face and caught by surprise.
I was kissing Sirius Black.
Chapter Two-Mind Games
I could feel his soft lips on mine, his hands moving their way up my arms. Although I was shocked, I couldn't help it. I mean, I had never thought of Sirius that way, or had I? Maybe everything had just been so confused with the baby and Remus and...
I had lost myself in thought and when Sirius rolled me onto my back, I was pelted back into reality.
"Well, well, well, well, well. I thought that I was the only male who could make out in that bed."
Both Sirius and I turned to look at who had just been talking. When we saw that it was Remus, I laughed. He was playing another one of his mind games.
Sirius, on the other hand, looked seriously lost.
"Explain yourself!" Remus yelled at Sirius. Sirius's mouth was hanging open, obviously thinking that Remus was serious.
"I...uh...we...er..." He started, lost for words.
"We were expressing our deepest love!" I said, cutting in, hoping that then Sirius would get the game. I threw my arms around his neck and looked at Remus. "That is, unless you want me...back." I said all mysteriously and slowly.
Sirius, still lost, looked back and forth from Remus to me, from Remus to me.
Laughing, Remus laughed and left us. I let go off Sirius's neck and got up to go and get dress.
"I...uh....we....er...what the hell just happened?" Sirius got up and followed me over towards my closet that I was standing in.
Ignoring his question, I closed the door, pulled on my clothes, and walked out of the closet. Sirius was floored.
I had on a white shirt sweater with the neck nice and long, slit on one side so that it could go over my neck. I had on my tight blue jeans and black boots on, completely cover by the ends of the jeans.
With his mouth open, I walked over and kissed Sirius. He suddenly seemed to get what was happening.
"So does that mean that you're coming with me on the trip to Hogshmeade?"
"Well," I started, walking around him and pulling him out of the room, "you can't kiss an Evans and then except it to just disappear."
Chapter Three-Taunts and Booze
"Name."
"Anna Smith."
"Go. Name."
"Remus Lupin."
"Go. Name."
"Hey guys!" Sirius grabbed my hand and we ran down the stairs to where the people were being checked to see if they could leave.
Finally, after an argument about why my name said Siobhan O'Brien, not Lily Evans, and having Professor Dumbledore sort out the mess, Sirius and I left along with Remus, Swan, James, and a blonde that James was taking.
Although the carriage could really only fit five people, we all fit. The blonde was on top of James the whole time, kissing him and pulling at his shirt. Remus read, Swan and I laughed, and Sirius started at the two of them.
"Do you like blondes better?" I asked all poutty, getting everybody's attentions, including James and the blonde. We all wanted to see how he reacted.
"Of course not, honey. I like red-heads. All smart and tall and everything. Speaking two languages really turns me on." We all laughed at how smoothly he said this and how he said it slyly, yet like he meant it.
When we got to Hogshmeade, Remus and Swan went to go and sit in the book store like they always did. They'd sit there and talk and read. They always enjoyed the time.
Sirius wanted to go with James, so, reluctantly, I went to.
"Anna, where do you want to go first?" James asked, looking at the blonde.
"My name isn't Anna, silly, It's Michelle."
"I know that," James said smoothly, walking along like this was nothing. "I changed your name to Anna to protect you. After all, I am a Potter, and we Potters must always look out for ones we like."
Michelle, apparently missing the fact that he said like, not love, threw her arms around James's neck.
"Oh, thank you honey!"
"Anything for my babe," James said, Michelle pulling him along. Sirius laughed, but stopped when I shot him a look.
"Uh," Sirius started, trying to change the subject, "where do you want to go first Lily?"
"Well, I don't know where she wants go, Black, but I know where I want her to go."
Chapter Three-Taunts and Booze-Part Two
Both Sirius and I turned around to see who had spoken. "Oh, speak of the Devil and here he is." Sirius said sarcastically. He might have found it funny, but it scared me.
Lucius Malfoy was standing infront of us. Sirius always made fun of him. I, on the other hand, found this to much of a life or death issue.
Even though Malfoy had graduated four yeas earlier, he still showed up when Hogwarts had a weekend at Hogshmeade. Everybody thought that it was nothing, but I knew better. I knew why he'd come, and I knew that he was always accompanied by other Death Eaters.
"Oh look, the traitor and or favorite mudblood," Malfoy said, then paused for his gang to laugh at his taunt.
"Oh, look, Lily," Sirius turned to me and said, "do you happen to have the number of the freak show, it seems that their star performances has escaped again?"
With that, Sirius turned, took my hand, and we walked towards the Three Brooms. I turned back to see Malfoy's confused face. I laughed, turned back, and allowed Sirius to put his arm around my waist.
When we got closer, we saw James standing outside, yelling to Sirius, "They've got booze!"
"Come one!" Sirius grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the Three Broomsticks as fast as he could. And I laughed the whole time.
I hadn't laughed like this since that car ride.
Chapter Four-Memories are Memories, and Only That
"Lily, are you OK?" I turned to my left and saw both Swan and Remus looking at me. They were just so happy together.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked back at my plate of mashed potatoes. I could feel their faces still on me, so I put my head in my hand so that they couldn't see my face.
Finally, they turned away.
"So, what do you think?"
"Remus, that is the silliest thing that you've ever said."
"I'm being serious."
"So am I."
I couldn't take it. I knew that I should be happy for them, but yet I wasn't. Sirius, seeing how I felt, took my bag, slung it over his shoulder, and grabbed my hand.
"Come on, you. We're going outside."
I followed him without looking back at Remus and Swan.
Sirius and I sat under the big oak tree that he'd found me under for a while. I leaned up against his chest and starred into the lake. It was all quiet until...
"Memories are memories, and only that Lily." I looked up into his face. He was looking at me very seriously. He didn't have that happy-go-lucky look in his eyes. He seemed sad.
"You have to let go. Remus has moved on. He's happy. You have to move on too."
"I know, it's just..." I couldn't fight back the tears any longer. "It's just that this is all so new to me. Now I have to start over. Remus is the only man that I ever loved."
"Loved. That's the keyword. He was the only one that you've ever loved. He's moved on. Shouldn't you?"
I sat up straight as Sirius finished and starred into his eyes. Is he being candid? This isn't like him! He's the one that blows up stuff with James! This can't be!
I must not have been paying attention, because just then I found that I'ld move myself right up close to Sirius.
I don't know how long we sat there kissing, or even if we heard a voice come on and say that afternoon classes are cancelled, but I do know one thing: that day something happened. Something wonderful. I'ld moved on from the old and found the new. And I think that the new was the one for me. That Sirius Black was the one for me.
Chapter Five-A Rough Night
"Sirius? Sirius? We have to go." I pulled away from Sirius and looked into his face. It was dark outside and we were sitting outside like we had from lunch.
"I don't want to! I just want you!" He pulled me closer to him and kissed me more.
"No...Sirius...we have to go..." I pushed up against Sirius's chest, trying to get away. All of a sudden, the memories came rushing back to me. Those horrible memories. I started hyperventilating.
Sirius let go of me, and I fell onto the ground. He stayed away from me, knowing that that was what I wanted.
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" I yelled as loud as I could, trying to get him to let go of me. He wouldn't. He just wouldn't let go. He threw me on a bed. He touched me in inappropriate ways. He wouldn't stop.
Lord Voldemort wouldn't let go.
Finally, I caught my breath. I turned slowly to look at Sirius.
"Lily...I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He looked down at the ground, but when he was done, he looked at me, waiting for an answer.
I didn't speak. I starred into his eyes and he knew that I wasn't mad, only scared.
Sirius held out his arms, knowing that if he touched me, then I'ld run. But if I came to him, that I'ld be better.
Slowly, I crawled to him. He held me like a baby, and rocked back and forth.
Finally, we went back to Gryffindor Tower.
Chapter Six-If you Can't Tell Us
Sirius held me by my elbows and slowly helped me up to the common room. Right before we entered, he stopped.
"Lily, is you don't want people to know..."
"I won't tell." I said softly, knowing he was afraid of the wrath that James would give him if it found out what memories he'd provoked.
"Are you going to tell Remus and Swan?" I heard him ask, his voice shaking as he spoke.
I turned to him and looked at him. He seemed scared. I couldn't blame him.
"Only if they ask. I can't keep it from them. Especially Remus."
Sirius finally looked up from the floor and into my face. He looked like a lost puppy, sadden by the fact that he'd never find his way home.
"Carpe diem," Sirius muttered, then slopped inside to find James. I followed him in, staying in the shadow, not wanting anyone to see.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Swan on top of Remus, kissing and hugging in front of the fire on the couch. I slowly walked over towards them, and sat down on the other end of the couch, trying not to bother them from their kissing. Yet, somehow, no matter how softly I sat, they still saw me. They both looked at me at the same time, Swan still biting Remus's lip.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Swan asked finally sitting back.
"Nothing," I lied. I looked into the fire. I didn't realize that my eyes were watering. I heard Swan move, but I didn't expect to have Remus wrap his arms around me and pull me onto his lap.
Feeling everyone wrap their arms around me, I started to cry into Remus's chest.
"Lily," Remus whispered softly into me ear, "if you can't tell us, who can you tell?"
Chapter Seven-Only You
"I love you," I whispered into Sirius's ear. Still sleeping in his bed, he opened his eyes only the slightest bit.
He pulled his pillow over his head, muttering, "I want to sleep more."
"Come on sleepy!" I grabbed his pillow and started hitting him with it. Feathers flying everywhere, we kept hitting each other for so long until we heard Remus clear his throat. We both turned to see all of the other sixth year boys standing at the door, starring at us, Swan and Swaney also starring. Swaney was making sour faces, and Swan was laughing, arm-in-arm with Remus.
"And is there something you to have to tell us?" James asked, starring straight at us.
"Well, uh...I'm...We're..." I started, trying to break the news to all of them. I looked back to Sirius to find words, but that wasn't what I found.
Sirius had grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. Holding me tight, we kissed and kissed. Finally, he pulled away. Everyone was silent until...
"Bravo Sirius! Come on, Swan, lets get back to business." Remus and Swan walked away, no doubtable to kiss more.
James, on the other hand, stood their, his mouth still open. "Come on, James, don't act like this is a surprise," Frank Longbottom said. Then, the rest of the boys walked out, dragging James as he yelled, "SIRIUS! BASTARD! YOU STOLE MY GIRL!" Sirius had the look of depression.
Nudging Sirius's chin with my head, I whispered, "I love you, no matter what."
"I love you too, and you know what," Sirius looked up into my face and said, "I don't care about anyone else...Only you."
When Sirius said that, it almost brought me to tears. I leaned in to kiss him. We kissed and kissed and kissed, holding each other, crying in each others arms.
Chapter Eight-Build Up of Pressure
"Hogshmeade visit today honey. Don't you want to come with me?" Sirius put his arm around me and asked.
"Why sure, I'ld love to." We kissed, then turned to look across the table at James and the girlfriend of the day, Jennifer. He, though, called her, once again, Anna.
"Now, I can't imagine who else I'ld want to go to Hogshmeade with other then you, Anna," James whispered into her ear. She giggled and looked at him.
"Of course my little Jamesy-poo!" Both Sirius and I laughed as James blushed.
"Anna, what did I say about calling me that?"
"I'm sorry. I just thought you'ld be fine with your friend here." Making a pouty dog face. James, of course being the airhead that he is, fell for it. So as Sirius and I walked downstairs to go to Hogshmeade, Anna started talking, calling James Jamesy-poo every other sentence. As soon as we got outside, we burst into hysterical laughter.
Finally we got to Hogshmeade and sneaked off towards the Shrieking Shack. We saw some people we knew and said hello to them, making them laugh. Giggling, we snuck into the shadow of one of the buildings. I sat on the wall, and grabbed Sirius. I don't know how long we were kissing, but it felt like forever. Yet, somehow, something seemed wrong. I felt Sirius's grip tightening as we kissed. I tried to pull away, but I couldn't. He was holding to tight. I pushed up against his chest, trying to get away, but he just wrapped one arm around my waist and put his other hand on the back of my head.
Memories of the night under the tree started rushing back to me. I started to cry, and finally, Sirius suddenly let go of me. I fell off of the wall, hyper-ventilating.
"Lily. Lily, I am so sorry." Sirius bent down to help me up, but I wouldn't let him. I threw my arm at him, hitting his cheek with the diamond ring that my grandfather proposed to my grandmother with.
"No, Sirius, get away from me. Leave me alone." I stood up, swerving uneasily, grabbed my cloak, and ran away from Sirius. I let it go once, but not this time. This was the end. We were over.
Chapter Nine-Wait a Minute!
While I was running, James found me. Wrapping his arm around me, he said, "He babe, how you been?"
"First of all James," I started, pushing his arm off of me, "it's how have you been if you must talk to me."
"Pssh! Like I care!"
"Second of all, I'm not going to talk to you."
"Lily," James said, running up to walk next to me, "what's wrong?"
"Go ask your slimeball best friend."
At that, James froze, putting together what I'ld just called his best friend and who I meant.
"Wait-What did Sirius do now?"
Still walking quickly, feeling my cloak swaying behind me, I said, "Do you remember that year Voldemort kidnapped me?"
"Yu-ha. But, what's this..." James thoughts trailed off as it finally hit him. "Lily, stop!"
James put his hand on my arm and stepped infront of me.
"Let go of me James!"
"No, Lily, listen to me. I know something's wrong. There's something you're not sharing."
I stopped struggling and looked up into his big, blue eyes. Something about his longing face made me want to let myself go, to let him wrap his arms around me and hold me. I almost let him too. Then I remembered that this was James.